|
I AM SO SUICIDAL!
I'm a teenage g i r l who has been suicidal for 4 years.
I don't know what to do. I h a t e life so much because I have no reason to live. All I ever do is schoolwork and running around to different things. And I get yelled at. NO ONE loves me or cares if I draw another breath. No one.
If I had a significant other who was actually NOT an I wouldn't be suicidal.
I'm considered "obese" (5'3" and 169 lbs) and I'm SICK of going on diets, losing weight, and gaining it all back because of stress. So DON'T reccomend that I *try* to lose weight, because I'm sick of that. So don't even mention anything about losing weight.
I'm not fat because I'm a couch potato. I'm fat because I was born that way. I've never been thin. And I'll die a fatass. Just like I am now.
The things people say and the looks I get are just too much. "OH MY GOD SHE'S SO FAT" and other like that. I'm so pretty that I could get a boyfriend if I were thin.
How would you reccomend that I ? I need to do it really soon because I don't have a chance at getting a boyfriend. And I want to die because of it.
If you don't have L O V E in your life, you should die. Like me. NO one loves me so I'm going to next sunday at 12:00 pm if SOMEONE doesn't call me to ask me out. I'm sick of living and there's no reason to go on like this.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
I attempted suicide once. Getting my stomach pumped wasn't fun. Though it did teach me how to suppress my gag reflex, which has since made my husband very happy.
I know, that was inappropriate. However, it is true and I do know how depression feels.
Right now, the last thing you need is a boyfriend. A boyfriend is not necessarily love in your life. Guys often do not understand depression and so a boyfriend right now will ultimately make you feel worse.
Right now, what you need is help. You do have love in your life. Everyone does. Many of us manage not to see it because of the cloud depression leaves us in.
Right now, you are the same height as I am and you weigh a good 12 pounds less. I get hit on all the time, now that I have changed my attitude.
How did I change my attitude? I attemted suicide.
No, I am not saying you should. It was a drastic measure in order to get help. You do not need suicide for that. You have already made your desperate call for help here. Now you are getting it.
Here is what you need to do. As someone who has been through the hell you describe, I expect you to do it.
Go to a doctor. If you can't get into a doctor right away, go to your phone book and find a mental health center. Call them right away and tell them what you told us.
You will be given antidepressants. They won't help for about two weeks. You will get frustrated, but you will keep taking them because I told you to and I know how it goes. After a couple weeks, the cloud will start to lift, but it won't go away completely.
Let your doctor know. Let your parents know. That last one is hard. They may tell you to just snap out of it. Let them know that depression is a real illness and you can't just snap out of it. Tell them you need them to be supportive and patient. If you can't do this, ask your doctor to. If you don't feel able to do that, write to me and I will do it. I am serious. I take depression more seriously than just about anything.
Follow your doctor's instructions. He or she can tell you what to do about your weight. If you have always been overweight, it could be because of a health issue. That could also be the root of your depression. Do what your doctor says.
After a while, it will seem like a long time but it really isn't, you will start to feel better about yourself. You will find the love you need, but it has to come from you.
In the meantime, know that I understand what you are going through and I do love you. I care about you because you were brave enough to put your cry for help here instead of in the emergency room. You don't want to end up there.
I expect to hear from you again so I know how you are doing.
Please understand that I am responding with the assumption that this is an honest plea for help. Some readers will see your question as a teen who just wants attention and is making all this up. I will agree that this is possible. However, if you are serious, please do what I said to do. I know how tough it is, but it is important.
EDITED TO ADD:
In your feedback to me, you ask how I could have depression with a husband. That is simple. Chronic depression is often the result of a chemical imbalance. Each person who has this imbalance reacts differently. We all feel we are missing something or doing something wrong. It is not necessarily the reality, though it sure feels like it.
I thought I was a screw up as a wife and mother, despite my child being very obviously happy and healthy.
You feel you are lacking love from another person and that a boyfriend or husband will help.
The problem for each of us is not what we see it as, and that is very difficult to understand. Even if we get what we think we need, our brains tell us something is still wrong. If you get a boyfriend, your brain will tell you he is not the right one even if he is perfect.
Once I got my brain's chemicals back in order, with medication, I was able to see that and then make amends for the times I was in fact screwing up.
You will find your own love for yourself and then you will shine in a way that will attract love from someone else. But first you need to take care of the imbalance inside. It is not your fault. It is not anyone's fault. It is often hereditary (that does not mean it is your mother's fault. If anyone, it is a distant ancestor).
Right now, take care of yourself. Take whatever you are prescribed. Do not miss doses. If I get off my meds, I fall back into depression and start feeling like a failure again. I have a hole in my bedroom door from a time when I was changing insurance and ended up missing a week of meds. I kicked it.
If you need more help, send me a note. I'll do what I can. It may not be much, but sometimes just knowing you are not alone can help.
]
DOn't take offense, but you need help. No one should be thinking this kind of stuff at your age. Please don't kill yourself. People care about you, though they may not show it, but they do, deep down. So think posotively and stick through. You only have a couple more years in high school before you're free to do whatever you wanna do. Good Luck!
]
"If you don't have L O V E in your life, you should die. Like me. NO one loves me so I'm going to next sunday at 12:00 pm if SOMEONE doesn't call me to ask me out. I'm sick of living and there's no reason to go on like this."
Do you ever look back at what you read and go 'Wow! I'm ignorant?"
That's all I gathered when reading this post.
Fistly, let me get this straight. You WANT -actually, you NEED- a boyfriend, yet you don't WANT to lose weight, which even you yourself has stated would work out for you.
You're pretty when you aren't packing a couple extra pounds, you're obviously very aware of this. Though, out of your desperation to lose this weight you gain it back and are now saying it's hopeless?
How can we help you if by reading this you stated the only obvious way of getting a guy is by losing weight?
You would kill yourself because you're lazy? Come on...
You also seem to be stuck on the fact that you NEED a best mate to go on in life, this isn't true.
You need to find a hobby and some help.
I know someone that was in your situation. They read the book 'Fight Club' by Chuck Palahniuk and they seemed to have some sort of 'reawekening' and were all cool again.
Try that.
]
Oh, and I don't believe in God. So don't say anything about having "faith". I'm atheist.
]
Listen, sometimes life really bites, but that doesn't mean you should even think about killing yourself. You're under a lot of stress, I know that. But, listen, you're not alone, no one is ever alone. There are people who were like you and worked their way through it all, and there are people who are just like you, and are trying to work their way through.
If there are problems in your life, you fix them, not by killing yourself. You were put on this planet for a reason, and you should live your life to the fullest. And yes, there IS a reason to go on, you were meant to be someone and things WILL get better. At least one person thinks about you every night, and thats true. Let me know how it all works out.
]
Well, you sound just like me a couple of years ago, so here goes...
Here's the thing... you don't really need a boyfriend to be happy. You just think you do. I have a wonderful boyfriend now, but I lived a very happy life for 19 years as a single. And this is coming from someone with bipolar disorder... a fellow former suicidal person.
If you're looking for love, turn to other types of relationships. How about friends? Family? Religion? There are other ways to find love. Love isn't the only thing to live for, either. Do you have a dream or ambition? Strive for it, because there's always something to live for.
Don't worry about your weight so much. I'm 5'7" and I weigh nearly 200 pounds. I'm assuming you're in high school... in high school, people are stupid. They'll grow out of it eventually. Also, the looks might be in your head. I used to think that people were always looking at me because I'm fat, but it's not true. Maybe they're looking at you because you're pretty! It sounds weird, but you never know, so you can't make assumptions.
You've got your whole life ahead of you to find romantic love, so don't try to rush it. Men can smell desperation (I swear, they can!) and they'll avoid anyone who's on the prowl. Calm down, live for yourself, not for someone else, and good things will happen eventually, even if it feels like it's taking forever.
Suicide is not an option. It's a permanent decision... remember you can't take it back. It's forever. It's taking the easy way out, and it hurts your family, friends, and people who know you. Is it really worth it to burden them with something as emotionally harmful as a suicide? I know you're going to say "Oh, well nobody cares if I'm alive" but people do care. They may not show it all the time, but they do care.
Also, try to find something you enjoy... you say that all you do is schoolwork and running around... do you enjoy any activities? Painting, sports (I threw myself into my karate studies to make it through the hard times) or even just a walk around the neighbourhood can help a lot. Sports can also help you to get fit, and if you find one you enjoy, it doesn't feel like you're consciously trying to lose weight. What about volunteer work? It gives a lot of purpose to your life! Helping others is one of our main reasons for being. Try volunteering at a women's shelter, or food bank, or even your local hospital.
This may seem like tough love, but you should never feel like there's no reason to live. Especially not because of weight issues, or because you feel like you're late to start dating. I didn't start dating until my late teens, and yet I have lived a very fulfilling life.
If you ever want to talk about this, I'm almost always online. My MSN is amanda_scott_87 at hotmail.
Just keep going, no matter how hard it feels, because it'll always get better, there'll always be one more moment to make it all worth it.
]
well i love you, but i mean come on, why kill yourself, just shows your not strong enough to handle life. So if you kill your self your weak. Right now you have one thing going for you, your strong, you've gone 4 yrs withought killing yourself while still living through all this, it's like running a race, then the last 3 feet you slow down and let everyone else beat you. Don't be that. First of all i know alot of fat people that are ugly too, that are the most social funny outgoing people out there, id hang out with them all the time. If your not willing to lose your fat use it. Use it as character. How about John Candy, or Chris Farley. Or rosie O'donell? actualy forget about rosie but they all have character, they went places. Candy, and farley both had girls in there lifetime so did rosie. (idk if you got that) i was on a plane the other day and there were only about 20 people on the plane and everyone sorta got to know eachother it was pretty cool, but this one women, who was fat, were one of those people that you just like to have around, that comfort you. anyway YOU choose your character and present it to the world, set some goals for yourself and make them happen if they don't try again, if not the second time try again, and again. You could be selling somthing and go to 10 different doors and noone will buy it but what if the 11th door buys it? you would never know because you didn't try. Sorry this was long but im just trying to tell you that your strong for telling us your problems and your obviously looking for some help hence the site ADVICEnator. Good luck to you and if a boy doesnt ask you out.. it's his fault. Just make a character for yourself, be happy, and put a positive impact on other peoples lives.
-Evan
]
Anyone who wants to kill themselves because they have no significant other is plain selfish.
You don't not have a boyfriend because you're fat.. It's because of your attitude towards yourself. Do you really expect someone to take a liking to you when you list all the negative things about yourself? and especially if you've set a date to commit suicide.
If you said noone likes/loves you, then how are you expected to receive a call from someone to ask you out?
Do you know how many people are in your position right now? Obviously not. These people who have similar problems to yours have realized they aren't alone. and they don't "NEED" a boyfriend to help them get through it.
You're a teenager. A boyfriend at the moment isn't a necessity. What is however, is schooling and preparing yourself for the future. One of the positive things to come of this answer is I'm glad to say you are actually succeeding at doing that, as you've stated you're doing your schoolwork.
Your weight is a big problem for you and you're sick of going on diets. So is everyone else who is trying to lose weight. The successful ones have willpower and have found the RIGHT diet for them through trial and error. Make sure you're exercising as well as eating correctly. It's not impossible to lose weight. It just takes longer for some people. It doesn't mean you're doing it wrong or failing, so next time, DON'T give up. It can take a while to see improvements.
For now, focus on your good points. You've sid you're pretty, so that's a plus for you, so work on it and embrace the good things about yourself. Don't forget people don't just see you as the person on the outside, however.
You're just on a downer at the moment which alot of teens go through. Things will start looking up for you.
I wish you the best of luck.
]
PLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELF! Im sure that there are many people who love you, you just dont know it. Weight doesn't matter if you try to accept yourself. You can be overweight and happy at the same time. There are many fish in the sea, and if you havent found your fish yet, dont kill yourself, wait until you find that fish! find a counsler before killing yourself. its a very serious thing. think about the good in your life, not the bad.
]
look just cause your not thin doesnt mean your ulgy.
Your parents love you cause if they didn't they would tell you so. dont try to kill your self that does not solve your problems it creates more for the ones who care for you. trust me you would regret it. also it depends on your body build you may think your fat but your probably at the weight you should be for your body structure. if someone does not ask you out it is probably cause they are afraid you would say no.
hope this decides the fate of your life.
]
More Questions: |