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ive been criticizing other peoples poems and i would like to know what people think of some of my work...
The knife
Seductively strokes your arm
The sharp pain
The tiny droplet
Nothing
The blade
Drawn down your forehead
The an abrupt bliss
A bloody tear
Nothing
The dagger
Slitting your wrist
A delightful innervation
The extravagant red
Nothing
The switchblade
Cold at your throat
Lack of breath
A graceful fountain
Nothing
The scythe
Ripped down your back
The first true pain
Death’s eyes are beautiful
You find no God
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umm its kinda scary!!!!! lol....its really descrpitive though...but maybe if it was alot less depressing it would be more fun to read
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it really good (depressing) but good!!!
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That is brilliant!!!!!!! but itz kinda depessing tho... but EXTREMLY descriptive!!! keep writing i would like 2 read more!!!
<3 carolee
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its kind of depressinq dont u think .. think of someone u love insted of somethinq so cruel and scary .. whoa .. and try stayin safe :)
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descriptive
and a lil scary
a bit hard to follow, but yes it's good
on 1-10 1 being worst 10 being best i'd arte it a 9.5
this is like out of the BEST POEMS EVER that i've heard, so thats pretty good in my opinion, unless i've seen a spectacular poem, i don't raet 10!
Hope this helps
u do have talent, please don't kill ne1 lol
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Its good and kind of scary but i just had trouble following with it i didnt know where it was going
Love Ashley
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Who wrote this? I'd really like to know. Ummm? Very descriptive, dark tone, you're actually showing this emotion as opposed to telling it. Several of the others I've read always told the emotion (I'm depressed, I'm angry, etc). The language used isn't very commonplace, that's good. It's a bit repetitive, but that's okay. It's good, better than most I've read around here.
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its really good and really sad. keep up the good work...but some parts are kinda hard to understand....
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its really good =D but extremly scary and in my opinion... *MyStErIoUs*
hope i helped!
<33 xox court xox
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Kinda dark huh? But very descriptive,vivid. I can see the girl looking at herself in the mirror. No make up on,depressed,cutting herself and watching her blood drip into the sink.
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It is really well written and has a lot of meaning to it. I do think that it could be a little less satonic, but whatever. It's really good
Lizzy
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thats really good :-)
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