My fiancee wants to have sex, and the bad thing is, IM SCARED OF SEX. I am almost positive my hymen is intact, because I don't masturbate, im a virgin,and I detest tampons. Any suggestions?? And since I know were getting married in August, don't tell me to wait, because he's talking about sex on our wedding night, and since I've already told him Im scared, he still wants it, wich I don't blame him, were both virgins, we both dont have diseases of any kind, and after all, IT IS OUR WEDDING NIGHT, so its not furnication (since were both Christians) so please help me, because I'm scared of the blood and the pain. Btw, is it true that when you pee after sex it hurts? My mother said it hurts the first couple times you have sex, and that you bleed, and it hurts, and it burns when you pee for weeks. Is any of this true? Plz help me.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category? Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions? xxLaraxx answered Monday March 12 2007, 10:02 am: Sex is not scary!! Honestly! I was absolutley petrified...but my boyfriend promised me he would go as slow as I asked, and stop n start when i said i was comfortable....and he did and it was fine....yes it did hurt slightly...but it was not really painful, just uncomfortable...but this is just my experience remember eveyone is different. We carried on doing it very slowly and not for very long for about 5 times....each time I found I was more relaxed and within 3 weeks I couldnt think why I was so scared....it really is not as bad as you expect as long as ur fiancee listens to you. [ xxLaraxx's advice column | Ask xxLaraxx A Question ]
IveGotPinkJazzShoes answered Thursday July 28 2005, 3:19 pm: dont be scared of it! i mean its natural so just relax. yes its true it will hurt a little becuase you are so tight being a virgin and all because nothing has been up your vagina so when he does penitrate you and you skin streatches then it will feel a little uncomfortable but this will only be for the first few times. this feeling may last a few days but it is nothing bad. and you may bleed a little,some people do and some dont. this is just because you hymen has been broken but this is nothing to worry about either. the worst case is tht you will spot for a few days.
the first time you pee after you've had sex for the first time it may hurt a little its just feels more uncomfortable than actual pain itself. and no it wont last for weeks!
by the way congratulations on the wedding and i think its really good you've both decided to wait until you were married!
remember relax! its natural! the more tense you are, the tighter you are and the more it will hurt!
hope i helped! [ IveGotPinkJazzShoes's advice column | Ask IveGotPinkJazzShoes A Question ]
baby_girl33 answered Tuesday July 26 2005, 5:09 pm: WARNING: THIS IS NOT AN ANSWER!
You are so awesome! Waiting til You get married!!
x0blu3eyedbeautyx0 answered Thursday July 21 2005, 10:06 pm: First off i give you props on waiting so long 2 do it..everybody scared their frist time..yes its most likely gonna hurt the first time beacuse your vagina is still tight from having nothing in it so it hurts when he stretches your skin and it will hurt when he pops your cherry which will cause a tiny bit of blood nothing big...dotn worry it's not unbearable pain! Ofcourse you are not gonna have pain when you pee fro 2 weeks..its rare but its possibel for it to hurt the first time you pee right after you lose your virginity but honestly i think you're mother used that as an excuse for why you shoudn't have sex! lol! well hope i helped..x0x *caitie* [ x0blu3eyedbeautyx0's advice column | Ask x0blu3eyedbeautyx0 A Question ]
ThugGirl041790 answered Thursday July 21 2005, 8:47 pm: i think your mom is trippin not to be mean.. well yes the first couple times might be a lil uncomfortable but its not like pain you'll cry over..**but i guess it depends on how you handle pain** in my opinion i think you'll be fine.. even if you havent masterbated used tampons i would think it still would hurt that bad hun.. yes you might bleed a **LITTLE BIT** but your not going to be gushin with blood comin out of you.. and having sex with him on your wedding night is a good thing to do it would be romantic.. i suggest you make sure he goes slow with you.. of course he will tho he loves you.. ive never heard anybody tell me that it burns when they pee after having sex but i guess some people can be different.. hope i helped and if you need anymore advice ask.. ♥ Dez [ ThugGirl041790's advice column | Ask ThugGirl041790 A Question ]
cookierat123 answered Thursday July 21 2005, 1:53 am: alright. you love this guy right? well, i hope you do, bc your geting married. but anyways, my sister is not a virgin and she says all the pain is worth the pleaser. and if you love him then once your married he should be worth all of the pain. think about who your with when you have sex...not the pain. hope i helped ♥ leah [ cookierat123's advice column | Ask cookierat123 A Question ]
xdinGyxbaBex answered Wednesday July 20 2005, 11:54 pm: Make him understand that you want to wait until you feel comfortable to do it and if he really loves you then he will wait .. I dont think that the stuff that your mother told was really true but i dont really kno about it hurting when you use the bathroom but you wont kno until it happens becoz some people could be different .. Hope i helped !!
kaitlyn jO* [ xdinGyxbaBex's advice column | Ask xdinGyxbaBex A Question ]
ncblondie answered Wednesday July 20 2005, 5:50 pm: First off, don't worry it's completely natural to be nervous about sex for the first time. Some women do have pain or bleeding when they lose their virginity while others don't. A lot depends on how relaxed and "excited" you are and how slow and gentle the guy takes it.
Talk to your fiance and let him know that you are nervous and would like to take it slow. Taking the time to touch each other and "play" a little will help calm you and relax your body. Making sure you're well lubricated (either from your own wetness or some KY) will make it easier for him to get in.
DO NOT let him push all the way in at once or it will most likely hurt. Have him go slow, only an inch at a time to give your body time to relax and get used to his size. If he plays with your clitoris (If you don't know, drop a question in my inbox and I'll be glad to explain.) or breasts or even kisses you, it will help distract you a little from what's going on down below. If you take it slow, you will probably be asking him for more before long. Once you've taken all of him, make sure he does slow strokes until you're comfortable with a faster pace then let him know it's ok to go faster.
Some women find it easier to be on top (cowgirl position-just straddle him and slide down on him) since it allows them to control the depth and speed in which they take the guy.
karenR answered Wednesday July 20 2005, 5:21 pm: Oh my, why would your mom tell you that? It is not true.
The blood is not a large amount. It may hurt a little the first time but it isn't a major pain or anything. It isn't a constant hurt either its more like a little twinge and then it stops. Nothing to worry about. The next time you have sex...even if it is the same day it won't hurt. I suppose there are rare cases of someone having an extra tough hymen that may hurt worse but it would be very rare. The only time it hurts to pee is if you have a urinary tract infection or something like that. Sex does not make it hurt to pee. Go out and have a nice dinner, have sex and don't worry about it anymore. I hate to say get it over with but, after the first time your fears will go away. Sounds like you have been hearing horror stories...they effectively kept you from having sex up until now but they are untrue. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. :) [ karenR's advice column | Ask karenR A Question ]
xxxxxx answered Wednesday July 20 2005, 4:59 pm: Not all women feel pain during their first time, but most women also masturbate with object or use tampons. Alot of times, when a man knows his partner is a virgin, he'll penetrate her using his fingers. It loosens you up so it doesn't hurt as bad as the penis. You most likely won't BLEED, it could just stretch and not tear. You could use an object to stick up there a few times a week so youre not as tight during your first experience. Good luck and God bless! [ xxxxxx's advice column | Ask xxxxxx A Question ]
DrJenny answered Wednesday July 20 2005, 4:41 pm: I'm sorry you are feeling so anxious about sexual intercourse. Not all females feel pain at all during their first experience, this is something that is all too often over exagerated. Occasionally the hymen may be thicker that it ought to be in which case all that you would feel would be a slight sharp twinge for a moment, nothing more.
As for bleeding, expect to see an odd spot or two, again, this has been over exagerated.
Passing urine following sex should NOT cause pain.
During sexual pleasure your vulva becomes swollen and if you feel the need to pee immediately following sex, you may find it slighter harder to begin the flow and no more than that.
So, please try to put your mind at ease and look forward to your wedding day.
I wish you both all the luck in the world. [ DrJenny's advice column | Ask DrJenny A Question ]
CFWLOVESYOU answered Wednesday July 20 2005, 4:41 pm: NOW JUSS BE LIKE. I DONT WANT TO! IF YOU LOVE ME THEN YOU WILL WAIT TILL I FEEL RIGHT. if you want kids... sooner or later you will have to try it. or adopt! but i think its apart of life. <3 do it when you feel right! GOOD DESISION of doin it after ur married tho. thats what im doing. hope i helped [ CFWLOVESYOU's advice column | Ask CFWLOVESYOU A Question ]
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