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Ahh. not ready for sex.
My boyfriend has had dreams about us having sex lately. of course I'm not ready for that. I have to get on the pill first but I don't know if I really want to do it. He wants me to come over to his house. Yeah his room can be locked and well, it's kinda isolated from his house...and he's usually alone. We've been going out for almost a year. I'm just...afraid. He wants to make out with me in my underwear. What should I tell him or do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you feel you're not ready, there isn't anyone in this world that should make you do it. Don't let him talk you into doing something you feel uncomfortable doing. Just tell him straght out "I dont want to do this", if he cares for you deep enough he'll accept it and go on with your relationship normally. Best of luck.
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If you aren't ready just tell him and if you are but don't want to go too fast just let him know. It is better to keep yourself comfortable then do something just for your boyfriend. Take it slow and do what you feel comfortable with. Tell him how you feel and hope it works out for the best. Rate me please.
Gossip_Girl
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If your not ready you need to let him know that, hes gonna have to be a good boyfriend and understand how u feel. personally though i think you have been with him a long time, and he seems to have been faithful the whole time, it sounds to me like there shouldnt be a problem with him, if anything the problem is just you not being ready. you need to let him know that, so that he dosnt freak out and think that you dont love him anymore.
good luck... feel free to tell me how it goes if you want
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Mind if I give you the short answer on this one? Cause it's pretty darn simple: Tell him to either cool his jets, or tell him to take a hike.
The longer answer: If you are not ready for sex, you are not ready for sex. Period. His desire to be with you physically in a way that is beyond your boundaries should have no bearing whatsoever on what the two of you do together.
And the longer you are with him and letting him pressure you about it without either you giving in or laying down the law, the tougher things are going to get.
He's either going to 1) keep pressuring you until you cave in and do something you don't want to do, 2) he's going to get frustrated from asking and being told no and he'll eventually leave you, or 3) you're going to get frustrated from him always asking and telling him no and you'll eventually leave him.
You need to either speak up now, or be prepared to keep being pressured until you either do things his way or until the two of you break up.
This isn't an easy situation to be in, but it is a very easy situation to get out of. That doesn't mean the results will be easy to deal with, but it's certainly not *technically* difficult to remedy this situation. Don't let fear or intimidation make the decision for you. Act now while you still realize you have a choice that is all yours to make.
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He seems like a very important person to you, if you are as important to him he wont mind waiting until you are ready. Just take things a step at a time, sex isn't the be all and end all.
Boys have dreams about having sex all the time, it doesn't mean you have to fulfill his dream, plus the fact the longer you both wait the better it will be.
You need to be comfortable with him in you underwear before you move on. If you feel comfortable with making out with him in your underwear there is no harm in that, maybe in your room where if he wants to move on and you don't you feel more comfortable with saying no.
You have no obligation to do anything you do not want to, there are many others including myself in a similar position and saying no is nothing to be ashamed of!
Girl Power xxx
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definately dont do something you dont want to or are not ready for! it can ruin the good stuff you guys have going. you seem to be feeling pretty weird about all this..so definately tell him! you have been together for almost a year..thats a long time! im sure if you express how your feeling weird aobut it..your bf will lay off..because i know i dont ever want to make my bf feel pressured or anything..im sure your bf feels the same way.
-meliss
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If i was you i wouldn't let your boyfriend decide something for you.Its your body, you do whatever you want with it. Don't let somebody force you into doing something you dont want too..oh yeah try talking to your boyfriend about how you feel. If he doesnt respect you then hes not worth it..good luck
♥ ASHLEY
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doing things you are not ready for can ruin relashonships and if you too have been goign out for 1 year then i realyt dont htink that you would want that uncomfortable feeling that could ruin a relshoship just explain to himm that right now you are not ready for it hope i helped
-lindsey-
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I know everyone says this but seriously, if you aren't ready don't do it. You will regret it. Trust me, my friend had sex the first time and she said she regrets it soo much because her boyfriend (of one year) kept pressuring her. Tell him you aren't ready. If he doesn't accept that, he isn't worth it.
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Don't do it if you're not ready.
Don't get on the pill just to have sex with your boyfriend.
Also, if you're afraid..It's a sign that you're not ready.
Tell him how you feel.
If he TRULY cares about you, he won't force/persuade you to do anything you're uncomfortable with.
♥ ♥
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tell him your not ready and you want to wait a little while longer. if he cares for you, then he'll understand. dont do anything your not comfortable with doing
Alicia
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Dont do it, if you dont want to.
If he's that great of a guy He'd wait for you to be ready. Sex and Love is a too part commitment both need to ready to move on.
trust yourself.
<3
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