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umm...embarassing question
ok, this is kinda embarassing, but i heard that the first time you have sex, it hurts (for a girl)
true...false?
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Space fem said----"My advice is to make sure you're darn good and emotionally ready before having sex. If you've never had oral sex or been touched, you're far from being ready. The emotional trauma of having sex for the first time too early hurts a lot more than actual penetration."
That is not good advice! It's good that you acknowledge the emotional factors that a woman has her first time, but giving the advice that you need to have oral sex first is incredibly bad advice!
If a woman abstains till marriage she can certainly handle the emotion of her first time plus It will be a much better emotional bond between the two virgins.
Maybe that's why virgin brides are more likely to stay married!
Is it dumb to think that someone will wait till marriage? Well, I'm a 26 year old virgin you tell me. I get all kinds of questions all the time and actually women (most of them non-virgins) are very open to talk with me about this. You'd be surprised how many of them tell me they wish they would have waited. True love waits!
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First off, I'd like to commend you for your courage in asking even though you were embarrassed. It's important to ask questions - especially about sex.
I know you've gotten a few good answers with the crap, but just to try to even it out a little, I'm going to answer too. :)
Unfortunately, the answer to the question is that it's a big maybe. Most women I've discussed it with said that it did hurt a little.
From personal experience, I can tell you that it hurts a little when your not ready that particular time - even if you've had sex so many times you stopped counting.
My advice for any time penetration hurts (more than a quick twinge and when you don't want it to) is to stop and try something else for a while. You can always go back to trying penetration later.
Things that will help:
* having manual sex first (where one or more fingers has been inserted). The first half a dozen times I had sex, the guy did this first to "stretch me out" a little. It felt good, and it let my body adjust to having something inside my vagina, since I had never even used tampons.
* being very very turned on
* lubricant. if your as turned on as you can be, but your vagina is not literally dripping wet, get some astroglide or wet or some other form of lubricant designed for penetrating sex.
* a female superior position (where you are on top). This allows you to control the situation, which has two benefits. Psychologically, it helps you relax knowing that your in control and can stop or change things whenever you want. Physically, it lets you decide how fast and how far in the penis goes each time.
You may be a little sore the next day. That would happen to any muscles that got stretched out more than usual, and it's totally normal. It should not interfere with your usual activities unless your a gymnast or a horseback rider. Occasionally, women bleed a tiny bit too, but it shouldn't be enough to go through your underwear. If your worried about your panties, put on one of those tiny little pantiy-liners when you get get dressed afterwards.
If you've read about people having sex, you've probably seen them use words like "impaled", "plunged", or "banged". Don't pay any attention to that until you've got some experience. Go slow.
In fact, "Go Slow" is probably the best advice I can give you as far as having sex in general. Your never too old to be a virgin, and when you do decide it's time to have your first experience, make it something you'll smile back on for the rest of your life. Wait till you can set something up so that you can take as long as you need to get comfortable and turned on - allow several hours at the very least. All night is best. And don't have anything really important to do the next day - your not likely to be able to concentrate properly. ;) And if you set things up and your not ready at the last minute, don't do it. It's never too late to say no. It's even ok to stop if you've started to insert his penis and it just doesn't feel right. (although I do suggest helping him get off some other way - either orally or manually - but if your not comfortable, he can always go into the bathroom and take care of himself.)
But to get back to the question: it might hurt a little at first. but it should feel good at the same time - and the good feeling should come first and last much longer.
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It tends to hurt girls who are younger, more stressed out about the situation, who've never used tampons, who have an intact hymen. You hymen starts to deteriorate around the time of your first menstrual period, so for many women, it's gone by the age of 18. Contrary to popular belief it does not grow back.
My advice is to make sure you're darn good and emotionally ready before having sex. If you've never had oral sex or been touched, you're far from being ready. The emotional trauma of having sex for the first time too early hurts a lot more than actual penetration.
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Sometimes it can hurt, but this varies from person to person. In many cases this also depends on your masturbation habits. If you have been penetrated vaginally by anything (tampon, finger, dildo, etc.) then it is much less likely to hurt. As well, I have anecdotal evidence that if you do not have an intact hymen (rather common these days, the hymen can rupture for a great many reasons aside from sex or other vaginal insertion) it will likely hurt less or not at all.
Tensing up will be bad as well. I'm sure you're going to be a bit nervous about things, but if you are comfortable and relaxed the muscles will experience less resistence and not be as likely to hurt when stretching.
In short: a great big maybe, it all depends on the person.
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True.
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depends on the size of the guy's dick! and if you masterbate!
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well i am still a virgin but some of my friends did and they say it does but about 10 mins into it it feels good
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true, it's quite an unhappy stab right in the vagina. There's a membrane in there called the hymen that grows constantly, I suppose like the cuticles of your nails. It's stretchy but when attacked by a penis, it tears and is rather uncomfortable. It's the sort of pain where you yell, reach up and smack the guy, saying "OW jesus CHRIST that hurt!!"
It goes away in a few minutes but it's pretty sore for a couple of days. If you wait a time to have sex again, it'll grow back. That whole crock of shit about how virgins are so lovely because they're "tight" is referring to the hymen, and a girl who allows it to grow back on its own will still have that "virgin feel". How disgusting.
In any case, it probably won't kill you, but unprotected sex will, so for the love of god and all that is holy, get a condom. It's not the boy's responsibility. It's yours. They're not too expensive. Do me a favor and use protection so my taxes don't go to pay for your bastard child.
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It totally varies from person to person. Some people think it hurts, and some don't.
Hope that helps.
Kortni*
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Ive heard that too, and im wondrin the same thing...
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yes its true -me
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This question has been asked before... check the one below yours in the "Sex" category for your answer.
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Yes, the pain is so excruciating that it can often cause death.
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