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starting to show signs


Question Posted Sunday December 18 2005, 11:56 pm

hey i'm a guy. this girl i know is starting to scare me. we used to talk about everything and always have a blast, but a few months ago we started to talk less. i noticed she wasn't as active as she was before, and asked her about it. just as it seemed to be, she told me she was depressed and didn't like the kind of life she was living. she went on about all the bad things in her life with family, school, friends, herself, etc. i tried to point out good things to her, but she always came back at me with something to disprove it. after not talking for a week or so, she said she just wanted to end her life and to get away from everything. i didn't take this too serious at first, but lately she hasn't been eating, barely talks, and hasn't been looking too healthy. if she is thinking about suicide, what should i do? i asked her about it and she didn't want to talk. should i tell her parents? please help

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Heartwhisper answered Monday January 2 2006, 3:09 pm:
Wow, what a good friend you are to seek help for her.... one day she'll truly appreciate having a friend like you. I really don't have an answer.... does she get along with her parents, or one of them? If so, I'm sure they've noticed a change but they may appreciate hearing it from one of her caring friends. If not, then I'd try a different approach.... does she eat well when she eats...is she conscious of heathy foods vs junk stuff? She may have a female hormone imbalance.... is their a working herbstore around you or a good healthfood store around... go there and ask them... take her there and see if she will be interested...also there are some really good herbal anti-depressants that are all natural with no side effects and I know people who got off presciption ant-depressants with them.... does she get any exercise, take her walking... does she do fun things outside the home, are her parents quarreling, or getting a divorce... is she taking any medications... perhaps depression is a side effect.... does she have bad dreams and they are effecting her daytime.... is she overweight, does she have proper bowel movements... if we don't eliminate properly we become walking talking toxic waste dumps.... what else.... it sounds like she could use a natural anti-depressant first... to help with symptoms right away and then look into the female imbalances..... does she have periods like she is suppose to...does she take birth control pills.... good luck I hope this helps.... any good library will have a women's section...perhaps the two of you can go and research female imbalance issues... and she'll find her problem there... and they will share some solutions if you find the good books... there are many.... good luck and I wish I had a friend like you!

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askannette answered Wednesday December 21 2005, 6:40 pm:
YES,YES,YES! She might hate you, but you do have to tell someone! There are so many great things about life. You can't let her end her life. Bring her out and do stuff. Bring her out to try new things, new types of food. If she rejects, then you will definitely HAVE to report her to authorities. She needs professional help!
signed,
M.J. (askannette)

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tootsierollsweet999 answered Tuesday December 20 2005, 11:10 pm:
oh my godness tell her parents teachers any body that could give atleatst some kind of help if shes mad at you now when her life is better again shell thank you
help her
.::katie::.

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Nablith answered Monday December 19 2005, 10:09 pm:


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xcheerbabex108 answered Monday December 19 2005, 7:18 pm:
I think you should get help! Anyone who is an adult and who you can trust. This is serious! And, you can help. Maybe even save a life. Tell someone. If her parents are the caring type, try telling them and see what they say. Now if they aren't, well, that's a little bit tougher. Try telling anyone you can trust and who is an adult, or doctor, or anyone! Just get help for the girl! Now, I don't know if you want to confront her, but I wouldn't. It's up to you, but I would tell someone preferably without telling her herself. And ratings make lovely feiends. Also: Good luck, I hope she can get help, (there's too much of this kinda crap these days) and do your best in doing this. I'm sorry; it's a good thing you asked for something to do. ♥

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lalathepinkbunny answered Monday December 19 2005, 12:40 pm:
She is thinking about suicide. I know because i was her a couple of months ago. Just be there for her and let her know you care for her. Try to take her out to do fun things with you like the movies or hanging out at the mall. My friends did this for me and that was the biggest thing that helped me get through my depression period. I wouldn't tell her parents unless you arent't getting through to her.At least try to help her before you tell her parents because that will just make it worse. So save that as a last resort.

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keller09 answered Monday December 19 2005, 3:20 am:
if you really care about her do practitcly whatever you need to do to get her back to normal. To tell you the truth i have had this exact situation with my best friend in the whole world she had many attemts to commit suicide and i was usally there to stop her. But one day i wasn't there to stop her and she sucseffly commited suicide.That was one of the worst days of my life. So take my advice watch her and have some friends also keep an eye on her if you r wondering if you should tell her parents, yes, get her and her parents and you and your parents in one room and talk about it or go to a consaler with her and her parents and talk about it there. If you care and don't want to lose her i will tell you start talking action and don't always think about what will happen between your friendship because in the end she will thank you.

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rainshowersz answered Monday December 19 2005, 2:05 am:
I went through a similar instance in my life. The thing you need to do is: Be empathetic-meaning, don’t sympathize and try to resolve her issues by being insanely motivational or by pointing out the positives, Im not doubting you as a caring friend, but people tend to use the "fight or flight" reaction to beckon to a friend in need which ever way our brain lead us, especially when its in this case-- you just want your old friend back and for her not to suffer.
Give her a sign that you feel (truly) what she feels. Don’t recite the good that’s going on to deter her from thinking the bad , any situation that is making her depressed--she already knows about, and thinking of the good for her-- is telling a kid in a candy shop he cant have any candy. It will make her feel worse to constantly tell her to escape from this depressive state, she doesn’t like where she is, and is fully aware and feels very helpless. Be the friend that sits w/her at a coffee shop/or equally quiet place, yielding nothing but hope and care-- and ask her in a calm voice, and in a relaxed state, one or more of the following --"What can I do for you?" "What do you want me to do?" "Do you need my help?" Don’t have any fear in your voice because it will lesson the likely hood of her entrusting in you as the pillar of strength and the control that she is currently lacking. Not eating is most definalty a sign of “Well, I have nothing else under control in my life—but at least I have control over myself..” Its a black or white thought process—its one thing or the other, no in between or grey area. And always to the extreme of the opposite sides of the spectrum. She hasn’t conroll over her life roght now—other side of the spectrum—I will control my eating/sleeping etcetc. OR “This, this and that are going on in my life and its bad—it’s the worst thing come to my life and what im feeling will never go away”. “He said no—he hates me”..and so forth, im sure u get it, hopefully u dont think im crazy.
She is also looking for someone that will allow her to release all the pent up emotions and issues that have been haunting her. When and if, she lets it out--and especially if she allows your questions, tell her it'll be okay, your here to help because you care. Later ask her if she'd see a therapist or a professional for added support. Remind her that she will always have a friend willing to help her and at the same time make a presence thats strong and not threatening. Good luck-hope you kinda got what I was getting @.

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Meetmyyimshi13 answered Monday December 19 2005, 1:58 am:
wow...i've been in that same situation many times..i've even been the one that had the suicidal thoughts....honestly i wouldn't tell her parents..when my friends told me parents it only made things much worse..i don't have suicidal thoughts anymore...because i talk to my friends about it..it's the best way...so yea just talk to her about it and tell her how much you care about her and you don't want to lose her...when my friends had suicidal thoughts, me and some of my other friends talked to her..now she doesn't have suicidal thoughts anymore...so you should definatly talk to her

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naimee answered Monday December 19 2005, 1:48 am:
Yes, tell her parents! That's exactly what I would do! Or, maybe just try & talk to her one last time. Tell her that she's scaring you and what she's doing isn't safe. Reassure her that you will always be here for her, if she ever needs to talk. Even if it isn't a parent you tell, tell a counselor at your school.

But, yes. Definitely tell her parents, right away. =]

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DanceTheNightAway answered Monday December 19 2005, 12:55 am:
parents. definitely parents. they help more than you could possibly know. i went through one of the same things, just a lot faster, where i just wanted to die, and i started doing drugs and stuff, iw as always a good kid, and i ran away, ended up in some town 200 miles away.

my parents put me in rehab, and i'm doing pretty well now, so i'd say that's the way to go. she's gonna be pissed at first. like incredibly angry, but if it all works she'll understand, and i really hope this works out for you.

however long this has been going on, rehab may seem a little extreme to you, but mine went on for a few weeks. it really helped me, because i'm incredibly extreme, so i would seriously consider it.

good luck with this, and feel free to email me on rulethefreeworld@yahoo.com or im me on RockstarYizzo on aim if you need any more ifno.

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cheburashka answered Monday December 19 2005, 12:33 am:
sounds like a very serious teenage depression. if her parents care about her at all, they should know by now that she's depressed because parents feel these things, but you should talk to them anyway and tell them you fears. they might take her to a therapist or just talk to her to help her deal with her problems.

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Teza answered Monday December 19 2005, 12:02 am:
You defenetlly need to tell someone. Her parents, counslor, your parents. She might be mad at you for doing that.. which she probablly will, but that doesn't matter. What she is going through is really bad and she shouldn't be doing that to herself. Life is too short to be depressed. You need to tell someone before it's too late. She needs help and in the future she will thank you for being a great friend. You're not telling someone because you want to, but you need to be a good friend and help her out even if it's against her will.

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HectorJr answered Monday December 19 2005, 12:00 am:
Don't wait - tell someone. Talk to her parents about it and let them know everything you just wrote, and I mean everything. Do what you can to stay close to her and keep her active and interested in things; help her to see the brighter side of things. Let her know that you do care about her as a friend, because chances are she probably thinks that nobody cares about her. Do what you can to reach out to her and let her know that no matter how bad things are, even though things could be worse, you have to stay strong. Listen to what she has to say, and let her vent out on what her problems are and what she wants and needs - that will probably be your clue as to what you should do next. Definately tell someone as soon as you can. Hope that helped.

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