Mackenzie answered Tuesday July 13 2004, 3:51 am: It's remarkable, it really is. If you wrote that, you show incredible potential. It's really lovely. I was touched. Assuming it's your material, how long have you been writing? Please get back to me. =D [ Mackenzie's advice column | Ask Mackenzie A Question ]
advice~gurl answered Monday July 12 2004, 9:27 pm: That is a BRILLIANT poem!!! And i'm not kidding. This is a poem that shows talent. check out either poetry.com or fictionpress.com both are good but fictionpress lets anyone on the site review it and they tell you what they think. it rules!
bAhAmAmA0250 answered Monday July 12 2004, 6:08 pm: Thats good keep it up! I am sure alot of people can relate to this kind of poem except the whole car part... it may have happaned You need to keep writing I'd like to hear more from you and the bottom part was by far the best-trix [ bAhAmAmA0250's advice column | Ask bAhAmAmA0250 A Question ]
BlueEyedBlondie725 answered Monday July 12 2004, 4:30 pm: Wow. Thats really good! Because I'm sure many people feel the pain, love, hate, because I know I do sometimes! Thats an awesome poems. lol I just love reading these lol. Keep up the good work and keep posting!!! =P
sweetie4143 answered Monday July 12 2004, 11:24 am: Wow, that was great! You have quite a talent for poetry! I also have a talent for poetry, well so my English teacher, friends and family claim. That poem was awsome. You should publish it at poems.com!
DruidX answered Monday July 12 2004, 9:58 am: Well, The sentence structure is a bit odd for a poem, but I quite like the feeling behind it. There are a few bits that could do with being re-worded. I've messed around with the structure and some lines a bit, see what you think.
Surrounded by friends, but she has none of her own,
she's in a crowded room, but feels so alone.
Late at night she's lying on her bed,
tear drops falling,
thoughts running through her head;
her hopes and dreams,
the past and future plans.
She cries herself to sleep.
At home she could no longer stay,
so she simply ran away.
She left her quiet home that night,
turned down a street and out of sight.
But, she didnt see the car until it was too late,
felt all emotions at once. Pain. Love. Hate.
Now she's where everyone cares,
and the streets are paved with gold.
She looks down from heaven,
shining her light upon the young and old.
So if you have a friendship that is strong and true,
then guard it with your life,
unlike the girl who spread her wings and flew.
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