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i am so confused
ok i asked this question earlier but i didnt see it posted. anyway i am a 25 year old married woman, i have 2 georgeous children. my problem is when i am at work i have access to a computer and for the last 6 months i have been talking to a really great guy. sometimes he calls me also, we talk about everything and he makes me feel really good. i feel like if i wouldnt of gotten married he is the man i would want to be with. to make things more complicated, i am falling in love with him. we have never meet, i want to but he knows i am married and only wants to be a friend, i did to at first, but my feelings are changing. i dont want to destroy my family life ever, but i know it is also not fair to my husband, me sitting there thinking about what if im supposed to be with this other guy. what should i do, follow my heart or do what society and everyone else would say is right.please help
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Don't be ho. What you're doing is wrong. If you aren't happy with your husband, show him and you family enough respect to at least separate first before youo any further. Sound drastic? Especially if you don't know what is going to happen with the new guy? Oh yeah! It is! Get yourself together and stop giving all of us woman a bad name.
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It might be helpful to talk to your husband the way you do with your internet friend. Marriage is a constant work in progress. By giving up on a perfectly healthy marriage to pursue an relationship with a man you have not even met yet is not fair to your husband, children, or yourself. Focus less attention on your internet friend and try to figure out a way to channel that energy back into your marriage. While this new person seems to be all these things, you only know what he tells you. In the grand scheme of things you know nothing about him at all. Is it worth getting rid of a good man in the hopes of finding another good man? That is a question you must answer yourself.
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i would tell you to follow your heart.i mean no body knows you as much as you do.that would be the most logical thing to do.but as a daughter i couldnt imagine my mom just leaving and gonig off in the sunset with some guy she met on the internet.i no your in love and that is the most powerful thing in the world but you have to thikn about your kids.i no sometimes you have to only think of your feelings but this would ruin your life and theirs if left you husband. also even though your in love with this man doesnt mean your out of love with your husband.your probably still deeply, madly, truely in love with your husband. so this would mean your in love with two men.so think of it like this:you have one person your in love with and you cant have two.
do what you think is best. if you must follow your heart dont forget that your kids are in your heart too .as well as your husband.
hope i helped
Delilah
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please remember that just because you don't like the advice you asked for does not mean it's wrong.
that story has been played a million times. first of all you are already cheating on your husband. Yep, you're only typing and talking to this guy, but you are not being true to your marriage. if it is not something/someone you can share with your husband then it is wrong.
secondly, it is so easy to get wrapped up in the person on the other end... they understand you, they support you... yadda yadda yadda. but get smart! that is SO easy to do and don't think that you're the only one he's "talking" to. Generally the people that are chatting/contacting on-line are doing it constantly and it's a form of entertainment, not a relationship no matter what you think.
thirdly... this could very well be a guy that if you ran into in person, you wouldn't give him the time of day. no matter how well you communicate it doesn't mean you're in love, it will still come down to a physical attraction as well.
lastly...how would you feel if your husband had the same little game going on? Is it "cheating" then? And besides the fact that you are being paid to work and you're using your company's equipment for personal use. You need to get away from that fake reality and get back into your OWN life.
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yeah well there are lots of questions like that over the web. most guys are nice until you meet them they put on a front on the computer to make them seem as if they are hot stuff but theyre not. dont get tangled up in him soon as you see hi you might think he is ugly, too short, too skiny, and it goes on and on. if he doesnt live nearby or if you have never seen him then, dont continue chatting with him. he is only best for a chat buddy, that all. dont destroy your family for a guy you never met in "real' life, because people are two faced these days.
P.S be safe and dont do nothing you'll regret.
--good luck--hot amerindian
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so you have never met this guy and you tthink youn might be in love with him/i think that you may have problems in your marriage like your husbands not giving you enough attention and thats why you are going to that guy.think about what you really want.like your children too.how old are they.do they take away all your free time and you have none left for you and your husband.also about your sex life.is it great.what would you rate it. also what o you see thats wrong with your mairriage.you need to think realv hard on these things then if you find a poblem try to work it out.when people go to strangers for company.its to get attention that they might not be recienving form their partners.
for more questions .give me your sn and we wwill talk.
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You need to sit down, think hard, and make a decision now. Because this is an old, old story, and it's as inevitable as the law of gravity.
Either you're going to shut down this online emotional affair *completely*, or else you're going to give up your husband and children. Anything else would be dishonest and, I hope, beneath you.
My guess is that you wouldn't be looking for romance online if it wasn't missing from your marriage. I can understand that, believe me. And if no one else was involved, I'd tell you to go for it.
But you and your husband created two children, children who will be seriously hurt if you should leave. To tell the truth, I think there's a very good chance that they already sense a strain in your marriage, even if your husband isn't aware of it yet; children are very sensitive to that sort of thing.
So unless you can honestly say that there's absolutely no hope for your marriage, I'd urge you to completely break off the online relationship NOW. Get into couples therapy with your husband as soon as possible, because it's *crucial* that you find a way to get the romance that you need from him.
And please remember this: your husband cannot possibly compete with the man you've been talking to online. That's an unreal, idealized relationship; you've never seen this online guy at anything other than his best. He can't have morning breath. You can't see him look stupid in an awward moment. He doesn't burp, or fart. He doesn't even use the bathroom - not as far as you're concerned. So he's perfect.
But I can guarantee that the reality would be different. You'd find shortcomings and flaws, because he, like all of us, is human. And if you regretted your choice, if you regretted your children's pain...it would be too late to do anything about it. You'd have shattered four lives, at least. And there's no way to repair a shattered life or a broken heart.
You owe it to yourself, your husband, and to your children to try to make your marriage work. You even owe it to the online man, because if you go with him and end up regretting it (which would be VERY likely), you might well end up blaming HIM.
So please, before you make that decision, try couples therapy. And I'd suggest that you tell the therapist about your online affair in *private* at first; don't tell your husband, or matters could quickly move totally out of your control.
Good luck.
PS - If your husband won't go with you to couples therapy, go by yourself. It will help, and your therapist may be able to help you work out some ways to convince your husband to give it a try, too. Perhaps he doesn't want to go to couples therapy because subconsciouly he thinks that doing so would make the problem in your marriage "real". But once he sees that you really are going, he may change his mind.
Good luck!
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I think it is time to stop being selfish and stop all contact with this man. Your duty is to your husband, and more importantly your children. Don't destroy their lives so you can maybe be with a man you have never met. Even if you were single I would recommended this relationship to be terminated. Your time and energy should be focused on your children, not love affairs. You are a mother now, what you want no longer comes first. Do what is right for the children.
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