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alcholic
my husband is an alcholic, he promises to stop drinking but i always seem to find bottles of beer hidden in different places how can i help him stop he seems to think he is not hurting anyone but i dont like the drunken behaviour in front of my kids even though they are grown up but now he has his first grandchild and yet he still wont stop, you see he stopped drinking for 22 years and for the last 5 he has been secretly drinking cause everytime i find his bottl es we argue can you advise me please.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
My dad is an alcoholic and its a sad thing. Ive come to realize that you cant help them, no matter what you say or do, because its a disease and 9 times out of 10 they dont have a problem. The only way that he will stop is if he admits that hes an alcoholic and seeks help through AA. Its not a safe thing to be around, if he gets mean when he drinks. You can try telling him he needs to stop, like Ive told my dad, but truthfully that just doesnt seem to help. Ive also tried pushing him to go to AA, but he just gets mad and says he doesnt have a problem. Maybe if you say if he doesnt stop you'll leave him, that might change his mind and he might go to classes. Good luck =/.
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well then....you could also leave him :/
it seems like the relationship just isnt working out so maybe its time go your sperate ways.or at least tell him that if he doesnt change then your gonna be forced to leave him.
hope i helped this time XoXo
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You could consult a health professional for pills that once added to alcohol, make you horribly sick and may turn him off to it. You could get the pills, find his secret stash, add the pills to an opened, half-empty bottle or open one and close it back up (not sure if that will work)and when he drinks it, he'll get very sick. maybe that will make him realize how awful it really is. i wish you luck!
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I think you should have an intervention. You and your kids should get together and talk to him about it. Have your kids tell how they felt when they were growing up and he was drunk. Make sure that they tell him that they won't let their children go through that. Maybe if he's faced with the choice between drinking or being a part of his grandchildrens lives, that'll give him the push he needs to quit drinking. Good luck!
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If you haven't already, see this website for advice on how you can help. :)
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Until your husband admits he's has a problem, there's little that you can do. I would suggest you visit the link below or call 1-800-4AL-ANON. They provide information and support for dealing with alcoholism in someone you know. The idea of taping him while drinking so he can see what he's like is also a good idea. Most people are embarassed when they see how they are under the influence.
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Good luck. I hope your husband realizes that he does have a problem and seeks help.
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talk to your husband asap. you guys love eachother and have kids together. i know being an alcoholic means its hard to stop, but you REALLY need to talk to him, especially because of your kids. your kids go by your actions, especially grandkids. you basically need to tell him FOR them. juss talk to him about it. maybe he'll decide to change.
good luck!
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Hmm if arguing over finding bottles doesn't help, then tell him that you need him to stop. Don't take it to the point of something like divorce or anything. Ask him why he drinks behind your back. If its just an addiction then ask him if he'd like to get help for that. If its something else, then work things out. Maybe you could both agree to something such as him drinking only when you are around, and limit it. Like say for example he can only have 3 bottles max, 4 times a week. I don't know if thats too much, but you get the idea. Try and work something where you gradually decrease the amount of beer taken in over a period of time. If you can't get him to drasticlly just drop it [because let's face it, usually addictions are hard to give up like that] then try gradually easing out of it, until he himself realizes he does not need it and lowers his dependence for it.
Sit him down and tell him to do it for the family too. Give him any and all reasons you can think of on why he should stop. No it doesn't have to turn into one big argument either. Maybe he drinks because of problems at work or something. Maybe too much gets to him and the things he thinks about makes him feel bad. If thats the case, which it might be, then find a way to get through to him to help get rid of his problems, that way he would no longer need to depend on beer and such. Just talking about it is usually good way to start off if you can't find solutions right away. Good luck.
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It is nearly impossible to help someone who doesn't realize they have a problem. The sad fact is your husband must choose to change; you can't make him, no matter how right you are.
Talk to your children and your close friends. Urge them to share their experiences of your husbands drinking in a non-judgmental way with him. It can have a very powerful impact to change your statements from "You shouldn't be drinking" to "I feel frightened of you when you are drunk" or "I lay awake and worry about you because of your drinking"
Then get yourself some professional help, even if your husband won’t attend counseling with you. A counselor will be able to give you better advice on how to approach your husband and help you deal with your feelings about the drinking. This situation, especially having lasted as long as it has, has certainly had a profound impact on you. Lead by example and take care of your mental health.
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I don't know if this will help in your particular situation but...
My mother is an alcoholic, and when I was growing up with her, I hated it when she would drink. It was like having a stranger in the house when she drank, but she didn't think she acted any differently.
One night (I was probably 14 or 15 at the time) she was drinking, and I had an idea... I plugged the microphone into our stereo system, put a blank cassette into the cassette player, and started recording... Then carried on a conversation with mother.
Then amazingly, we had unexpected company (I've always thought he was sent by God), and I let this person know what I was doing. So we both asked her general questions like "What's your favorite thing about so-and-so" etc... She gave some answers that were completely whacked out and some that were just horribly embarrassing for her.
So, the next day, I told her that if she thinks she doesn't act different when she is drinking, she needs to listed to this tape. She listened to it, and she was mortified. Especially since the guest was there and witnessed it. She honestly had no idea she acted any differently whatsoever, and thought I was just being unreasonable when I told her I hated it when she drank.
She stopped drinking for many years after that. She only started again when I got married and moved out. But there's only so much a person can do. *shrugs*
Anyway, a modern version of that idea would be to use a video camera, or borrow one, and video tape him when he's drunk. Then show it to him when he's sober. Maybe it will wake him up.
You also may want to consider marriage counseling. AA may come later, but he has to actually have at least some desire to stop before he would go to AA meetings.
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Go for professional help and convince your husband to go to a rehabilation center. Your husband needs all your help and support.Speak to him try not to argue keep insisting he'll have to listen if he loves you or do it for his kids at least because you're children might get hurt or get bad influence do it as soon as possible he could die if he keeps drinking throw out his bottles if he askes you why tell him you care about him thats why and especially for the kids who will strongly be affected of this terrifying situation.Take care!
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