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My friends aren't there for me, what should i do?
I'm 14 years old, female and in the 9th grade. I've been sick for 4 1/2 months now, out of school and everything with an illness called colitis which is a disease in your large intestine and causes constant trips to the bathroom...it's embarassing yeah, but it's not like i picked to have this. Anyways, i would have thought being sick would bring me and my friends closer together but really, it ripped us apart. My best friend, or at least thought she was my best friend, completely ditched me 24/7 and said some really mean things to me and she lives right down the street from me and not once outa the 4 months did she come to my house to just visit with me and whenever she needs me, i'm ALWAYS there for her and like i wanna end the friendship cuz she is just a complete b**** like you wouldn't believe but the thing is, its hard to end the friendship as much as i wanna cuz i have so much fun with her. I need advice on what to do!! It's been driving me crazy for months on what to do and i just don't know anymore...:/
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If she wasn't there for you she isn't your best friend. Plain and simple. I think you should at least tell her your feelings before you tell her that it probably can't work.. I mean the base of a best friendship is being there for eachother.. it's like the foundation, and without it nothing can build..
p.s. sorry your sick.. that sounds horrible.
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you need to tel her what is going on because she might be embarrassed of you . Four months is a long time to go w/ out your friend at school. SHe might just be with a new group now. I know this is hard for you but you should find more dedicated friends with a more nice personality.
i know what your feeling so if you need anything just ASKAWAY
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hang with her, and talk to her a BUNCH. if she still does that, ditch her
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Believe it or not, I actually was freaked out when I was a teenager when one of my friends had to be admitted to the hospital for severe depression. I asked about her everyday, but I made no effort to see her because I was scared. This happens to young people who don't know how to deal with how they feel about their friend.
So this is what happened: I admitted to her that I was sorry that I didn't visit, write, or call. I told her I was having a hard time with it. It took a little while, but things got better. I really do think she forgave me (unfortunately I can't ask her now because she died of a heart attack in 2000). The next time she was in the hospital, I made sure to visit.
Here is what I suggest. Tell her that you feel like you have been abandoned. Forgive her. She probably didn't really mean to be so selfish, or she was so worried about you that she felt she needed to distance herself. Be the bigger person and hopefully things will work out.
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People..young ones included, sometimes really don't know what to say to someone who is sick.They feel really uncomfortable around them.
They don't know if they should discuss it with you,They don't know anything about it so it makes them uncomfortable.I say cut her some slack.Things will get back to the way they were soon.
I've worked in medical field so I know about colitis.I hope you are feeling better.:}
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Hun, you really should turn to your friends who are there for you. all the time. it might be hard, I was very sick last year and had to end a friendship, I know it is hard
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Yeah, you don't deserve that. Bein that good to her, when she's not to you, well my darlin, that brings around good karma. Makes you a good person as well...She doesn't seem like a true friend to me, and it's gonna take alot from you, and she'll try to pull a guilt trip on ya, but follow your heart. If you feel you can't be friends with her anymore, then end the friendship. Good luck, and get well soon!
XoXo
Jessie
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talk to her and tell her how you feel.
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Aww, honey, I feel your pain...literally, lol. They can't figure out whether I have crohn's disease or colitis. I can totally sympathize. It sucks. You'll get better though, just hang in there. What med(s) did they put you on? They decided I needed to be on Asocol...>.< Anyway, to the real problem...
If your friend's not there for you and you need her to be, you've gotta talk to her. Call her one day and tell her what's going through your head right now, even about wanting to end the friendship. The answer to most problems is "talk to the person". Point out to her what a bitch she's been, and how you would really have liked her to come visit you, just to make you feel a little better emotionally, like your friends are still there for you, even if she can't make you feel better physically.
But I really would talk to her about it. Don't just end the friendship - find out if you can fix the problem. If it's not fixable, then I would think about ending it.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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