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Interesting Girl.
Hi, everyone. I'm a 15 year old male, and so is this girl I like. I honestly don't know why I am attracted to her. She is overweight, and that's just a turn off for me, like most other guys. But beside the few extra pounds (actually about 30), she's gorgeous. (or so I think) She had chestnut colored brown hair, and paleish skin in contrast. Her blue eyes are amazing. We sat next to eachother in biology all of last year, as the teacher never changed the seating arrangement. We talked a lot, and I'm very shy, so it was a change for me. She talked to me first, and from then on we became very good friends. She bought me a cake on my birthday & gave it to me in class. She laughs at everything, so I don't know if she thinks I'm funny, or not. But I love it. I love talking to her, I love her laugh, I love how random she is, how different, how uncaring of what people think. (dont get me wrong, shes not a geek or anything, shes in with all the right kids, shes just overweight). I couldn't tell if she liked me, but there's something about her that makes me want to be with her all the time. As I said, this would be awkward for me, because she is overweight, and my friends would definitely have fun teasing me/her over that. I don't know what to do, I asked her for her number & aim screename, so I have those now. Whenever I see her get online, I IM her. I told her when I was doing driving school so she could maybe sign up. I think I'm just confused on what to do. Why is it I'm so attracted to her? Should I tell her how I feel? What about my friends?
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You have gotten lots of good advice and you would be wise to take it. When I was in high school I was in your position only I am a girl and liked an overweight boy. I didn't let it bother me because he had so many wonderful qualities and not being conceited or anything I was considered to be pretty and felt I didn't have to prove anything by dating anyone considered good looking. Over the summer while we were dating he lost a lot of weight and became our school's football star. I was the envy of every girl at the school but my guy felt he was the lucky one because he had someone who loved him for who he was on the inside (and the inside if beautiful will probably always stay beautiful while the outside can change quickly. Think about it some of our top Hollywood stars like Nicole Kidman for instance can look drop dead gorgeous in one picture and be truly plain in another. Makeup can make up for a lot of plain.) A person's weight can change but a beautiful inside is truly a precious commodity. Show you are a man and date someone who is beautiful on the inside and who so obviously cares about you.
I have found in my years of observation the best looking guys care little about the looks of their girlfriend whereas the homely guys have the highest standards. When an ugly guy dates a beautiful girl it really helps his standing but it never hurts a handsome guy if he dates someone who isn't considered pretty.
Good luck and I hope you make the right choice.
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A true sign of maturity is liking the person, not what they look like or what others may say. Sounds like you're almost there!
Really, your real true friends are not going to razz you about her weight. If they mention it at all a glare from you will should set them straight. Time to find out who your true friends are.
If she makes you laugh, brings you a cake on your birthday...she likes you. Don't miss an opportunity for someone good in your life because of superficial reasons. You can go for walks and swimming and many other things that will help her lose a few pounds without your even having to mention it.
I do hope you get pass thinking about her weight.
You are attracted to her on a more mature level and that is great! Tell her how you feel about her, without mentioning the weight issue. Any friends who don't approve are no real friends.
Good luck. :)
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Hi! I understand PERFECTLY how you feel because I was in that exact situation 2 years ago.
So sorrie if this is going to be long, but this may help you in your decision.
I grew to like a guy who's a little overwieght. He's not very very fat though but since I'm a very skninny person, he still looks fat and is darn fat as compared to me.
Anyway, its totally the same case as you. He has amazing eyes, handsome crop of hair , he would be darn handsome if he was thin but too bad, he's not and will never be. And for some reason, just like you, I felt very attracted to him.
I cared a lot bout wat other people said, just like you. He told me he liked me, and I accepted him. When I was with him, I felt embarrassed when he couldnt run as fast as the others, couldnt do as many push ups, etc during our track and field lessons. I hated the fact that he keeps eating and eating! And the fact that he does look like a fat ass from certain angles. But nevertheless, I enjoyed my time with him.
He was a very sociable person and so he had lots of girl frens. I got jealous of his girl frens cos I felt that they liked him and were flirting with him. I kept complaining non stop regardless of the countless times that he assured me I'm still the one he wants. Eventually, he couldnt take it and we broke up. And you know what, it was only then that I realised I had really liked him for being HIMSELF and I wanted so badly to go back to him that I could even forget bout his fatness.
So sorrie that this is all bout me but i just wanna tell you , that looks is really not impt in a relationship. Perhaps it is during the initial stages ONLY but you'll eventually grow to love her as a whole . ANd you know wat, you will even grow to love her fatness( don't think there's such a word but you know what i mean). Your friends may tease you bout it for a while but just ignore them. Make it clear to them to stop the teasing cos its gonna hurt her. Just dun react in any way that encourages them to carry on teasing.
If you really like her, go for it. Dun drop her just cos she's fat. Learn to appreciate her and not take her for granted. When you're with her for long, you'll grow to love her even more and find her beautiful because she has something which not everyone has - inner beauty. Ultimately, the choice is up to you. But remember, dun live to regret your choice =)
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why do you care wat ya friends think? is it because you like a fat girl and you scard people will make fun of you. you should givea a shit what people say bout you . people gonna be like that. everywhere you go you gonna have people that cant say out there beez or they always got to say something. but you got to be a better person than that. no matter waht people says you should go for waht you belive in. hold up do you dislike fat girls because ya friends tease them? if so thats not a good thing and you need to change and be yourself. maybe you think you gonna lose your friends, but if they are RUE friends they leave you alone with this fat thing. im niot fat bour not thing is that i hate the fact that niggahs got to juge girls for what they friends say. if you really like this girl you should go for it.Oh yea you may be attracted to her beacose you interest you and you not really lokking at her for how she looks, maybe its her personally you like.
if there's anything you need, dont be afriad to ask.
hope i help =]
EbOnY
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Hi, you are most likely to be attracted to her because you've found someone who takes an interest in you. Maybe you've seen her for what she really is rather than how she looks. It would be a great idea to ask her out maybe for dinner somewhere or the movies. You could then from there build a relationship with her slowly and when it comes to the right time tell her that you really like her. It doesn't matter about what your friends think or do. It's all your choice. I would first ask her out on a date and build things from there. Daniel.
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so the only problem is that she's overweight?? don't you think it's a little shallow to even think about it twice when you know how much you like her? look at what you guys are putting us girls through - saying that you won't date us if we're a bit chubby, or if we're too skinny! pllllease. just ask her out already. if you didn't, that would be just an awful thing for you to do to her, even if she doesn't find out. and think about it - if she likes you too, you'll have this awesome relationship, and will you really care what your friends think then? if they tease you, just tell them to buzz off and that you think she's gorgeous and like her just the way she is.
i'm sorry, i don't want to be mean, really. i think it's great that you like her, and just follow her example - don't care so much about what other people think.
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Hey!!
Wow, ok from the way you were talking about this girl in your question, you sound like you really liker her a lot!
When I was your age, what my friends thought and how other people looked was my number one concern too. But over the next few years, you will slowly realize that looks don't mean anything, and that other people's opinions are usually worthless.
You really like this girl... it's not all about looks. It's about her personality, it's about how she makes you feel when you are with her... and that's great! That's how great relationships are made. If you base a relationship solely on how the other person looks, the relationship will be over before you know it.
So what if she has a few extra pounds on her? Beautiful people come in all different sizes... I've seen some big girls that are much more beautiful than girls half their size. Say you start dating her... at some point down the road, maybe she will lose some weight. Or say you start dating a really skinny girl... at some point down the road she might gain weight. You never know with those things, and that is why they are not important. The way she looks will change, but who she is as a person and how she makes you feel will always be the same.
I know it's hard to put up with other people making fun of you for your choices, but you have to learn to do it or you will never be truly happy in life. Let people say what they want... they only do it to make themselves feel better anyway. Ignore them... after a while, they will grow up and stop doing it. They only do it to get a reaction out of you anyway... if you don't give them one, they won't have a reason to do it.
Today while I was at work I saw a midget... this woman was a little over 3 feel tall. Then I saw a man with both of his arms missing. Who cares though, they are people too. Sure they need a little extra care and attention so getting into a relationship with them might require a little more work and effort. Your girl... she a little overweight. So what? That won't make the relationship any harder, so why hesitate?
Sorry this is so long, but I hope it makes you realize a few things. If it doesn't, it will a few years down the road. But you asked for advice, so here it is: ask this girl out, or you might really regret it in the future. Don't let something superficial get in the way of something that will make you really happy! Let me know if you need more help! :)
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hello
to answer your first question, youre obviously attracted to her for slightly materialistic purposes and the rest for whats in your heart, and for who she is and how she acts which is what really matters. if you do go out with her, which it sounds like you guys click pretty well, thats the most important thing and it'll make her feel good to know that shes loved for who she is, even if she is alittle overweight.
for the second one, it seems pretty obvious that she likes you. i am probably one of the most shy girls i know when it comes to guys, and so are most of my friends, so chances are she is too and she cant tell if you like her or not. to let her know that you like her you should
-have eye contact
-try to just lightly touch her on the arm or leg while youre talking
-walk extra slow whenever you guys go somewhere
-actually listen when she talks about things you dont find interesting
- and manners never hurt either.
for your friends, they can just eff off. its none of their business whether you have an attractive overweight girlfriend or not. and if they really make fun of how she appears, are they really your friends anyway? and why would it matter to them as long as your happy? if theyre really that shallow then i would just kick them to the curb.
anyway i hope you find whatever you need to connect with this girl and have a good time
:)
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dude go for that shit man. you'll find that the extra padding she has makes everything better.
but seriously you obviously like the girl, what's to stop you? you'll find that as you grow older your friend's opinions really shouldn't rule your life or change your decisions on things. so what if she's got some extra baggage? i used to worry about what my friends would think about me if i did this or did that. but what i learned is that one their opinions are their opinions, not yours, and not your feelings. and that they are gonna say something about you no matter what you do. the only time their opinion matters is never. they are other people with their own thoughts, and their own ideas. and you are your own man with your own thoughts, ideas, and agendas. go for her man, she probably wont turn you down as most likely she likes you just the same. so just take the chance on her. down back down because of what people will say.
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Dear Interesting Girl,
DO NOT care what your friends think. I think you should tell her hw you feel and if they dont understand why you like her for her insides then they dont understand you and you shouldnt be friends if they make fun of you. You shouldnt be afraid of what your friends think maybe they will like that you have guts an ask her out or maybe they will make fun of you but that is the chance that you have to take. IF they make fun of you then you need to put your foot down and talk to them. At least you dont like her because she is over weight you are a good guy to like her for the inside, I say "right on"! I definately think you should ask her out because you are a good guy and I know she will like you because she knows you are a nice guy for not liking her for her weight. GO AHEAD AND ASK HER OUT!!!!!!!!
<3 Alli
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- You shouldn't care what your friends think. If they are really your friends, they'll accept you for whom ever you like. Why must everybody be so shallow anyways? So what if the girl you like is a little over weigt. You said you think she's gorgeous, and so may other guys think this too, you never know, eh?....
ANYHOW
- I can't tell you why you're attracted to her. People can't really tell you that. You should just know it but it sounds like you like her because of how she makes you feel when you are with her...
- I think you should totally tell her how you feel. Don't worry about your friends. Like i said, if they are really your true friends, they'll accept the fact that you like this girl, all though they sound like jerks, but if you don't tell her how you feel, you will probably never know if she feels the same way about you. It would suck to look back and wonder too, that if you had said something, whether something would have happened!
Hope i helped. Any other questions, feel free to ask me , Ta Ta - DD
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