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my grandpa died.
My grandpa died about one year ago, and the only time I cried about it is when i recieved the news on the phone. Not even at the funeral/wake..=\. But it's sort of hard to believe that I didn't because I used to have a diary and i wrote about how close i was to him and how much i loved him and such. Now for the past few days, all I have been doing is crying about him because I miss him so much. I mean i can't even watch certain shows on tv anymore because we used to watch them together, and songs that sing about relationships make me cry. My question is, why am i just starting to miss him and crying now? What should I do? This is the first time i've cried about him being gone.
Thanks for any advice. And btw, I dont have any other grandparents, and my parents and i arent that close so i cant get help from them. Thanks.<33
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The shock of the death has worn off and you're starting to deal with the loss. It's perfectly natural, just let it run it's course and don't let it overwhelm you.
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Different people deal with different things is their own ways. I know when I lost my sister, I was in the hospital room and watched her last heartbeat, but couldnt bring myself to cry even then because I was just so shocked that someone so young and dear to me was gone, she was 25. Later on it hit me real hard because once the shock wears off, the depression comes and when that wears off, the guilt comes and when that wears off the anger comes, it really is a process. The reason why you are crying so much now is because you internalized all of your feelings for so long and theres only so much one's mind can take without finally just giving in. Believe me I went through this exact same thing with my sister. Your body and mind are just finally letting out what has been pent up for so long with or without you knowing and its perfectly healthy and very theraputic. Iam not going to tell you the whole "O just think of the good times" speech because thats never what anyone wants to hear, but I will tell you to find a way to channel those emotions to something good whether that is physical, whether you write it down or whatever it is that works for you. Find a good shoulder to cry on and dont be afraid to let it all out.
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I went through the same thing when my grandma died. I didn't cry until like 3 months after and I've been crying ever since. You didn't cry at the wake or funeral because it probably didn't set in that he wasn't coming back. Now you are feeling bad and missing him because it's been along time and you realize how much you really do miss him. Mourning is good, just not excessive amounts. If you cry like everyday, I would go to a school counselor since you aren't close with your parents or talk to a friend or something.
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Grief is individual. Meaning there is no right way or wrong way, no right time or wrong time. In fact crying is good for you, it means you are on a healing journey. Especially when combined with the memories which you hold dear to your heart. It does not mean your are selfish--it's a proclimation of your love for your grandparent. I just want you to know that what you are going through is okay.
While you will never ever replace a person dear to your heart, a lot of people find peace in using their sad experience to bring goodness to others. If you are interested perhaps you could call a local nursing home or assisted living and ask if you could volunteer. There are many older people that do not have families that visit--and would love to adopt a grandchild such as yourself.
You'll just have to trust me on this one...but it's 100% true.
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TO: my grandpa died.
i understand what your going through. my uncle died almost a year ago. i never cried about it until a few months afterwards. i think it was because everything was just too sudden. some could argue i was either running away from or hiding the pain in the death. [i'm not saying YOU are though].
it's okay to cry. i'm sure things have been somewhat lonesome, especially now that you're remembering all these little things about your grandpa. healing takes time. we might not feel the wound immediately but the pain is still there somewhere. now that its gotten back to you, let it all out.
i just want to let you know that you should never be sad because you're granpa died. it is said that those who mourn TOO LONG for a death is selfish because all they can think about is themselves and that person being together again. you should cherish the moments you two had and always look back on them to make you feel better, not worse. ya noe?
i hope that helps.
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the exact same thing happened to me about a year after my grandmother died. i cried at school when i recieved the news and i cried when i got home and held her hand. but i never cried at the wake, or the funeral, or talking about it until one day..i randomly thought about it and completely broke down (around a year later). i think that this is somewhat of denial. it hadent quite soaked in, it was more like the ones we love were on some kind of vacation and you knew they were comming back. then one day you realize, they arent comming back you know? its been almost four years now and ill be in the town where i lived with her for 12 years, or ill see an old lady whos just like her at the store, or ill find something of hers packed away and ill cry. its completely normal. crying helps, so let it out babe, you'll see him again :)
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I think this is totally normal...maybe your grandfather's death is just now hitting you.
It's ok..grief is a part of the process..even if it comes one year later.
Just try to get all of your emotions out.
Try talking to your counselors/your close friends, etc.
Sorry for your loss
and I hope I helped.
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