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am i too old for this
I will try to make this as simple as possible. Im a 42 yo male, however I do not feel like it nor do I look like it or act like it. Most all my friends are 20-25, I can hang with them and act just as crazy( with out being ingnorant) but I can also be the adult when I have to be. My question: Is it wrong for me to enjoy the company of the younger crowd, meaning, I am attracted to a 20yo female, Im not like some sexual preditor chasing/hunting down the teen hotties, Im just more attracted to them.Part of me feels totaly wrong for having these feelings.Give it to me strait and tell me how terrible I am. Sincerly mndfrk
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I THINK THATS FINE.. I MEAN THEIR 20 YEARS OLD YOU CANT BE A PETAFILE OR ANYTHING THEIR LEGAL... SO I MEAN I THINK ITS OK AS LONG AS YOU KNO YOUR LIMITS AND DONT GO OVERBOARD...
CORi
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I may be ALOT younger but it is oerfectly normal. People younger usually like older people. You cant help who you like. Go for it!! See what she says!! AbBeY!!
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Im much younger then you.. but coming from my point of view i dont think that is wrong at all. you cant help who you like.. So what i hang out with alot of older people and i like older people... doesnt make me bad of a person. it just depends on how u look at it.. if a 20 year old is intertested in you and you are as well then go for it.. dont let age set you back on living life to the fullest.. your serisouly not a terriable person for feeling that way and i cant even imagine why you would think so
-Adrianna
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Honestly? That does seem kind of wrong. Those women could be your daughters...It's okay to have friends of all ages but younger women (a) typically go for younger men and (b) could think of you as a pervert. As long as all of your friends aren't 20-25, it's fine but try to stick with women your own age. It's harder to have a relationship with someone younger anyway...less in common and some younger women only are looking for older men if they have money. Again, as long as you are able to socialize with people your own age, it's okay to have young friends and realize that young women are attractive...but don't try to persue a relationship with one.
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Most people who have answered this question have told yoy, within reason, to "go for it". I am going to go a slightly different route, and suggest that you take a step back and look at WHY you prefer socialising with a younger crowd. Please don't think that I'm judging you-I'm not. But I feel that I am perhaps better placed to advise you than some others, since I was until recently in an on/off relationship with a man some twenty five years my senior(I am 22/f).
Vikki27 is right in that the object of your affection quite possibly doesn't know what she's getting into. I certainly didn't with my boyfriend, and I ended up getting quite badly hurt. Which was not his fault.....he was just less able than he realised to deal with possible strong emotion; it unnerved him. I'm not saying that you're like that, just that if you live your life as a young person when you're not actually young,something's got to give. There will be a strain,of which your preference for a younger generation is either a cause or a symptom,possibly both. It is obviously natural for you to be attracted to a younger woman-there is nothing "creepy" about it-in earlier centuries, it would have been considered wholly normal, as men often delayed marriage yet women did not delay childbirth as they often do now.I'm not saying that today's world is not an improvement on yesterday's, or that there aren't problems attatched to such an age difference; but it is still to a certain extent acceptable in our culture, more so perhaps than a young man with an older woman :-( (though as Vikki says, you'll always get people who sneer and point the finger-that's just life).
Having said all that, I suggest that you make a list of everything you like about this girl, and of all the pros and cons of a relationship with her. What is it you like about her? Is it her beauty, or her personality, or a combination of the two? If it is the former, you're in trouble, the latter,I say go for it:best of all that it be the last, for it is appreciation of someone's personality that makes them truly beautiful in their lover's eyes.The fact that you feel guilty about your feelings perhaps suggests that you know they have a hint of corruption-on the other hand, your guilt also reveals you as a scrupulous person, so you would not (at least not consciously) do anything to hurt your love.
Take care, good luck, and try to listen to your thoughts as well as to your feelings.
Lucretia.
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There really isn't anything wrong with it. You can't help who you are attracted to and as long as it is legal, there is nothing wrong with trying to do something about it.
A lot of people feel uncomfortable with such large age gaps (sorry!) and I'm afraid that socially speaking, this will always be an issue. Even if you do not look like you are 42 now, when your age starts to show and your 20 something girlfriend still looks very young and verile, there will always be those people that pass comment and make snarly remarks. As long as this is something you and your potential partner can handle then there is no reason you shouldn't go for it.
However, the one thing I would very strongly advise is that a young 20 something girl may be naive and unwise to the ways of the world and this being the case, you would have to be very careful. I'm not suggesting in any way that you would take advantage or treat her poorly, so please don't think I am but what I am saying is she may think she is ready for things that perhaps she isn't yet. You have a lot more experience than someone half your age and no matter how young you make look, feel or act, there are some things that will not be different and you will have to make allowances for that. Please also bear in mind that whatever young female you may pick as a potential is liable to have protective parents who will almost certainly take exception to a middle aged (sorry again!) man taking an interest in their daughter. It's a stereotype that all older men want from younger women is sex but it is one a lot of people, especially parents buy into. So if you do find a girl you are interested in, the first thing you have got to do after you both decide you want to date each other is to speak to her parents. Let them get to know you. She will probably want to hide the whole thing from them but if you sneak around, it will make the whole situation worse.
As long as you take proper formalities, there will be less of a problem. Most importantly, remember that you can't help who you are attracted to so if you find someone younger that you like, as long as it is legal, go for it.
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there's nothing wrong with spending time with a younger crowd. i'm 20 years old and i often party with people who are 30-40 years old. you should be happy you're not getting too old, too fast because where's the fun in that?
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If you can have a good time with your 20 year old friends, go for it. There is nothing wrong with having fun. Just make sure you can be responsible when needed. As for the finding younger women attractive, there's no problem in it if they are of legal age. Men are always finding younger women attractive, you're not alone. Hope this helps.
-cindy <3
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I don't think it is wrong. You are both adults.
We tend to gravitate toward people who have like interests regardless of their ages.
Being attracted to a 20 year old is not a bad thing. If part of you feels wrong about it though
I don't know that I would pursue it much beyond friendship. Listen to your instincts.
I don't think you are terrible. But you are just
adult enough that a 20 year old might at times make you nuts.
When you have to be adult and she doesn't see the need to, it could cause some problems.
Some 20 year olds can be mature. It depends on the girl. It is something I think you need to give some serious thought to before pursuing though. :)
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If you get along well with your friends, it shouldn't matter how old you are.
As far as finding a 20 year old female attractive... I don't see anything wrong with that. I could survey 1,000 guys of every age and I'm pretty sure that most of them could easily find a 20 year old female attractive. That doesn't sound abnormal to me. As long as she is of legal age, I don't see a problem.
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