I am a female who has been through many things in life. I've made a few foolish choices; but have also made a few okay ones. I feel like hopefully the mistakes I've made or the experiences I've been through can help others avoid pain and/or heartache; so that's why I joined. I wished in life someone had shared their true experiences with me if they were similar and could help.
Most people telling me not to do something; had no idea what I was going through. It was like those y?, non-smoking commercials all over tv and you can tell the people behind them never picked up a cigarette or understand why you did. I've managed to quit; but the commercials still infuriate me.
So that's me. And, I'll try to help if I can.
Member Since: November 23, 2008
Answers: 30
Last Update: June 5, 2011
Visitors: 5265
Main Categories:
Music
Love Life
Friendship
View All
|
| |
Well i'm 22 and i've been with my bf for 2 years. I've always been insecure. Anyways my problem is that when we first started dating my friends wanted to meet him, so i introduced them to him. One of my friends then introduced him to one of my ex gf's (i'm bi by the way). Now long story short about me and my ex gf is that she cheated on me so i dumped her and never had anycontact with her sense i broke up with her. Anyways I was not around when my friend introduced him to my ex gf. So when i found out he was talking to her I started being insecure and scaed that he would cheat of me with her.
My bf constantly tells her our problems and when we fight (which is alot of the time) and she constantly butts in when he tells her whats going on in our relationship. I told him about it one time that he needs to shut his mouth because and none of her god damn busniess what we fight about or anything else for that matter, and his answer was "well i needed someone to talk to about us" Told him sure he could tell someone like one of his guy friends or something but NOT my ex gf. But he said he'll tell anyone he pleases which got me mad at him for a while. She gives him advice about us, which she has no right to because she always cheats on anyone she's with and as so many bf's and gf's at one time.
He told me yesterday that he was talking to her AGAIN for the second or third time this week, he told me that she called him baby. I'm not upset about that i'm just upset that she'll make moves on him and he'll go for it and cheat on me with her (onless she already has made moves on him and he hasn't told me about it).
Am i over reacting or do i have every right to be scared that there's a chance that he'll cheat on me with her?
Any advice on what I should do? (link)
|
No you're not overreacting. That situation is ridiculous and he is disrespecting you. But at 22, you kind of hang around losers not realizing there's so much more out there. All of those people around you suck. And you should realize that you can have nice people around you that you can trust and enjoy being around. If you have to watch your back all the time, you will regret wasting these years of your life with these people.
Do yourself a favor. If there's any other state you thought about living in, or something you wanted to study or a job you wanted to try doing in your life, please do so right now. If you and your guy are arguing all the time and he's talking to your ex about it, it's just highly disrespectful and nonsensical. If your ex were a man, would he be doing the same thing? No, because he's a chump. I know you might not believe me now, but he is.
Trust me when I tell you, there are great people out there for you to date, and you should not waste time with people that make you feel unhappy. There's just no need for it. The world has far too much to offer. And when you meet someone great, you're going to be like, I can't believe I stayed around those jerks for 5 years dealing with that uncomfortable situation.
Try Eharmony. They match you based on compatibility. You will probably find happiness there.
|
im 27 years old mother of 2 kids why do i get angry
(link)
|
Well you probably do not have the tools to deal with your kids. It's funny, you go to school your whole life, yet there are no junior high or high school classes on parenting or maintaining good credit/money management. Your whole adult life is practically dictated by these things, yet you have no idea what to do when you get out there.
Children are hard to deal with if you have no idea what is motivating their behavior. There are some great courses online that teachers take called CARE courses. http://www.carecourses.com/Care_Courses_Catalog.htm Each one is like $50 or so, and it's just a book with a test in the end. They teach you about discipline and child psychology, and anything kids that you might need to learn. They books are really easy to understand, and quick to read.
If that's too expensive, check out these classes and websites that are free, or you only have to pay if you want a certificate:
http://www.fight4kids.com/Parenting_Classes.htm
http://www.parentingideas.org/articles/discipline/free-on-line-parenting-courses/
http://www.babycenter.com/big-kid?intcmp=Nav_Global_Bigkid
You will find that you will have endless patience for your children once you realize that they are not "being bad," or "being smart," and that they look for your guidance so much. They are truly little miracles. Sometimes they just do not have the tools to express themselves.
|
|
my extended family ignores me at family parties. i dont know what i did (link)
| |
Without more background, I'm not sure how to respond. It sounds like something happened to change their view of you. Do you have something strange in your background that they could have learned of through a background check or talking with people in town? Are you doing something secret that you think no one is aware of? Is there a gossip in the family that may be spreading rumors? Have you changed your appearance, job, state of residence or something else significant?
|
My mom, her friend, and I are all tryingto think of ways to make some extra money. My mom and her friend both work in the health field, but they both only work part time And it'd be too much to work full time. I'm 18, about to be 19 and am
a college student.
Any ideas for extra money? (link)
| |
You can write web content articles. There are tons of jobs in that field. You can sell Avon or Silpatha Jewelry. Makeup and jewelry does especially well on college campuses. You can also do nanny and child care part time.
|
2 days ago i was at my boyfriends house (we r both 18 and have been together for 2 years) and he was studying for some upcoming test. I was getting bored so I started talking to him asking him questions like "how is the studying going" etc. I didn't mean to get on his nerves and I didn't know I was annoying him. Then all of a sudden he just snapped saying "SHUT UP B****" and pinned me on the wall and was about to punch me but at the last second moved his hand and punched the wall instead leaving a hole in the wall.
I was scared and I felt the tears coming but I don't like him to see me cry so I told him "maybe I should leave so I dont interfere with his studying,and I didn't mean to make u mad." So I left and when I got home I just went to bed crying and like 15 minutes later he knocked on my door and was apologizing saying "he was just stressed out, I wasn't the reason why he got mad and he would never treat me like that and he was just really stressed and he loves me so much and doesn't want to lose me etc." he gave me flowers Chocolates and a stuffed bear and the apologizing went on for about 30 minutes and I did eventually forgive him because I feel that if I wasn't bothering him he wouldn't have done that and he's normally a very calm person. But now i'm so scared of him, I don't know why but now he just scares me and I'm always nervous around him. I don't know if I made the right choice forgiving him or if I made the wrong choice
(link)
|
Get away from him. He is becoming violent, and he's either cheating on you or comparing you to someone in his mind already. That's why something so random got on his nerves.
If you guys stay together, things will get really bad. And just so you know, by your staying with him, he's already lost respect for you. But he might also do you a favor and leave you anyway because he's already comparing you in his mind to someone else or some other ideal. Maybe his friends say he should be with a different type of girl or something. But there's something significant on his mind if this is the first time he's hit you in 2 years of your being together.
The only other thing it could be is that he's been emotionally abusive to you for the past 2 years, and you did not include that part in your question, and his violence is escalating. So no matter what the reasons are for his behavior, you should still get away. He is violent and dangerous, and nothing waits for you down the road with him but private and public humiliation, wasted potential, and possibly prison or death. And yes it often gets that bad. Do not forgive him.
|
|
I am from india. My boyfriend is unhappy with me. All I can do is cry everyday. I dint treat well in the beggining. Gave my friends more importance n all..I cheated on him once and begged for forgiveness. He said forgave me. But everytime we fight he brings it up. Feels like shit.why is he still with me if he can't forget wat I did. He says he can't sleep without drinking every nite,make him very unhappy and disturb him a lot. But he says he can't be without me. I'm trying to change to make him, us happy but all he says is he's not happy with me. It hurts so much!! I really don't wanna live a life thinking how unhappy I made him. If I die maybe in my next life atleast ican be a better person. When we started going out he was the nicest guy ever! Then I changed. God knows why. I was really rude to him amd fought a lot. And he changed after that too seeing me all differnet.we both are so fuckn unhappy. He doesn't easily forget any small mistake I make. Anything I say by mistake also he'll fight with me. If there is any advice to make things normal again, please give me. Or else atlease tell me how to kill myself. Whatever I try I'm scared I'll end up alive and be a huge disgrace for my family.I really love him so much and I'd even die if my non existence makes him happy too. Its because of me he's like this now. I can never forgive myself. Never. (link)
|
Okay suicide is never the answer. Right now there are several things going on. For some reason, you were not happy with him, so you were unfaithful. He is staying with you either because he is codependent and afraid to be alone, or he wants to torture you. I know you might not want to hear it, but he does not love you.
In any event, the two of you are feeding off of one another in a way you especially are bound to regret. I know you feel guilty right now, but if you cheated, there is something about him that you were unhappy with. On his end, he should have broken up with you. But it sounds like he might not have had the self-confidence to do so, meaning he might be suffering from a very deep depression. Or he could have broken up with you, yet he can tell that you are easily manipulated, and has decided to make you feel horrible until you do yourself harm.
That said, cheating is an awful thing to do to someone, and karma will come calling for you if he truly was a good man to you. But the best thing for you to do right now, is to live well, and hang on. Do unto others from now on as you would have them do unto you, and your life will be much easier.
It is also a good idea for you to spend a few years alone getting to know who you are. Another person should not be able to make you want to kill yourself. You are very easily swayed by outside forces. The famous quote is a person that stands for nothing falls for anything. You really do not know who you are, and your mind is young. As you gain wisdom, you do not do things like cheat, because you know that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Get to know yourself, what you're about, what makes you you.
You might be the type of person that does not want to settle down with one person, and that is fine. But if you are, then you should be honest with the people you date, and not sneak around behind their backs, and be prepared to share them with other partners as well.
As you sow, so shall you reap. So whatever you do to someone else, expect it to be returned to you, or don't do it all. Get away from anyone that makes you contemplate suicide. There's a dark weird dynamic between the 2 of you, and though you cheated, it sounds like he has the upper hand. Oh and by the way, abused women usually cheat. These are the same women who typically would not cheat, but the desire to cheat is almost uncontrollable when a woman is being emotionally or physically abused, which though you say you were really happy before you cheated, it kind of sounds to me like you were being mentally abused, and you just might not realize it yet.
|
I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long! (link)
|
I'm sorry I haven't been on here in such a long time. I hope you're okay.
It sounds like your boyfriend has abusive tendencies that will only get worst as you get older, possibly narcissistic tendencies as well.
Why post details of your relationship up online and keep it from you, if only for some sort of weird self validation from his audience, or to relish in the fact that you are the butt of others' jokes. You might already be broken up with this guy by now (I'm sorry I didn't see this question sooner), but if you aren't, get far away from him. There's a mental issue going on with him, but since he's young right now, it's not on full blast. He could possibly become dangerous as he gets older. Not sure, but it sounds like he's heading in that direction.
|
I can't for the life of me remember the name of this show:
It is a comedy about a family (probably early 2000). It has an overwieght father, a wise cracking mother, and then three kids. The Son Brian is a "nerd" who is really smart, the daughter, Lauren, i believe was popular, and "stupid", and the youngest daughters name was Julie ( think) and she was just kind of a spunky, "ditzy" little girl.
Please help me! I can't figure it out! (link)
| |
I think you're talking about a show I actually love. I think it's really funny, though it didn't get popular. But I don't know if I'm right because I don't exactly remember the characters by name. But I'm thinking you're talking about "Still Standing." It comes on ABC family like every day now which is cool.
|
|
My best friend last year went on a crazy diet, when she started she weighed 200 pounds. By the following year (April of this year) she weighed 70 and came close to sowing. Doctors estimated she would have only had 2 days to live if she didn't come in. Now, after she's been out of the hospital, she has gained a significant amount of weight. She told me there goal weight for her was 110-120. She probably weights around 150-155 now. She tells me how she eats all night and then when she starts she can't stop. I don't know if I should say something or just keep my mouth shut and let her gain more weight. Being underweight isn't healthy, but neither is being overweight. I think her monnisnjust happy she is eating. Her mom isn't very good with this stuff, especially since i'm the one that had to force her into the hospital. I just dot know What to do o say. Any advice is appreciated, thAnks. (link)
|
Your friend sounds bulimic, I'm surprised a doctor hasn't diagnosed that yet, or maybe she just doesn't discuss it with you. In any event, she might be doing some serious damage to herself if she is binging and purging or begins to start purging. Right now it seems as though she is just binging, but I think there are some things going on that beneath the surface of her life, that you might not be aware of - possibly some childhood abuse and other issues.
Regardless, your friend has a serious mental issue, that is being ignored by her mother. Your friend is likely close to adulthood, and once she turns 18, it will be hard to get her the help she needs because she will have free will and independence.
There are 2 things that you can do right now. First approach her with your concerns, and offer to go with her to talk to a licensed state or school therapist. That therapist will point you guys in the right direction or help you right away with counseling. Please hold her hand with this, because she won't be motivated to complete the process without your help. You're really all she has.
If she refuses, then tell her that you are going to call Child Protective Services on her mother if she will not go, then see what she says or does. Don't give her more than 24 hours to think about it. If you give her a week or something, she might get her stuff and run away from home.
If she still does not cooperate, then cal CPS. Your friend is on a dangerous and highly suicidal path. Though I hate the idea of intervening when a person is competent, I feel that if once you have given her a chance to seek the proper help, and offered to go through it with her even, and she refuses. Then if she is a danger to herself or others, the police or court appointed doctors have to intervene. BUT PLEASE DON'T JUST DO THIS BEHIND HER BACK!!!
Give her a chance to make the responsible choices. IF she says no, TELL her that you're going to call CPS, if she doesn't make the responsible choice. IF SHE STILL DOESN'T or WON'T make the responsible choice, then call CPS.
|
can someone explain, in detail, every step, and product, i would need to use to get hair like this?
(i have untamed wild hair, that frizzes out,however it is thin)
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.talkingmakeup.com/pics/news/max2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://talkingmakeup.com/tag/kourtney-kardashians-hair/&usg=__mCxHmzSMKGVI3N36x69TN_a4hgg=&h=500&w=400&sz=70&hl=en&start=0&tbnid=hfMWNyp2nVgl6M:&tbnh=148&tbnw=105&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dkourtney%2Bkardashian%2Bhair%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1255%26bih%3D636%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=128&vpy=100&dur=274&hovh=150&hovw=120&tx=104&ty=93&ei=TQFrTKGTK4P6lwf0lfXdDw&oei=TQFrTKGTK4P6lwf0lfXdDw&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=27&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0 (link)
|
Ok I'm not sure if you are African American, or another nationality. But, regardless, you can get hair like that quite easily. The first thing that you should do is to wash and condition your hair with a smoothing shampoo. You don't need an expensive one, but many people are completely avoiding high sulfate shampoos. This is a good move for curly hair, so you can go with the Loreal sulfate free line, the Giovanni Line or the Organix line. They have cleansers in them that will remove silicones and heavy oils from the hair while still being sulfate free. You can find all these products at Target and many local drug stores. Wash, rinse, of course repeat if necessary, condition and towel dry.
Next while your hair is still wet, you want to either add a little of your conditioner to your hair (using a small amount as a leave in) or use your favorite leave in conditioner. Then apply a heat protectant all over your hair. You can get those from any store too. Next you can air dry your hair, or blow dry it (on cool or only slightly warm air), or you can set it on big plastic rollers and sit under the dryer. If you do the roller thing, you should use setting lotion to set the hair.
The easiest and gentlest thing to do is to air dry your hair. You can view videos of how to dry your hair in a wrap shape under a scarf on youtube (like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCjBbGgqd10). You can sleep in that, and it should take about 12 - 24 hours for your hair to dry. Or you can let your hair dry in a few braids.
Once your hair is dry, add some more heat protectant to your hair.
You want to use a skinny comb (like: http://www.cachebeauty.com/images/brushes_combs/pocket_comb_5_fine.jpg) or plastic brush (like: http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl0/10/107379/06_2008/brushes.jpg).
Set your flat iron on the lowest setting you can to straighten your hair. Section off a small piece of hair with a wide toothed comb (like: http://www.clipinhair.co.nz/shop/images/comb-006.jpg) and comb it through with your wide toothed comb.
Then using your skinny comb or plastic brush you want to comb or brush halfway down your hair and pause. Now use the flat iron to "chase," the comb or brush that you're using all the way down to the end of your hair. The hair should straighten after one to three passes.
Next use the flat iron, still on a low setting to create curls. This video is a good one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpl9KYzmJ6s
After you have styled your hair, don't use heat again until your next wash day, and if you have curly thick hair, there is no need to wash your hair every single day. Once every 2 weeks is probably fine. To maintain your style roll just the ends of your hair up in rod curlers (like: http://www.maximum-beauty.com/shopping/color-perm/1360.jpg). Don't roll them up like regular rollers, but roll them up in a Shirley Temple type of curl hanging down vertically, so you have the loose waves at the bottom of your hair. Sleep in a scarf, and let the curler-ed ends hang out of the bottom. Sleep on a satin pillow case.
|
|
hi! I was wondering which kind of purse would be in style for the new school year? the slingbag? or a normal purse? a lot of girls have slingbag for summer, but im not sure if theyre gonna use that for the school year? im about to buy a new purse :) thank you so much! (link)
|
This is a good cross-section of what is in style this fall season. You could look for lower priced purses that are styled like these if you cannot afford the name brand originals:
http://annaspassionforfashion.onsugar.com/Hot-Bags-2010-7737325
|
|
I do not deal well with change. I go to a camp, that I wait the whole school year for. This summer was my 10th summer, and a special one cause next year i have to work there. I dont get to do all the stuff I did this year.. next year. I am not excited for school. I miss my friends, but I am gonna miss my camp friends even more. I just dont deal well with the transition and I've never been good with it. This is the last week, and once the last day comes, I always go into a depression for about a week. Nothing makes me feel better. What can I do to not make me feel so sad? (link)
|
I think your condition is a chemical one, and that you should see a psychologist or psychiatrist. If change triggers this much in you, then you are definitely clinically depressed. Though you may be functional right now, something unexpected could trigger a breakdown that you might not be able to control - making you OCD or causing you to have a post traumatic stress reaction not so easily treated.
You need to talk with a professional now who can help you understand the source of your depression and treat it effectively, so that you have the tools you need to handle life as it comes.
There are plenty of state resources that will allow you to speak with a qualified professional for free. Another thing that you should start doing today eating a balanced diet, taking a multivitamin designed for your age group, and drinking at least 64 ounces of water everyday. It sounds simple, and even unnecessary to some, but many imbalances are corrected with those two things alone.
There are some natural solutions to your situation, but you should try the water and the vitamin first. And then see how you feel. And talk to the doctor. A natural help for depression is New Chapter St. John's Wort. All brands of St. Johns wort don't seem to work though. But I know for a fact that one is pretty good.
|
|
I want to kind of live in a crisis shelter because I have no job and want to be away from my family. It's a different situation with my mother now and her thought of mind is not the same. I have no other friends or relatives to be with and no one understands me. what does someone here think. should I go on with finding to live in a shelter. (link)
|
Well though I understand how you are feeling, I don't think moving into a shelter is the best idea for you. I know how it feels to have parents that don't understand you, but you don't really have an understanding of what living in a shelter is like.
There are a lot of people that live in shelters that steal, and they are not as safe as your home. If you are not being molested or abused, then you should stay where you are. When you live in a shelter, it's easier for you to be raped or jumped and beat up. They should be a last resort, and if you are a good kid, your shelter counselors will try to find a good safe shelter for you to live in, but you should really be thinking of them more as a detention center than a home right now. It might take some time for your counselors to find a good safe placement for you as a minor. In the meantime, it will likely be like living in juvenile hall.
Now in terms of your emotional pain and frustration with your mother, you should seek professional counseling. For this you can use a public shelter counseling program or a government program. Talk with a social worker or a counselor who can accept you for who you are, and provide you with the guidance for a career and for life that your mother cannot.
I think you should give your mother a chance to come to counseling with you though, before you go by yourself. It could be that she just doesn't know what you need. She is only human after all. She might truly want to be close to you, but just not have the intelligence or experience to do things right, many parents do not.
|
|
Im a 19 year old female and im with a 26 year old man.I just got out of a real bad relationship not to long a go now i have this new man thats 26 hes experienced alot more than i have. my problem is that we fight all the time but its mainly me i have trust issues and jealousy problems and i cant stand to see him with another girl. i know that the girls he hangs out with are his friends but i still get mad a i start accuseing him of cheating on me and we get in to a big fight.does anybody out there know how i can control my jealousy and trust issues and especially my anger towards him when i accuse him of doing thing that he says that not doing and he probably isnt (link)
|
I too have jealousy and trust issues, but one thing that I've learned in life (i'm 33, by the way), is that it's not all in your head, no matter how much he tries to convince you that it is.
There are different types of people in life:
1. There are people that cheat regularly and are not jealous,
2. people that cheat regularly and are extremely jealous,
3. people that flirt regularly,
4. and people that are jealous, and are highly faithful in both thought and deed.
Usually people that are jealous and highly faithful in both thought and deed, wind up with people that fall in the first 3 groups if they are not careful, or if they don't know how to be careful.
Another thing that I've learned is that everyone has a vice, no matter how religious they claim to be etc.
They don't have to be complete addicts to have an obvious vice - or at least addiction is not what I mean by using the term vice. I use it more to mean preference of social activity. Be it an activity participated in slightly, moderately or to excess.
You will find that people prefer one thing, or set of things more than other things. And if they are not religious, their vices will be easy to spot, and will especially fall into a couple of main categories:
1. Money,
2. Power (including gossip and public recognition),
3. Love and passion,
4. Drugs and alcohol.
Many times you will find the jealous type that is highly faithful in both thought and deed, is more into drugs or alcohol, whereas the other types hate alcohol drugs, and are often disgusted with people that are interested in those things.
Yet they are usually into money, and power, and cheat or flirt constantly, and feel that things "just happen," romantically and that love can't be controlled, the heart wants what it wants, yada yada yada, blah, blah, blah.
The type that is jealous, and are highly faithful in both thought and deed is usually more of a meek personality type, whose frustrations or expressions are usually directed internally, while the other types always direct their aggressions and expressions outwardly, creating victims and heartbreak without care.
Even though you guys may fight because you are wrong about him cheating specifically at that moment in time, one thing you will come to trust as you get older is your intuition.
Now your intuition may not be telling you information that is spot on accurate all the time, but it's telling you that this guy is just not compatible with you. If he surrounds himself with female friends, chances are he's a flirt of some sort. He might even be a cheater, saving his "female friends," just in case things don't work out between the two of you.
In any event, your intuition is not completely off. Trust yourself, he's not right for you. Any guy that loved you, wouldn't want to torture your mind like that with "female friends," if he was faithful. He's got his own agenda in mind. It may be a future agenda, but what you smell is an agenda. Don't be fooled.
The only people that you can really be with happily are people that are jealous and are highly faithful in both thought and deed, or people that see the error in cheating and flirting and love you enough to not do it in front of you or behind your back ever. Usually they've lost someone they truly loved because of their careless behavior, or suffered some tragedy because of it. So they are in a sense reformed. Sometimes there are people like this but you have to make sure before you take their word for it.
It is hard to find people that you are compatible with, because as you can see, the majority of the people in the world fall into the other 3 categories. The only thing you have in the end is your intuition, surprisingly enough - the thing that everybody wants to discount and call you crazy for.
Also a lot of times you might find someone that is really jealous, and think it's because that person is like you. But you have to make sure that person is not jealous because they are a cheater themselves. So you have to be careful to look for all of the qualities you need, not just jealousy.
In essence you have to trust yourself, and respect yourself, because you are in the minority in this world. You will find that even trusted members of your family will say that you're crazy, because truth be told, you really don't know everything about their love lives either. Most people don't think like you, and the only real way to find them is to use a dating service that matches people based on compatibility like eharmony, or to just trust your instincts. As soon as you feel slightly distrustful, just move on. Unless the person can make you truly feel at ease again, just move on.
Just trust me. Right now it may seem like you won't meet anybody else. But you will. A person that loves you, and is truly like you, will understand the way you feel, and they won't do things to make you feel like you can't trust them ever. They won't get angry at your distrust because they will understand it. And they will make you feel safe, not uncertain.
|
My hair is damaged from using my chi iron everyday, so i've been wanting to get the instyler thing. but on the comercial it says 30 day trial for 14.99, what happens after the 30 days do I have to give it back or do I have to pay more? if I have to pay more how much do I have to pay? I tried calling the number, but I got some rude lady and ended up just hanging up, then I tried calling back, and they started asking me all these questions like "what my first andd last name is,and where I live" I told the lady I only had a question, and she insisted I gave her my information so I just hung up, and figured i'd ask on here!
(link)
|
2 Important things come to mind with this question:
First:
That Instyler thing looks super damaging to the hair. I can't say because I haven't tried it, but brushing the hair, while you're applying heat just sounds disastrous to me. Your hair can only take so much, and if you have hair that needs straightening to look straight, then you probably shouldn't be using a brush any way ever - only a wide toothed comb to detangle, and a skinny comb with a flat iron on the lowest heat you can use to produce straight results. Most people turn their flat irons all the way up, when they can probably get their hair straight on a much lower temperature. Usually 50 - 100 degrees cooler.
Also you should be using heat protectant every time you use heat.
Now the brush and that heat will make your hair look shiny at first, but after awhile, it will degrade your strands, and split up your hair and ends. Brushes are very damaging to curly hair. I can't see any way that it wouldn't. It just can't logically be used without creating some sort of excessive damage. A regular flat iron chasing a skinny comb, on low heat, on air dried hair sounds much better.
Second:
You have to be careful with trial offers like that. What happens is that they get your credit card number and info, in order to charge you the $14.99. After your trial period is up, they will charge your same card for whatever the retail price is for the product plus shipping and handling, and any other fees they want to tack on. All the fees will usually be listed in the fine print of the receipt that you receive from them.
Many times fees like this can add up to $100 - $200 for products like these. In order to cancel the offer before your card is charged, you usually have to call a special number before a certain date (usually printed on the receipt as well), and you also have to ship the product back to the manufacturer at your expense. This is fine if the product is something that you really want. But if you are not sure, just buy the product from a local store. I know many beauty supply stores that sell salon products have it, as well as stores like Linens and Things or Bed Bath and Beyond sometimes have it. Return it if you don't like it. But honestly, that thing looks crazy. You shouldn't buy it.
|
18/f
i'm one of those people that when i really want something, i fight for it.
so i'm still in love with my ex. he's going through a tonnn of shit right now and i guess he's just trying to find himself, if you could say. we talk and he confides in me...like he tells me things he said he hasn't told anyone, even his parents. he knows i'll always be there for him. you can say we're pretty good friends. howevvverrr, i always have to text/call him first. he never does it. and i've been trying to see him this week and he blew me off twice (the first time he was sick but then i texted him the day after and he said he was still sick) or maybe do you think he doesn't want to see me? we've broken up in the past before and hung out alot and ended up back together again for another 5 months...could this be the reason? he said he wants to be friends, andd he still tells me everythinggg. like i said, i'm a fighter for what i want, but i'm so confused :/ & i want him, alot. :/ (link)
|
He probably was sick that time, but if you're initiating all the contact, chances are he's moved on from you completely emotionally and romantically. Even if he does start to call you from time to time, and uses your friendship as an outlet, he's not interested in you anymore. He is talking to you about things, but chances are he'd be fine without you if you weren't there for him. He just doesn't want to hurt your feelings, and you feel that you are part of his life still because you're "helping him." But if he's said let's just be friends, you should really move on.
Even if you guys wind up getting back together, he knows how to call you, and ask you to come back. If he can hold down a job, tie his shoes, eat when he's hungry and drink when he's thirsty, he's perfectly capable of calling you regularly and maintaining a relationship. If he's not doing that, he doesn't really care about a relationship with you anymore.
He may start to call you, after you stop calling him, and use you as a friend emotionally and maybe even try to use you physically. But before you allow this, understand that unless he says he's committed to you in relationship, he's not committed to you.
Honestly, you should find someone else. There's someone better, trust me. Every time you just move on when a relationship is over, you find that there was a reason for everything, and you will get over it. It's hard at first, but just buck up, and move on. It will bring you closer to the love of your life. Sometimes that guy is the next person, sometimes you will have to learn a few more lessons first. If you're not the love of a lifetimes for the person you're currently with. The only time you're wasting now is your own. Stop texting him and wasting your life. Those are hours of your life you can't get back.
|
heyy i recently got a bf and my best friend is now acting all weird. i think its cos i have a bf now and she doesnt seem to like it or is jelous.
everytime i ask her to hang out she always blows me off by saying
"i dnt know i cant plan that far aheacd" or if i say "when can we hang out" she is always saying "i dno"
i try and i try and she just keeps being really cold towards me. i think she has given up. i dnt know what iv done.
she hasnt met my bf and thats becos he lives an hour away and i only see him a few nights a week so i have plenty of time to hang out with her.
im confused, wat should i do? i miss her. but she doesnt seem to care i just look stupid the more i try. help!! :( (link)
|
Just let her know that you feel her slipping away, and that you don't know what you could have done. Let her know that you don't want to keep bothering her at this point, and that you'll always be there to hang out whenever she's ready. It sounds pretty certain that she's jealous, and unfortunately, even if she were to come back, if she is that jealous, she might not prove to be a true friend anymore anyway. You might just have to let her go. Unfortunately, things often get very weird with girls very fast once you start dating. It becomes very hard to find true friends the older you get. Watch out, she does have the potential to try and hook up with your boyfriends if you let her back in your life anyway, so she might have done you a favor by backing away.
If she comes back into your life in a healthy way, then you're lucky. But if not, don't stress. It's an unfortunate part of life. You might meet one or two more true friends in college or something. But after that point, it's virtually impossible, I'm afraid. It sounds bleak, but women are so competitive, and desperate as a whole, that they tend to put getting men above having good friends, and respecting their female friends, especially the older they get. I honestly wish that things would change, and that women would wake up and stop being this way, but it seems like a rampant plague of life.
This is from a 32 year old woman's personal experience. Stay alert in college for a good, loyal friend or two, and hang onto them if you find them.
|
|
im so stressed out, first off. last year i went through extreme depression, and i got grounded, so i was captive in my house. if anyone has been depressed, when youcant do anything its hell. This year, i am better.. but, my mom all the sudden has been up my ass. She doesnt let me go out, do anything, where ever i go she wants to talk to parents, drop me off, i cant drive.. im 17. All my friends go out, her best friends kids go out, im very mature for my age... and my boyfriend goes to parties, and hes 18 and i dont wanna hold him back i mean hes allowed to, but my mom is nuts, it makes me depressed, wanna fuckin do shit to myself when im upset sitting home everyone is out. I dont get it either, my brother went out at 17 had parties at my house... im very mature for my age, have college friends, i have 2 jobs, i have 90 grades. i do everything for myself pay for everything.. what should i do? (link)
| |
I think it's a great idea to let your Mom read your post. Sometimes we express ourselves better in the form of a letter. She may not know you're feeling these things. She may be worried that you cannot take the pressures of a hectic lifestyle b/c of your condition last year and afraid you might have some sort of breakdown. She also may have just gotten used to having someone always around the house and just be feeling a little lonely and not wanting her baby to grow up so fast. Parents also sometimes just treat their daughters differently. Young women are physically often more vulnerable then young men and are saught out by all types of predators even in their own age group. Nowadays some families are a bit different; but 30-50 years ago it was completely common to treat your daughter completely different. It was the norm. Take care though and good luck. I think if your mom reads your post; she may understand your feelings much better and at least she'll communicate her reasoning behind her behavior and maybe you guys can come to a comprimise.
|
My friend's boyfriend broke up with her unexpectedly 2 1/2 months ago after a 10 year long live-in relationship. She is obviously heartbroken, shocked, confused, afraid, angry, etc. Here's the trouble... Several of our other girlfriends are giving her terrible advice (i.e. You should try to make him jealous. You should start dating immediately. You just need to go out and party. If you want him back, you have to compete with the girls he's seeing and fight for him.) It is obvious to me that he doesn't want to be back in this relationship. Her efforts to get his attention and make him jealous are only resulting in further disappointment for her. What can I do to help her let go? She is still totally clinging to hope and hasn't moved into the "acceptance" stage of the grieving process. She is turning 40 this year, and that is also a great fear for her. She feels she gave the best years of her life to him and that she'll never have true romance again.
I wish I had better advice for her than some of my other friends, but I don't. I try to encourage her to look ahead to a bright future, to make plans for a bright future, that she deserves a bright future, that she is capable of crafting a bright future, and that she is intelligent, strong, and loved and supported by many, many people.
She just keeps trying to compete with the new girls he's seeing, and she'll never come out on top because he doesn't want to be with her. How can I help her see that? I am tired of watching her set herself up for what is turning out to be continuous, extreme disappointment.
OMFG (link)
|
I agree. You are an excellent friend to see the damage that all of this is doing to your friend. She's really lucky to have you.
Unfortunately, in life it seems there are only 2 ways to move on from a really hard relationship. To be in love with someone else or truly wanting to date other people or to be happy and fulfilled pursuing your interests in life. As a good friend; you can help her with the latter.
For a long time in my early 20's, I had problems meeting people when I was single and I read only the beginning of this book about intuition in love.
The first bit of advice it gave was to love yourself to the point where you're practically just dating yourself instead of waiting for some romantic interest to do it. Take yourself to dinner for your favorite food; take yourself to a movie. Take a class in something you're interested in.
I didn't even get to the end of the book before I met someone. Now; I'm not saying she's ready for a new relationship. But, the only real way for her to move on without a new guy is to have a serious and healthy romantic relationship with herself. After she's achieved that, if she wants; new men will come in a neverending stream.
But for right now; that should help her move on.
Also you may want to be frank with her that her guy won't come back by maybe using an example from your life of a guy's abandonment behavior so she doesn't feel like she's the only rejected person in the world. After 10 years, it's probably very hard for her and even your friends to grasp that he'll just move on. But, if you're sure his mind is made up; it's best she knows that you feel that way. It's important that you tell her in the best way possible so she doesn't feel like a loser; and that something like that has happened to you before if possible.
|
|
I'm in 7th grade! Last year, I had a lot of friends. We kind of hung out in a group. There was this one girl named Kiara that we talked about. This year Kiara forgived me and we became friends. Then I lost all my friends and Kiara was still my friend. One day, something happened and i felt like Kiara betrayed me. She lost all her friends and I went back to my old friends that had been previously talking about me. Then I lost them again and Kiara felt like I used her and now I don't have any friends! What should I do at school when I am sitting there all alone with nobody to talk to and everyone else is with there friends talking and laughing? (link)
| |
It sounds like Kiara didn't realize that she'd done something to betray you and that she felt rejected when you went back to your old friends b/c it seemed like you had no reason. Try to talk to her in private and tell her how what she did made you feel. See what happens and if you guys can become friends again. The others don't sound like your friends. She possibly sounds like your truer friend. But, I don't have enough details to be sure.
|
|