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So much is going on.
I am a 16 year old female. I am going to be a senior in high school. When I was back in jr high, I had a favorite teacher and it was quite evident that I was his favorite student. We were so close, he was like a second dad to me, how I saw it anyway. Other students were jealous that they didn't get the treatment from him that I did, so badly that the only thing they could come up with is that we were "together". Honestly, from an outsider looking it, it would look as if we were dating. But he would have no intention of dating a 7/8/9 th grader which was what I was in jr high. I am now in sr high and we still stay in contact.
-He comes to my school to watch over some teachers and we'll steal quick glances at each other
-He'll tell me he likes when I visit him during the school year on my walks home
-I'm the only student that during my years of having him and now not having him that is able to call him by his first name
-He asks me for my opinions on his teaching lessons (about what would interest the kids because I had him and he knows that I would be honest if his lessons were boring)
-He asks me about my personal life and he talks to me about his which is something he never does with other students
-One time when I visited him it was during a practice with the kids so I sat there at his desk and saw how the kids were doing and then I went back again with my friend the following week and he didn't let us sit in but he let me sit in alone the week before
-The first time I visited him was after Christmas break with a friend of mine and she asked if he liked his late Christmas present and he said "I love my fantastic Christmas present" and she said after we left that he hadn't looked that happy in a long time.
-The following week, I went alone so he would let me sit in and listen and after every kid had left, he exited his office and was walking out the door to drive home when he saw me standing at the door, he acknowledged that I was still there and asked if I had a ride, if I didn't, he could drive me home. He never offers kids rides home, ever.
He's the only teacher that I still make an effort to see because he was a very important person in my life.
--what do you think about us? more than just student teacher?
I really need to know if you think we are "wrong" because I am going on an 11 day school field trip out of the country and he is the head of the arts, which is what I am going for, so I will be with him everyday. So, are you like everyone else and think we're together or something?
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I don't think your together. You clearly have feelings for him but I don't know if your interest is more then friends. If it is all I can tell you is to continue being friends and stay in contact but do not try anything. You are underage and it could ruin his life. If you feel like you can't handle what you feel anymore talk to him about it. If he dosnt feel the same way you can always stay friends. If you don't see him as more then a friend but a second dad then forget what everyone else thinks. Ignore their opinions it's your life. In him you have a life long friend don't ruin it because of others. Once again if you do like him do not try anything he will get in trouble and you'll end up hurting yourself too. I hope I helped at least a little sorry if I took a long time to respond. If you ever need advice again I'll always be here.
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I don't think you're together, but clearly he does have a special liking for you. All I can tell you is to be careful and I know you don't want to ruin your relationship with him, as a father figure, but realize, the moment he crosses the line, he can no longer be that person to you. It's weird how he gives you special treatment. Does he have kids of his own? Because if he does, then I find what he's doing a bit disturbing. Realize that things like these do happen and it turns out to be pretty nasty when everything seems all good and dandy. Sometimes, you might feel that you're that one special case where it isn't so. From the information that you've given me, I'm 60% convinced that what he's doing is a little inappropriate because of how he treated you as a student over the rest of the class and he took extra time to get to know you. I know there is a teacher code of conduct where they are told not to do the things your teacher did. For now, I would still be nice to him, but I wouldn't encourage lots of personal conversation. And I would surround myself with a lot of friends on that field trip. Just keep an eye on him because I do not want you getting hurt. Realize that if his intentions are bad, it all started from the moment you started responding back to him because all of this is a slow process. I hope he's not waiting until you're 18 to make any moves. (Get a boyfriend while you're at it). Please take care of yourself and have fun on your trip. (:
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Okay, this is how I'd like to start, by explaining the concept of "Grooming". Grooming is when an elder person (usually male) pays large amounts of positive attention to a younger child, this builds a foundation of trust on the child's part and makes them very easy to manipulate into things such as sexual favours. And yes, Grooming can last for several years before the predator can be successful.
Your story makes me very concerned for your well being, Teachers have to follow the law and remain professional with all students, the only exception is if the student is family or neighbours (EG the teacher is good friends with the students family). Anyway, from what you have told me here, this is classic grooming, and I would be very careful if I were you.
This may help, think back to when he began showing you attention, were you alone very often? did you have family troubles? these are some signs that people can lock onto and make you an "easy target" in their eyes. By all means, a strong teacher-student relationship is a good thing, but personally this feels like it has breached the limits.
If I were you, I would go on your trip, enjoy yourself but keep yourself to your friends more than this teacher, try to avoid being alone with him and please remember, if he ever asks you to do anything you don't want to do or know you shouldn't, do not be afraid to say no (no matter what he says.) If you become afraid for your well being, find another teacher and tell them exactly what happened, they are supposed to protect you and this teacher of yours can easily shift his attention to a younger, easier to overpower girl. Be careful and watch for the signs of a sexual predator. If you need to talk you can message me whenever you like :)
x
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Okay, this is how I'd like to start, by explaining the concept of "Grooming". Grooming is when an elder person (usually male) pays large amounts of positive attention to a younger child, this builds a foundation of trust on the child's part and makes them very easy to manipulate into things such as sexual favours. And yes, Grooming can last for several years before the predator can be successful.
Your story makes me very concerned for your well being, Teachers have to follow the law and remain professional with all students, the only exception is if the student is family or neighbours (EG the teacher is good friends with the students family). Anyway, from what you have told me here, this is classic grooming, and I would be very careful if I were you.
This may help, think back to when he began showing you attention, were you alone very often? did you have family troubles? these are some signs that people can lock onto and make you an "easy target" in their eyes. By all means, a strong teacher-student relationship is a good thing, but personally this feels like it has breached the limits.
If I were you, I would go on your trip, enjoy yourself but keep yourself to your friends more than this teacher, try to avoid being alone with him and please remember, if he ever asks you to do anything you don't want to do or know you shouldn't, do not be afraid to say no (no matter what he says.) If you become afraid for your well being, find another teacher and tell them exactly what happened, they are supposed to protect you and this teacher of yours can easily shift his attention to a younger, easier to overpower girl. Be careful and watch for the signs of a sexual predator. If you need to talk you can message me whenever you like :)
x
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Dear I think they're wrong.,
You think they are wrong because they are wrong. Everyone around you has been programmed to believe it is wrong. Do not blame them. Forgive them.
You are more mature than most girls your age. No, I do not think there is anything going on more than what you have told me. However, I do think there is more than a student teacher thing here. I think there is a friendship going on here. You make it a point to pay attention to him as a teacher, a mentor, a man of wisdom in his years. You make him feel real. Friendship is a valuable thing to someone like him.
You are easy to talk to and he feels he can trust you not to lie about the nature of your relationship with him.
To him, the only fear he has is that someone will construct an idea of that relationship, and use it in a sinister way.
He does not want to get too close because of society.
The United States is a Socialist Nation and State-ism is its religion.
Basically, I see it this way; if you were to become close to this man, he would teach you things that you may never uncover yourself. You would benefit from his experience based on what he has learned in his life to be true of the system.
Since the Powers that Be want to keep you in the dark about reality, lawmakers pervert the system and set social standards in the form of legislation and call it law. Almost every piece of legislation passed is designed to keep your young mind in a constant state of ignorance, and imprison, condemn, and destroy those that would try and feed your mind with truth.
So laws are set to keep you, who because of age instead of maturity are considered a minor, from ever having a friendship with an adult. Even your parents. Most kids your age have two parents working hard to make ends meet.
Parents all over this nation are being forced to Occupationally Orphan their own children to support a socialist government. But this is another question all together.
In a true Republic, your relationship with this man can only be questioned by your parents, and even then, if you consented fully, they could not stop it. Unfortunately, we no longer enjoy the rights in a republic America, nor do we enjoy the fruits of the Democracy. Socialism comes in many forms with many names, REPUBLIC is not one of them.
In a Socialist Society, getting too close to your art teacher will cost him everything he has ever worked to accomplish. Even if your parents approve of your friendship, and trust that is all there is to it. We live in a Society that gets your friends, relatives, strangers, etc.. to become spies in our lives. This is State-ism. They will punish your friend in the name of the STATE or THE PEOPLE (another way to say the state) in order to take everything they can from him.
If anyone in your life, disapproves of this man as your friend, even if you both deny it and there is no proof, he will lose his career, his home, and his way of life. Nothing will happen to you. In fact they will ignore you, and say he probably threatened you to keep you quiet.
This is why teachers, for the most part do not cross that line with students. Giving you a ride home, letting you sit in on his class, sharing his life's ups and downs with you are all no-no's for a teacher. Unless, he is comfortable enough to trust you and your family not to put more into the relationship than it is.
The school has regulations that follow state legislation, so all the more reason to keep away from friendships between wisdom and youth. Keeping you in the dark, and punishing those who would enlighten.
Your friendship makes him happy. Your energy flows into everyone around you, so be careful. The energy you give off could be taken wrong by many on lookers as an infatuation with him.
My advice is to never be alone with him, and whenever possible, include his wife, children, your family, etc. . . Taking a present to him with a friend-in-tow was good. If you are ever left alone with him, keep a good distance, in case someone is watching you. When you are with him, act as if you are being watched by hidden cameras. I do not say this because my mind is paranoid, My advice comes from seeing innocent lives ruined from one malicious lie.
If you are never alone with him, no one can get away with lying about your relationship. Unfortunately, we live in a society full of people who have programmed to lie about things they see, and do not see.
Have fun on the Field trip and keep being a good friend to your mentor.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
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Honestly, I would be very careful. Whether you are in a relationship with him or not, it seems people around you are getting that impression. This could get him into a lot of trouble - once people get these ideas, it is hard to keep them from thinking it and deciding to do something about it. If you are in a relationship, I think you need to talk to him and call it off until you are out of school. If you aren't, you need to make it more clear to the people around you. Biggest thing is that you shouldn't spend time alone with him because then people can make up their own ideas about what happened, and it will be hard to convince them it didn't because it will be your word against theirs, and when it comes to people assuming teacher-student relationships, their word always wins because they try to "protect" the student.
I hope that makes sense and helps some.
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Well... I had teacher that I was close with in the same ways you spoke of and it was Junior High as well. Some years down the line he told me he was attracted to me and that he was just waiting until I was 18. I was disgusted.
I said that to say after reading your question it screams possible inappropriate behavior. Being the teachers pet has it advantages but I would question his motives...and yours for that matter. And please don't say "he wouldn't do anything like that" because you REALLY don't know.
Hope that helps...
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