|
Bashings
Ok so my friends do these things they call bashings. It's where we sit in a circle and tell esch other what we don't like each other. I hate it i think it's ridiculous casue i feel like their trying to stream line me so i'm some form of perfect friend robot.
They say it's so we don't talk behind each others back. Whenever i say i think it's stupid and it hurts me they just say i'm so sensitive and can't handle critism.
What do you think is it a good idea or stupid?
What should i do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
That's horrible.
I've done it before.
The general idea of what the girl below me said is true,
but, girl, you need to be more subtle.
If you want to get the bashings stopped,
you can do any of these:
1. See if any other girl seems uncomfortable about it and talk to her. 2 is better than 1, and it'll be easier for you to stand up against the people who are bashing. And, if they get mad at you, you're not alone because you have her.
2. Find something better to do. Bashing isn't that fun, and teens are always looking for the best high.
3. If the bashing is at a set time, take a dance class or something fun during that time. Your friends can't blame you for "going to your class." You're off the hook, and you won't feel left out because somehow I think the bashings are tearing you guys apart rather than bringing you together.
4. Criticism is good. Take it like a man and suck it up. Ha ha. Not really. There's no excuse for making someone feel bad about herself.
]
i think that's really-REALLY stupid.
somebody can really get hurt or mad.
i had to do this for soccer because we weren't working as a team and i know for a fact its not fun and it can be very-VERY harsh. I QUITED THAT TEAM BECAUSE OF THAT.
you shouldn't have to go through that if you dont want to and if your friends say or do something mean after you explain to them why you dont then they're not friends.
i'm sure they'll understand and just tell them your sensitive
HOPED I HELPED
♥ Flaggal
]
It is really stupid.And it wont stop them being bitchy.It just causes arguements and makes people upset which then makes them bitch.If one said they hated how the other one spoke, if they were upset they'd confront to a mate how much they hated that person.It is stupid and your not being sensitive.
]
I have to agree with you on this one. I think that is extremely stupid. Who are they kidding? If you can tell someone what you don't like about them to their face then you can definately do it behind their back. The thing that I have to question though is if they are all really friends because I could never tell someone what I hated about them to their face and in front of a ton of people. Sure, I could pull them aside and tell them to stop something if I didn't like it, but never in a group. I dont know maybe I just have good friends, but in a friendship you shouldn't be tempted to talk about your friends behind their backs. It's called being a friend and I knwo I couldnt sit there and listen to my friends insult me to my face because once they insult you how could you go to them and complain about someone else insulting you? My Advice to you is to just not attend these bashings and if they say that if you dont then they wont be yoru friend then you need to find new friends because this to me doesnt seem like they are really each others friends. Expand your horizons and maybe find another group who doesnt feel the need to do this to hang out with. It wont be easy, but if you really try you can definately make new friends.
Hope I helped and sorry its so long. I just had a lot to say on this subject.
<3 Winteromancex
]
Well a long time ago I was hanging out with some people and we decided to do "bashings." By the end of it, people were just flat out insulting each other and it was really stupid. When we did this, it didn't stop anyone from talking about people behind their backs; if anything, it made it worse. I really don't think that this improves friendships. I mean, it could be beneficial if you approach it differently and you and your friends agree to talk to each other when something is bothering you, but what's the point of just criticizing each other for the hell of it? Your friends aren't being fair for making you do these "bashings" and saying that you're being too sensitive. Just talk to them. Say what you posted on here; you don't like feeling like you have to be a perfect friend, you think it's stupid and it hurts you, and you don't enjoy doing it. If they are good friends, they'll understand.
]
Its good and bad. My friends used to do this too! I get the idea theyre TRYING to get at: An honest, open place where you can all tell your feelings about whats been going on. BUT, if you think about it, thats a LOT of feelings going around. And, its really overwhelming when you have multiple people tell you a few things you should do better. I think you should agree to stop having these bashings and instead, try being honest with eachother WHEN a problem happens. The bashings thing is just way too over the top for anyone to handle, even if they are a really strong person.
]
I think it's both a good/bad idea. It's good because you know what's bothering them about you, and so they don't talk behind your back. Also, it's completely upfront, forward & to your face. But then again, the truth hurts & critsism does hurt. :/ If you don't like doing the bashings, don't do them. You shouldn't have to if it hurt your feelings.
♥T!NA
]
i think theres good to know what bothering other people, but also i know that truth can hurt , any constructive critisism must be welcome also your friends should say the truth in a way it won't hurt so much , if they really are your friends they woudn't say anything that really hurts you badly.
also you can tell them that your not confortable by hearing them critisicing you, although it is not to make you the perfect friedn but maybe they do it in the good way for example. when somethings really bothering you about a person but you don't want to ruin friendship you would want to tell this friend what the problem is so they can fix it .=) hope it helped a little bit
]
You're right - its stupid and demeaning. There is a difference between criticism and constructive criticism. They're just giving cristicism - and that doesn't help anyone.
Saying I don't like you because you're always late. It makes me feel ____ and ____. You should do ______ is better than saying I don't like you because you're lazy and late all the time.
Yeah, stay away from that.
]
If you feel uncomfortable about it, at the next "bashing" tell them you're sitting that one out and that you won't take their critisism and won't give them any.
In the real world, you need to learn how to hold your feelings in sometimes. I know you've been told to speak your mind about everything, but life doesn't always work that way.
And besides, saying it in front of everyone is humiliating. If someone has a problem with someone, yes they should be encouraged to talk about it instead of feeling resentment towards that person but it should be done on a one-on-one basis instead of in front of all your friends.
]
More Questions: |