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Why do girls feel offended all the time?
Dear advicenators.
I'm a guy, 19 years old, and there's a girl (she's about one and a half years younger) I'm really close friends with. She always comes to me with stuff she would never tell anyone else. But recently, she takes offense in everything I say to her. Today was particularly bad. I would go watch her game (she plays a sport of which I'm not even sure if there is an english name for it) today, and tonight we would hit the town and go out with some friends. This morning I told her that I wasn't feeling very well (I suffer from migraine attacks regularly) and asked if she would really mind it if I would skip the game so I could let my headache pass and still go out with her tonight. She didn't take that very well. Her boyfriend sort of dumped her yesterday so I expected that she would be displeased, but I explained very carefully that I was really sorry and wished I could come to her game. But despite that she was very pissed and told me she didn't want me to come along tonight.
Stuff like this happens a lot recently, even when she and her boyfriend were still together with no problems. She is not the most reasonable type, so asking her what's the matter or why she acts this way doesn't really help. So I was hoping one of you might have the insight it takes to shed some light on this mystery. Why does she act, no, overreact like this all the time?
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Girl this girl that i dont care who you are sometime you just want to be left alone on certin subjects. some girls are'nt effected anyway when they have thier period that should'nt be a concern and i dont think ignoring her is the best thing to do either. if i were you id let her know i was there for her if she needed anything and ake conversation short and to the point. don't argue with her and dont tell her how she acting that will just make her even more pissed off than she is. if she ignores you shes acting childish and she needs to grow up. if you dont like the way shes acting then you'll just have to wait untill she growns up and see what a good friend you are. untill then its up to you.
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I'm rather annoyed at some of the generalizations that have been made both in this question and in the answers that have been offered. Females are not all irrational, emotional bitches who use extreme emotional reactions to punish and control everyone around them. People who engage in that kind of emotional blackmail, both men and women, are controlling assholes and self-absorbed divas. I personally don’t give a damn that they might be deeply insecure, and I don’t believe you should either. That is only a weak explanation for the behaviour, it doesn’t make the behaviour okay.
There is the insight you need dear: She is being bitchy. There might be reasons in her life for it, but there are no good reasons. There is no excuse for it (gender is certainly not an excuse!). She was simply rude and treated you very shabbily.
Yes, there are things going on her life, like the break up, but if you find her demands on you excessive, then you two probably just aren’t a good fit as friends. If this were a one time event I would agree with many of the other columnists and say you should have tried to be there and support her. But if this is just the way she deals with people all the time, then she deals with people poorly.
My advice would be to use her own approach and ignore her until she chooses to behave herself. She will likely call you up after she feels you’ve been appropriately ‘punished’ by her silence and invite you out again. At that point, be honest with her: “I was very hurt that you didn’t want me to come out with you before. I don’t want to go out with you if you don’t actually want me there.” This way you are calling her on her behaviour without directly blaming her, giving her an opportunity to apologise and informing her that her behaviour wasn’t appropriate. If she is halfway intelligent, she will start to get the message that she cannot treat you that way without loosing your friendship. If she doesn’t get the message, if she remains so self-absorbed that she continues to blame you, or if she never does reach out to you first, then I think it is time for her to loose your friendship. For a person who behaves as she does, you will be difficult to replace.
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It's hard to say for sure what could be the issue. Is there anything that has put her under stress lately? Could she possibly have a problem that she hasn't told you? Have you pissed her off before and didn't realize it? Any of those situations could leave your head spinning wondering what's going on.
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Girls ARE by nature, very sensitive and quite self-centred at times.
Girls are very emotional.
Girls in general are rather insecure and skeptical bout the people around them. For wat reasons, I really don't know.
They are very sensitive and even if you mean no harm in what you say, they might take it the wrong way and get offended. Getting easily offended is an evidence of insecurity.
They think a lot. It runs probably in our XX chromosomes.
I think the reason why she's so snappy these days is cos she recently just broke up with her bf. She could be feeling lonely. And therefore she expects you, being her confidante, to be there for her regardless of whatever bad situation you're in.
I know you must be thinking that there are other girls who say "hey its alright, take good care and rest well yea". I can honestly tell you that even these girls will feel a little upset at you not being able to be there for them when THEY NEED YOU THE MOST. Yup. Note those words in caps.
It may seem to be just a game you're going to but to her, your presence could mean support and companionship.
It is difficult for a guy to completely understand the girl. It is in fact very difficult for a guy to even understand half of the characteristics of a girl let alone talk bout her whole personality.
Even I myself sometimes don't understand why are girls so damn petty.
Basically, in a nutshell, she is pissed with you because she feels that you are not there for her when she needs you. She doesnt feel the ASSURANCE from you. That's is why she's angry.
Try assuring her like saying "hey I really have a bad headache. I'd really love to go if I was feeling fine. You can call me after the game to talk bout the game or anything else if you want. etc etc"
The point isnt bout going to her game. The point is bout how much you're willing to be there for her.
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i guess she is just worried about something...
one day when she is not pissed take her out buy her something she likes and sit her down say that you are her friend and you are always there to share problems with eachother if she says something horrible just say u agree with her and make her feel welcome to you...x
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Lots of girls are like that. See girls are extremely complex. We have random emotions, but we don't like it when guys act as though they are superior to us, and by feeling sorry for her, you were (without really knowing it) acting superior. And by saying certain things when she is already upset about her boyfriend (and most likely doubting the whole male popluation, you know thinking that they are scum etc.) she may not feel like shes too happy with men. she probably feels like she just needs support from her male friends, and it is your job to remind her why guys are so great.
Also, girls go through regular emotional dipps, as most likely you learned in health class a few years ago, and we are sorta insane for about 2 weeks a month, so more likely than not shes just going through that.
Or shes just tired of people being jerks, and you and your headache were just the last thing to tip her off. So if I were you, I'd try my hardest to comfort her, and try and get over your head ache. She really needs you to be there for her and you can't do that by pissing her off. Try and be a great friend and be understanding.
Like I said girls are complex, and we need you guys out there to be there for us even if what we say and do doesnt make sense, because thats what we think of you as, big teddy bears that can talk, lol. You basically are our foundation, because you are stronger, and in more control of your emotions.
Well I hope I helped a bit. good luck, hope your head feels better
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