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Self conscious
Hey, sorry if this is in the wrong category, but I wasn't sure what to put it in.
Well, to start things off, I'm very self conscious. I think I am fat & ugly & just not a cool person.
Last night, I was at the pool & I was wearing a bikini. There were two of my guy friends there & one of my girl friends. I started feeling really self-conscious & I sat on the step of the pool [still in the water] hugging my knees. My two guy friends asked my friend what was wrong with me, so she came over & talked to me. They found out that I thought that I was fat & started rambling on about how I wasn't fat & how if I was any skinnier that I'd be anorexic...etc. It helped a bit but I still feel so self-conscious.
Now, for the guys on this site, do ya'll think really confident girls are attractive? or the more humble quiet ones?
& How do i get to feeling better about myself? I hate being the party pooper when it comes to swimming & such. Anyone got any good advice?
I rate high for thought-out answers.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
My advice is that before you go out and you are feeling self-consious look in a mirror and say all of the good things that you and other people think of you. Hope for the best!
~*Brianna*~
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i USED TO HAVE THiS PROBLEM REALLY BAD...BUT i REALLY STARETED LOOKiNG iNTO iT AND REALiZED THAT i OWED MYSELF SOME SELF RESPECT. DONT CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THiNK YOU SHOULD LOVE YOURSELF EVEN WHEN YOU FEEL UGLY. MY BROTHER iS REALLY A NiCE SWEET GUY AND ALL MY FRiEND THiNK HES REALLY HOT (i STRONGLY DISAGREE) AND HE ALWAYS OVERLOOKS GiRLS THAT ARENT CONFiDENT. THE GiRL THAT HES DATiNG NOW iS OHKAY LOOKiNG BUT SHES SO CONFiDENT AND FUN THAT TO HER SHES THE PRETTiEST GiRL iN THE WORLD. SO START BELiEVEiNG iN YOURSELF. SKiNNY iSNT PRETTY. iM AVERAGE AND i LOVE iT. DONT WORRY ABOUT WHATS GOiNG ON AROUND YOU. i MEAN CAN YOU REALLY POiNT OUT ANYTHiNG YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF? MY BiGGEST TiP iS DONT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. iT DOESNT MATTER WHAT THEY LOOK LiKE iT ONLY MATTERS HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF.
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boys talk to me about how they hate skinny girls.
im like 127 and 5,5
its not cute
but whatever
i know this may sound harsh
but i just go to google and search up fat people so i can feel better about myself.
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ok.. i feel the same way.. when people ask my weight i get self concious too. i only weigh roughly around 100 lbs && im 5' 7". but then people make me feel worse because they complain about their weight when they are about not even 10 pounds heavier then me.. but for the guy thing just relax. if you can wear a bikini && look good in it then you are fine. just dont only try to impress everyone else.. just do it for your self. dont think you are fat. when people tell you you arent fat then you really arent. trust me.. i know.. i still think im fat but im getting over that && not thinkin that anymore. i had a friend help me out too. just look in the mirror and what do you see? you might see someone fat but then look at some people who are bigger than you.. you might think you are fat or big but dont think that. if you can see your ribs then you will be anorexic.. which i practically am but not... just dont starve yourself thats the worst thing to do to yourself.
--Laina
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I know you kind-of asked for a guy to answer but I think girls are more experienced in this case.
You most of all have to, have to, HAVE TO stop putting yourself down like that! Nothing good at all comes out of it. And I'm definitly not trying to be rude but guys, and girls, really don't want to be around people that talk only about their flaws; "Debbie Downer."
Look at all of the positive things about you. If you went to a party, that means you have friends, so you're doing something right! But you really have to put it in perspective; all that time you put into putting yourself down you could have been working on a more positive you. If you feel like your out of shape and un-healthy than do something about it! Start dieting and excersizing. Excersize is good because it lets out hormones that make you feel good!
I really, really hoped I helped. So take my advice and let me know how it goes. Best of luck.
&hearts
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I'm not a guy, but my guy friends always tell me they rather be with a average size girl who loves her self than a skinny girl who hates herself. Of course they don't like girls who flat out say that they are hott, but they like girls that aren't afraid to love themselves. Just look in the mirror everyday and pick out one thing you like about yourself. Do that everyday. (My aunt is a psychologist and she told me to do that when I didn't feel good about myself)
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Ohk. I get really self concious too. Im super skinny, so if your skinny like the guys say you have nothing to worry about. Just think about having fun! Apperences are important, but dont put yourself down. Im not a guy, but what guy would want a girl telling them shes fat all the time. Personally i think a guy would like a more confident girl! Wear whatever you want to wear, wear whatever bikini you want to wear. Who cares what people think of you? As long as your happy with yourself
hope this helps :)
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Yea I know exactly how you feel. Except I didn't tell anyone about it and I actually became anorexic. I told my bf and one of my friends and I did feel better but still fat+ugly...But know I feel better because know I'm eating healthier and going to the gym. What I really recomend is dancing. I try to dance every night in my room for about 30 minutes. And Im trying to teach myself bellydancing and what happened to me was I thought I would never let anyone see me dance and I avoided the mirror at ALL costs but I tried dancing in front of the mirror...and it was just wow...all thoughts of me being fat just vanished and the only thing I thought about was the music...Just whatever you do..don't develop and eating disorder because soon enough it's all you can think about and it sort of takes control of you and it's horrible. Good luck!
"hope i helped"
~*skippy_pebbles*~
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Hi there, we all think negative of ourselves sometimes, heres some negative stuff:
"Im so fat, no one likes me"
"Im just so ugly, life is'nt meant to be"
Things like that get to us. Although being fat or ugly might actually be true. Try and twist your thoughts around. Look at these thoughts below and see how I twist them around in the end.
"Im so ugly!, but Im not as ugly as some others"
"I feel so down, so Im going to find a hobbie to do in life"
"Im ugly!, but my personality is beautiful"
Do you see what Ive done to these sentences. Ive twisted it in the end. So which are more attractive? Quiet or Confident? I think they can both be attractive but the most probabal one would be the confident one. Because she opens her self up to everyone and is'nt scared of inviting her self into a conversation, which shows that shes interesting to talk to. Only you can feel good about yourself. Just read them sentences above a few times. You might be fat and ugly, but you are a very nice person. You are terrific, you deserve everything. You are cool. And no one can take that away from you.
Hope that helps. Daniel.
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if you feel like you're too fat or too ugly, you could try wearing clothes that bring out your good features.You could also try working out at a gym, or eating healthier, and for the ugly part you could try wearing lipgloss, pouder, wich covers up pimples, and also maybe some eyeliner.
i hope i helped
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