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i need a baby!
Hi, i am 15 nearly 16 and my teenage years which i should be enjoying are being ruined. ever since i was young i have had an obsession with babies and at one point i almost slept with someone i had only just met, to get pregnant. luckily i couldn't go through with it and after a while and a great deal of thinking i managed to bottle these feelings up and get on with my life and hopefully get a degree to become a high school teacher. Since i have entered year 10 i have been taking child development which is 90% about babies, also a girl in the year below me is pregnant and is really excited and I'm just so jealous! everyone i have talked to said "it just my hormones" or "its just a faze" but its not, its more than that. it is making me depressed and my GCSE's are suffering because i cant tell the teachers why i am always so down and moody so they just assume i am being immature, then cocky when i say that I'm not being immature. I'm not a big clubbing fan so if i did get pregnant that wouldn't bother me and my best mate had a child at 16 (she is now 19) and she says its great and she hasn't missed out anything she wouldn't sacrifice anyway. please help me, i just don't no what to do!
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Whoa.Stop and think long and hard. 3 out of 4 of my sisters have had kids from ages 17-19. I helped raise those kids. and of course i loved them to death and sometimes i wished i had a baby cause they were cute and they were someone to love you all of the time and to cuddle with and just to hold and adore. But honestly. my(very smart) oldest sister went through a very hard time. She was 19 1st yr. in college. Right when she had the baby the father ran away. this made it very hard for her. she had only her family to support her. although she never asked for money or anything but we babysat for free A LOT! and i was in 4th grade. She struggled through 3 years of college before the father finally moved back to the state. They are now very happy and live together. My other sister(22) had a kid at the age of 17 right before she went to college her birthday was in may. so she had the baby actually 2 days before her 18th birthday. She now beleives she made a big mistake. She loves her kids to death but she had 2 kids in 2 years. Well after her first kid she married the father that she never even loved. she is now going through a very painful divorce. And its hard on the kids to. My next sister (also 17) is 5 months pregnant. the father shes not sure hes either 38????:( or 17? shes not sure. She tells me all of the time that shes jealous. and she hate the fact that i get to go party and she never got the chance to. She hate the fact that she wont be able to party for the rest of her high school days because she will have to stay home and take care of a baby. Its rally hard on her. She will be a senior next year. But she might not make it. If she doesnt that will be my 2nd sister not to graduate. I know this was long but i just wanted to tell you
(a person with experiance) that you dont want to have a kid at your age. Youll have a kid soon enough. but enjoy your life while you can. Not that you wont after you have a kid. But at least have a teenage life without being a mommy. I really hope you think about this aA LOTTTT!!!! sorry it was so long but i really wanted to get this through to you!!!
~Skittles~
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Do not have a baby. Regardless of the urges you may have, that can only cause problems in that child's life. You should at least wait until you are out of high school. Do you know how much it costs to support a baby? A lot more than you or your parents or boyfriend could afford when you're 15.
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It sounds like you are thinking of having a baby to satisfy your wishes or desires, that is actually a selfish reason. Girls like you live in the fantasy world--"I want one because they look cute" and you can dress a baby up and show it off. It's kind of the same reasons little girls play with dolls. It sounds as if you have an obesession, because it is affecting every area in your life. You might need to see a counselor or therapist to get to the bottom of why you are doing this. Perhaps it is because there is something else lacking in your life, like a close relationship with your parents.
I remember thinking about Motherhood at your age, but I spent a lot of my time babysitting with nieces and nephews..and that cured me real fast! I could see the reality of what it would take to raise a child! I knew I had to first provide a good life for myself, and then I could think about having children. In addition, I was smart enough to know that teenage pregnancies were high risk and I wanted to start with the best set of circumstances.
So if your future goal (in your 20's) is to become a Mother, that's okay. Everything we want in life that is worth having, is worth working & waiting for. If you want to be the best Mother possible, you will get good grades now and stop the obsession!
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First, i think your too young. I'm only 15 and, sure, i love kids but I am not ready to have a baby.. what 15-16 year old really is? They may think they are, but i honestly don't think they have any idea what they're getting into [no offense to anyone, it's just what i think & how i feel].
Kids are amazing. I love them to death. That's one of my passions [besides Church & Traveling]. It's something i could see myself [yes, i want a big family] doing in the FUTURE, when i'm MARRiED [to someone who loves me, no less].. i just ask you to wait. It may be hard, but i bet in the end it WiLL be worth it.
Nikki.
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this is a phase i myself, went through. i would see girsl at school pregnant all the time and be jealous of them. i mean, i knew my guardians would never aprove, and that was the only downside of it- but i wanted a baby soooooo bad. well, come to find out, about2 weeks ago, i found out i was pregnant, and am now scared for my baby's life, because of all the stress im going through for it. people everywhere are trying to tel me that i made a mistake- but i dont see it as a mistake. its another human life!- how could it be a mistake!- regardless, i realize now that life was so much easier before i got pregnant, and im only about 3 or 4 weeks along! this is jsut the beginning, and things arent going to get better. i really dont know how to stress it to you that getting pregnant at a young age is NOT all fun and games . you will lose major respect, and the people who you think love you the most will turn around. me and my boyfriend of over a year have come across more arguments and fights since all this happened than ever before. just be careful, and if a baby is really wat you want- i cant stop you from having one- although i wish i could.
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Hey, I can see why you would want a baby...you want someone to love you and everything but truth is, that baby won't stay a baby forever. It will grow up, start kindergarten, throw temper tantrums.. you get the idea. Would you want to go to your Jr. Prom with a big stomach? Prom on ly happens once or twice (maybe 3?) times in a person's life. with the medicine there is now, you can have a baby anytime in your life. you can be 40 and have a baby now. What to do: get yourself a puppy. potty train it, play with it for 2 hours everyday, give it a crib, watch it eat, make sure it has enough food, don't let it run too far and buy it toys. treat it just like you would a baby. if you can stand doing that everyday for the next 2-3 years, then consider getting pregnant. <3
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Theres nothing wrong with you first of all. Get that out of the way. I've felt this way numberous times. I just wanted a real live being that I could take care of. Someone that depended sorely on me and no one else. My sister ended up getting pregnant at 15 and had to give the baby up. Even after all this occured she got pregnant again at 17. She got emancipated. Now we never talk to her. Next time you think about wanting a baby, think about all the things that could happen as a result of having that baby. A baby is not some sort of ragdoll that you care about one minute and the next you don't. A baby is a living breathing human being. That person won't be a baby forever. Keep that in mind too. Think about everything you will have to put up with later down the road. Like puberty and all that junk. And it's really hard to raise a baby on your own. Believe me, I've seen what my sisters had to go through. Getting on welfare and whatnot. Just trying to help. Hope I did.
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It's really not that easy! who's gonna take care of the baby?? and by the way the baby can always..... you know get wrong?? cause maby you'll get a healthy baby but your baby could also just die or be handicaped (no offence) and you dont want that to happen right? i would say just enjoy your teenage years and than when your 18 or over with a job maby a husband you can think about it again..
sorry maby this was not what you wanted to hear but loads of luck!!! =)
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Teenagers that have sex just to get pregnant. (or even say they would do that) Thats immature. Your only 15 and yea you may think you want a baby but you don't know what your talking about. In your Paragraph you didnt say one thing about a job that actually pays you money. If you do not have a job it is impossible to raise a baby. Your friend that had a baby at 16 hasnt lived yet. shes only 19 and her life is spent with her kid. And i bet her parents are a main part in that kids life.
Every Single one of my COusins have kids (except for the ones under 13& one 17 y.o) They said the same thing you are saying right now And they dont even no what to do with their kids. 2 of my cousins gave their kids to their mother. And the one Cousin is struggling with raising her kid and she Always leaves it with her mother. Because they are all young they would rather go out and have fun with friends.
Maybe you say your not into the Whole clubbing scene. You Dont know if you will be the same way when your 21 and with a kid.
Your not ready and you may not like the answer that everyone is telling you but you should wait for someone special and settled down for life.
For now maybe babysit kids.
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You ARE being immature, everyone at 15 is. Your 19 year old friend "hasn't missed out on anything" because she is still to young to have the opportunity to experience anything not worth missing out on. Lot's of girls feel this way you do, to be honest. Babies are wonderful and the materal instinct is very strong. You are looking at your future through very rose-colored glasses and you aren't looking far enough in your future. I'm in my mid-20's, and lots of woman (and men) I meet are single parents. It isn't so romantic and wonderful after the novelty fades away, let me tell you. Most people try to avoid relationships with people with children, because of the inconvienence, yes, but also because of the responsibity factor of someone who would let a pregnancy occur at such an age. It would be obscenely irresposible of you to bring a child into this would perposely when you are in no condition to support or raise it. You aren't finished school. When you do, what kind of job do you think you can get to support a family, with a baby at home and nothing but a high school diploma? How can you afford college (to get that job) and who is going to take care of (ie...raise for you)your child while you work and 8 hour day and then take 4 hours of classes in the evenings? Where will you live, as a (lets say) 18 year old with a toddler? With mom and dad? OOOH, you can't do it all on your own? Then you shouldn't do it. If you really care about your future child, and really want the best for it, the answer would be obvious. Doesn't your baby deserve not to grow up like this, with no dad and mom always working/going to school and has no outlet or social life? I think all children deserve better then this.
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My guess is your friend has parents who did all the sacrificing. Unless she is married to a husband with a decent job. That really isn't fair to them, nor is it exactly taking responsibility for your actions.
The cost of having a baby and taking care of it yourself are astronomical. Been there done that.
It really isn't fair to a baby or your parents.
Concentrate your efforts on getting your education so you can provide a good home for a child one day. You'll want a home of your own.
And go out and have fun with your friends. Make yourself do it. Those kinds of things only come around once in a lifetime. :)
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What I would recommend doing is volunteering somewhere where you would be able to work with babies. For example, many hospitals have volunteers who hold and play with at-risk babies. Please don't try to have a baby yet. Wait until you at least finish highschool, have a decent guy, etc. With babies, you never know what will happen. You may have a little angel, perfect, sweet, and sleeps a lot. But you may not. My aunt has daughter who is autistic. As a single mom, it is very difficult for her to take care of her and her sister. But another family friend of ours also has an autistic child, and, because of her husband's help, it is much easier for her to take care of her autistic son and his older brother.
So please think carefully. You may be mature enough, I don't know you well enough to judge in that respect. But don't do something you may regret.
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