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He's cheating on her! <<< Previous Question
Next Question >>> help!!!!!!!!

poem


Question Posted Monday July 12 2004, 9:19 am

is this a good poem:
Surrounded by friends, but she has none of her own, shes in a crowded room, but feels so alone.

Late one night she was lying in her bed, tear drops falling, thoughts running through her head.

Her hopes and dreams and she cried until she could no more.

Home she could no longer stay, so she ran far away, she left her quiet home that night, she went down the street and out of sight.

She didnt see the car until it was too late. she felt all emotions at once. Pain. Love. Hate.

Now shes somewhere where everyone cares and the streets are paved with gold. She looks down from heaven, shining her light upon the young and old.

So if you have a friendship that is strong and true, then guard it with your life, unlike the girl who spread her wings and flew.

did you like it?
i need advice.


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xxhotsexycutiexx answered Tuesday July 13 2004, 2:17 pm:
.................................WOW........i dunno wut else to say...dat poem is like da best one i've ever read...keep up the good work................WOW....very nice!!! when U asked "did u like it" i was like HELL NO....I LOVED IT!!!!! xoxo effy

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Mackenzie answered Tuesday July 13 2004, 3:51 am:
It's remarkable, it really is. If you wrote that, you show incredible potential. It's really lovely. I was touched. Assuming it's your material, how long have you been writing? Please get back to me. =D

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advice~gurl answered Monday July 12 2004, 9:27 pm:
That is a BRILLIANT poem!!! And i'm not kidding. This is a poem that shows talent. check out either poetry.com or fictionpress.com both are good but fictionpress lets anyone on the site review it and they tell you what they think. it rules!

Great poem and I mean it!
advice~gurl

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BleedingHeart answered Monday July 12 2004, 7:30 pm:
I think that is an awsome poem!Try doing an internet search for poem books and send your poem in to see if it could be published.You are a very creative person.

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bAhAmAmA0250 answered Monday July 12 2004, 6:08 pm:
Thats good keep it up! I am sure alot of people can relate to this kind of poem except the whole car part... it may have happaned You need to keep writing I'd like to hear more from you and the bottom part was by far the best-trix

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BlueEyedBlondie725 answered Monday July 12 2004, 4:30 pm:
Wow. Thats really good! Because I'm sure many people feel the pain, love, hate, because I know I do sometimes! Thats an awesome poems. lol I just love reading these lol. Keep up the good work and keep posting!!! =P

xoxo Kourtney

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Sportegirl2004 answered Monday July 12 2004, 2:12 pm:
This is really good! It really has a strong message to it. You have talent girl and keep it up. I really like it! *BROOKIE*

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united_python_cheerleader answered Monday July 12 2004, 1:44 pm:
That is REALLY GOOD ... you should do like poetry in your school




love Ashley ,~plz rate me~

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S_C answered Monday July 12 2004, 1:09 pm:
that was so sad :'(

BUT REALLY GOOD, hey if you publish it at www.poems.com (i think thats the site) u could win $1,000 or $5,000, or $10,000 i forgot how much

but there's sum poem site where you could win $$$$$
and i SO think u have that potential!! :):):)

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XxSmileyChickxX answered Monday July 12 2004, 12:17 pm:
Wow that is awesome. It's kind of sad though. But it has a meaning to it. I love it. Its wonderful. Keep writting poems youre good at it.
*Zoe*

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sweetie4143 answered Monday July 12 2004, 11:24 am:
Wow, that was great! You have quite a talent for poetry! I also have a talent for poetry, well so my English teacher, friends and family claim. That poem was awsome. You should publish it at poems.com!

-*- Bonnie -*-

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Roxybabii922 answered Monday July 12 2004, 10:00 am:
That's a really cute poem! :-)

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DruidX answered Monday July 12 2004, 9:58 am:
Well, The sentence structure is a bit odd for a poem, but I quite like the feeling behind it. There are a few bits that could do with being re-worded. I've messed around with the structure and some lines a bit, see what you think.

Surrounded by friends, but she has none of her own,
she's in a crowded room, but feels so alone.

Late at night she's lying on her bed,
tear drops falling,
thoughts running through her head;
her hopes and dreams,
the past and future plans.
She cries herself to sleep.

At home she could no longer stay,
so she simply ran away.
She left her quiet home that night,
turned down a street and out of sight.
But, she didnt see the car until it was too late,
felt all emotions at once. Pain. Love. Hate.

Now she's where everyone cares,
and the streets are paved with gold.
She looks down from heaven,
shining her light upon the young and old.

So if you have a friendship that is strong and true,
then guard it with your life,
unlike the girl who spread her wings and flew.

Like I said, I like the sentiment, and just keep practicing.

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]



iPlayTheAirGuitar answered Monday July 12 2004, 9:56 am:
I like it.

megan.

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