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my best friend is mad because I won't sleep with him
I told my best (male) friend that I wouldn't sleep with him. We had been friends for 3 years and really cared about each other. I felt that he was my "soul mate". The problem was that he is trapped in a bad marriage- really bad. They have nothing in common and fight constantly. People say they are like oil and water. I almost think he is afraid of her. They have never had kids and she is older than him with two grown kids who are heroin addicts. lt time I saw him he hinted we should fool around. I told him that as long as he were married I wouldnt sleep with him. Now he wants nothing to do with me. So does that mean he was never intending on leaving her and just wanted an affair? Because I think he really did care about me but is too scared to leave her. She is very vindictive. I know how unhappy he was with her because I could see the pain in his eyes when he was with her at social functions so if you think he's staying with her becuase he loves he it's not true.
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well i dont know what he said to you to make you think that he wanted to sleep with you. Maybe after you said no to sleeping with him, he got embarrased over the fact that you said no, and in his heart and marriage vowes he knew it was wrong. Some guys really do honor there vowes and committments. And as much as he may very well be miserable, maybe he just can't cut the ties. I think he needs you as more of a freind, than a mess around partner right now, so I think you did the right thing. And the only thing I can think of for you to do is be his freind, and if and when he gets divorced, then talk about messing around. I'm sure if he is a true freind, he will come around.
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Wake up dear. This guy is not best friend or even sorta friend material. It is none of our business what kind of marriage he is willing to live in. That is between him and his wife. He is not entitled to have affairs out of pity. Thank goodness you did not fall for that ploy!!! Now his true colors have displayed themselves, and you need to see him for who he is, not who you want and wish him to be. You need to stop concentrating on him and start paying attention to your own life...you deserve better.
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i dont know wht his problum is
you probly dont want to hear this- but maby you just 'saw the pain in his eyes' because you wanted to. it sounds like to me you care a lot about him. it also sounds like he has a lot of things he needs to work out right now, and it isnt up to you weather or not he divorces his wife. maby you should give him some time- he is obviously off his rocker sence he doesnt want annything to do with you.
maby he does love his wife. maby it is painfull, but maby he still wants to try to make it work. maby he got angry at you because he didnt like that you thought he was someone who would do that. i dont know, im not in your life, but atleast it sounds reasonable?
hope i helped
luv emi :)
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it sounds to me like he just wanted to get some. i know its not what you want to hear, but i was kind of in the same situation before. except they werent married- jsut had been together for years. he always wanted to fool around, but never wanted to dump her. i finally realized that i was tired of being used, and let him go.
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he could feel rejected and/or too embarrassed to call. if he is a loyal friend, he'd wait until you're ready to engage in sex.
his feelings could be genuine...trust your intuition.
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Wow, well I think this could be a lot of things. Maybe he wants to get out yes and I do think he is scarted but he could also want to just use you I mean he is a guy and guys do that. They trick everyone, it's their specialty but you also know more than me but I wouldn't want to get involved and sleep with him. just be there.
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Weather he loves her or not he is evidently committed to staying in his bad relationship.
Did he ever intend to leave it? Probably not. Good Friend or not a gut wanting something an affair knows how to make it sound oh so terrible at home to get hat he wants.
So stick to your guns on not sleeping with him until
he leaves and stays gone. If not you will be the one who gets hurt. :)
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That doesn't necessarily mean he's staying with her because he loves her, he probably just feels like leaving her would be too much of an inconvinence, no matter how bad their relationship is. It's sad that he chooses not to talk to you anymore, and if he's doing it mainly because you wouldn't sleep with him than you should move on with your life. If there is something else you did that emotionally hurt him than you should try to talk it over.
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NO iT DOESNT MEAN THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO DO ANYTiN WiTH YOU!. HE MiGHT NOT WANT TO END THiNGS REALLY QUiCKLY WiTH HEE! SiNCE HER KiDS R HERiON ADDiCTS! YOU NEVER NO WHAT THEY WiLL DO TO HiM OR HOW THEY MiGHT TRY TO DO TO HiM! & THERE MiGHT BE SOMEThiN GOiN ON BETWEEN THEM. "THE GUY & HiS WiFE"! THAT MAYBE YOU DONT NO ABOUT.! BUT iF HE DiD JUST TRY TO HAVE AN AFFAiR! & DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE HiS WiFE. THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST TRY TO FiND SOMEONE ELSE.! YA i NO iTZ EASIER SAiD THEN DONE. BUT! iF YOU THNK THATS WHY HE WAS WiTH YOu!. & WANTED TO FOOL AROUDN THEN HE iS NOT WORTH it!. & YOU SHOULD JUST LET HiM BE UNHAPPY WiTH HER iF THATS WAT HE WANTS TO DO!
& HOPE i HELPPPED!
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Have you thought that by having an affair with you, he was looking for a way out? He might be thinking that an affair is the only way out of the relationship. Just something that I thought about while reading the question. I hope that everything works out for you, and that this was helpful.
Jenn
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