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People are stupid...am i wrong?
Everyone in my school doesnt like me...I'm thinking its because of the vicious rumors that have been started by an old ex boyfriend of mine who doesnt know how to mind his own business. I try to be friendly to everyone but it just doesnt help. I feel like im the only person at this school who doesnt have friends. No one cares about me, and honestly, i dont care about me anymore either. i hate this school. help me. dont tell me to go to counseling either :/
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Honey, I completely understand this whole thing (I call lots of people "honey"...I'm nit trying to patronize you). You feel alone, worthless, unloved, unwanted, etc. And it seems like this is never gonna end.
Someone said it before and he was totally right cliche' as it was...the best thing to do is be yourself. I'm not suggesting that you're not already doing that, just encouraging you to continue doing it. The worst thing you can do is become someone you're not in an effort to make friends. People can tell when you're being fake.
Next, maybe you're just looking in the wrong places. The best of friends are people you have common interests with. What do you like to do? Are there any clubs that involve it? For me, it was cheerleading, drama, and choir, and I took those with me to college where I made some real life long friendships.
The next suggestion...I know that you said not to mention counseling, and in this case I do find that to be a bit extreme, but it's super important that you find someone that you trust enough to talk to. My person is my mother. I know it sounds lame, but she always tell me exactly what I need to hear good or bad, hurtful or not, and she always says it in love. If you can find someone like that, you're golden.
Now the rumor(s)...you give life to gossip when you react to it. In the same respect...they don't go away just because you ignore them (even though that's what mommy and daddy always tell you growing up). Maintain your dignity...and find something to laugh about. Chances are the rumor is stupid, and childish. If you realize that and find a way to laugh not only at yourself, but the person spreading it, not only do you stay dignified, but you become the bigger person making you the mature one in this, and that alone will draw attention to you.
Next, and probably the most difficult, if you do indeed suspect your ex is spreading lies, you need to confront it head on and in person. First of all, let him know that whatever happened between you two happened and the two of you need to move forward from it. Next ask him if he's been spreading stuff about you. The secret is...either he really isn't, or he will lie and say "no", but the answer most likely be "no". By asking him, you've just ninja'd his brain, because everytime he starts to talk about you again, it's going to come back into his mind "she knows". And even if it doesn't, I promise it will stop...maybe not soon...but it will. I've been on both side of spreading rumors and being the subject of them, and it gets boring, so hang in there and ride the wave. And when you're confronting him...STAY CALM!! The absolute worst thing you can do is loose your temper in front of him. Then he knows that he really got to you and that gives him power.
Last, but not least, remember that this too will pass. School can suck so hard with all the popularity contests, cliques, rumors and gossip, etc. But it's only for a short time. It will fly by in no time (even if it may not seem that way whilst in the situation). Hold your head up, find something that you enjoy, don't react, confront the cause in person, and look toward the future. 98% of these people will never see you again after graduation, so why waste your energy?
In doing this, you will learn your true value, and that is the greatest thing you can do for yourself. If you don't care about you, you can't expect anyone else to.
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Are there any other nearby schools? you should totally look into that. If not then Best thing to do is try to be yourself, and over time slowly gather friends.
No More Big Tough bad boy boyfriends either.
sorry if thats not true, good luck
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I think you should join some school clubs or sports that way you get interaction with other kids in your school go up to someone and introduce yourslef people that are beliving your ex dont waste your time judgin b4 meetin isnt nice anyway good luck
need anymore advice or follow me up on what happens email me - giveadvice1@aol.com
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Maybe you should be nice to people and prove that whatever your boyfriend said about you is not true . And if people what t act fake and pretend to like you . Play the game they are playing as well . And talk to your ex tell him to stop doing what he is doing . If you be nice to people maybe you will get friends
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You keep being friendly this proves your not that girl the BF made you out to be. I have a saying I tell my boys and thier friends. That is "Manners will open all the doors. rudness will close them" keep that in mind. See if you can get a hold of a book called How to win friends & influence them to your way of thinking". By Dale Carnigie. book store or library You will learn so much about the Art of conversation and getting the best out of people & soon start to make the impression upon people you desire.
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I remember those days, when I was convinced that I didn't have a friend in the world. Turns out I did, they were just busy doing other things at the time.
I hope you'll believe me when I tell you that this too, shall pass. It's hard to look ahead when it seems like your whole sense of who you are revolves around the itty bitty world known as school.
Forget those dufuses who choose to believe someone else's lies. People like that are nobody's friends, so who needs them?
If I were you, I would take advantage of some of this 'alone time' you're experiencing and spend it on yourself. Read some books you've been wanting to read. Learn a new hobby. Maybe you'd like to sew something pretty or work with yarn and plastic canvas? Visit some craft websites on the web. You might just find something that interests you. There is also volunteer work. Also, you can't beat the oh-so-comforting feeling of an at-home spa day. I still do that for myself every once in a while and it's great.
Bottom line, you may feel like an outcast now, but I guarantee you it won't last. Take care of yourself, honey. You do deserve it.
All my love,
Aunt Kerry
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