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My friend might end her life
My friend has a heart condition that she hides from just about every one of her friends except for me. The problem is that she is kind of a party girl. She smokes about a pack a day, gets high about twice a week during the summer and once a week during the school year and she drinks excessively on a very frequent basis. I've really really considered doing a few things but I have encountered so many problems. The first thing is that she absolutely doesn't want to quit even though it could kill her. Her mind set is that if she doesnt live til the age when fun switches from getting messed up, playing football in the rain and then having sex with your latest boy toy, to sipping tea and knocking a tennis ball back and forth, then she's not missing out on too much. Unfortunately for me, I kind of agree with her about that. Anyways, the last time one of her friends talked to her about it she quit talking to him and now will rarely even answer the phone when he calls. Another problem is that she lives 1600 miles from me and I only spend 3 weeks a year with her this year, though im currently saving up $1200 to go see her and my buds there this winter, so I cant really talk to her face to face. I would tell her best friend but she made me absolutely promise not to mention her heart condition to him, so I'm not sure what to do. The rate she's going a person without her condition would die around 40, and with her mind set, I could accept that, but if she doesnt quit soon she could die before I even get to see her again, and to be honest, that scares me so horribly that it was all I could do to write this. Thank you for any advice you might have.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I had the exact same problem with my best friend. Everyone knew he was gay but he just wasn't ready to tell. He eventually came out,and gained alot more respect for it. However, don't rush him into confessing anything, he'll do it eventually if he IS gay, it's not an easy thing for someone to come out and say. The best thing you can do is continue to be his friend, stick up for him when someoen calls him gay (EVEN IF YOU AGREE) and eventually he'll come out, when HE'S ready. We forced my friend too, and it's something I regret a whole bunch looking back on. Just don't hassle him about it...like I said, he'll come out some day, that is, if he's gay...he could just be feminine?
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you should call her and tell her that she is hurting herself and shorting her life day by day by a mistake. and tell her mistakes are easy to make so to whatch out! and she should understand. try going out and stuff and talk and hang out to get her mind off of that stuff!
-xox-Stephanie
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since this is yet the hardest question ive come upon yet in my days at advicenator, I would definetly have to reference you to someone else. But before you turn away and think that Ive give up on you, take my advice, follow closely. Find out if there are any drug hotlines, look it up online, anything, but i know their are lots of free 1-800 numbers that allow you to stay confidential. Have a long chat with the person who answers the hotline. They will have the best advice for you.. and they will be there 4 u.
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well yur frend is being very stupid she might be depressed bout sum and u should talk to her befor she killes her self or tell her parents depending on her age. and bring her to counsiling or just for her own good call the cops that is all u can do for her at this point.
luv from vanna
PS: go to ma advice colum and tell me how it all goes.
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If you agree with this way of life...well, that sucks, since you really can't help her until you help yourself. But you seem to really care about her, so perhaps try to talk to her first...it probably won't work immediately, but if she sees how worried you are about her condition, she may find that it's enough to stop her...
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Listen, just smack that niaaatch around until u set her strait.NSbiaaatch.
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You need to talk to your friend . I don't care if she hates you for it because, that's what friends do . Friends tell each other what they sometimes don't want to hear . She should understand this if she really was your friend . If she rejects you then there's nothing u can do about that . You'll just have to let her do what she does to herself . It's her choice . All you can do is provide her with some advice that u hope she'll take . I think your friend knows that she can die from what she's doing to herself but there is nothing u can do about that . Just tell her that she can discuss any issue she has with you . Let her know that you will support her even if she's angry with u from expressing yourself . Later, if there's a later, she'll understand . Some people have to learn from their mistakes and she will learn . I don't like the thought of her learning the hard way, but sometimes that's the best way . I really hope that your friend finds help and I hope that this advice was some help because, the important issue is your friends problem . Are u willing to take a chance at loosing your friend because, of her problem ? Are you willing to loose your friendship over something you know that's right ? These are the questions you have to ask yourself . Of course the answers aren't always easy and simple, but its all up to , what your heart is telling you to do ? What are your instints telling you to do ? Remember this is up to u ? By.
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Hey*
That must really hurt. I think yOu shouldnt try to talk to her about it. Go to a Higher place in mind and talk to her parents,a counsler, or sum1 that could help her. She most likly will get mad at yOu look at wuts goin on? She is majorly hurting herself. I would rather have her mad at me then to have her hurt herself. Try sum things out... I hope she doesnt hurt herself... keep in touch and tel me how things work out. bye*
.:*Erika*:.
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Wow!!Im so sorry to hear about your friend and your heart condition..If she gets mad at you when u try to sit donwn n talk to her then maybe you could try telling her mom..i know she will be mad at u..but you would give her help..i mean she can die...before the age of 40..but hey in the end..she will thank u..believe me..its all Worth it..I wish u the best..please keep in touch..!!
XoX,<3,
mandyrenee'!
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it doesnt matter wat you promised to her u really need to tell someone really fast!! tell an adult so they can help her out more than you vcan. saving her life is so much more imoprtant then keeping your secret. she mite get mad for a lil while but then shes gonna relize that it was the best thing to do. hope i helped _xOX_good luck!
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well you shouldn't start to do those things if you are worried about your friend. well you can't
control your friend but you can be there for her.
if her parents don't know you should tell them that she needs their help. you don't have to tell
them what for but it will help her. she is going
to regret it and you have to be there for her when she does. she is probably in denyl about her
heart condition or she doesn't want to have to deal with it so she is trying to die. that may sound like stupid advice but she needs your help.
HOPE I HELPED!! need anything else just ask.
*~~~shana~~~*
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Sit down with your friend (or call her) and let her know that her habits are a serious health risk and could very well cause her an early death. Suggest that she seeks profressional help as well.
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