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is five years too long to throw away?
my relationship of 5 years is going down the drain. we have a one and a half year old. today he got upset because he could not find me. he was at work and i went to school to do some papers. when he got off of work he called me a bitch and a whore and he did not believe me that i was at school. i was about to go back to school for class so he hid my makeup, messed up my hair, and threw laundry around the house. then he followed me to school with his bright head lights on. my son was crying and i told my boyfriend to change his diaper and put him to sleep while i go to school cuz he was fussy. his reply was he was not going to do shit. i am stuck as what to do. i do not work much cuz i am a college student. is it ever ok to tolerate this kind of behavior. it is becoming regular. what should i do and how can i do it? i am bad at making decisions, especially the right ones. thanks for listening.
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i know its hard and your are stressed out. youre in school have a baby and barely work. youre a good person and trying to someting with your life you need to get rid of him first becasue thats more stress on you then you already have. hopefully you have a best girl frined that can help you out with you baby but know this all good things come to good people in due time. it seems really hard for you now but you will get over it and through this. good luck
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wow, no one should treat you like that, that is sooo mean of him! I dont know he sounds like he could get violent, and it sounds like things could get bad soon, and he may hurt you or your precous son! and that would be the worst! I dont wanna tell you one way or the other, but i dont think i would let myself stay in that danger, i mean i would be scared. a boyfriend, should always be there for you and always help you and make sure that you're happy! they shouldnt make things worse for you, they should make things easier on you!
well I hope that that helps, if not im sorry!
good luck!
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Okay, you need to get rid of him. It reminds me of my dad. He did stuff like this to my mom. Whatever you do dont stay together for your child. Because that's what my parents did for about 4 yrs. I never want to speak or look at my dad again. And now my brother is getting to the age that he doesnt want to either.
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From what your saying, NO it is not right that you have to tolerate this behavior. Even though you had a long relationship and a son doesnt mean you have to be treated like shit. You should also watch out he doesnt end up physically or emotionally hurting you or your baby. The way you described that one day where he hid your makeup, messed your hair and followed you is really scary. I'd advise you to try to stay away from him maybe even get a restraining order if he keeps this up because eventually he will do something worse. Im sure you can find someone like a friend to help you out with your son and i know you probably dont want your son growing up without a dad but its better than him getting hurt. good luck
xo.melanie
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You are not bad at making decisions..you have a child and are wondering how you will support it and whether you should leave him..for how he treat you.
Thsi guy si bad news...what happens whne he stops being nice..i mean he is stalking you and does nto trust you...he does not take care of HIS child too..and treats you like dirt.
can you move in with your parents until you either get a job or get child support.
But..please PLESE listen to me..do NOT tell him what you are planing..he will FLIP out..ok..make your decision..leave...w/o even giving him a clue...
Ok..i am very worried about you...
you spent 5 years..please give your child a better chance..ok...but BE CAREFUL!!!
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Here's the thing, you have a child. What you WANT is no longer an option if it puts your child in harm's way. Your first resposibility is to him. This relationship is getting progressivly more abusive and your little boy is the one hurting the most. Protect him. Even though you are not married, you can still get child support and daycare expense. This will help until you get your degree and a good job. Check with your state's childcare resources department and see if they have any programs in your area that can help you make a new start. NO, it is not alright in any sense to put up with that kind of behavior in a partner, but as an adult to have the right to try and work things out. You do not however have the right to subject your child to that environment. If you can work things out, it needs to be away from the home. Pull you boy out of it. Much love. Good Luck!
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*Leave him...if hes already to this point its jus going to keep getting worse!I know its hard because you have a child together but when you decided to have sex *&* have that child...you changed your life!Your first priority in life is to put your child first now...*&* that is no good home for a child to be raised in!I would also suggest getting some kind of a restraining order or something...if he'll follow you to school then most likely he'll try to stalk you everywhere you go!
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You shouldn't ever have to tolerate that behavior, you deserve better. You deserve better. You are a mother attending college in order to improve your life, which is an incredible feat, and you deserve respect for that. There's no reason for your partner to know your whereabouts every moment of everyday, and there's certainly no justification for his reaction towards you when he couldn't find you. Attempting to keep you from class by hiding your makeup and other things was an effort to control your actions. Following you with bright headlights was incredibly dangerous and showed a total lack of concern for your safety.
Your partner is being controlling and is beginning to show signs of violent tendencies. This is not a positive relationship for you or your son and it will only become worse over time. You may have noticed that his outbursts have become more frequent as your relationship has gone on and that his actions have become progressively more dangerous and damaging. His abuse will become physical eventually and could result in serious injury for you and your son. His abusive behavior may seem unusual because chances are when he's not being abusive; he's probably an incredibly nice guy. Vastly different personalities are typical of abusive men. The longer your relationship lasts, the less you'll see the nice guy and the more you'll see the unpredictable, abusive person who endangers your safety and that of your son.
The best option for you is to contact an agency in your area designed to assist victims of domestic violence. You can also get help from the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. They can offer you counseling, advice as to how to be safe and help if you decide to leave, including safe shelter. You owe it to yourself and to your son to seek some assistance in protecting your safety. Please make the call.
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You should not ever be treated like that. You are a person and he acts like he owns you and can control you. Talk to your parents about the situation or an adult you trust so you can work out the fine details, but it seems like it's about time to dump him. Especially if it's becomnig regular. You should not be the onyl one taking care of you child, and he should not be following you or hiding any of your things. Find a way to get out of the situation without it being too messy. Find a job that will still aloow you to go to school and take care of your kid. You might have to start putting your kid in some kid of a daycare.
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OMG, talk to him and tell him that you will give him ONE more chance, but if he blows it, your gonna leave him! If he screws up, try to live with a friend nearby or your parents if they are nearby or just get your on apartment... I hoped i helped!! :)
xO Chelsea Ox
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omg. okay, talk to him. give him ONE last chance. if he loses it, that's it. pack up your son, and get out of there. he could really start doing more than just emotional damage. he could attack you, or worse yet, your son. god luck, i hope u get through this safe and emotionially unscarred.
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