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abusive/father
17/f 21/m
I dated this guy when I was 15 and got pregnant. I broke up with him when I was 4 months pregnant because he was very controlling, manipulative, emotionally abusive, intimidating...etc. He never hit me but he has left bruises on me because he grabbed my arms too hard. He got married, and I knew his wife before they started dating. He came to see the baby for 3 months, dipped for 8 months, came back, and now he hasnt seen her in a month or 2 'because of work'. He doesnt pay child support but I dont want to pursue it because I dont want him to get any kjnd of custody.
This week, he was arrested and I found out that he has been physically violent towards his wife the whole time. She sent me a picture of her black eye. She got a restraining order on him and she suggested I do the same. Now im terrified of him because he has anger towards me and I now know what hes capable of. I have a few questions:
-i really dont want him apart of my or my childs life because hes unstable and dangerous. Hes not on the birth certificate either. Is it wrong for me to cut off all contact from him and not let him see the baby?
-hes from peru and was not a citizen, but his wife is. Did that automatically make him a citizen? Or did he still have to apply? Because she wants to try to get him deported. (he already has a pretty large record)
Any other advice is welcome, thank you !
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
1-It is not wrong that you dont want him seeing your baby. At least you could maybe have a chance of getting away from him,if he tried to hurt the baby it couldnt get away and it could possibly die quicker if he hit it hard enough.
2-No,He is not a citizen just because his wife was. But I do not know if she can get him deported,She can try though!
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You first need to see a family law attorney. It might be that the domestic violence rap would be enough to give you sole custody and enable you to collect back child support (good luck with that, though since this guy is a major loser). But only an attorney familiar with the laws in your state can tell you for sure.
Taking out the restraining order would probably be advisable. At the very least, if he does anything to you the police will know who to go after first and it would be something you could use against him in any custody battle. I find it unlikely, too, that he will claim any custody anyway and the further you keep your child away from a guy who is modeling abusiveness the better.
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The first thing you need to do is see a lawyer. If you can't afford on contact legal aid.
A child's father has parental rights and obligations. While he does not have to act on his rights he is legally bound to his obligations to his child until that child is 18. There are both Federal and State laws to the effect of his obligations to his child.
If the child's father wants to see his child you cannot legally stop him or keep him from seeing his daughter. What you can do is make sure that when he does visit that your daughters safety is the top priority and that his visitation be supervised.
As to his legal obligation, this varies from state to state by how their laws are written. The Federal Law covers mostly the collection of child support payments.
By contacting a lawyer you can arrange for full legal custody of your daughter. At the moment you have what I would call custodial custody but not legal custody. If you boyfriend was to take your daughter and some how get her back to Peru you have nothing to prove you have legal custody.
You may not want child support from him and you may be able to waive that support in exchange for him giving up something he may want and be entitled too. This is what you need the lawyer for and what custody arrangements are all about.
The fact that he has been arrested, should I assume for domestic abuse, is in your favor. It takes the lawyers to get this all down in legal format and approved by a judge in order for you to safely and legally have custody of your daughter.
As to your boyfriends citizenship. If his arrest is a felony arrest and he is convicted his chances of becoming a citizen are greatly reduced. His marriage to a citizen do not in anyway help him become a citizen.
See a lawyer. Get the legal paperwork needed in place so you can relax and enjoy watching your daughter grow an prosper.
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No, it is not. He obviously is a danger to not only you, but other people too! I think it is the right thing to keep him away from your child, although he still might have to pay child support even if his name isn't on the certificate. I would advise you talk to court.
I'm not sure about deportation and such, though.
Good luck. Any questions, just inbox me!
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my son is now 4 and i was 15 when i had him. since the day i got pregnant till not i have recieved 37.61 in child support. which was in april he quit paying child support. i moved when my son was 1 1/2 old hes seen him once since then and because i went back to the other state to see my mother. i think you should move and get away from him.
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You need to access legal aid to protect yourself and your child - officially and legally.
It's a common misconception that if a man doesn’t pay child support, he doesn't have custody or visitation rights - but legally that is not true. The father of your baby does have rights to see the child despite not paying child support, or being on the birth certificate. In most states, neither of those things limit his rights to access his child. You see, parents don’t have rights to their children just ‘cause the parents deserve them, the law assumes that it is in the best interest of the child to know their father. Him not paying doesn’t change that - you have to go to court to explain why the father’s behaviour means it’s in your best interest and the child’s best interest to deny him access.
Now, if the father doesn’t try to act on those rights - then that is great. He can just stay away and you’ve got no problem and you might not need the legal aid, but you should get their professional legal advice, just in case. Look for counselling services for single moms or teens moms who can refer you to legal advice.
It's not wrong to keep your child away from someone who is violent and dangerous, however, you need to make sure you do it through the proper channels, so it's offical and legal.
His wife being a citizen does not automatically make him a citizen. It simply makes the application process for citizenship different. He would still need to apply.
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okay the answer below pretty much covered everything except that since his wife was a citizen and they got married it makes him a resident so he would still have to apply to become a citizen. good luck.
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No, its not wrong, its the loving thing to do. Your child's safety comes above all else. Good for you! And no, he is not automatically a citizen just because he married a citizen. She can call INS and report him, but if she has a restraining order she probably should have mentioned to the police that he is possibly an illegal alien. I believe the INS has a hotline to call regarding illegal aliens. Tell her to look for that. And keep doing what you can to stay away from this guy. That might include staying away from his wife until she gets a divorce finalized. If for some reason she goes back to him then you will be enemy #1 for all of the things you've told each other. Good luck.
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