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Q: Hi I am a fourteen year old girl. Last December I read a paragraph about depersonilization disorder and I've heard if you keep thinking about it you will eventually 'get' the disorder. Long story short, I worried about getting this disorder for about nine months but I haven't had any of the symptoms and I really don't want to 'get' this disorder. How do I forget about this disorder? I am healthy but I'm always worried something is wrong with me. How can I build my confindence?

You may not have this disorder, but I would recommend talking to a therapist about your anxiety over being sick or having something wrong with you. Putting yourself through that kind of anxiety and stress all the time is definitely not good for you and it would be super beneficial for you to learn how to cope with and process your feelings. (: Best of luck to you and try to relax!

Q: I broke up with my girlfriend and she still loves me, but I don't have any feelings for her and I met someone else who I'm very happy with. I need some good songs to tell my ex that I'm done with her, please help!

"It's a beautiful day" by Michael Buble is an amazing song about not having feeling for your ex anymore. (:

Q: My daughter is 4 years old. She has purple eyes. Is this normal? Will this change as she gets older? What does it mean?

Violet or purple colored eyes are the rarest color, but there's no reason to be alarmed. Perhaps someday we'll see your daughter on the silver screen; Elizabeth Taylor was coveted for her violet eye color. It may change back to blue as she gets older, but for now just enjoy your child's beautiful eyes! (:

Q: my nephew just got an mp3 player for his birthday and we can't figure out how t down load songs on it. How do you down load songs on an Mp3 Player ?
what sites are legal to use ? where can you get free songs for your MP3 player ? Thanks.

A few really great sites to use are aimini.net or even 4shared.com. They are legal to use because they're music sharing websites. The browser he uses for the internet will scan the files before he downloads them to ensure no viruses find their way onto his computer, but I have been using both sites for more than 2 years now on my personal laptop and have NEVER had any problems. I hope he finds all the music he likes, and happy belated birthday! (:

Q: I'm a thirteen-year-old girl, and I have a major crush on a guy who I met at a place called Camp Stevens over a year ago. I really need to get over him, but I can't.

Here's what happened: Last year at camp, we were good friends, but I started having feelings for him. I was embarrassed and didn't want him to find out. But right before we left, he told me that he liked me. I hugged him and said I liked him back. But I wasn't able to get any of his contact information.

Even after that week at camp was over, I still liked him. I wanted to have a way to remember him, so I wrote a novel about our week together at Camp Stevens.

I just went back to Camp Stevens a few weeks ago, and he wasn't there. I cried for a while, and my experience at camp this year wasn't as fun because I was thinking of him the whole time.

I miss him so much, and I would give anything to see him again. It seemed like we were perfect for each other -- we have lots in common, and he is so sweet and thoughtful. But there is no way I can see him again, and I have to get over him. Sometimes, it is very hard to stop liking someone who you wrote a 140-page book about and think of every day.

If you have any advice on how to get over him, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

I know it stings like hell right now, but trust me when I tell you time will heal it. I know this sounds like a totally cliche answer, but it's true. You're at that wonderful/terrible age where your emotions are just going to run away with you sometimes. When I was your age, what really helped me get over heartbreak like this was to remember I was so young and I had my whole life ahead of me to fall for other guys. Sure I was going to get some scrapes and bruises, but it's worth it for the times when the guy catches you. (: Give yourself time to heal and don't let anyone tell you to "get over it already." They're not you, and only you know when you'll be ready for another guy. Good luck and take care!

Q: my boyfriend and i of 2 years (i'm 20 and he's 23) have had this problem before. going into a relationship with him, i kind of expected this to happen (he's in a local popular band, he's extremely good looking, tattoos, etc., so girls eat him up and from his past he's told me about he didn't mind the girls so much either).

well the first time, i saw he was texting an ex of his. from what i could see of scattered conversation, he must've sent a photo of his face on time because she commented on how he looked sad and he said he just woke up (ALSO, we live together, so he had to have been doing this right after waking up next to me. i think that's kind of messed up). he also one time sent her a close up picture of him in his cat shorts (it's a joke amongst our group of friends, there these funny shorts he'll wear sometimes) so it's not like a crotch shot or anything, just a close up of the pants and a bit of his leg, but still, why send that to her? and there was also a message about getting together to drink sometime, i cannot recall if he mentioned it or her but i remember the other agreeing anyways, so it still bothers me. well this eventually came up in the air and he just calmly explained he did not think it was that big of a deal, he doesn't think of things like that being bad and shady and he didn't even plan on getting drinks with her, he was just saying that to be nice. now, my boyfriend does for the most part have some lack-of-common-sense innocence about him at times, so i kind of brushed it under the rug and took it as he really was just being dumb about it.

but then, monthssss later, i got curious in seeing if he was still being dumb, and checked his facebook which is bad i know, but still. i got curious and found a conversation between him and this girl that basically conisted of him asking for boobs pics, he'd send photos of himself, she asked him to come over (though it said she lived in canada, so?), etc. i got so upset, shaking, crying that i just ran downstairs and outside and he ran out after asking what was wrong, where all i could do was yell at him to go upstairs and answer her back. he looked confused and went upstairs and just came down and started going on about how embarassing it was, that was an old conversation back from the days when he was kind of a manwhore, blahblah, he swears it was old. i rebuttled that there was no year in the date of the conversation, like how normally if it was the past years, it'd say november 8th, 2011, august 10th, 2010, etc. it just said september 2nd which means it was current, this month. he came back and said he re-added her (i checked his facebook, they became friends a couple months before this conversation, i have no idea if they were facebook friends previously like he said) so it just brought back up the old conversation, he doesn't know why there was no 2011 or older on it. once again, i let it slide, feeling stupid for freaking out. though i did go through old conversations of my own and if it was 2011 or older, it did say that. so in my gut i feel like he might be lying, but when i was still upset about it days later and couldn't stop thinking about it he got mad at me and told me he's said all he could say about it so he doesn't know what i want him to do. so i just shrugged it off.

NOW, this is once again months upon months later cause at this point we've exchanged "i love you"s for months now and we've never said that to anybody before, and i know for him that's something meaningful and he means it because he's had a bad past and issues with trust of his own with women, and he wouldn't say it if he doesn't mean it. but anyways. i just checked and he had nothing in his actual messages, but i went to his archives and there was about 15 "hi"'s to a bunch of different girls. most didn't respond, but the ones that did, some said that he'd have to text them tomorrow, they were going to bed (and there was no number in these conversations so already had it, im assuming?), he called one girl doll and she called him babe and gorgeous man and she talked about her maybe going on a jog in the woods somewhere and she wasn't sure if she'd be allowed and he replied with that she probably would, he's been there before nobody seemed to mind (which was a harmless comment until he said:) but you're pretty anyways so i'm sure they won't mind watching you jog. some girls sent him their number and there was no reponse on his part unless deleted, but now i WHO KNOWS if he has it, if he just texts those ones. not me and it's extremely unsettling.

like these conversations aren't horrific, but still if we've had spouts over this in the past and he knows it upsets me, you think he'd stop even bothering to conversate with girls (and these girls are the kind he always says are sluts and just stupid people he wouldn't bother to talk with). but the "babe" and "doll" comments bother me cause right after i read these i was just sitting near him in a room and he kept calling me "doll" and it was just grossing me out.

then this morning i was texting someone and he made a comment about it being another man and i was kidding and hinting and said,"yeah, he's a "GORGEOUS MAN"." and he got mad and said girls have done that to him before (he always goes on about how he knows if a girls being shady, so he's gotten mad at my actions before even though i tell him who all my guy friends are and i don't even talk to any of them anymore cause it bothers him, my boyfriend's paranoid).

do i have reason to be upset? suspecting? i feel like i somewhat do, but i just feel so dumb, whenever i confront him and he just makes it seem like it's no big deal. in my head it seems so much more than that. i just think if he's been cheated on (i know he would never pyshically cheat on me) multiple times and he knows what looks shady, etc. then he should know that what i think he's doing looks shady and that he should respect that and stop messaging girls.

I kind of agree with the first adviser but I do differ on the fact of whether you should be suspicious about if he's cheating or not. when a guy is talking to other girls and gets upset with you for talking to other guys but defends himself while he does the exact same thing, that's a hallmark indicator of cheating. That doesn't mean he is cheating, but i would just keep that in mind. But I do agree with the fact that if you can't see him talking to girls without cheating on you, then he isn't the one. Jealousy is normal because he's your guy and you don't want those girls slobbering all over him but there's simply always going to be girls that don't respect the boundaries of a relationship. Instead of worrying about them, just stick to deciding how well you know him and whether you honestly think he would step out on you or not. I hope everything turns out all right for you! good luck

Q: so, i have scoliosis, so that has cause me to have a big rib hump on my back. i havent been to the doctors for it yet.. so i feel really self concious in any type of clothes that isnt really loose. i always wear a sweater over everything so people dont notice, and i always wear a backpack thing too. So for prom, idk how im going ot wear a dress and not be self concious or made fun of. idk how to hide it, or what to do /: please help.

I also have scoliosis but mine has not reached the point to where it is visible yet. My advice to you would be that you should just take pride in yourself. You're beautiful and nobody else has the right to tell you anything different. If anyone wants to make a rude comment to you, tell them you're sorry that they don't know how to enjoy themselves on such a memorable night without being a jerk. You deserve to enjoy your night. Remember that words are just words and although they can hurt, the way you rise above them will affect how you feel in the end.

Q: Ok, so my best friend and I are REALLY close. I'm never mean to her at all.
I was in English class, when the phone rang. My teacher answered it then said I had to go to the principal's office. I thought it had something to do with my best friend, because she didn't show up to class.
Well, when I entered his office I saw my best friend sitting down and he told me to take a seat next to her. He asked me if I had any idea why I was there and I said no. He said he would give me a few seconds to think about it and I still didn't know. Well, he told me that i've been mean to my best friend. So, she told the principal that I did.
Well, she hates these 4 girls, and I do to and they hate me. I think they forced her to tell the principal lies.

Well, he told me to somehow make it up to my best friend, but I don't know how. He said she won't forgive me if I just say sorry. So, did I screw this up? Did I mess up our friendship for good? How do I make this up to her?

You should MOST DEFINITELY tell the principal about these girls. Don't accuse them, but let your principal know that they are bullying people. Most schools have an anti bullying policy. You shouldn't be made to apologize for something you weren't aware of. Have you asked your best friend what she is accusing you of exactly? In what way were you mean to her? If it's something you actually did then take responsibility for it. But if it's nothing you've done, you need to have a responsible adult like your principal or parents involved in fixing the situation.

Q: I wish to thank God for Switzerland and the people there who recently voted to make the unsuccessful treatment of depression a qualification for their physician assisted program. I intend to use it. I will not be leaving any family behind because God took them all from me and left me with severe depression for the last 6 years and horrible back pain. I believe this is God's way of giving me a way out. Please tell me how this is wrong? No responses from born agains because they are not saved ad will not be going to heaven anyway.

This is a difficult question. I cannot necessarily tell you it is wrong. This is your conscious decision to end your life. I would however not say that God has provided you with a "way out". By the way I'm agnostic so I'm not trying to offend or generalize the Christian faith (or any faith that you are a follower of). I am well read on my verses however, coming from a religious family. God as I understand him takes no pity on quitters. Essentially you are quitting your life. You have your reasons which are undeniably acceptable reasons. I would urge you to at least wait a month and try to see through the pain you have had thrust upon you. Perhaps God did plan this for you to make you stronger. I have gone through some hard times, none as difficult as yours though. But what helped me keep my wits was noticing the small things that held beauty around me and keeping a journal of these things. I am in no way suggesting that this would help you the same way it helped me but I do hope I have inspired some way that you could create a little hope for yourself. If not, I respect your decision. I hope you find the answer you are looking for. Good luck in your endeavors.

Q:
I'm being pissed off because of my oily face I wash my face using dove soap so of course the oil will gone but in few minutes the oil is there again and the oil on my nose never gone even if I wash it with soap. I also get painful bumps around my nose and chin and I've used every acne product you can think of even from my dermatologist.

well i'm not sure about the painful bumps, but one thing you can do to reduce the oil is to try to keep from touching your face as much as possible. also speaking form personal experience, rice paper has saved me from an oily face many times. but there are also other oil absorbing products from companies such as nutrogena that I would also recommend. I have also seen marked improvement in oil reduction and the general state of my face by using formula 10.0.6 they have a line of products that are fresh and have actually helped me and I have tried everything right up to prescribed washes and lotions. They sell online on ulta.com and also have their own website. http://www.formula1006.com/
sorry if I seem like a rambling ad. I really hope I have helped out in some way because I feel your pain. Good Luck!

Q: me and my boyfriend of a year and a half recently broke up. we both would like to be together, but due to the fact that we're in two different worlds right now (hes in college and im in high school) we mutually decided its best for us to be apart, and we're both okay with that. i'm going to the same college as him next year and we will probably get back together eventually, but right now we have both recognized that we're single. he said if i hook up with other people its fine and that he wouldnt hate me and he wouldnt stop loving me blah blah blah all that stuff. i know it would make him upset if i did, but i feel like if were going to be broken up i shouldnt have to feel tied down (but i do). do you think its wrong for me to hook up with other people if theres chances of us getting back together in the future? and if yes, should i/how should i tell him if i do hook up with someone else? and please don't say "oh if you really loved him you wouldnt want to hook up with anyone else!" because at least in my situation that is extremely false. if things with my ex could work out right now, i would not have any interest in anyone else. thanks

well honestly it comes down to whether you would feel comfortable hooking up with someone else or not. and it also goes both ways. if he extends that courtesy to you then you should extend the same courtesy to him. If he doesn't want to hook up with anyone, that's his deal. But you may also have to consider the fact that he may hook up with other girls. If that makes you uneasy then tell him you would like both of you to stay single but committed. If you're all right with that then we're back to where we started: whether you're comfortable or not. As for the way to tell him, I would just ask whether he wants to know or not. If he doesn't, don't worry. If he does, ask him in what way he would like you to tell him. I hope I helped you out! Good Luck!

Q: All my friends have a facebook. I really want one, but my mom, dad, and step dad say that I can't have one. How can I have one secretly (they all have facebooks) without them knowing?
fanks;)

I wholeheartedly agree with mannequin. You will only cause so much trouble for yourself if you hide things from them and they find out. The best thing to do is to sit down with your family and have a talk about why you think you should be allowed to have one and ask why they are so set on you not having one. Sometimes all it takes is a little communication to show your parents that you are mature enough to do things they wouldn't have approved of before. If they still say no and they give you valid reasoning as to why, then accept it. It's not the end of the world. Just because some of your friends have facebook does not mean you're any less of a friend to them. It's really not that big of a deal. I'm sure that in time you will be allowed. Just be patient and prove to your parents that you can handle responsibilities and make smart decisions.

Q: what can i do to save her from leaving me have 3 children together and when i go to talk to her about me being clingy she gets really mad at mewe dont cuddle anymore she hardly likes me touch her and when we did make love she just lays there like im not even there please help me.....

I would let er know you're serious about staying with her. Let her know that even though you know she's unhappy that you're willing to do what it takes to make your relationship work. Seek counselling. You may have to go alone at first if she's not up to the idea but hopefully in time she will accompany you and learn how to break down the wall she has built up. It will take time and it will most certainly not improve overnight but all the while, let her know that you do love her and don't give up no matter how difficult it becomes.

Q: Idk why but I keep farting I'm a girl btw. Its really weird. I bet ur problably laughing but it's serious. I always poop too.... ALOT. I need help

Maybe go see a doctor and tell him your concerns. I would also recommend keeping a food journal to see if maybe your diet is affecting how much you have gas or poop. Other than that I'm not sure how you would go about fixing it.

Q: Okay so last month february 09-16 i was on my period. This month March 6-8 i was sexually active..I am never ever late.. Could i be pregnant? because i was suppose to have my period a couple days ago??

I would give it about a week or two and try not to stress because that can make your period late. If you haven't had your period by then, visit your local women's health clinic or a family planning clinic to have a certified pregnancy test. it may cost more but there's no price on certainty.

Q: For the past two days, I've had this extreme longing to tell my boyfriend that I want to have a future with him. I was trying to tell him all night on Friday, but every time we stopped kissing and had a silence, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Yesterday, we went on a picnic by the bay and went for a walk downtown. We went into a secluded area and kissed, and I knew this was the time to say it. He held me close and I put my mouth close to his ear, and he could tell I was hesitating on something. "You're thinking..." he said. He always knows me so well. I told him I had something to say, but the words were stuck in my throat. "Are you breaking up with me?" he asked. I managed to choke out, "No...it's the complete opposite." He looked up and stood up and hugged me tight and said, "You know we can't do that now." I could feel tears rimming my eyes. I was disappointed in myself. I wanted to tell him how much I love him and how much he makes me so happy and how much I want him in my future, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. I was too anxious. I wanted it to be special, but I was so cowardly and now he knows and my surprise confession is ruined. I feel selfish and stupid. I cried when he dropped me off home. I was just so intent on telling him face to face. It was so much easier in my imagination. Am I right to act like this? Is it okay to feel disappointed and upset that I ruined my own surprise?

I wanted to tell him everything I feel and how amazing my future would be with him... I was thinking of putting it in a letter but I thought it'd be more meaningful face to face.

if you feel as though it was "ruined" by the way you handled it face to face then maybe going ahead with your letter idea would help. usually it's easier to get ideas out on paper and it would probably be easier for you if he read it and knew the whole truth instead of not knowing why you're so choked up and being left in the dark. I hope everything works out for you though. Good luck!

Q: I Hate My Body, And I Think I'm Fat. I've Been Starving Myself, But Then I Break Through And Eat. Please Tell Me How I Can FULLY Starve Myself For A Long Time. (Slso, I Don't Know If I'm Anorexic)

this is not the place to ask a question like this and you should NEVER ask a question like this. you need to find some help. Starving your body causes it to feed on its own muscles and makes your body extremely weak and is so detrimental to your health. You're basically asking us how you can kill yourself slowly. Please go see a doctor or a family member or someone who can help you.
P.S. that's low to give my answer a low rating just because you don't want to hear the truth. You shouldn't be harming yourself and that's a fact. Anyone who tells you anything otherwise is an enabler and should be ashamed to help you hurt yourself and the people around you who care about you. I hope you get the help you so desperately need.

Q: Okay well I have know this girl since first grade and i have pretty much told her every single one of my secrets but this past year she has been blowing me off and doing stuff with guys that she knew i liked and actually got high and gave a bj to one of the guys oi have liked for years and she only met that night. And its getting to the point where idk if i want to be her friend anymore because yeasterday we were supposed to go to the mall with me but she out of no where cancelled and wouldn't tell me why, then i went on facebook and i saw that the girl who was my ex-bff bc she told my secrets, posted on her facebook saying that they had such a good time to day and that she was now over at her house. then i texted her and told her i had to talk to her tomorrow and its serious and she replied no fuck you. At this point, i just don't know what to do anymore and sometimes i have this horrible feeling around her, but if i stop being friends with her, she is the type of person to spread all my secrets and if i stay friends with her she will make my life miserable. and its not like i can get away with her because i have 3 classes with her and she is my only 'friend' in any of them.

Don't take this offensively please but it sounds like you're maybe 13 up to 16? If I'm correct on that then please hear me out. Cut this girl out of your life. it may seem like the end of the world if she spreads your secrets but the people that truly care about you are still going to be by your side. by letting her treat you this way, you're letting her know that now she can get away with it. You're worth more than a friendship like that. Sometimes in life you have to let some friends go no matter how long you have known them simply because they have chosen to go down a path that you know isn't right for you. If you would rather try to salvage the friendship then maybe try again to get her to have a private conversation with you and let her know that all of her behavior recently is hurting you and ask her why she's being that way to you if you two are such good friends.

Q: My brother thinks that this guy thinks I'm cute but...

This kid has been staring me a lot lately but never tries talking to me. He gave one of my close friend a flashdrive and told him to blame me for throwing it at him. He did this twice. I honestly don't know why someone would think I'm cute because Im going through that ackward phase where you turn kinda ugly... DO you guys know why he is doing this? Im 13/f. Thanks.

I'm 19 f and honestly, it's because he's probably going through that awkward phase where he thinks it's cool to be a douche bag. Sometimes it's because a guy is waiting for you to talk to him first so the only way he can think to grab your attention is to be immature. If you want, you could try talking to him and asking what his deal is, but I would just tell you to ignore it because getting upset over it just gives him the satisfaction of knowing he's annoyed you. Also, don't ever think of yourself as ugly. Nobody else's opinion of you matters more than your opinion and unless you're hitler or something, I'm sure you're beautiful inside and out. Keep your head up and don't let others get you down.

Q: Hi, senior in high school. I know people use this excuse all the time but I promise you, my teacher is the worst and he is the reason I am failing chemistry. He can't teach to save his life. I have a 33% partially due to his terrible teaching and my lab partner failed every lab we ever did. The quarter is over on the 27 of this month. I am leaving for Europe on the 29 and he told me to get three chapters ahead so I won't be behind when I get back. I don't know how I can get 3 chapters ahead, when I'm failing what we are on now. So, my question is, I got accepted into my dream college, if I passed chemistry the first and second quarter, fail the third and pass the fourth, will I have to retake the course over the summer because I won't have enough credits? Will I not be able to go to college? I'm having a mini panic attack about this, I don't know what to do!

Well the first move should definitely be to go to the principal or a counselor for this. If a majority of your class is failing and this is a school wide problem, they will become your allies in a situation like this. The next one would be to talk to your parents. If you make reasonably decent (As or Bs) in your other classes except for this one, having them voice their concerns to your school will only help your case. I know this is also a part you probably don't want to hear, but you'll most likely be expected to put forth even more effort than usual just to prove that it is indeed not your own fault. I've run into this problem a few times before and trust me, you run into it even more in college. Don't panic too much, just seek some help on getting it all sorted out. Good luck!

bio

I'm a 21 year old young lady. I love helping people and strive daily to make a positive impact on stranger's and friend's lives. I believe in equality for everyone and do not form prejudiced opinions on a person without knowing their character personally. No question is too personal or inappropriate for me. I promise to do my best to give a satisfactory answer to anyone seeking my advice.