I guess you could say I love giving advice -
I'm an older sister, a tutor and a psych freak to boot! I always try to be honest and sincere. My school motto was "do unto others as you wish them to do unto you" and I really take that to heart. Any questions I'm capable of answering (love, relationships, general problems, cultural stuff about Thailand, bicultural issues, etc.), I will answer.
Gender: Female
Location: Bangkok, Thailand
Occupation: Graduate student
Age: 22
Member Since: July 11, 2005
Answers: 67
Last Update: June 6, 2008
Visitors: 8481
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18,female.
well i have only had sex twice in my life and i want to have sex more but im scared because im afraid a guys penis might be to big and hurt me or i wont be that good in bed i dont know what i should do. im kinda scared. so please help me..
(link)
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Why do you want to have sex if you're scared? I think that's a sign in and of itself. Maybe you should wait awhile more and see if you really, truly want to have sex...or if you're just using it for something else. Are you having any other problems in your life? Friends? Family? School? Fear is something evolutionary. It's a warning system. It keeps us out of trouble. Your fears about sex might be trying to tell you something. In the meantime, you might want to try masturbation. It can help you find out more about yourself as a sexual being, without any of the worries you'd have with actual sex.
Take care.
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16/f, i wanna kno how i could masterbate, like how do u do it? (link)
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Masturbation is a pretty personal thing. There's no handy manual that you can consult. That being said, there are plenty of websites you can consult that discuss the matter in a mature way. No doubt you'll gain some insight from them. As a woman, pleasuring yourself is slightly different than how a man would proceed. Usually though, it involves stimulation (through any means, manual or otherwise) of the clitoris, the small bud of flesh that is analogous to the tip of the male sex organ. It helps if you have lubrication, so you might want to relax yourself first and arouse yourself in whatever manner works for you. Remember to take it slow at first and build up speed. Stop if you feel uncomfortable (you don't have anyone to please but yourself!) and work with does feel comforting. It's healthy expression of your sexuality and helps you discover what works for you sexually.
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So i gave my boyfriend a handjob and i got cum on my fingers but i washed it off and about 40 mins. later i masterbated and i got my period 4 days later and i read that even if you get your period you could still b pregant? do you think i am? (link)
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Highly unlikely, given the washing and time between you getting his semen on your fingers and your masturbation time and the onset of your period. The sperm probably all died.
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How do you tell if you still love a person?
AND
How do you tell that you don't love a person anymore? (link)
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Whoa, this is a toughie. It's hard to answer without getting all gushy, so I'll try my best. I think it's pretty unique to each person how he or she knows they're in love. In my opinion, it's a lot like a disease, only it's like no disease you've ever had. You have physical symptoms - maybe you can't eat, or sleep, you sweat, your heart races, you might even feel sick to your stomach in their presence. You think about them constantly, want to know what they're doing all the time and want to be with them, even if they're just doing their homework or mowing the lawn or whatever. I say it's love when even if they hurt you and abuse you and call you names, you can stil forgive them. They are the beginning, middle and end for you. That's when you're in love. And when you don't love someone? Well, you could care less about them, that simple. Hope this helped.
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My best friend is really pretty and always gets guys. Yesterday me & here were hanging out with 3 guys and one of them liked her and had his arm around her and the other one was pretty much all over her and sent her a message on myspace that night that said, "Youre really pretty. We should hang out soon - you me and dave." And he totally didnt include me. I asked her if I seemed weird/annoying because I usually act ditzy around guys and she said that I did great and that I was not ditzy at ALL. If I was so good, why arent these guys giving me the time of day?? I know Im a really jealous person and Ive already talked to my mom and best friend about how I feel about the situation. What do I do :( Ive never had a boyfriend and its starting to bother me because every guy likes my best friend.. (link)
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My best friend is a model - honest-to-God. She's a smart, funny, kind, sweet, statuesque classic beauty who has literally turned heads a million times. Me? I'm a cruel, vindictive, non-intelligent, corny, mean, short, fat dumpling of a girl who's always in a foul mood. Everywhere we go, I'm pretty much in the background. I've never even had a boy LOOK at me, even when she wasn't around. Yet, it doesn't faze me. I know that sounds like a line, but it's true - I just don't care and never did care, coz you know what? There must be something okay about me if I still have her a best friend. Guys come in all styles - some will be attracted to looks, some to brains, some to both, some to other things. There's no *one* thing that will do it for each and every guy - your problem is, you've only met guys who are attracted to your friend. Trust me, there will be guys who are attracted to your brand of personality. It's all right to be jealous, but what I really think you're feeling is insecurity. You're thinking that what you are isn't good enough - and that's just not true. Did you ever think that perhaps guys who are drawn to you wouldn't be drawn to your best friend? Vice versa then. You can be bothered, you can be jealous - and it's hard, but DON'T let it bother you. One day soon, a great guy will come along who only has eyes for you. He won't give a care about any other girl. Just think of it this way: a lot of people like chocolate ice cream, but not every single human being on earth, just a lot. There will be some people who like licorice and you're licorice. Give it time and in the meanwhile, be thankful you have such a caring friend. Such a great friendship is not something to take lightly. Cherish it; it's worth more than ANY guy.
No problem, glad to have been of help. :)
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well, my girlfriend is not very romantic, i am and i try to be but i can never get her to be romantic what i can do..please help (link)
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Wel, I understand where you're coming from. It sucks to be a certain way and hope that your significant other will be the same way, but unfortunately, that's not always the case. Do you love her? If you love her, then first of all, you have to see that that's who she is and she may not be able to change. Having said that, a relationship is a two-way street. It's about give and take. My advice would be to just mention casually a few times, at a good time (like after watching something romantic), "Gee, that was romantic." If she agrees, then you might follow with, "It'd be great if that kinda stuff happened in real life." Then you could do something romantic for her, like say in the next few days. Tell her it's because you were inspired, that you care about her and you feel this is a good way to tell her. This way, you're not attacking her; you're making quite clear that this is something you like and she ought to be able to pick up on this and respond in kind or at least, she'll say something to make you understand why she can't be as romantic as you. Good luck and remember - don't expect too much and you'll be pleasantly surprised.
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I know this is going to sound weird but what is the actuall birds and the bees story, like how does it get told?
Thanks :) (link)
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The "birds and the bees" is just a polite way of saying "the sex talk". I'm not sure of its exact origins, but I'm guessing it has to do with the fact that sex is one of the few common denominators among all animals. Basically, telling someone about the birds and the bees is educating them about sex and pregnancy and all that stuff that goes along with it. As for how to tell someone about sex - well, that depends on an individual's style. My parents were very upfront about it all and added that it should most preferably be done with someone I cared about and safely (i.e. with birth control). They didn't say anything about actual birds and bees, though.
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Does anyone know any good websites where I could learn Italian? (link)
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Italian - a truly beautiful language. When I have time, I was thinking of learning it, too. There are a lot of great resources online. The best one by far, in my opinion, is http://www.bbc.co.uk/languages/italian/ Their Italian Steps is phenomenonal. I also subscribe to Italian Word a Day from Transparent.com There is a wealth of information online; just Google "learn Italian" as a start. Hope this was helpful. Ciao.
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where do i put my hands when im making out with a guy? like if were sitting down or laying or something? (link)
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That depends on your own comfort, as well. Would you be okay cupping his face? Or putting your hands behind his neck, in a light hold? Or you could you put them on his arms? Just go with what works for you - believe me, he won't be worrying about where your hands are at that point. If al else fails, just put them in his hair. Good luck.
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What are the odds somebody gets pregnant if you use a condom and shes on birth control? (link)
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Significantly lowered, but not 0%. Always be careful.
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what does SNM mean? my friends boyfriend used to say it alot and i have no clue what it means. (link)
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I think he meant "S & M", which is the abbreviation for the practice known as sadomasochism. It is where sexual pleasure is derived from pain - either inflicting it or enduring it. It is part of the wider scope known as "BDSM", alternative sexual lifestyles.
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what exactly is an orgasm and how do you know when you are having one? also are they hard to get or do they come easily during sex? (link)
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An orgasm is the pinnacle of sexual activity and is the ultimate release of tension accumulated during the sex act. If people are to be believed, you'll *know* when you're having one, it's a bit hard to mistake. Your body will feel a massive release. And as for if they're hard to get, it depends on if you're male or female. For men, it's relatively easy. For a woman, though, it's slightly harder and takes a bit more work and effort. Researchers have speculated that vaginal stimulation alone is insufficient for a female orgasm (although that's not true in all cases) and that stimulating the clitoris (a small bud-like organ analogous to the tip of the male organ) is needed for orgasm. Also, it has been found that people who masturbate more often orgasm more easily - a case of practice making perfect.
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I want to save myself for my wedding night. Is this generaly considered weird? At school people think its really strange and generally make fun of me for it if it comes up in conversation at all. I mean, its not something I go aorund shouting, but if someone asks what I think about sex before marriage because I'm a Christian, I will tell the truth. My friends were amazed that I went out with a guy I was completely in love with for 9 months and didnt have sex with him.
Is it that strange? And is it possible to save yourself for marriage? I've heard that it gets harder to wait as you get older, and it wasn't easy in my last relationship. (link)
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with saving yourself for your wedding night - in fact, there are more pros and cons (you won't ever have to worry about getting pregnant accidentally, for instance). Whether it's weird or not, who knows what's weird anymore? Fifty years ago it was weird *not* to wait. Don't pay too much attention to people who tease you; your sexuality is your own and yours to do with as you see fit. It *is* possible to save yourself for marriage, although I will admit to you that it is not an easy thing. We're wired for sex, and it's only because we're part of a society that we don't go around doing it all the time. There will be times when you really feel like giving in, when some guy is so amazingly hot, you just want to surrender. However, having said that, we are *not* animals and therefore, we are masters of our emotions. Stay strong and stay true to your convictions and your wedding night will be a wonderful event. Good luck and take care.
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My cousin has been masturbating since she was 3 years old. Is that normal? She is 17 now. (link)
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It's perfectly natural. Children often touch themselves from an early age. It's very innocent, and mostly done out of curiousity more than anything else.
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i dont know but i alwayz wantt 2 hav sex its lk i cant controll myself or somethin i think & talk abuot it all da time even when i know i shouldnt lk wit guy friends or somethin do u think i hav problem? (link)
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No, I don't think you have a problem. It's perfectly natural to think about sex - it's part of our biological evolution, it's how we didn't die off like other related species. However, our psychological and social evolution has made it so that we believe there must be certain limits on sexuality. You say you always "want" it - do you give into these desires? If you do, you have to seriously examine your life. Is there something else going on that you're trying to avoid by acting out physically? If you just think and talk about it, that's okay. However, you might be sending the wrong message to people, especially guy friends. Are you perhaps enamored with any one of them? Is that why you feel like sharing all this information? It's perfectly natural to want to share intimate details with someone we're attracted to, but I'm sorry to say, it's better if you stop. There's a healthy amount to share and there's an unhealthy amount, and I think you've reached that divide. Examine your feelings. Sometimes, sex isn't always sex. And by all means, don't just go out and engage in meaningless intercourse! Also, a small side note, bot to be rude or anything - you might want to consult a dictionary on the accepted spelling of things, and some grammar books, too. This "chatspeak" is easy to type, but hard to figure out. Good luck.
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Iam an 18/f and i've been dating this guys for a couple of months and he asked me if I was a virgin and I said yes and he said he loved doing it with girls who wasn't experinced and I told him I would do it with him becouse I figured that was what he wanted.why would he want a girl who is unexperienced with sex? (link)
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I know a lot of people don't think so nowadays, but your virginity *is* a big deal. You should save it to give to someone special - not just some guy you "figure" wants it and for what? Some guys get off on 'going where no man has gone before'. I don't think anyone just wants to be another conquest, another notch in someone's belt and that's what it sounds like he wants to me. Sex is the closest, most intimate thing you could ever do with another person. Don't let your first time be cheapened by a virgin-hunting jerk. Sorry to be so direct, but it sounds like you're being quite cavalier about it and I think that will be a regret later. Find a guy you love, who loves you back, if you really want to have sex. If not, just wait. Good luck.
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okay, i have red dots on my boobs going on i dont know if it is zits or not:s it might be cause of the weather but do you know what i can use to make it go away?
or hwta should i do everyday?
please help. i dont want it, i dont like it
I'm 13, girl lol..live in Cananda.. (link)
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My guess would be that the skin in that area is very dry...so yes, it is probably weather-related. You didn't mention any other symptoms, such as flaking skin or itchiness, so it's most likely dry skin. All you'll need to do is moisturize it (make sure you buy one you're not allergic to). Just in case, I would also change my detergent and soap to see if any of them are causing a problem. Could be an allergic reaction to the soap used to wash your lingerie or your skin. Take care.
Addendum: Moisturizer is usually used after you've showered and dried off. I would say follow the directions on the label, but most brands, it works like a lotion, just pour a dollop and work into the skin. Good luck.
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My best friend, "Chelsea", and I dated briefly a few months back. It ended after a few weeks because I'm a lesbian and out, and she's not out and was afraid to be. Despite everything, I still think about her constantly, and I really care about her alot. I've told her this which resulted in a response of just silence.
Lately, she's said somethings that make me feel as though she might still like me. For example, saying I love you which is out of character for her. But also, when we get around other people or around each other.. she always makes sure that we aren't alone and that she can avoid me if need be.
I'm not sure what to do. I've tried talking to her about it but she wont respond.
Thanks,
Samantha (17) (link)
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First of all, I have to say that your friend Chelsea is, more than anything, confused. At this point, I would guess she doesn't who she is or what she wants. Don't take it personally, but it's not about you - right now, it's all about her. You're out, like you said, and that's great, but she doesn't know where she stands right now, and that's the only thing she's occupied with. One minute she wants something, the next minute, who knows? I think the best thing now, the most productive thing, is to give her space, but tell her you're there to listen and understand and support. It's hard to put your feelings aside, but for the moment, that's what you have to do. There's really nothing you can do to make her talk about it - to force her would be a mistake and could be damaging to your friendship. Give her some time. She'll come around and then, you two can seriously discuss your relationship. Best of luck.
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my boyfriend james raped me a month ago and I think I may be pregnant and my mom will kick me out even if I was raped she's the type of person who thinks I could have done something about it I told my mom he raped me and she asked me how I could be so stupid to let something like that happen what should I do,Iam only 17 and my boyfriend is 19. (link)
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Rape is a crime. Forget about everything for now except that you are the victim of a crime and your boyfriend is a criminal. It may have happened a month ago, but it is still a crime. Go to the police. File a police report. They will take you to be examined and you can find out if you are pregnant or not. I don't know your mother and I cannot guess her reaction, but what you should be worried about is you! Let the police and social services handle the rest. Go and get help, don't wait any longer. Don't be scared. It was not your fault and don't let anyone, ANYONE, tell you different. Rape may not be a crime like a mugging or a shooting, but it IS a crime. Go to the police. Take care of yourself if no one will.
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I am usually very slow at verbal comebacks. People tend to take advantage of that. My so called friends.... the ones that are like "hi-hello" kind of friends... often would find ways.. to diss me kind of. they think it's funny how i flutter around searching for a way to think of a come back. At first I'd laugh it off but after a while it really gets on ur nerves. I really wanna think faster when it comes to comebacks because I often think of a better come back like after I get home and think it over. Teach me how to!! (link)
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Don't laugh it off. That will seem to them that you can handle it, that it's okay. It's not okay. There's probably no way to "teach" you how to give a good comeback, as it's all about practice and timing, but one way I would suggest would be to look up good insults (like from historical figures) on the internet and memorize a few that you think you can remember and use in many situations. That will help if you can't really think of anything original at the time. Also, you say you think of good comebacks when you get home - write them down! These people don't sound overly creative, so it's likely they'll recycle their disses, so you can use those comebacks again. And the best way to answer any diss if you're really hard-hit is a catchall phrase such as, "I won't even dignify that with a response" or "If you're so clever, why can't you fix that {insert one of their faults, such as ugly nose or failing geometry class} of yours" or my personal favorite, "My grandmother could come up with better". These will buy you some time if you're unable to think up one right away, but practice, practice, practice is the key. At home, imagine scenarios and think of what they might say and respond to them. Write down or memorize the ones you think are particularly good comebacks and you'll have a bunch ready whatever the occasion. Good luck!
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