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17 & I want 2 get pregnant!
Ok im 17/f .. Im about to be 18 in august and im like really wanting to have a baby..like REALLLY REALLLLY BAD..and im on birth control would it be wrong if I stopped taking my birth control without my boyfriend knowing just to get pregnant?..we want a baby just not now maybe in 5 years he said. But I want one now...
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Well I know that I'm like three years younger then you but I hope this atleast helps. My boyfriend is seventeen and we've been together for over two years. I asked him about your question. He told me that if you were me, and I stopped taking my birth control before telling him, he would be PISSED. If I were you I would talk to him about wanting to have this baby. Maybe he wants to also, he might just be afraid of what comes with it. I don't if it helped but I hope so. I just feel that if you really care about your boyfriend then you wouldn't just spring something like that on him.
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First of all ,
you need to tell your boyfriend , that you're trying to get pregnant ,
because if you do it w.o him knowing ,
thats just basically calling for drama .
its gunna make you look like ,
you're only getting pregnant to keep him in your life practically forever .
think bout it ,
because your life will change .
xoxo .riiy a.
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Your body is quickly maturing so a lot of hormones are rushing around. They are very intense feelings right now but you will learn to control these urges a bit as you grow.
My cousin, who was 15 at the time, really wanted to become pregnant. She talked about it constantly and how much she really desired it. I've noticed that as she's matured these urges have died down some and she isn't as centered on them. Her hormones have balanced out moreso and they aren't trying to run her body as much as they were.
Having a child a 17 can really do some major damage on your body. A baby takes a lot from your body while you're pregnant and in it's infancy. It gets all of it's nutrients from you and can deplete you of your own--which can cause you not to mature completely (stunted growth, weak bones, depression, etc).
Also, a baby takes a lot of time and energy. The baby needs 100% of you all of the time. They need all of the emotional support you can give them and, face it, you're not quite up to that yet. Try thinking about balancing child rearing, a full-time job, paying on hospital bills from delivery, and homework all in one day. You'd get so burned out quickly that you couldn't provide a decent life for the baby.
Having a baby means you're sacrificing all of you for another being. You have to alter or give up your future dreams to ensure that they will have a future. Forget having decent relationships with guys too if you're unmarried. They will know how much responsibility you hold and may even fear of getting you pregnant again; even if you stay with the guy that impregnated you he may become nervous of producing another child and there will be a lot of stress on the relationship--more reason of a break-up. The baby becomes your entire life, your world revolves around him/her.
Here are some facts you want to consider on pregnancy:
"...you thought the home pregnancy test was expensive! The costs of raising a baby to age 18 costs between $125,000-$250,000 and that's not including college tuition! In your baby's first year alone, you can easily spend between $9,000-$11,000..."
"...childcare can cost as much as $3,000-$4,500 in your baby's first year, not to mention the higher insurance premium for adding an additional person."
"Don't forget about the delivery! It easily costs between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery and much more if there are complications."
"...plan on spending between $1,600-$2,300 by the time your baby is potty-trained. Expect your baby to go through at least 7-8 diapers a day on average and spending $80-$130 a month on diapers alone (especially in the first few months, when changes are more frequent.)"
"For formula (up until your baby is one-year-old), expect to spend between $1,000-$2,300- depending on whether you use powder in a can or ready-to-pour liquids. Plan on spending at least $40 a week on infant formula."
...taken from:
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It's quite impossible that you can give a child a good life at this point in your life. You need to think of raising a healthy, happy baby instead of giving into your own desires.
Think of it this way:
If you have a baby, you're being selfish when you should be doing everything you possibly can to ensure your baby grows up well. You simply are not thinking of the possible child right now--you're only thinking about you. Be selfless. Don't reproduce yet. Give your children the best you can.
Give it some time. Let your body mature and grow a few more years before deciding if you are able to raise a child. It's okay to feel motherly but it isn't okay to give into your desires right now. It's nature to want to reproduce but it's best to wait right now.
So, in short, it's your hormones trying to balance out in your body still. Relax and enjoy your youth while you can. You have plenty of time to be having children when your body is more mature and you're more stable.
I also hope that you weren't serious about tricking your boyfriend into getting your pregnant. This is serious and if you cannot clearly communicate to your boyfriend about your own desires then it really is not best to put him in the situation on purpose. If you truly, honestly think you're prepared to raise a child then you need to talk to your boyfriend about it--it would be as much his child as it would be yours. It is never right to trick someone into something that could completely screw up their life so please do not purposely skip birth control pills to get what you desire.
It sounds like your boyfriend has his head on right. In a few years, like he said, you two may be able to raise a child decently enough. Please take into consideration the life of the child and the life of your partner before deciding to become pregnant. I'm sure you don't want to be responsible for three failed lives because you let your hormones get the best of you so early in life.
I hope your urges calm down and you can relax a little about the issue so you don't feel you need to jump into things.
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Alrighty. So ignore the "you're not ready" and all that
my sister got pregnate at your age, went to school after she had him adn is living a GREAT life.
but the birth was accidental
you need to TAKL TO YOUR BOYFRIEND ABOU TIT
compromise, talk to him about his plans after schooling and all that
.you may have to wait
you never know what he has planned!
+ if yo just, go & get prenate.. who knows if he wont leave you...
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YOUR NOT READY! please just trust me!
I don't actually know from experience, I am younger than you but a baby is taking on a big responsibily. It's kinda like how you get a pet dog and have to take care of it.. Expect a baby is 24/7 and can't take care of itself!
Also if your boyfriend isn't ready don't get pregnant just like that! Imagine what that would do to his life. It would change everything.
Enjoy being a teenager and if things really are true with you and your bf you will someday have a familly and live happily ever after.
Hope I helped.
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Everyone who has already answered has pretty much already told you what you desperately NEED to know: it is NOT, under any circumstance, okay to stop taking birth control without telling your boyfriend. It is bad enough that you want a baby at this age, but to consider-even for a second- to go off of birth control without telling him, is absolutely inexcusable, selfish, and just plain disgusting behavior.
You do not even know what love is. To love someone, you have to take their feelings and desires into consideration. No, to truly love someone, you have to compromise, and absolutely rule out doing anything that would hurt them in any way. Your even considering doing something like this is not love. It will lead to a level of betrayal no answer could even capture. You are a kid- you aren't even legal. It doesn't matter- even if you were married and 35, this is absolutely wrong. But, you are not at a point where having a baby should even be a priority at all. You will be messing up your boyfriend's- and your- life. Believe me.
He says, "maybe in five years," you know what, by then you will only be 22, and even that is too young. You need to grow up yourself. Being grown up means taking responsibility for yourself and others. At this point, you are doing neither. Do yourself and your boyfriend a HUGE favor, and get these thoughts out of your mind. Use a damn condom, continue taking birth control pills- whatever you can do to prevent pregnancy. This is NOT what you should even want.
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If I were him, and you did that I would be extremely offended. Its pretty selfish :(
I'm glad you said you realized that you could mess up his whole life, because he obviously isn't ready, and that could break you too up. But even if he did break up, hed still have to pay child support. And babies cost over 1000 dollars a month. And also, the baby would then grow up in a broken home with bad role models and turn out badly and anxious.
I know what you mean I realllyyy want a baby (I'm 16, but I know its out of the question haha
So in summary, don't gget pregnant without discussing it first with him. Itll lead to complications
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You both should agree on when you want a baby. Dont stop taking those pills and not tell your boyfriend just so you can get pregnant because you shouldnt suprise anybody like that. A baby is a big responsibility and if you have one now, he might leave and not help take care of it so i would wait until you are both ready to have a baby. Hope this helps.
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i think that'd be pretty fucked up if you did that to your boyfriend. he said five years or so, then he's apparently not ready, and you shouldn't be either. it's a huge responsibility. don't do it.
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No, it would not be okay to deliberately go off your birth control without telling your boyfriend in order to get pregnant.
It would be irresponsible, cruel and plain old evil.
Honestly, where do you get the idea that you have the right to change your boyfriend’s life FOREVER against his will? How can you even imagine treating someone you love with so little respect? It would have less of a lasting effect on his life if you chopped of his left hand for your pleasure. It is that wrong of an idea.
I wont even get into the how irresponsible and irrational it would be for a seven-teen year old to have a child. I wont bother going on at you about how you will be limiting your income potential for the rest of your life, pissing off your family and loosing most of your friends… Other people can explain all that to you.
The simple fact of the matter is that if a woman, at ANY age, lies and betrays her partner because she wants a baby that is evil action. It is cruel, unloving and straight out betrayal. It’s equivalent to assault, theft, fraud and rape.
It is the most wrong kind of thing one person can do to another.
Wanting a baby is one thing. If you want one that bad, you should probably get counseling, because you shouldn’t want ANYTHING so badly that it causes you to hurt, lie and betray the people you claim to love. Only psychopaths and drug addicts behave that way.
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if your really loved your boyfriend you would respect what he wants also and not be so selfish. why would you ever do that. and his decision is obviously the best decision because even though it might seem like you want a baby now, you will NOT want a baby this young. why do you want a baby so bad? whatever need or feeling you think it will fulfill it won't, i'm not saying you won't love it, but since you are so young and not married you probably won't be able to do everything you need for it and the baby's life will be messed up. do you have your own solid job? your own house? enough income for 3 people to live well? do you plan on never getting anymore education? do you want to never be able to go out with your friends or do anything fun again? if you answered no to these questions (which any normal person your age would) then you are NOT ready and should NOT have a baby.
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That would not only be wrong, but it would be VERY VERY wrong and if he found out that you had intentionally done this, he would more than likely hate you, leave you, and try to take your child. I've seen this happen before, which is the only reason I tell you all that detail. Men are viscious when you betray them.
What I don't understand is why you want a kid now. You're seventeen, still very young, and probably not ready for the mental and physical responsibilites. It sounds like your boyfriend KNOWS he's not ready for that. Well... at anyrate, it's a very bad idea toget off your pills without his knowing.
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