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Should i?!?!?
I'm scared, i dont know what to do. Should i involve myself into sexual intercourse? Theres this boy, and i've known him for four years.. He has been t here for me through everything. I recently dropped the highschool scene and went for cyberschool.. It was all because of some friends that wern'et being so friendly... And out of all people he dumped his girlfriend because of me and took my side on it. My bestfriend was his girlfriend. I sorta felt bad about it... But then he told me all the stuff she did to him and how she hurt him. She had cheated on him... and she admitted it to us. He has been there through everyhting... We talk all the time and we are each others best friend. We want to take that further but not sex... When it does come up though... Whhich could be at any given time... How should i react? Should i just give it up? I'm scared because i wouldn't know how to telll my mom... Me and her are sooo open with eachother and i tell her EVERYTHING. but what happens when i lose my virginity and need to go to the gyno? We're gonna hangout at his place this Thursday and i get to meet his family... They are soo nice to me on the phone... hope they are in person to... wish me luck...
Please help.
[«3] Just Me
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Well, the best thing is to just tell your mom...and she will probly take you to the gyno and everything...which is really what you are sposed to do before you have sex anyways...!!! Just tell her how you feel, same with him...if you dont want to, dont be afraid to tell him that..and *from experience* dont do it for him...you WILL regret it! but have fun and good luck!!
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If you're not sure, then the answer is no. There is plenty of time later, and it is too easy to end up with problems without rushing into things and regretting it later.
My advice to you would be to promise to yourself that you will not go through with it until after you know you are ready enough; and you always have the option of backing out at the last minute after you make such a decision. Just don't do something just because you think other people think you should.
Take your time if you need to. The amount of time you might need depends on you and your own situation. It may sound trite or cliche, but if he's worth it, he will be willing to wait if you're not ready; there are men who do so even for the women they've married and who are years older than you.
The time to visit the gynocologist is ideally before anything happens sexually, but I can't honestly say it worked that way for me (though I did go before I ever had vaginal intercourse). To be honest, I should have gone sooner anyway, as I was already in my 20s, and every woman 18 and over should go once every few years, even if they are sexually inactive and not on birth control.
It's good that you're being honest about your fears, and that you're thinking about the need to visit the doctor if you do become sexually active. Try to find a way to visit and talk to a medical professional about some of your questions and options before you even seriously consider "losing your virginity"; while it's not what I did, it's what I hope my future daughters will do and sometimes wish I had done.
And even after you do that, don't go through with anything without talking to the guy about it first. Before you get things as complicated as sex can make them, you want to know that you are on similar pages, and that he knows and understands your fears and concerns. You also should have some idea what you might do if birth control failed, for example. And, if he's been sexually active, you'll want to know that he has been tested since his last encounter, just in case.
As for when is the right time, you will have a pretty good idea when that is for you, I'm sure; however, I would advise against acting too quickly on such a decision, allowing time to think about it to avoid a situation in which you were simply carried away by the moment. This is one major aspect of how I handled this sort of question that I feel I got right: the only situation I regretted was a spur of the moment situation in which, luckily, nothing really happened, but it could have had I not come to my senses; other than that one situation, I have no regrets, even though I didn't wait until marriage and my first intimate physical encounters were in a relationship I knew was doomed.
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dont do it. its OBVIOUSLY not the right time.
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The time to go to the gyno is before and not after sex. If you feel your relationship will go that far then you need to get on birth control.
Maybe you should be talking to mom about all this now. Before you have sex. If you have a good relationship I'm sure she will talk it out with you.
If you are scared...you may not be ready for sex anyway. Don't rush into it because he was there for you and you feel you have to. If he is the one for you he'll wait until you're ready for it. :)
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You seems like a girl who is responsible and goes with her inner feelings. If you believe in waiting on sex before marriage then wait...there's plenty of time for that when your married..and if you dont then go with whatever feels comftorable for you..and him..and good luck with his family!! :)
xoxo*london
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First of all... Good luck with his family. I'm sure things will work out just fine. As for the sexual things, that's all up to you and him. If you feel comfortable and ready then talk to him about it. Communication is the most important thing. If you are questioning if you should or shouldn't have sex with him then it is not the right time. That question will keep appearing in your head, should you or shouldn't you, and if you get to the point where nothing is holding you back, and you feel ready and totally comfortable, then take that leap. Just remember that this is a big desicion you are making and it could back fire. If you tell your mom all about what you did she may very well be disappointed in you, but hopefully she won't tell you not to date him anymore. But if you keep it a secret and you go to your gynocologist, they can tell if you have lost your virginity and if you've had sex. And they also have every right to tell your mom too, since she is paying for the visits and you are not 18 or paying for your visits. Good luck with your desicion. ~Sherah
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If you have any doubts about having sex then you should wait until you feel 100% ok about doing it. I lost my virginity to someone who I knew like your friend and he broke up with me and now I can't really talk to him anymore because I still feel hurt about our breakup. Having sex is a big comittment, not just because you're losing your virginity, but because you're bonding with a person in a way you never have before. Please be careful and if you think for one second you shouldn't have sex or aren't ready then stop and wait.
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If sex ever comes up ask him if he loves you....If he says yes and MEANS it then he will wait. If he says yes but still wants to have sex...he doesnt really love you as much as you think he does. He if really loves you he will respect your wish to wait whearas if he doesnt he'll be mean and get frustrated with you; indicating he is using you. I know it hurts...but it could change you forever if he is using you...I dont want to see you get hurt...HOPE I HELPED!! RATE ME!!!
~*~mAdDie~*~
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Before you put yourself in the situation where sex may happen, make sure he knows where you stand and how far you'll go. I think that if you were ready for sex, you wouldn't worry about it so much, so you might want to wait a while. And if you're so open with your mom, she'll more than likely understand. If this isn't the case though, you might want to get someone else to take you to the gyno. I tell my mom almost everything, but I leave some details out. It's normal, she shouldn't expect you to tell her ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
good luck.
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sounds like you feel sorry for him...i say dont do it unless it comes up and its like unevitable. if you are open with your mom, just tel her, use it to your advantage...it will help you. your just now meeting the family? dont do it until you already make a good impression..you dont wanna be known as the chick that comes over for the family picnic and then does stuff right after, u know what i mean? so maybe not right away. oh, you might not want to if your not actually bf n gf..it could lead to some drama. take care, <3
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I think you should wait to have sex until you are very much in love. And think that you may spend the rest of your life with that person. And he should feel the same way. Sex is made more beautiful when two people love each other. When it is your first time, you will need someone who is loving and patient. And someone who will make sure that you enjoy it to. Sometimes young girls do not have orgasms.But boys RARELY have that problem. But if someone loves you, they will take the time with you. This is one reason why sex is sooo much better when you are older. When you are young, it is mostly the boys who enjoy it. The girls enjoy the closeness and the kissing. Love can be beautiful, sex can be awful. And yes you should go to a gyno once you start having sex. And I believe that she/he has to protect your privacy so you can ask questions and ask about birth control.
You know your mom would be disappointed in you if she found out, if you are real close she may even be able to tell. I think you are very nervous about it, and should at least put it off, until you are less nervous. Each month that you wait brings you closer to the age when you will be mature enough to handle sex and all the emotions that go with it, and will also bring you closer to being very responsible about it, and taking precautions to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
I do hope you wait, and I do wish you luck. You are smart to ask about it. I hope that I helped.
Michele
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