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I dont know if I can do this
When I was 17, everything was going great in my life. I had a job, a car, a boyfriend, and family that loved me. But my great life soon turned into a nightmare-I got a phone call, my mom and dad were in the hospital. They were driving when a car had hit them, and they died 3 days later. I'm 20 now, and I take care of my 13 year old sister and 9 year old brother. I have so much stress being a 20 year old parent. Sometimes I just break down and want to die. Of course, that's not an option. I need help, how can I keep up with working full time and taking care of my two siblings. I dont have family that could help me, I'm all on my own! Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.
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Hi,
I am really sorry for the loss of your parents - it must have been such as tragic time for you. However, what you must acknowledge and feel proud of yourself for is the strength that you have to get on with life in the way that you have. Have you ever considered seeking help from Social Services - they could possibly advise you on how to get financial help so that you don't have to work so much.
I imagine the future probably looks very bleak at the moment, however; it will get better. My best friend was in a similar situation to you a few years ago. It was just her and her mum - her parents had divorced when she was a young child. Her mum had suddenly developed a brain haemorrhage and died a few days later. She was then, at 19 years old, left to look after her younger physically disabled brother, whilst at college and working part-time. She had developed depression from this and things didn't look very good for a while. However, 4 years on, she is happy and in a very good job. Through help from Social Services her brother has now managed to get a job and develop independe so that she doesn't have to care for him as much.
You should really seek some help - you should not have to do this on your own. For now, hang in there - once your sister is a little older she will be able to get a job.
I really do have a lot of admiration for you.
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I am so sorry about your loss..wow..you ahve been thorugh more than most of us.
This is so hard..you have to do so much.
But can I tell you how awesome I think you are...instead of breaking up your family..you are keeping them together.
I know you are giving ups so much for your siblings..but you are MY hero today...
Bless you...I would give some more responbility to your sister..and even your 9 year old brother...they can do more choires that will mkae yor life easier....
I wish you had someone to turn too,
but again..i am in awe of you..what you are doing..is so amzing..you are such an amzing person!!
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You need a huge hug and a pat on the back. Not many people would do what you have done. There are organizations out there that can help you. Talk to a local councelor specifically a family councelor. They will help you with money food housing and such things. You might even be elegable for chip wic all of these government programs that are to be used by people like yourself. I hope that ive helped you.
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hunny, i see where your coming from. i'm happy you are taking care of your siblings. i know it can be hard. you could hire like a nanny, but just so she can clean or cook or w/e. if you don't have enough money some skools offer an after school program where they can watch them and help with homework so you do't have2 worry. stay strong. best of luck darlin'
much luv
~*~Natalie~*~
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well i have never had this problem but all i can say is maybe like get a friend of the family 2 help with the 2 siblings like have them come over and check on them in the afternoon and tell the kids 2 start helpin around the house 2 well i hope i helped and if i didnt il try again...let me know how things go....**rate me**
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aww!! *tear* wow i cant even think of being in your position!! well i mean i just need to tell you something... you have a 13 year old sister she is going through hormonal changes and thinks about boy like 247!!! so if i were you i would be tough on her bot so tough that she doesnt have freedom but you dont want her with the wrong group of ppl and have sex and stuff at 13!! set some boundries i mean like you have to b home by 9 and do your homework right when you get home and stuff! you might not have time for all this but at the end they will appriciate it!! she is old enough to babysit rite? so why noy let her babysit with 1 only 1 of her friends (so it wont b a makeout party lol) and teach her how to cook some meals or you can cook b4 u go to work and just have her microwave it for dinner! i mean i no that it is harder than it seems but you have a life also! if you have a boyfriend to work! dont b like oh hey forget you i have a family to take care of! make him help too!! i mean you need to make him go to the market buy stuff you no!! make your brother do stuff also like tydey up the house and stuff!! and to answer you question you are only 20 you have a life it isnt your full respnsiblity to become a mom no one ever asked you to become a parent! so if they want a good life they have to listen to you! they have to understand that you are only 20!! sorry for the long message!! *tear*
HOPE I HELPED!!
~MICHELLE
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Do you live in America? If so, you should be able to get social security for your siblings, and possibly welfare. You are all also eligible for medicare and financial aid for school. I don't like to encourage people to "mooch" off the system, as some call it, but your situation is what social programs are designed for. You need to stop working so much, accept some aid, and get to college. Also, learn from this that when you have children of your own one day, it is extremely important that you have life insurance so they never have to struggle. It's very hard for you now, but know that what you are doing is a beautiful thing, and the sacrifice you are making for your family is one that your siblings will always remember.
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Wow, major props for taking care of them. If I were you I would hire a babysitter to come once a week and watch both children for a few hours so you can have like a "mommy/sister day out". That way you can shop for groceries, pay the bills, do whatever you want, and not have to worry about it. If you know some people around town, ask them if they would be willing to watch the children for however many dollars per hour. Or have a YOU time where you go and get in bed or do whatever for one hour, drink hot cocoa, read, sleep, watch TV, whatever you want to do because that REALLY helps keep stress down. Good luck.
~Laura~
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im so sorry to hear about the loss of your parents. i think u should have your sister help take care of your brother as much as you can. i mean she should be able to more at the age of 13.
sry i didnt help much
~*~kris~*~
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First off, I want to say Sorry, and give you mad props for being such a awesome person and taking care of your sister and brother, it takes a alot for you to do that. I didn't lose my mom growing up but she was never around, though I know that doesn't come close to the trajedy you indured, I to, had to practicaly raise my 2 sisters,{I was 16 at the time} {22 now} It was so hard and times were definately rough. I missed growing up and knowing what is was like to be a teen and do things. But I wouldn't trade that for the closeness that I now have with my sisters. You, have a whole other situation thou...You are only 20 years old, trying to pay all the bills I presume and living on your own. First off go get help from the state, in your situation they will help pay for day care until the 13 year old is legal to babysit her own brother. {not sure about the laws there, but in NC you have to be 14}. Don't give up, I know that's alot easier said than done...You are a wonderful person for doing what you have done so far. You sound like you could really use a friend right now. Know that this will not last forever and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't see it just yet. Hope I have helped in some small way........
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Sorry to hear about your loss. Well while your little siblings are in school, go out and get a job during the day. And maybe if you wanted try and see if a daycare would work out for you for the little bit of time they get out of school while you still have to work. Or maybe get a neighbor or a friend of yours to look after them for a little while. Good Luck
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Well i think that your sister is old enough to help out and babysit adn maybe sometimes you should take a break and do things on your own like go hang out with friends and things when you get the chance. If you sister doesnt already know how to cook then teach her and she cook like 2 or 3 times a week to help you out. Also they are old enough to do their own laundry and you dont need to be doing that. Ive been doing my own since i was about 8 so i think all you need to do is show them what to do and they can do it. I think what would really help you out with the cleaning is you could have a chore day adn have everyone in the house to one or more chores, such as sweep the kitchen, vacuum the living room, or things like that. I hope this helps you out! I'm really sorry about your situation! -Kayla
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Well your sisters 13 so she should be able to help out. Like cook dinner and help with the 9 year old and do laundry! and have a talk with them about how much stress you have and they'll understand! hope i helped! kLg*
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omg first of all i am so srry.... well sit down make some signs say NEED A TRUSTWORTHY BABYSITTER.. make sure u interview them... u know u sister is getting old enough to babysit maybe you can leave some emergency numbers.. or if u dont feel safe doin that try to find some daycare... honestly if I could help you right now i seriously would... plz if u need ne thing just talk to me im here for you
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TO: I dont know if I can do this
im a teen and of course i cant relate to any of that buh heres wat i think you shoold do anyways... of course your schedule is now jam packed buh you hab to at least try and get school squeezed in there (even if its nite school) so you can get a better paying job...im soore your sister can baby-sit your brother for like two hours while your gone to school and then you can prolly take care of the rest... school is a major essential in survival and you reallie need to try...i mean its the effort that counts rite?
***good luck with being a parent and i hope i helped...! ^^
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let me start out by saying how sorry i am for the unfortunate things that have complicated you life, for starters i think it would be good to find a sitter or day care that might be run by the school, so you get some alone time. or some time to get out of the house and leave some responsibilies behind for a little bit. im sure there are many organizations out there that could assist you with the care of your siblings
good luck
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