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Originally from England, live in Seattle, WAOccupation:
musicianAge:
23Member Since:
May 5, 2011Answers:
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August 17, 2011Visitors:
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about
Hey there! No need to let you know my entire life story, but I'm a psych buff with a good ear. I won't pretend to have absolute intel on everything, because I'm not a narcissist ;) But I can tell you I have a lot of knowledge and insight into mental health, relationships, sex, bisexuality, pets, and am good at listening to any problem and giving the best insight I'm capable of.
By the way, the picture above is not me, as I am not Hayley Williams from Paramore. I look quite a lot like her in that picture, and am a musician. I choose to retain a certain level of anonymity here, so that you won't feel uncomfortable about asking questions, but certainly if you want to find out more about me, just ask me for my email or IM.
Ask away!
advice
I have really low self confidence.. I need some help or advice on how to be confident in myself. There are times when I look in the mirror and think i'm really pretty, but then I go out and see other gorgeous girls and then I think i'm nothing compared to them. I know its bad to compare yourself to other people because there will always be someone better than you.. but I can't help it. It really gets to me. It affects me so much that sometimes I think my boyfriend will dump me for a prettier girl, even though he says i'm the most beautiful girl ever.
Its not just the looks though. I have low self confidence talking to people. My friends can go up to a stranger and start a conversation so easily.. but whenever I try, it seems so hard and I just never get that confidence.
I'll be starting college in a few days and I'd really like to boost my confidence by then. Any help??
This is going to sound really odd. But self confidence/good self esteem takes a while to build. And strangely, the best method while you're trying to develop your self esteem, is effectively "fake it till you make it". If you act confident, you will get a positive reaction from people, you'll get more friends, you'll get more attention, which in turn will help your self esteem and self image. It really is a positive circle of events. I hear what you're saying, its difficult to start conversations or be confident, but make yourself, fake it. Eventually, you'll realize you are no longer faking confidence - you're just a confident person.
Good luck! ^-^
Can anyone give me advice on my hair coz I was wondering if I can go swimming tomorrow in the local swimming pool. But ive bleached my hair blonde yesterday night. I what to know if it will turn green or if anything will happen?? please help me!!
You need to wait to go swimming. Also, did you just bleach it, or is there a color over that? If it is just bleach, it may well turn green anyway, but if there is a color on top of that, or a toner, it is less likely to. Either way, don't go swimming for a little while.
my bf want s sex i'm12 year old girl and he's 16 i'm not ready he would touch me and kiss my kneck. I would say stop but would say babe relax. i say stop he says ok but he always bugs me about sex and once he tried to take off my shirt. i love him but not sexually. what should i do?
You should tell him he either needs to accept the fact that you're 4 years younger and are not ready nor do you want to have sex yet (You really need to wait a good 6 years, ideally) or that you will break up with him. It is terrible he is insisting you do this, he is 4 years older than you, it is different for him. I do not think you should keep dating him, I think you should focus on your friends/family, or find a new boyfriend more your age.
Good luck sweetie. Feel free to message me if you have any more questions
My family constantly tells me Im fat. It's really starting to affect me. I think I look ok I'm not perfect but I'm not a whale. My family on the other hand makes me feel like a whale....it's not like my mom and dad are skinny. Anyway is there a way to lose weight fast? I'm 5'5 and 145 pounds. I'm starting to feel like crap:/ thank you:) oh and don't tell me I'm perfect how I am because if I were I wouldn't get called fat by those closest to me and those love me.
I can't believe the two people below just gave you advice on how to lose weight and not point out something important -
5'5 and 145 is NOT overweight. Its within the healthy weight range according to body mass index, and I know many people at that weight and height and it is a GOOD look for them. Most likely thats where your body weight naturally falls.
If you want to be healthier, for you, and not for your horrible judgmental family (honestly, that implies this is more about their issues than yours. Maybe you're attractive in a way they never were. Maybe its something else.) then work out more, but theres no reason to start starving yourself when you are already at a healthy weight.
Don't listen to them, and look the way you want to look.
Working out tones your body, which is more important than anything else anyway.
I am a 26yr old Female and my baby sister is 21yrs old and this is her second time living with me and i am fed up, she has no visible goals and i now have a 4month old son and my fiance' is ready to move in.She has been back and forth between my house n a friends house and recently got a job but quit after a week.....what do i do ,because when i try to talk to her she always accuses me of not caring about her or not being there for her. i dont want to hurt her so can u please tell me how to handle this????
Key point of yours - she QUIT. She wasn't fired.
Sometimes people fall on hard times, and frustrating as it is, you have to be there for them, and house them, because its not their fault. The economy can suck, and finding a stable job can be really difficult.
But she quit. Unacceptable. She didn't have an apartment or a situation where she was able to quit. She didn't like it, so she quit. Too bad, its time to grow up.
If I were you, I wouldn't just kick her out. But I would explain to her, firmly, but nicely, that she is to find a job immediately, and she is not to quit it, and that she will be expected to move into an apartment/room share situation (that can cost as little at 200 a month) as soon as possible, which is like a couple weeks work, or a month. If she fights you on it, say you're sorry but you have made up your mind, and the alternative is moving out immediately.
what and how is a easy way to die quick without pain if u wont tell me sumbody else will
The fact that you are asking on here, apposed to just say, googling it, means that either this is a cry for help, or a troll attempt.
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume its a cry for help.
In which case, you know what I'm going to say already. A good percentage of people frequently reach a point where they feel like life isn't worth living. For some, its a moment. For others, its months. It can depend. Regardless, giving up your life is never the answer. Seek therapy, medication, etc. Seek support where you have it. Check yourself into a rehab/suicide prevention place if needed.
Regardless, keep fighting. Always. Life can only get better, no?
Good luck. xx
I recently began to consider attending a school for Massage Therapy. I would like to know approximately how long it may take (at a minimum and a maximum)to become certified and licensed as a Massage Therapist. If it helps, I live in the Chicago-Land area.
A year, give or take. Depends on how qualified you'd like to be, if you want to know any specialty massage, what school, etc. But about that amount of time. ^-^
okay so me and this guy have a love hate relationship, i hate that i love him; like the song i hate that i love you by rihanna... what are some other songs like that?
thanks
kaaitlyn
release me - agnes (that ones a great one for what you're talking about)
rhianna - stupid in love (though maybe not, its a little on the doom and gloom side)
My boyfriend of 1 and half years was confused about what he wanted, and all he kept saying was "Im confused, i love you and thats why we cant be together :/" No, not a long distance relationship, No,both our families know and are completely okay, he just doesnt want me and doesnt know how to end it basically right? im not an idiot, im just wondering. thanks. =/
Sounds to me like he's wondering what else is out there. (Sorry to be so blunt.)
It means, he loves you, but hes bored with his life and wonders if maybe thats cause of you. Maybe he's even depressed. Hes considering exploring his options but dosent want to lose you, if he can't find better. Plus he loves you.
That'd be my assessment. I could be wrong. But frankly, if he's "confused" or "unsure" about you after being together for a year and a half, then you can do better.
Tell him you don't want to be with someone confused. That you know what you want and you want someone who knows what they want.
Most likely he'll beg you to stay. Your choice as to what to do. Good luck sweetie.
Ok so My boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 months, when we had our first kiss i felt something i never felt before, im guessing that's the spark, So we just kissed like normal (not making out ) then after 2 months of dating we decided to start making out, every since we started making out i dont feel the spark .... Is this normal, I love kissing him and all but i havent kissed him normally for a month now :/ i havent felt the spark for a month, should i tell him or... Can i make there be a spark when we make out ?
How do you feel about him? About your relationship with him? kissing aside. Do you feel comfortable and safe with him? Do you like spending time with him?
Quite frequently the initial massive spark of passion and excitement fades into sweet comfortability. Then you have to work at keeping it exciting.
This, specifically, is nothing to worry about if you're willing to try, the question is do you love him, do you want to be with him, do you feel happy with him?
Answer that question and you'll have your answer.
ok so me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and a half. were both 17 we go to the same schoool. He just recently started working alot and i dont get to talk to him and i find my self cryinggg because i hate change and im used to talking to him 24/7 and i dont want to be clingy and i keep crying cuz i feel like he doesnt care and idk what to do anymore. i feel really depressed. please help me.
Change can be hard, if you're scared of it.
And it kind of sounds like to me, that you're afraid of something bigger, that you see any change in your relationship/life as a bad thing. Its not. As long as he can create a healthy balance between time with you and his job, then he's not doing anything wrong, he's just living his life, with you, while doing something important.
If he's ignoring you and spending all his time doing something else, then you can complain, but until then, I would just say find something to do, while he's doing that. Are you social? Go out! Have a friend over. Read a book. Volunteer. Work, if you're not.
Don't stress. Nothings changed, you're loved, but everybodys got responsabilities. ^-^
my boyfriend just ended our year and a half realtionship over a text message telling me he lost feelings for me and he isn't feelin it anymore and all this and that. he had been treating me like he didnt care, but his response was im just not affectionate like that i never have been. and his sister and parents would say yeah he's never been romantic. anyways, we broke up and we went from being together all the time to nothing. not to mention, we work together. although i am moving on, i just think about the day he'll come back and say he made a mistake. but im wondering if since we still see each other at work that will be a bad thing? by this i mean will he not even miss me cause he sees me a couple times a week, or will this be harder for him because he has to see me still to move on?
This isn't going to be what you want to hear.
The reality is, unless you're about to say you'd stopped trying, or caring, or putting your energy into being a good girlfriend, he took a good hard look at what you had to offer, tried it out, and ultimately rejected it.
That being said, even if he reconsidered, he made the right choice, because there are thousands of guys out there for whom you will be perfect, the sun, the moon, and all that.
I also am now going to ask you how much your job means to you. Is it one you never want to leave? Is it important to your career?
If the answer to those questions is no, start looking for another job. Or ask for a change in shifts so you don't have to work with him. Otherwise all you will do is torture yourself, and it will affect your work life.
This is the downside to dating a coworker. (Been there, done that.)
I know it sucks. But I'd use this as an opportunity to change anything in your life that you want to, see it as a new start.
And forget him, because he rejected everything you had to offer, and I'd bet thats a lot.
Good luck sweetie.
19/m
I am trying to find some fun sex toys I can use by myself or with my boyfriend. I know a little bit about cock rings and butt plugs, but I dont know a lot about any of it. Does anybody have any suggestions on things I should look into?
All you need to do is go to a good sex shop.
Not sure wherabouts you live, as you didnt specify, but theres always some in the area (you can google it) and personally I always liked Babeland and Lovers Package. Go there, ask questions. The staff are trained to know what they're talking about. They've probably tried half of it cause they get a discount ;)
Aside from yes, obviously cock rings and butt plugs and all that good stuff, theres toys to stimulate prostate, theres the "wevibe" which is great for the guy and the girl, and theres always a strap on...(jk) ;) Good luck.
What ever job you'll give mr will be good because I want one and I will clean up
Clean my house. I won't pay you.
Troll.
I went to a club last night and was dancing with this guy. We exchanged phone numbers and were texting. One of the texts he sent me read "I see you was trying to give me work :)" What the heck does this mean??
I can only assume he was trying to say that you make him work for it?
Maybe the context of the previous texts and the conversation at the club would help ^-^
My best friend told me he doesn't want to be friends anymore. We have been involved like we made out and gone to second base. But then he went to San Antonio. I had a really big crush on him for the longest time. Then he tells me about this girl Jessica whom he likes and use to work with. And i tell him about this guy ii met named Shawn and i try to be a good sport, and tell him i am happy for him, but i was mad. Then he says to call him, and i did, but he doesn't answer, then he calls me back. He tells me i am special to him and i am like his twin, because we're so alike in many ways. Well the next day we had a phone conversation about how I went to someone's house and got high with them, and i was scared, and he seemed to be understanding. Well i get a missed call from him and then i call him back and he said i called because i don't think we should be friends anymore, and i was just like um okay? then he said bye and hung up and i texted him asking him why and he said because your a liar. Then i called again and asked him what did i lie about. He said i was standing in front of his house. and i was like what are you talking about? i was in my bed and really upset. I called him today and texted him asking him why he was mad at me. and i left him a voice mail saying i wanted to talk like mature adults but he hasn't called or texted me. i don't know what to do. and i can't figure out why he's mad at me? i thought maybe this was a joke or something but he hasn't said anything. what should i do?
I take it you werent at his house.
I couldn't tell you how, but somehow he seems to have got the idea that when you said you were somewhere else, you were at his house.
He clearly will hang up on you/not listen to you if you call. But very very few people will ignore an email if sent. They will read it, whether they reply or not. So my suggestion to you would be to email him, and tell him you don't know what he's talking about, tell him everywhere you were, maybe even give a suggestion of someone who could confirm you were, and ask him where he got the idea that you would ever lie to him. Say that even if he dosent want to be your friend anymore, you really want to understand it so could he at least email you with the details that made him feel this way.
I'm sorry sweetie, this sucks. Do your best to get him to listen, and if he really won't then cut your losses, you've done nothing wrong.
I'm just wondering, is it against the law to hit a girl? Because there is this girl in my class who i wanna smack, would i get in trouble? If it helps i live in Ontario, Canada. Thanks
The law is not the issue here.
Don't hit people. Violence is never the answer.
If you don't like her, ignore her.
i am a male from pakistani want to fuck my mom she is really very sexy having large boobs
Either A) You are a freaking troll, in which case, grow up and get a life
or B) You have massive massive issues and we cannot provide you with the help you need here. Go see a therapist immediately.
I am 18 and female. I recently split up with my girl friend who i love to peices and we had to finish the relationship cuz she couldnt handle the distance cuz she got told go live with her nan, i dont know if i should fight to keep her or let her go and move on? any suggestions would be greatful
How long were you together?
Here's what I would say. Plenty of long distance relationships don't work. At the same time, my sister was with her girlfriend for a year, and then moved to the UK, while her girlfriend still lives in Seattle. They have been faithful, and are still together 3 years later, and plan for her girlfriend to move to the UK.
It can go either way. It comes down to - are you willing to tough it out? To go through the pain of missing someone so much and not being able to reach out and touch someone. You both have to really want it to work for it to work. Doubts are natural, but you both have to really want it.
Also, you could temporarily set up some kind of open relationship agreement, still talk on the phone and see each other when you can as much as possible, but be allowed to date other people. If you really want to be with each other, those people will pale in comparison.
Hope this helps, good luck sweetie.
13/f
Is it weird to get aroused to the thought of someone hurting me? Not like beating me, but like during sex taking a knife and making little cuts just enough to where they bleed? I mean, im 13.... I really shouldn't have these thoughts. I also get aroused when i think of a guy... like dominating me. Its just weird. And i live in a house hold where if there's something wrong, and you need to go to a therapist of be on depression meds you get disowned and thrown out of the family. And you'll get sent to a far away school where you'll live there. Its happened to my sister betheny and my cousin Danny.... What should i do?
Okay, so heres the thing. While some might tell you that thats highly disturbing or not okay, it is. It sounds as if you just have a sexual preference. A lot of people like BDSM, and are big fans of the Dom/Sub concept. What you're telling me just implies to me you would be interested in some light BDSM when having sex, which is perfectly okay.
However. I believe that 13 is too young to be attempting to try and live out these fantasies. Wait a few years, then have sex, and then put your sexual preference to use. It dosent make you disturbed, you don't need therapy, and you don't even need to tell your family as your sexual preferences are your buisness.
However, it is my personal opinion that at 13, you should keep it all as fantasy for now. Think about it if you like. Just don't act on it for a couple years.