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he hurts me...but i <3 him..((srry its long!))
ok so i REALLY love my boyfriend..but lately since i told him that his best friend rapped me..he started getting...controlling and like now whenever i say somthing hell scream and say BITCH SHUT UP...then hell say "oh im sorry baby" and everything is fine but he hit me a couple of times..i told my best friend and she told me to break up with him..but i LOVEE him! and..if i i do decide to break up with him..im scared hell like..kill me or somthingg!
plz help me.i dont know where else im going to get help!
~lila
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
you have to get out of this relationship and fast, things will only get worse for you if you don't. I know you love him an all but he can't love you back, if he did he wouldn't hurt you or yell at you.
If your scared he'll kill you or something if you break up with him tell your parents or get the police involved, both of them won't let anything happen to you.
You seriously need to get away from this guy, find someone who will love you the way you will love them.
It may take a while for you to get over this guy but it will happen eventually and then you can move on with your life.
In the end it will be for the best, honest
luck &hearts, shandi
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You really have to get away from this guy. I'm sorry, I know that you love him but you have to understand that this situation is extremely dangerous for you.
Do you think he will stop at hitting you? And do you really think he loves you if he can cause you such physical and mental pain?? That's not love. I don't even know what that is.
The point is, if you don't get out of this relationship now, it will get worse and it will be much harder to get away. You hear all these horror stories about girls getting locked away in bedrooms by their boyfriends/husbands and being attacked/raped and so on. I'm sure you don't want to be one of those girls.
So take a deep breath and do something about this. Report him to the police if need be but in the meantime, break up with him (with someone else there because I would NOT recommend you see him about this alone) and after that don't go anywhere without a friend or parent with you. If you haven't told your parents already you need to tell them because you will need their support. If he can be this violent right now, it might get worse before it gets better.
Please be brave and leave him. I know you love him but the way he is treating you makes him not worthy of your love. You deserve a LOT better than someone who would bully you like that. Please get out now.
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im sorry to say this but i think you jus need to get outta that relationship. how can u love someone who disrespects you like he does?? and if you think that hes gonna kill you?? how can u love someone that might threaten to take your life?? your much better than that and you deserve better.
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Hi Lila
My first question to you is "how can you love someone whom you fear might kill you?"
You have to know that you deserve better than that. I'm telling you, you do.
I too, went through rape and an abusive boyfriend like you. I can tell you with 100% certainty that when someone loves you they would NEVER hit you or hurt you. It doens't matter how many times they say they're sorry, and how many times he begs for your forgivness, he WILL hit you again.
You've been through enough with the rape (I hope you're getting counselling for this), you don't need to go through anymore abuse.
Get out of it while you can...I'm serious. Remember you count, you matter, and you deserve someone who will truly love you and never hurt you intentionally. Take care.
Brenda
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leave him if he really love you he will change for you. he wont hit you.he wont make u sad he wont do any of that. i would tell my parents about it bc he has no right to harrase u like that.
*~Stephanie~*
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Your friends right break up with him. If you continue to go out with him he could hurt you really bad. If its to hard to break up with him right now then sit down and talk to him. Tell him you really dont like it when he hits you and yells at you. Tell him that if hes mad about his freind that he shouldnt take it out on you because it wasnt you fault. Just talk to him and tell him what you think. If he continues to hit you still after the tell someone and break up with him. You r 14 try not to fall in love with him find the right guy and hes not the one.
♥ jackie
Let me know what happens.
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What he is doing is against the law.. you should sit down and talk to him and get help..If i was you I would break up with him..
hope I helped
&Hearts;
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ok, well you need to figure out what you want. I mean hes abusing you. You really need to let him go and move on. It seems like he has a really hard temper. He seems to be like a bomb, that could explode at any time. If i were you, i would soo dump him. If he tries to hurt you, you really need to tell someone like a parent, or even the police. No offense or anything, but i dont know how you could love him if he abuses you. It seems that you might like him for the wrong reasons, like becuase you are scared something bad would happen if you broke up with him. I really hope that you make the right desicion of what to do.
Hope I helped!
--Michelle
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I think the answer's obvious. Seriously think about what you just said. "im scared hell like..kill me or something!" Why would you wanna love someone like that? If you can't trust him you don't need to be with him.& honestly if he's this way now, in most cases it only gets worse. So if you're going to break up with him, do it now and don't put it off. Find someone who will treat you how you deserve. Plus,you're 14. You have plenty of time to find that person. Good luck
♥ Evy
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What he is doing is against the law. It's domestic violence, and it's extremely serious.
Tell your parents. They will take action. You should call the police and tell them about you being raped and your boyfriend abusing you.
Also from this it doesn't sound like you love him. The best thing to do is tell your parents then break up with him.
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I went through the same sort of situation. I know you feel. When I went through this with my (ex now) I felt like if I gave him up the whole world would end. I loved him. However, I knew I had to get out, which is what you should do as well. Try talking to someone you trust, like a family member. When I went through it I talked about it a lot with people and it helped me get over him faster. You can do better than him. You deserve to be treated better. I felt like he was all I really had. But seriously, a woman needs a man like a frog needs a bicycle, meaning you'd be better off on your own. Take this from someone with experience. You'll get over him once you realize how much better you'll feel when your out of if.
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I know you love him but u deff need to sit down and talk with him first. Tell him that this is unhealthy and it needs to stop bc things cannot continue like this. If it does not get any better I suggest that you go find help or tell someone so that you can be safe and so he can get the help it needs. Also this problem doesnt get better, it only gets worse so it can be left unsettled for a long time.
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if hes treating you like that then even though it might be hard you have to realise that its not right and no1 should ever be treated like that tell him you feel hurt and then if it continues tell someone else and break up.
good luk
km
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ah wow that sounds horrible! im really sorry. You should talk to him since you love him and tell him that its not right because it isnt. you should never let a guy treat you like that no matter who he thinks he is and no matter how much you love him.and if you just ignore it then things will most likely get worse and worse.
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Dear Lila,
You might be too young to know this, but everything you've mentioned about this relationship is part of a domestic violence (DV) pattern.
Although you are young, you are not too young to start learning about DV. It is a major problem in relationships with more people (teens and adults) than you'd ever imagine!
You might want to google "domestic voilence" or "battered women shelters" to find out where in your area you can speak with someone about this. These kinds of problems NEVER get better, unless the person involved gets help!
For whatever reason you are attracted to someone who'll use physical violence with you, please know that you are not alone. Also know that it will only get worse as you get older unless you reach out and GET HELP NOW, while you are young!
There might be a DV class or group you can get involved in to learn more about this. The DV shelter in your area will know of such resources and be able to assist you with rape counseling.
Please, reach out and find the help you need before it's too late. You deserve someone who'll treat you with respect, which means NEVER EVER using physical violence FOR ANY REASON!
I wish you well.
Take Care,
Earth Mother
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i'd call the police or a counselor or something.
good luck<3
peace
*jaimee*
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