I'm a twenty-four year old biologist recently graduated from Kansas State University and still looking for work. My research interests are primarily in the realm of molecular genetics, specifically mutagenesis and the genetic basis of cancers.
Apparently I've managed to get a decent hold on the whole relationship mess as my girlfriend and I are relatively happy and living together after dating for approximately five years.
E-mail: belgand [at] planetfortress [dot] com
Gender: Male
Location: Kansas, USA
Occupation: Biology student
Age: 24
Member Since: October 18, 2003
Answers: 29
Last Update: February 26, 2004
Visitors: 3688
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I have Question
lately I have had alot* of wet dreams even though I try not. but what im REALLY worried about is it normal to get like a burning sensation because its like I wake up all sweaty and i feel a burning sensation.can u have a orgasm just by dreaming?
there is NO way im talking to my mother or anyone else for that matter. im only posting this because no one knows who i am.
anyways thanx
it would help me ALOT if you would answer this.
all wet (link)
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The wet dreams are normal and almost all males get them. Oddly enough I never did though so I'm going out on a limb a bit here.
The burning sensation, on the other hand, does not seem normal. I know you don't want to talk to someone about this, but I seriously suggest that you talk to a competent doctor or other medical professional about this as it may be indicative or some serious problems. I can understand that it is embarassing, but this is their job and it is better to be slightly embarassed by something that you have no control over than to suffer serious consequences as a result of an untreated condition that will eventually have to be treated.
Trying to keep this in for fear of embarassment has much more potential to make things worse. Even if it eventually turns out to be nothing you should see someone about it.
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I'm 13 and I found a dildo in my moms dresser a couple of months ago, since then I've fingered myself every day. Is that normal? (link)
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I realize this may be overlapping with other responses, but in a nutshell:
1) Yes. It is perfectly normal to masturbate. Whether you prefer to stimulate yourself manually with your fingers or by using a dildo or vibrator this is perfectly normal and acceptable.
2)It is not, however, alright to use someone else's sex toy. For one thing it's just not hygenic. You should never use a sex toy that has been inside another person without sterilizing it first. In fact, you should not typically even use a sex toy on yourself without cleaning it properly between uses.
As well it's quite simply and invasion of her privacy and personal belongings. It's quite unnerving to many people that someone, especially a relative, would use such a personal item in such a personal manner. While you don't state explicitly that you've been using it, if you have, I suggest you stop.
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how do i go about teaching what i need without
offeding him' (link)
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Simply tell him and be honest. It's likely best to phrase it as helpful advice and not a criticism of him, though if he keeps doing something wrong, feel free to politely criticise.
Most guys need help and the better ones actively ask for it. Guys aren't girls and don't have the same parts so they're going into it with a disadvantage from the start. Even then regardless of how many women a man has been sexually involved with each one is different and likes different things in a different manner.
It's a good thing that you asked this though. Not many women (or men for that matter) are able to ask for what they want and often this leads to unenjoyable sex for all concerned. It's your body and your orgasm so just be honest about what you want and help him to understand how to do it best. I'm sure you'll have him trained properly in no time. ;)
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how many fingers do i use to finger my self? because i want it to feel good but i dont want it to hert? how many??? (link)
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It really all comes down to personal preferences. I know some people who only like one either because anything else hurts or because they simply prefer it that way. Others tend to like two and from what I can discern this tends to the most common. Then again, some like three or more. I know one person who regularly uses four, but this is an exception.
On the other end of the spectrum is fisting, which involves the entire fist going into the vagina. This tends to be more of a kinky/fetish activity and is not necessarily something regularly performed. If you think this is something that interests you I would suggest getting more information on the subject.
As well, I'm told that most women tend to prefer more in the way of clitoral stimulation rather than actual penetration when they masturbate. Allegedly the most common method is to rub the clitoris or the clitoral hood either in a circular or up-down motion.
In the end though, I'm not a woman, I'm merely going by what I've been told and read about. The most important thing to do is simply enjoy yourself and do what feels good to you.
Now it does occur to me that you might be a guy asking about doing this to a woman, in such situations I would suggest simply asking what she wants. It's the best way to give her what will be most pleasing. If this doesn't work out, however, start small. Use one finger to start and start at the outside before moving into the vagina itself. If there seems to be enough room and she is enjoying it slowly add another finger. Be forewarned however that it can hurt slightly, especially if the additional finger is not lubricated properly first. Some woman have problems with the insertion of additional digits in the middle of things when they likely would not have had you started with more.
While related, using dildo, vibrators and other sex toys as aids are another topic altogether. I do suggest that as far as they are concerned to not try to improvise. Not everything should go in the vagina! If you must a carrot or other vegetable appropriately shaped to your desired size is generally preferable. Try to avoid things with sugar though as they could negatively affect the vagina possibly leading to yeast infections or worse.
If you have any further questions, feel free to ask me.
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ok, this is kinda embarassing, but i heard that the first time you have sex, it hurts (for a girl)
true...false? (link)
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Sometimes it can hurt, but this varies from person to person. In many cases this also depends on your masturbation habits. If you have been penetrated vaginally by anything (tampon, finger, dildo, etc.) then it is much less likely to hurt. As well, I have anecdotal evidence that if you do not have an intact hymen (rather common these days, the hymen can rupture for a great many reasons aside from sex or other vaginal insertion) it will likely hurt less or not at all.
Tensing up will be bad as well. I'm sure you're going to be a bit nervous about things, but if you are comfortable and relaxed the muscles will experience less resistence and not be as likely to hurt when stretching.
In short: a great big maybe, it all depends on the person.
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how do u give oral to a guy????
~> confuses! (link)
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Well, it's a shame that you lost your manual because you're really not going to get another one. I mean, everyone gets one when they're born that covers this sort of thing.
Seriously though, it's not the sort of thing you can really explain precisely. This is not insert TAB A into SLOT B, repeat. It's the broad category of using your mouth to stimulate someone, most likely to orgasm. Lick, touch, suck, rub... do whatever seems natural and right. Move your mouth back and forth along the length of it.
As other people stated 1)If you have to ask you're probably not ready 2)Practice makes perfect! Try it out on a carrot, bannana, or other phallic bit of food and try to get an idea of what's going on.
A side note: your questions are more likely to be answered reasonably when you take the time to use proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Capitalize the first word in a sentence. Use the word "you", not the letter 'u'. Restrict your punctuation marks to one apiece at the end of a sentence. It makes things look both more presentable as well as making you look much better and your question look more serious and adult.
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Is it possible to get pregnant if the scenario of my second portion of my first question (fooling around ejaculation)is the same except the female has never broken that protective barrier that I forget the technical term for. No tampons, no sex, no anything else that could be inserted. So is it still possible? (link)
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Indeed as other people have mentioned you can get pregnant as long as it gets reasonably close to your vagina. This isn't limited to ejaculate either. Pre-cum (the secretion that often accompanies foreplay) can contain sperm and induce pregnancy. Play it safe and treat his wang like a loaded gun and don't let it or anything coming out of it get close to your vagina and you should be alright.
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ok so im 17 and i was wondering i have read that guys prefer the girls to swallow there cum after oral sex is this true or would they rather us to spit everytime i ask guys they say either way but i want to know seriously what they prefer i know it would be different for different guys but what would most of them seriously want (link)
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By and large almost all guys tend to prefer that a girl swallows. I'm told it can be a bit tough for some women although a glass of water would likely help. Regardless if you can't do it without choking and gagging then it's likely to be worse off than spitting. Try not to let this give you any performance anxiety.
As well some men apparently don't like it when girls swallow, although I'm not quite certain why. They tend to be a very small minority however.
In general though, guys want you to perform oral sex on them. Swallowing is the cherry on top. It's typically a preference and as long as they're getting head most guys aren't likely to complain.
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I want to have a party and I want to serve cheese, but I don't think plain old cheddar is very classy or interesting. What are some other good cheeses I can serve just cut up as cubes, that people might not have tried before but will still like? (link)
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I would suggest going to a local cheese shop, gourmet grocery, or at least a very good grocery store. A good cheese shop will have samples of a variety of cheeses that you can taste and check for desired appearance.
If you're just going to grab something from the local grocery store's dairy case though I would probably suggest against it. Since you seem interested in presenting the cheese on it's own and not in combination with other ingredients you really aren't likely to find much that would work well.
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My best friend Joleen has been dating this guy Tom for a month now. Tom and my friends Allison and Grace go to the same school, but Joleen and I go to a different one.
Well, Tom, Allison, and Grace's school had a homecoming festival. Allison, Grace, and this other girl Mary were hanging around a fire pit, when Tom comes up and sits on Mary's lap. Then, he says "Oh, no. I'll crush you, you can sit on my lap." and Mary did. Apparently, that wasn't all that happend, either. They were flirting a LOT.
Should I tell Joleen what Tom did? Or should I keep it to myself? (link)
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Well, it really depends. First off, do you actually know what happened? Were you there? Did they just "flirt a lot" or did it go further? How much further?
I suggest you get all the facts straight first then mention what happened to your friend. Make it clear that you're telling her this with her best interests in mind. They haven't been dating very long and it's likely that this isn't a really big deal, but it might be. If you don't know for certain, be sure to tell her that. If more "apparently" happened, I wouldn't bring it up unless you know more about it, otherwise you're just spreading rumours.
You definitely shouldn't keep it to yourself, but there's no need to make it into "oh my god, you won't believe what your boyfriend did!!!" either. Just be honest and let her decide how to deal with it.
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Dude, will you marry me?
(I've really enjoyed your answers. Yours have been among the most helpful and complete I've seen here. I was actually surprised to look and find that you were male. So sensitive, I just assumed you were female.) ;) (link)
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Thanks, but my girlfriend might have a problem with that.
I think you really need a male perspective on some of these things. Many of the issues are really the same on both sides. For every girl wondering whether so and so likes her a guy is exactly the same way. Society has us condition though so that women won't ask guys out even if they want to. This is unfortunate as many guys will like a girl and not ask her out for many of the same reasons.
Personally I just think people need to get over their petty little problems and be honest with each other. Trying to hide your feelings behind vague flirtatious behaivor and then going home to spend all night worrying about why he/she isn't picking up on them or maybe they are, but they don't like you or what their signals meant just gets in the way.
As for the sensitive bit, well... it can be tough not to tell people to shut up and stop being such idiots at times. People might need that at times, but it doesn't work for Dr. Laura or anyone else trying to give actual advice. I do wish that people could be bothered to learn basic spelling and grammar.
Glad to know that I've got a fan.
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I'm an athiest, but i don't try to force people to believe what I believe. I don't challenge other people's beliefs. I've had this one guy bother me for 5 years about being an athiest. (I go to a PK-12 school distict). He's always asking me why I'm not religious, why I don't believe in God, etc, ect, and so on. i've done everything I can think of, including inflicting bodily harm on him (well - I dropped a book on his head. But I don't even think that hurt him) but he won't stop. how do I stop him? (link)
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Honestly I've found the best way to deal with that type of person is to just ignore them. Yes, they're very irritating, but with time they should stop if they realize that they can't possibly do any good (not that it stops them all).
Ultimately the world is filled with assholes who feel they have to push their religion on people and sadly most of the time there isn't much you can do to make them stop.
At least he hasn't told you you're going to hell for being an atheist, I've gotten that more times than I can count and I've never understood why someone would say something so stupid. I guess they never stop to think that it's about as menacing a threat as telling someone who doesn't believe in dragons that they'll be eaten by one for not believing.
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Is it better to dance and look really stupid or not dance at all? Should I try taking danceing lessons? (link)
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Depending on your situation taking dance lessons can be a great thing to do. If you're in college or have access to more or less free (or very cheap) lessons I definitely suggest you take advantage of it. It's very romantic when someone knows how to dance well and one of those incredibly cool skills that you can use for the rest of your life to impress people and have fun.
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I'm surrounded by idiots. My chemistry teacher has to spend whole classes explaining concepts over and over. How do I deal with people who are thick as a brick when I just want to get a good grade in chem? (link)
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I agree with previous answers that an AP or Honors class might be appropriate. If not, well... try to find something to do during class. Work on homework for that class, read ahead in the book or re-read something that you didn't quite understand. Don't fail to be visible though. Answer questions whenever you get a chance to, ask questions whenever you're confused or just curious. If you can show the teacher that you're interested and intelligent then you'll more than likely be granted a bit of leeway when it comes time to deal with the stupider members of your class.
Ultimately though, it's just a failing of the public school system. Teachers are forced to teach to the lowest common denominator and often it turns out to be pretty low. I and every other person with an IQ over room temperature feels for you.
Oh, and try not to put too little effort into it. Sure you might be able to breeze through classes now, but you'll eventually reach a point in college or whereever when you really need to know how to study well and like most of us who had it easy in the past it becomes rather hard to start learning these things this late in the game.
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ok heres my quesion .......i get good grades in school i look somewhat good......and i have a great voice....but i feel like i need to be somewht popularr.....and plez dont answer " who cares wht other people think" wht do i do? (link)
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I think you need to start by asking yourself why you feel the need to be popular. Really, what is popularity anyway? To have a small group of people in a limited setting look up to you? To be part of an elitist clique in order to feel better about yourself?
Just be yourself. Try to enjoy being yourself. I think that once you figure out why it's so important to be popular and what "being popular" really means it won't be such a big deal anymore.
Oh, I'd also suggest working on spelling, punctuation, and grammar. They all count.
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I'm 22, almost finished with college, and currently living with my parents. I desparately want to move out of my house, and I would like to live with my boyfriend, but I am vacillating between both sides. I don't know if I should just go ahead and get a place with him, or stay at home until I graduate (with all my bills and tuition paid, therefore no financial stress on me). (link)
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It really depends on a lot of other issues that you haven't brought up.
Personally I'm 22, in my last year of college, and have been living with my girlfriend of three years since the beginning of the year. We both lived in the dorms before this and were essentially living together for the past two years. After the dorms changed some policies and I found I wouldn't get the kind of room I desired we decided to move in together. Since we go to school a decent distance from home we really don't have any option to live there. Finances are totally covered by our parents for the same rate as we got in the dorms.
Really this is a good situation for us. Your will depend on various criteria:
How long have you been dating? Do you think this be too large a step?
Why do you want to move out? Freedom? Just tired of your parents? Want to experience living on your own?
What's the financial situation? Are you working? Is he? Are you both in school? If so for how long will he be in school? How is school being paid for?
How does he feel about this?
Basically if you think you can afford to get your own place without taking two jobs each, won't be moving too fast in the relationship, and think it's the right thing to do then do it. Give it some time though and think it over.
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my favorite question of all time:
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (link)
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You should really be asking this sort of thing to the famous Internet Oracle.
No, seriously do not do this. They will hurt you. Many just emotionally and mentally, but a few might just track you down for sport. Really. This is the oldest question and the one they get more than anything else. All the really funny answers have been given and everyone who thought it was funny to ask it is now very sorry that they did and well on their way to recovery.
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How do you get blood off the walls and carpet because I spilled alot of it while killi*cough* I mean choping up meat and it was all bloody and now everything else is all bloody too. (link)
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You should be reading Chuck Palahniuk's "Survivor" it's an excellent book and answers this very question along with many others. Such as the fastest way to repair bullet holes in walls, get urine stains out of drapes, or fix puncture wounds.
Incidentally to get bloodstains out of walls it reccomends a paste of cornstarch and cold water.
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I have to do an egg drop for school using only rubber bands, straws, two 20oz soda bottles, two empty toilet paper rolls, glue, masking tape, twist ties, copy paper, and a manilla folder. We aren't allowed to use parachutes, it's only allowed to be 40cm x 40cm x 40cm, and it can't weigh more than 100 g (without the egg). My knowledge base on physics is very limited and I've been looking up websites on egg drops but none of them are very helpful. Any suggestions? (link)
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Man, it's been forever since I did one of these. I seem to recall that reasonably small (1 cm) cut-up straw works very well to absorb the shock. Try to get them all lying down under the egg (think honeycomb), don't just toss them in willy-nilly. Good luck.
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Can they really use soda tabs for wheelchairs or is that a myth? (link)
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Nope, it's a myth.
I sugggest searching on Snopes.com whenever you suspect something might be a hoax or urban legend of one sort or another. It's highly amusing and you'll often find interesting things you never knew about otherwise (such as how Nieman-Marcus lists a cookie recipe on a web site designed to quash the long-standing legend associated with it).
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