I'm 14 years old and a female.
I have a boyfriend who I have been going out with for 4 months now and at first he was so sweet and really nice to me. Over time he started getting mad at the littlest things,, like how I dressed or did my make-up. He would call me a whore or a slut and other things, and about a month after that he bcame abusive. He would always loose his temper and hit me. Never in front of anyone though, and he just got worse and worse but I never told anyone. So after school yesterday I tried to break up with him, he got so mad and punched me. He said if I ever tried to break up with him again I would regret it. After he left I was just sitting in the hallway crying when this guy I really liked(I didn't know him that well but I like him even before I had a boyfriend)came p to me and knelt beside me and asked me if I was okay. I tried lieing to him, telling him I tripped and fell but he wouldn't by it.(I'm guessing my black eye gave him a hint) He asked me if my boyfriend did this to me and I said yes. He lives close to the school so he asked me if I wanted to go to his house to get cleaned up and I said yes. When we got there he helped me wash the cut and everything and we started talking. He asked me if it was the first time my boyfriend did this to me and I told him no, then I told him everything. For some weird reason I trusted him. He walked me home and when we got their he hugged me and then he kissed me. He said he would take care of my boyfiend. I ddn't really know what he meant but I let it go. I was to happy he kissed me. I was late to school the next day, but when I got their I was just in time to see the fight between my boyfriend and the other guy (Lets call him Matt). They were broken up by the police officer. They were both pretty beat up.Both of them got sent to the principals office. Matt got suspended for a week, and my boyfriend 3 weeks. (He has previos fighting records)I caught Matt as he was leavigng and asked him why he would get in a fight over me. All he said was "I love you and I couldn't stand to see you hurt like that" and he walked away. What should I do I really need help.
duckieh20lol answered Wednesday November 22 2006, 10:21 am: dear u,
If I were you I would report it to the police When the police gets a hold of him there is nothing he can do to hurt you. Hey also when he tries to hit you, you should not let him hit you if he does get a chair
a pan or something hard and hit him in the head run and call your mom hey trust me i have gone through it an now he doesn't even try to hit me or touch me so do it. [ duckieh20lol's advice column | Ask duckieh20lol A Question ]
darkprince13 answered Tuesday November 21 2006, 10:25 pm: You should dump your boyfriend ( it might be good to bring matt along, to defend you if your boyfriend gets abusive). Then you and matt should get to know each other, then if it feels right, ask him to get together with you. [ darkprince13's advice column | Ask darkprince13 A Question ]
BitsandPieces answered Tuesday November 21 2006, 9:44 pm: You still need to report all the details of the abuse to the police if you have not already done so. Never ever put up with any form of verbal or physical abuse. End any relationship the moment anything like that is suspected. I don't know how well you know this Matt guy that showed up to save you, but you owe him a thankyou and nothing else. Not that violence is the answer to violence, but I wasn't there to judge, and I can't blame him for that reaction. Next time you meet a guy that reminds you of the violent boyfriend, turn around and walk away. Use this experience to make better choices for yourself in the future. [ BitsandPieces's advice column | Ask BitsandPieces A Question ]
holahayley56 answered Tuesday November 21 2006, 9:37 pm: oh my gosh, its obvious, lol go with the guy who stuck up for you. he obviously cares alot for you. & that other guy seems like a real jerk. if my boyfriend ever called me a slut or anything, that'd be the end right there for that relationship. The other guy may care about you, but he has to much of a temper, & then.. break up with him, where a BUNCH of people are around.. & be like "Look, I like you & all.. but, I think you need to get some help with your temper or something" if he even like tries to even hit you, i'd tell your parents & get a restraining order on him. You don't need that type of kid in your life.. I know you don't wanna hear my little story, but I'm gonna tell you anyways. lol..
There was this guy, that I dated.. & he was all around a bad kid. He got kicked out of his school & everything. But he was just sooo cute, & he seemed nice, or to me he was. So, then he asked me out later on, he was a 'sexual' type of kid, & he'd always be like to me "You are soo hot, you should be a f'in model. i wanna bang you soo bad." & I you know thought he was KIDDING this one time when he said it & then anyways, to tie that part up, he came to my house in the middle of the night. YEAH. I sent him home. I haven't talked to him much since. He only hit me once, he usually took his anger out on his brothers.. yeah, when he broke up with me, he like messed his little brother up completely, & sent me a picture of his brother & said "yeah, you are lucky I didn't do that to you." So, basically.. I'd get away from that bad kid. Hes not worth your time, even if hes cute or something.. theres other cute boys in the world. [:
partyanimal answered Tuesday November 21 2006, 9:29 pm: what "matt" did was so cute, and you should totally go out with him. break up with your boyfriend, no matter what crap he tells you, and tell him in a firm and strong voice "if you ever lay another finger on me, i'm going to the police." that'll probably stop him. tell your mother ( only if she allows you to have boyfriends at this age) and tell her whats been going on. tell matt the whole story, tell him how you feel about him, tell him you trust him and appreciate his help. don't tell him you love him unless you actually mean it, the word love is so abused these days...
dump this dude, go to the police, and yea, good luck
hope i helped
xo [ partyanimal's advice column | Ask partyanimal A Question ]
looloo12 answered Tuesday November 21 2006, 9:04 pm: oooh that is so sweet of "matt"!!! you shuld totally break up with your boyfriend! if ur afraid 2 do it with a bunch of people arund and when "matt's" around. you shuld tell "matt" u lik him back and you guys will totally be an item!
AyumiHamasaki answered Tuesday November 21 2006, 9:00 pm: Oh my god! You should definately break up with your boyfriend because I think he's afraid that you might break up with him because no one in the entire world would like him so he's basically threatning you to stay with him because he knows he can't find another girlfriend! But this "Mat" person seems like a better one because he gave you so much help like a true friend/boyfriend should instead of hitting girls. So go out with him and forget about your old one and if he starts hitting you or touching you in anyway that you don't like tell your parents or at least the teacher because he thinks your to nice to tell on him! Hoped I Helped!
christina answered Tuesday November 21 2006, 8:54 pm: Okay, your boyfriend's a dick. End of story.
I realize he told you if you broke up with him you'd regret it, but I'd do it anyways. After that, just change your numbers and screennames & stuff so he can't get a hold of you. If you see him at school, ignore him. Don't acknowledge him. Let him know you're done with his bullshit.
As for "Matt", go out with him! He obviously likes you because he kissed you, cleaned you up, & walked you home. :] Besides, he even got suspended for you, which is really nice since he didn't have to do that. Matt is obviously the better choice, and he would treat you like a queen while you guys went out since he does it even when you're not together. :]
I'm sorry that your boyfriend does that to you though. No girl deserves to have to feel that shit. :[ Good luck though.
clarayow answered Tuesday November 21 2006, 7:46 pm: Your bf's a bastard. I'm sorrie but that's a fact. He shouldn't vent his insecurities on you.
It's obvious that Matt's the choice. You know your bf can score a case with the police if he continues doing that to you.
I know it's gonna be tough job trying to break up with your bf but you gotta do it for your own good. The best way to break up with him is face to face. Never ever do it by email or whatever crap-it's only gonna make him pack in more of his anger. Break up with him when you have friends and people around you since he daren't hit you in public. Stay away from him as much as possible after that.
I know this is gonna be seriously tough; you gotta be firm and fierce with him. If he's gonna keep abusing you and the people around you, report him to the authorithies be it your principal or the police. You should tell your parents or someone who's older and wiser bout this problem. [ clarayow's advice column | Ask clarayow A Question ]
queenhearts answered Tuesday November 21 2006, 7:35 pm: Leave your boyfriend a message of some sort ..about breaking up with him. This is the only time you should break up with someone over the phone or on instant messaging. It's better instead of doing it in person and getting hurt again. It would be better now because you won't see him at school or anything.
If he hurts you again... you should call the police.
I would give this "Matt" a chance. He seems really nice. If anyone ever calls you a whore or slut, it's BEST to end the relationship right there. (Only when they are being serious though)
And if you do break up with your boyfriend (I hope you do) you should surround yourself with some friends. Just in case he tries to do something stupid and hit you there. You'll have your friends to back you up. [ queenhearts's advice column | Ask queenhearts A Question ]
dramaditz answered Tuesday November 21 2006, 7:34 pm: aww...
ok on the one hand you are really unlucky that u started dating this jerk. i mean beating up on you when your FOURTEEN? im the same age as you and nothing like that has ever happened.
you need to tell the police, or a parent or someone, you might not be able to handle this guy on your own. if you cant tell someone, let matt do it for you.
and this matt guy sounds completely and utterly adorable, you NEED to give him a chance.
this kind of thing is against the law, and totally unsafe and just wrong
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