|
No trust
I just got kicked out of my moms house and i am starting off fresh at my dads. He doesnt trust me and neither does my grandma. I can t talk on the phone without them listening or i cant get on the computer with out them reading my stuff. I cant go anywhere without them spying on me. They dont let me go any where to begin with. I have to sneak on the phoen and the com at night. I ask if they can just ftrust me and they are like no. They dont even know me. My grandma thinks buying me things is going to keep me out of trouble and my dad thinks keeping me from the world is going to keep me out of trouble as well. I need some advice .
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Well, maybe you gave them a reason not to trust you. Try showing them how responsible you are. Do something to show them they can trust you, and i dont think that sneaking on the phone and the cpmouter is gonna help! Just give them a little time to see they can trust you.
]
well i dont know what you did to lose their trust, but if you're really serious about starting over then make it clear to everyone that you want to change. tell them that you're different now and that you can be trusted to do things, even if it just starts out by letting you talk on the phone or talk online. show them that you're responsible now, and that way they'll be happy to let you be more independent. good luck
]
Well then stand up to them, you know tell them that if they can't trust you, you cant trust them neigther.
Try to show them that they can trust you and nothing's going good if they continue butting in to your life, let them know that you have your own life, their part of it, but you have your own and it's yours.
And tell them that we should get to know each other first before butting in to your life.
ask me again if it did'nt work.
okey just relax and tell them how you feel.
]
ughh.. u gotta problem hun! well you must have done SOMETHING to loose their trust right?! RIGHT! so you need to gain their trust back. give them lotsa respct..it will work * trust me!
lemme kno what happens.
]
well prove to them that their wrong! do your homework n get good grades- offer to help them out- do like volunteer work n stuff- get a job- all that stuff.. it'll prove to them that you really are a changed person now and you made a mistake- if you dont want to do that or it doesnt work then i'd just talk to them about it n ask them what you have to do to become a better person in their eyes n gain back their trust!
]
if i were u, id just go with it for awhile...just play along with how they think..then when they see that u are a "perfect lil child"..then SLOWLY start asking them to go out with ur friends...bring ur friends over to the house and introduce them...have them make totallllly good impressions, etc...maybe thatll work??
lovek ristin
]
I understand your frustration with not being trusted in your new living situation. It's no fun to be treated like it's a given that you are planning to do something wrong. However, don't forget that trust is something that is earned. You mentioned that you were kicked out of your Mom's recently and I am wondering if the events surrounding your removal from your Mom's could be leading your Dad and Grandma to worry about your trustworthiness. If you feel that their distrust is unfounded, then take some time to prove them wrong. Once you have established a pattern of good behavior, hopefully they will recognize your efforts and start to give you a bit more freedom. If they don't recognize your efforts on their own, you could have a calm and rational conversation with them detailing all that you have done to gain their trust and respect and ask them to cut you some slack and give you some space. Best of luck to you.
Kind wishes,
]
Everything u just wrote u should tell them that and if they still don't understand maybe it's cause you did something really bad to get them mad but give them time and show then ur responsible before they while they gain ur trust again.but if i was in ur situation i wouldn't cause not one problem and i would suck up as much as possible.i hope it works out for u good luck!
]
Really, you have few options that will actually work. Your best bet is to stay away from any activities or doing anything that would even make them think of questioning their trust in you. If you don't do anything wrong, they will eventually learn to trust you. If you go behind their back and do things, they'll assume the worst so avoid doing that.
]
you need to tell your dad& gramma this: keeping you from things will not help. it will only force you to do more things behind their back instead of keeping you from them. they really need to know that keeping you from things is not preventing lies its forcing them more. tell them buying things is nice, but without really being able to hang or talk with your friends will not build trust it will help lose because they really leave you no other opition than to sneak. tell them this.
]
I don't know if you have done anything in the past to warrant their behavior toward you, but trust takes time to build. You are going to have to prove to them that you can be trusted. Be on your best behavior and in time, they will hopefully begin to trust you.
]
More Questions: |