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my friend
Ok well the guy I kinda like I just found out has a girlfriend aww i know im sad... I cant get him out of mind, i have a myspace and hes one of my friends on it cause we go to school together and stuff i mean i didnt just meat him or anything and I use to like always look at his sight and leave him friendly comments and stuff but now the picture thats his main is of him and his girfriend kissing... I respect him and respect the fact that he has a girlfriend and all that cause were good friends and Im happy for him i just want to try to think of him as a really good friend and not get sad when i see thier picture... any advide please help...
signed I respect the man
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
My opinion is that for now you should move on and stay friends with him. There is the possiblity that you and this guy are just meant to be friends. But who knows what can happen. Remember this, there is someone out there that you are meant to be with but you just haven't met him yet. Also, he kind of has a right to put up anything he wants for his main picture even if it is a picture of him and his girlfriend kissing. Cause itz not like you should tell him take to take his main picture down. But I have to give ya kudos for respecting his relationship with his girlfriend and that you're not trying to break them up or anything like that. If you want to be with him then you should forget about him for now cause there can be other guys that are better than him and then if he becomes single you can make your move. I know that it is hard to get over a guy and that it sometimes takes a while but eventually you will get over him. ♥ Peachgirly
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This happend to me only it was my ex but we were still realy good friends and its hard to see some one you love, love some one els its just natural for you to do that. If i was you i would wate till he brakes up with this girl then try to give him big hints that you like him. I mean most guys and girls are not going to be togethere that long in this day in age. I no how u feel its alright. If you want to im me just im kylebud23@aol.com! sorry i could not help you with how to not think about him. b/c i have not found that one out yet. but i would be happy to try and help you out with it if you im me!
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Stop looking at the picture. You should also tell him how you feel, because you never know, he might like you, and is just going out with her because he is lonely.
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Just keep doing what you were doing, be his friend, and be there for him... I think the best advice I have for this one is just to tough it out, you'll stop feeling sad after awhile, I can't promise it'll be easy, but it will get better. If things should happen to not work out between the two of them, having maintained your calm and composer will show him that you respect him and his decisions... I hope that helps some
luck!
Frost
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Hey. First off, I want to tell you I am sorry to hear about your situation. Millions of people, male and female, begin to like their best friends every day, I know, I've been there. To know that they are happily in a relationship is the sadest news anyone can get, short of the death or terminal illness of a loved one. It never gets easier to receive that sort of news, and it gets harder to consider them as only a friend once you like them. Crossing the friend/crush border is a VERY perilous step, one that has ruined friendships and crushed dreams. Is it possible that your friend knew you had a crush on him, and that the picture could be a subtle warning sign, warning you to not like him? I know that sounds stupid, but consider the following. You two are really good friends, so one would infer that you can maybe read each other's emotions. Perhaps he read into the fact that you like him, and thus tried to give you a small indicator that he has feelings for someone else. Or, on the other tangent, maybe he is a typical guy (and guys, lets fess up) and is blind to the fact that you like him. Perhaps he put the picture up to highlight the addition to his life, without realizing your feelings for him.
My best advice is this. The pain can be a subliminal thing, something that is in your subconcious, therefore something you won't be able to quiet easily. So, instead of trying to block the pain and the sadness, acknowledge the fact that they are just boyfriend and girlfriend. They are not engaged, and their is a high likelyhood (based on age, seriousness of the relationship, etc.) that they will not be permenant fixtures in each other's lives. Realize that just because that just because you are out of THIS round does not mean that you have lost the fight. You may have your chance with him yet, but the only way to get there is patience. Dont do something extreme, like tell him how you feel. That can only complicate the situation to a degree that is only imaginable.
Let's go the other way, a.k.a. you don't want to have feelings for him anymore. This is a much more difficult road, in many respects. Once you have feelings for a friend, it is difficult to see them without those feelings bubbling to the top. With our friends, our mind automatically is at ease, thus we are more prone to trust our friends with our life, both physically and emotionally. Our friends are often closely tied to how we feel, thus we tie ourselves to people who make us feel good inside. With male and female friends, it is easy to fall into the pit of liking each other. My advice would be this: think about WHY you like this friend. Consider what draws you to him, and from this, determine what type of guy he is. Then, instead of trying to focus on him, find other guys like him, similar in personality, and try building relationships there. The only way to beat a crush is to find a better crush, or to let your crush hurt you, something that is NOT advisable. Good luck with your friend, no matter what happens. Don't worry, just because he has a girlfriend now doesn't mean he can't think you the best girl in the world later.
Best Wishes, Jordan
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Well, I went through this problem a few years ago.
A really really close friend of mine, we were so close to becoming more than friends, but he was really weird about it. Then one day, he is all in love with a girl that I was also really good friends with. The only thing I could do was be the better person. I could have been vindictive and not hook them up, but I deicded to anyway.
Their relationship didn't work out. But this guy and me, we became close again years later. Just before he was to leave for college 400 miles away. So we didn't advance our relationship. But, at the end of his freshman year, he decided to not go back the next year. We were still close. Then one day, I find out he has a girlfriend. With the same name as me!! HAHA! He starts asking me for sex advice, and love advice and everything else. Because this was his first serious relationship. I'm sure you can imagine how painful this was for me.
But I had to just push the idea of us being like that out of my head. I gave him the best advice I could to all his questions. And I sat back and watched him fall in love with this girl. Heartbroken I just dealt with it.
The only advice I can give you is to let time ride it out. One day you will stop feeling the way you do about him. But until you do, then maybe the best thing you can do for yourself is put distance between you and him. That will at least make the pain easier for you.
Also, you can try telling him how you feel. I know you respect the fact that he has a girlfriend, but you it could give you closure, or something better if you are honest to yourself and honest to him about your feelings.
I hope this helps and I hope you feel better soon.
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if yull are best friends than you should be happy for him i know you like him but there are other guys out there for you if you get involed with another guy than yull thnk as that kid you liked as a friend im sorry if i coulnt help you that great on this on it kind of stomped well ne ways i hope i helped
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Why would you say NO to my answer? I think I gave a pretty good one..But oh well-thats what I get for helping.
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All things pass with time. its mature that you want to still be friends with him, sometimes that can be harder then just forgetting him. Any crush will eventually fade with time. In the mean time, keep your mind preoccupied so that you dont have time to think about it. Watch TV, read a book, do yoga, or call friends and see movies. The fact that you are still single only opens up more chances to do incredibly fun stuff with your friends or just by yourself. You are free to flirt with the cute guy you run into anywhere and not feel bad about it. You can have long girl night outs where you look through your yearbook and rate all the guys while you paint each other's toe nails. Remember that one day you will meet a totally goregeous guy who will love you truely and deeply for everything that you are. But dont throw urself at anyother guys either- take time to let it pass. After a while it wont hurt anymore to see him with a girl. it wont even matter. Be happy for him, but you know that he missed out. His loss. There are other fishes in the sea though, so dont grieve too long!
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To start, just because he has a girlfriend now, it doesn't mean he'll always have one. An age would have been useful, especially if there's an age gap between you and the guy.
I don't know how close a friend you are of his, so it's difficult to answer your question, but I'll give you something a little more general...
It seems pretty clear that you wanted to be this guy's girlfriend, but you were never close enough, or you didn't have the courage to ask him out. You might get a chance in a while, but let's focus on now.
You need to get over him, right? Well why did you like him in the first place? Is it so bad only being his friend? If you find yourself resenting his girlfriend, then try and find a chance to meet her. She might turn out to be really nice, and then you won't feel as bad. If she turns out to be really mean then you have motivation to steal him away from her with your innocent charm 0=) and you can hate her in the meantime.
Other than that, find something to launch yourself into. Physical exercise is a pretty good way to forget about things - do you own a bike? If you're not so up on your subjects at school, read something challenging.
If you want to ask some more specific questions, I'll be happy to answer them, but I'll leave it at that for the moment.
-K
Edit:
You should fish around, there are plenty of guys around that would make you laugh. As for the being able to tell him anything... you can still do that. If he stops listening to you then more fool him. There are more good guys out there, but they might be hard to find. Often enough you'll find that the ones who don't talk much can be the most wonderful ones not only to listen to you, but will respond positively to having somebody to talk to.
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It will take some time before you can think of him as just a friend again. In the meantime you may just have to put some space between you until it doesn't bother you anymore. :)
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Ok I have been in this situation before(except I'm a guy). What you should do is get him out of your head. There are many ways to get him out of your head such as: get a boyfriend of your own or do an activity with friends or family to take your mind off of him and put your mind at a sport or other activity. Another thing is probably that he doesn't know how you feel about him. You don't know what he thinks or is thinking. Try talking to him. It really helps to people know. What's the worst thing that could happen? Nothing that you aren't already assuming he thinks right now. Try it.
Peace Out
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That's very sweet and mature of you. Unlike other girls, they'd try and break them up and get revenge or something. You'll find someone else I'm sure!
I just answered a question (Although the girl was so ungrateful) similar to yours and maybe it'll help you. Here's the link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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hey, i have a sittuation just like yourz goin on right now...... i just try to forget about it but i do keep an open mind for when they brake up!!! you never know what could happen -carter-
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