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My second poem - please tell me what you think !
I wrote the poem which is in one of the previous posts entitled "Everytime" . I was feeling rather depressed today , and so i wrote another poem . Tell me what you think about it ....
Bt\ , to all those who asked ,
i'm 13 going on 14 .
You
I thought that I was contented
I thought I knew you
But that was just an illusion
You took me for a fool
All this pain that I went through
Did I ever mean anything to you ?
All those times I cried
Why weren’t you by my side?
So many nights I spent ,
Sitting by the phone
Just hoping you would call
I was so alone
You told me that you loved me
But why couldn't you look me in the eye ?
I guess this was what made me see
That i was living a lie ..
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Quite nice. It would make a really good song, I think. I love the "living a lie" line, particularly.
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Sad thats really sad i hope you dont feel that way anymore or its at least fading away at that fact.-trix
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Cool poem!!! I think that you really have a talent in writting poems! You could even be a famous poet someday! Continue writting poems! Good Luck! :D
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that poem is so cool i think you r really gd at writing them. i wish i could write like you
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wow...i like this poem alot...i do the same thing whenever im feeling "low" i always like to write..and ya love is the best subject to write bout cuz ure just feeling all those experances with guys right now so this is the prime time 2 write!! and u r very talented!!! i think u should enter your stuff into contests!
oo ya and PS BE CAREFUL ABOUT PUTTING YOUR POEMS ONLINE CUZ PPL COULD STEAL THEM AND SAY THEY ARE THEIRS.....I WONT DO THAT I M JUST TELLING YOU FOR THE FUTURE.!~!~!~!
KEEP WRITING!!!!
((jE$SiCa))
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You are really good and talented at writing poems. I like poems like this, when you can feel how hurt and confused the person was when they wrote it. I have writen many poems that are all happy and perfest and there is no depth to them. this is true and you should really keep writing.
By the way I have started a book or jurnal some thing on that order, that I have put all my poems in. I put my favorite quotes and short storys. it's just a nice way to keep all my poems and stuff like that.
always
advice~gurl
kat
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That's a really good poem. But...just to make sure you know for sure, you don't always have to rhyme...just let the words flow...like just close your eyes and imagine your feelings...sometimes what I do is I close my eyes and actually draw on paper the images I see in my mind...and then once I look at my completed drawing I write a poem about it. It helps a lot.
~Gessyka~
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yes. you are living a lie. nobody cares about your damn poems, this isnt a publishing company, its a piece of crap i like to call advice!
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I loved your poem! I was once in a poetry contest and made it to the semi-finals! I went to Poetry.com If that is what you really love to do, then you should check it out. Keep up the great work!
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That's really good. Keep on writing!
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that poem was so................ FREAKIN STUPID, IT WAS GAY IT MADE ME FALL ASLEEP EVERYTIME I WOKE UP TO READ I FELL ASLEEP YOU ARE SO GAY NO YOUR A LESBO AND WHO CARES IF YOUR 13 GOING ON 14 YOU SHOULD STOP WRITTNG GO DO SOMETHIN ELSE LIKE LICK A DOG BOWL
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It kinda reminded us of Britney Spear's everytime. I think you need to sort of make it more original but i like the idea, also, contented is not a word, it is content. Good Job!
Elle
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wow that was awesome i really liked it and especially that your 13 going on 14
~bree~
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good. Especially for your age. I used to write a lot of poems when I was your age. I write songs now for my band. Good poem though, I liked it.
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