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i feel like i need to be somewhat popular
ok heres my quesion .......i get good grades in school i look somewhat good......and i have a great voice....but i feel like i need to be somewht popularr.....and plez dont answer " who cares wht other people think" wht do i do?
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Why exactly do you feel the need to be popular?
I hate to say it but, being popular isn't always a good thing. You sound like a great person just the way you are!
If you want to be popular to make more friends, just put yourself out there more. Talk to more people. You said you have a great voice? I'm guessing that means singing? Audition for your schools talent show. That will get you noticed. :)
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Okay well, what type of popular do you want to be?
Like who do you want to hang out with, what do those people do?
Because you don't want to be in a group that smokes, drinks, does drugs, etc.
No matter how popular they are.
I don't know how it works in YOUR school...but in MY school I just mind my own business and the people come to me. I know that may seem strange but that's what happens. I don't have targets...and what I mean by that is I have my eye on some boys and girls that maybe if I hang out with more people will like me...because all of those people are busy with something else and they say hi to me and all that, but it's not like we're friends...and that's okay with me because if you think envying a group is going to make you popular, that's not...that's just going to make you desperate because think about it...those popular girls probably love that life...everyone envying them...the perfect life...and you're one of those people envying them which just makes you desperate. What I think you should do is maybe go up to them and talk to them a little I mean...they're just people, not gods. And if you're nervous than I guess it's okay to be but don't tear yourself up over this because they're just people. Most people get so worked up when a "popular" person talks to them but i dont. I have a popular friend but just because I have a popular friend doesn't mean I'm "popular" And this popular friend isn't the typical teenage girl...I mean she's kind of pretty, short, asian (not that Im racist but tell me...how many popular asian people do you know?) Popular people are usually blondes and brunettes right? But my friend got popular for being nice and however corny that may sound...tust me, it works.
You see, I DIDNT become popular because the "popular" people in my old school said something bad about my friends so i told them off and they dont like me but so what...because its not like they started spreading rumors..and everyone else treated me the same way as they normally did... what Im saying is everybody didn't turn on my all because i got in a fight with one slutty popular girl that all the guys love. But Im saying the "popular" all turned on my like a pack of angry dogs and my friends were with me the whole time and it was just like the smell of loads of erfume and bad breath...ew...they all harassed me verbally and stuff but its not like they tried killing me...
but think about it...all the popular people dont become known as a group of friends, they become known as the "popular"...its like they all became one and even if it doesn't seem like they're all one person...look at them... because if they all dress alike, talk alike, and act alike then that's one person to me...they are like zombies...none of them are different because they are all hung up on their looks...and in my opinion, the snotty "popular" girls aren't really popular at all...no matter how many guys like them or how many friends they have.
But...if you REALLY care so much about being popular be like EVERYONE ELSE then I guess do you're hair and get the latest clothes...go figure...that's just what EVERYONE loves....
but if you do become popular all because of your looks, then be careful your attitude towards life doesnt change, because from your letter I can tell your pretty confident, and you should keep up your grades and not focus your WHOLE time on your social life....because if you focus your whole time on your social life then thats just a waste....and if your a nice person, if you become popular dont change....and I mean that.
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I won't tell you not to care what other people think. You're a teen....and I know that peer's perceptions are very imporatant to you.
What I would ask is, " Why is that you feel that you need to be popular? What is it that you feel you would gain from popularity? Is there something that you're missing. Ask this question to yourself and once you find out the answer, you should be able to move beyond this. IF that's what you want to do. Give it some thought and let me know.
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OH!OH!OH!OH!
To be part of THE popular group at MY school, you only need to follow a few steps.
1. Become an alcoholic...well...maybe not alcoholic but you have to drink a few times a week.
2. Wear the most revealing shirts you possibly can.
3. Pretend your life is a soap opera.
Now, if you want to be part of the second most popular group, like the one I'm part of, you have to be an interesting or funny person. Every lunch, the guys that the popular group are always talking about talk to us and hang out with us. There's about 20 of us. And 5 of them and they think everyone loves them. And yeah...we're the smart 'nerds'. But we are the second group in school...sorry...had to brag for a bit there....
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Popularity, like love, happens when you're busy chasing something else. So keep busy, love what you do, and good things will probably happen.
Being polite and helpful is also good... as is being articulate. Choir may be good, but drama, student government or debating is better if you want that presence. Anything where you're working with people you respect towards common goals will have a good effect.
You may only become well-liked in your particular crowd, and depending on who else is there and your personality, you may wind up being a leader or a follower, but if popularity is being well-liked among people that matter, that should fit the bill.
If you want to become massively popular across the school, you should know that many of those types wind up serving donuts at a truck stop in an exotic part of the Canadian back woods after graduation...
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I think you need to start by asking yourself why you feel the need to be popular. Really, what is popularity anyway? To have a small group of people in a limited setting look up to you? To be part of an elitist clique in order to feel better about yourself?
Just be yourself. Try to enjoy being yourself. I think that once you figure out why it's so important to be popular and what "being popular" really means it won't be such a big deal anymore.
Oh, I'd also suggest working on spelling, punctuation, and grammar. They all count.
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Keep a good attitude and be friendly. That is really the key to being popular (and not so much looks, and/or material things you may have).
You didn't mention if you were in high school or college. Being 'popular' is a bit more easy to pull off (such was the case with me). I think it's because everyone is going in starting from square one; plus you have the freedom to go places and do things without parental rules holding you down. I was never popular in high school but had tons of people who knew me in college; to me it was worth the wait.
So just keep smiling and watch the people gravitate to you!
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Easy--dress slutty and act like an idiot
But I wouldnt reccomend it. Hang out with the nerds and geeks. Theyre cool too--and if you really think about it, so are the loners and punks and any goths you might have at your school (our school is mostly loners preps/popular kids and nerds)
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Truth is, you really don't need to be popular. The popular people in my school are extremely dull, concerned only with football and make up. I would much rather be with my friends, who share my interests. But that's just what I like. If you like football and/or make up, strike up a conversation with a popular person. They don't bite... often...
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You want to be popular? You need to be personable, smile and say hi to random people, ask people how there doing, give people complements, did I mention smile? All those things make you seem like a nice person, also walk proud, don't cross your arms shoulders back, you don't want to look argent just like you have confidence in who you are, these things will make people want to be your friend, 'popular' people stereotypically are the independent friendly social people, if you really want other people to like you, you have to like yourself and be personable... You are desurving of lots of friends! Ok that said, being popular has its downfalls too but it should be fun!
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Just so you know, being popular isn't all what it's cracked up to be. Ask yourself if you really want to settle for a large group of fair-weather friends in lieu of a smaller group of loyal, permanent friends. If you do, great, you know what you want, so go for it! If you don't, more kudos to you.
You can earn both by just being yourself, but exuding confidence and taking pride in the good things about yourself, such as your good grades. It's also important that you know that you are someone worthy of having friends, whether you have a few or a lot, and people who see someone so secure will naturally be drawn to them.
I promise, ten years from now, you won't care if you were popular or not, but as long as it's a priority now, that's the way to go about it.
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Ok, since you are asking what to do to be popular and you dont want me to say "Don't worry about being popular, who cares what other people think, ect." I will, reluctantly, give you tips on becoming somewhat popular.
Be friendly and outgoing, but not OVERPOWERING.
Get involved in your school and the community. Don't make an impossibly busy schedule for yourself (unlike me), but join some worthwhile clubs/activities at your school, volunteer, join a few activities outside of school.
Be well groomed. I hate to say it, but first impressions do count. I'm not saying that you should spend hours getting dressed, doing your hair (and make-up if you are a girl and old enough), but do take some time to make yourself look good.
Be yourself. Dont change your apperance/personality drastically, because it is very likely that you wont be able to keep it up for very long, and that you will end up not liking your "new" self.
And finally, although you don't want me to say this probably, for the record: Being popular isn't that important. Don't aim to "be popular", aim to gain more friends, have more fun, or whatever.
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