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The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.
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Im 18, and me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 10 months now, and we were best friends for about a year before we started dating. So we both truly care for each other. Though, we both have agreed that we want to wait to have sex. This is also our first relationship so we both are learning and have been curious about things. So, we have expirimented and the other night we took it a little further which consisted of below the belt like him fingering me, and well i didnt really do much to him cause i just wasnt ready. Though, it was an intimate moment between us. Well, now it feels like we arent as touchy feely as we use to be before this happened. I mean we still kiss and we still love each other but its not like we have to be touching each other all the time if that makes any sense. Which we werent all over each other to begin with. Though, is this normal. Im thinking maybe our curiousity isnt as strong anymore with each other? And at the same time, im kinda relieved cause I dont feel as pressured, not that he pressures me cause he doesent. But like I dont feel as if we are going to accidently go way to far one night. Maybe its just the honeymoon stage is over? Idk if im really making any sense, and im sorry if I dont but I figured maybe some of yall would maybe figure out what im trying to say. Thanks! Hope you can help.
I think that the two of you just need to talk about what happened. I am guessing that he is afraid that he has gone too far and is just "treading lightly" now. He is afraid to bring it up because he is afraid of what you might say. Everyone is afraid of rejection. I know you haven't rejected him or even said anything against what he did... but he is probably afraid of what you are thinking about him, especially because you didn't do anything to him in return that night. What if you started by saying, "I really enjoyed the other night. What did you think about it?" You could take that opportunity to reinforce your feelings about waiting to have sex (you may find that he feels exactly the same as you). Good luck!
I have a few small cuts on my hand and I was wondering how I could make them heal fast? There not deep there just little scratches and Ive had them for almost a week so there scabs now. So yeah any advice helps! Sorry if this is in the wrong catagory.
You could try soaking your hand several times a day in warm water with a mild soap. The warm water will increase the circulation in that area. That means that more blood will come into your hand, which will carry to it the things needed to heal it.
Let me first start by giving you a little back ground information. My ex wife became pregnant when she was 20 and I was 19. Even though it was earlier than we both expected to become parents, we were thrilled and so excited to start our family together. We got married shortly after she gave birth to our son Matt. Soon after that, we had another son, and then a daughter. From my perspective, everything was great. That's why I was so blindsided when my wife came to me 9 months after our daughter was born claiming she wasn't ready to settle down and be a mother with divorce papers in her hand. Almost overnight, I became a 23 year old single father with a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a 9 month old. After the divorce was final, I rarely heard from my ex wife. She had begun living a life that I didn't necessarily approve of filled with drugs and alcohol and, while I wanted to keep my children as far away from that as possible, she was their mother and I didn’t feel like I could entirely keep them away from her. The last straw, however, came when I let my daughter, Alyssa, (who was 6 at the time) stay with her when I took my sons on a hunting trip. I was supposed to pick her up at noon the Sunday we got back. I spent the entire afternoon calling my ex wife’s apartment with no answer. At 5 that afternoon, I finally just went over to her house where I found her front door wide open and her passed out on the couch from mixing a few too many drugs with alcohol. Her neighbor came over to the apartment and told me that my ex wife had taken Alyssa out one night and come home completely plastered. Thank god her neighbor had woken up and decided to take Alyssa back to her apartment. And this is just one example of many. After that, I told my ex wide that I didn’t want her to see our kids anymore which devastated her so much she entered rehab. She got clean and for the past ten years has seen the kids a few times despite my hesitance. My kids and I have been living a great life together away from my ex wife. A few years ago I began dating another woman whom I am now engaged too. She gets along great with my kids and is an amazing person who I know will be a good influence on my kids’ lives. My oldest son Matt is now in college, but Colton (my middle son) and Alyssa still live with me. Since I have become engaged, my ex wife has become crazy about spending time with the two of them. She wants them at her house every weekend and doesn’t want my fiancé to parent them at all. She is trying to tell my daughter all kinds of lies about why she left, and how I am a horrible person for trying to keep them from seeing her. She tells her that the entire thing was my fault and all kinds of horrible rumors about my fiancé, who went to high school with my ex wife. She has asked both of my kids to move in with her. Colton told her absolutely not, but Alyssa is confused about the whole situation and doesn’t know what she should do. I have full custody of them so essentially it is my choice about whether or not she can see them. I don’t want to take them away from my ex wife, but I don’t want to lose them myself. I am still worried that she will resort back to her old ways and put my kids in danger like she has their whole lives. Am I right to not let my daughter move in with her mom?
It is obvious that you love your children and want what is best for them. It sounds like you have been a great dad and I commend you for taking on the responsibility of being a full time single parent. I can understand why you would be very worried about Alyssa going to live with her mother. It is interesting that your ex has taken so long to show any interest in her kids. I guess jealousy can make you do just about anything. My guess is that your ex doesn't really want the kids to live with her full time right now (if she truly did, she might have realized that before now). If my calculations are correct, your daughter must be about 16 years old? This is a difficult time in a girl's life when she is trying to figure out who she is and what the world is all about. It would be normal for her to want to develop a better relationship with her mother. She is curious and is looking for validation from someone who is important to her. Both parents are very important to a child. She already knows that you love her and now she wants to see if her mother really does. She is also looking for the truth. (And deep down I am sure she already knows what the truth is... but now she has some doubt about it) She doesn't want to believe that her own mother abandoned her. If I were you, I would support her in this decision... and yes, I would let her move in with her mother. I know you are scared of losing her... but I think you have a better chance of losing her if you don't let her do this. If you try to control her and make her stay with you, she might see this as proof that you have always been the "bad guy" and have always kept her from her mother. You need her to trust you and she needs to start making some of her own choices in life. In a couple years you won't be able to control what she does anyway. Even if you said "no" now, she might find a way to be with her mom and might run away to do this. I would suggest that you sit down with her and tell her that you love her and don't want her to leave; that you are worried that she might get hurt again. Tell her that you understand why she needs to do this, though, and you hope she knows that you are there for her; that she can come back home at any time she wants to. There are just certain things in life that we have to learn for ourselves. No amount of you telling her what happened and what probably will happen will change her mind. She is big enough to stand up for herself with her mother if she needs to. Realize that there will probably be a "honeymoon" phase when she goes to be with her mother. She may pull away from you temporarily. This is normal... and TEMPORARY. Her mother will probably give her things and do things with her for a while to make her think that everything is wonderful there. But unless she has drastically changed, the truth will soon surface. If possible, it would be good for her to find a way to have a decent realtionship with her mother now anyway. That will be important to her the rest of her life (just as her relationship with YOU will continue to be important to her for other reasons). She will decide to come back home to you (probably sooner than later). You and her will have a closer realationship than ever then. If you don't give her some choices in this matter, she will just be resentful and angry towards you.
I am sorry it took some time for me to answer this but I wanted to think about it instead of rushing into an answer. I know this must be difficult for you. Congratulations on your new marriage. Good luck with everything! I would be interested to know what you decide to do and would love to have an update later.
i came on my period on the 31 of december and came off on the 4th of january and then spotted 3 days later how will i know when im ovulating?
If you have a regular cycle and your body is pretty predictable, then you should ovulate about 14 days after the START of your period. Some people feel a twinge of pain in the lower abdomen on one side or the other when they ovulate. Other people don't feel anything. If you REALLY want to know when you are ovulating, there are tests that you can buy at the store. Good luck!
at my new school i know absolutely no one!! and out side of school i have no life because i just moved and no absolutely nobody here. How do i make friends fast so i can get out??
The fastest thing I can think of that usually works well is to join a group, club or sport at your school. You could also find someone or a group of people that you think you might want to be friends with and start asking them questions about what to do around the town since you just moved there and don't know anyone. Being the new kid is hard. Good Luck!
Hi, I'm 15/f
At school i sit with a group of friends.On the weekends and holidays some of my friends orgaise things to do together, like going to the beach or hang out at someones house or a party and i'm hardly ever invited. I always feel left out because my friends never call me up and invite out.
What can i do to feel more accepted by my friends? Or how can i get invites without seeming desperate?
Thank you in advance :)
Next time you find out that they have done something without you, you could hint around.... say, "Oh, did I miss your call? Cause I would have come! That sounds like fun!" or "next time you'll have to call me and let me know because I would love to join you!"
If that doesn't work, you could try organizing the outings yourself and be the one to invite the others.
If that still doesn't work, maybe you could find some other people to hang out with on the weekends? Good luck!
I'm sure it's nothing to worry or stress about, and I'm not.
I just wanted to check and see what others might think about the situation.
Ok, so I've been on birth control for the past 4-5 years now. And my period is always the second or third day of the sugar pills and lasts about the whole week if not ending 2 days early.
I couldn't get a refill of my prescription until I went in for a Pap. Therefore, I was off the pill for two weeks. I wasn't made aware of this until I mentioned my period coming that early. I have to take Wellbutrin and I had also been taking some type of anti-inflamatory pills for ten days for my lungs. My dad makes sure I take my medicine at the same time each day by waking me up in the morning and giving me my pills, because I can be pretty forgetful.
After about a week of being back on it, I got my period two weeks early, which I figure is because I was off for two weeks. Makes sense I guess. Right?
Ok, well then two weeks later, when the period was oringinally intended, I started what I thought was my period.
And I was pissed cause I thought I was getting two periods this month.
But everytime I put in a tampon, I'd take it out about 4 hours later at the most, and there would barely be any blood on it ay all. Not even enough to fill a quarter of it. And the blood was hella light, like a faded pink rather than the regular red I get. This continued for about two or three more days. About the second day of the "period" I started cramping. Not the intense painful cramps I normally get, just slight tugging kinda feeling. Small cramps, on and off lasting a few minutes if not shorter. It started last Monday, and it's Thursday now and I'm still feeling the cramps.
Every now and then I'll get this random wave of uneasiness, not hardcore naseua, but the moderate uncomfortable feeling you get in your stomach.
I get dizzy, but then again, I've always gotten lightheaded out of nowhere with my body feeling weak for a bit.
I've been sleeping just fine, though I'm pretty exhausted throughout the entire day. Even after I've gotten up. And I'm normally a morning person, when I'm up, I'm up.
I don't remember the last time my boyfriend and I had sex, haha, I think it might have been like three weeks ago and we had sex less than an hour apart, and I was laying down the whole time in between. We don't use any protection other than the pill, which you can save the lecture on because I know it's not the smartest thing to do. We're not trying but then again we don't care at all if I end up pregnant.
For some reason he has a LOT of cum, which is kinda weird to me but whatever. I don't know if that would make any difference with pregnancy, hahaha.
Like I said, I'm sure it's nothing but I just wanted to see what other people may think.
The first thing you should do is to take a pregnancy test. Don't think that you can't be pregnany because you were bleeding since the last time you had sex. When you get pregnant and the egg implants into the lining of the uterus, it is common to get some bleeding. Most people think this is a period and don't think about being pregnant until the next time they miss their period.
If it is not pregnancy, then it may just be your body trying to re-regulate itself after the lapse in hormones from missing the couple weeks of BC pills. If it is not pregnancy, then you don't have to do anything different. Just keep taking your pills as scheduled and everything will be back on track in another month or two.
Good luck!
So, I've liked a lot of guys before but never did I expect to come across one like this. He's smart. He knows that true love overlooks the little flaws. He's intelligent, witty, and very thoughtful. We've been talking every day for the past two weeks and I hear he likes to talk to me. I'm really scared though. He knows that I'm scared of getting hurt in any relationship, which is why I don't put myself out there. He's very optimistic about life while I tend to be somewhat on the negative side.
What should I do? I'm scared to like him. What if he's just being nice? What if he doesn't like me? I think I'm way in over my head?
I think I wanna cry.
Sorry for sounding so choppy. :/
You could continue to shelter yourself from getting hurt. Unfortunately, you would also continue to shelter yourself from love. At some point you might think about "taking a risk" and letting someone get close to you. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, though. I would suggest that you just take things slowly and continue to talk to him. Maybe meet with him when there are some other people around at first. if it is right, it will happen. You will eventually begin to feel like it is okay to open up if it is. You must relax and focus on the small (happy) things in your life. Don't over think everything. Maybe you could keep a journal and write down all your feelings. Then, about once a week or more, you could look back and see if things have changed for the better or worse. Seeing it on paper might help to organize your thoughts and help you see any progress that is happening over time. Good luck! I hope this one works out to be the one for you!
i was at achool and my teacher took my phone away from me because i was texting. the policy is if a teacher takes it away you cant get it back for another 5 days. i did not want to go this long, because it was the weekend. so i had her email my "mom" because i said that my mom would not let me drive home without my phone. in reality i gave her my email address and used my friends phone to get on the internet and respond to my teacher pretending to be my mom. this happened about a month ago and for some reason im getting paranoid that i will get caught. do you think they can find out it wasnt really my mom ?
You would be LUCKY if you didnt get caught. Your teacher could easly call your mom or bring this up at parent teacher conferences. It's likely to come up some how. Maybe telling the truth now will save you some trouble later! I noticed it has been a while since you asked this question. Has the truth come out yet?
my vagina many a times gives me a feel to touch it somewhat like to itch it again and again
Vaginal itching usually indicates an infection of some type. The first thing I always think of with itching is a yeast infection, which can be treated with some medicine from the store. There is no guarantee, however, that it is that. I think there are simple test kits at the store too to test it yourself, but to be sure you would have to go to the doctor and have them check it. Good luck!
is it normal for your vag to hurt and ache during your period?
It can be very normal. I know that my vagina hurts the first day or so of my period (it feels like there's a lot of pressure down there or something). I am not talking about cramps... but the actual vagina. My mom says that hers does too. If I stay off my feet it feels much better. Take some Motrin or Tylenol and it should help. Also soaking in a warm bath helps too.
I'v allways been the sam everytime i make a call, if the call is to some one i know well like a freind, manager or what ever im fine with it.
but if i make a phone call to some one i dont know say a new job postion im applying for, i go shakey and forget what im going to say. if i write it down and say what im readin in a near normall voice i can just about pull it off till im comfortable with the call. but its allways the dialing the number and calling part that is a problem. I dont really get it much if its some one phoning me i guess its happend a couple of times like that but the main one is me calling some one i dont know and iv been like it all my life. Know any good ways of breaking the habit?
I have always had this problem, too. Unfortunately, I don't have a brilliant answer for you. I do know that with time and practice it gets a little better. I always have to remind myself that they can't see me. That helps a little. I also remind myself to talk slower (because when you are nervous you want to talk faster and without taking breaths... which makes it worse) and pause to take a breath here and there. For me, the more I think about it and try to prepare myself, the worse off I am during the phone call. It is usually better for me if I just do it quickly. I don't know that that would work for everyone. Good Luck! I know it will get better for you, too, as you get older (I think because you care less about what others think of you).
15/f
hi, i was just wondering: is it weird to be still "spooning" with my 25 year old brother every once in a while?
not that it's sexual in anyway but ever since he left college when i was younger, i've tried sleeping with him and being as close as i possibly could because i missed him so much.
i'm not a little girl anymore and he's DEFINITELY not a kid either...but it's ok...right?
i'm just wondering what most peoples opinions are on this since most of my friends think it's weird. :P
It definately SOUNDS wierd when you put it like that... "spooning". If it is at all sexual for either one of you (you WOULD know, deep down, if it was) then I would say it is NOT normal and you should stop. If this cuddling is something that you both have done all your lives and it feels normal, then I wouldn't worry about it. Cultures are different for each family. What feels normal for one may not feel normal for the next. I would probably keep that info to yourself if others are judging you about it. I think it is nice to be close to your siblings and your parents. It is good and normal to express your affection towards your family (again, as long as its not sexual). There are many places in the world where the whole family sleeps in the same bed. Americans gawk at that and think its "bad"... but its not. Bottom line is... if you don't feel like you should worry about it, then don't.
18 f
Hey guys sry if its long but I'd appreciate the help !
So about 2 months ago I was in the train and I saw a gorgeous guy
He started looking back at me and we exchanged glances and
Even a couple of smiles. Then like 10 mins later he comes a little
Closer and says hi my name is nate and he asks for my name
And was just a total gentlemen and looked really sweet.
Then when he was about to get of asked for my number to keep
In touch. I was so excited because he was a total cutie.
Btw, before he left he invited me to a club. Now that isn't
Something I normally do. I'm a total romantic girl I love going
Out to dinner with my guy or going to watch a movie.
So the next day he called and asked me to email him a pic.
I said sure then he said a sexy pic?? I was a little confused and just
Sent him a normal pic but he kept asking me for a pic and to
Put on some shorts. I told him that I'm not that kind of girl
And that I need to get to know him. So he said ok. Btw he's 20 yrs old.
Anyway the next day he invited me to go clubbing again. I said I couldn't
And I called him the next day and invited him to the movies.
He said he hates the movies and would rather me to go over to drink??
I don't drink. I'm a total good girl, haha. So anyway we haven't spoke
Lately and idk wat to do. He's so cute but I don't club. Or drink.
I feel like we live in 2 diff worlds. He was a total gentlemen
When I met him. I guess I just want him to like me becuase I have
This huge crush on him and I can't stop thinking about him. I tried
But it didn't work. I guess I just wanted to give him a try and see if
It could work out but we have 2 diff interests. I wanna hang out with
Him but don't know what to say when I call him. Any ideas or advice about
The whole situation? Thanks !!
As soon as I read your story, I got the "chills". I felt some bad vibes, girl! Please don't pursue this guy! I envision some creepy and even life-threatening things happening if you do what he is asking you to do! Maybe I am crazy... but I would feel better if you found a different cutie to chase after! I think it is great that you haven't "given in" and followed him to some club or sent some "sexy pics". That's such a BAD sign. Can I say it one more time??? PLEASE forget about him and protect yourself! You won't think that he is so cute after he has raped you. Sorry for being so EXREME... good luck!
On new years eve,i met a guy at a party.He goes to my school and I actually have a class with him,i just never noticed or talked to him until the party.We ended up getting along really good and even kissed and whatnot.He texted me later that night and the next day to talk and we hungout again and he held my hand,kissed me goodbye etc.He texted me the next day to talk and the day after that we went on a double date and he bought me candy,paid for parking,and held my hand etc. Then he texted me later that night ,just to talk and again the next morning.Finally Monday comes around and he wasn't in school ,so when I got home i texted him and asked him why he wasn't.He wrote back 5 hours later,just saying he's sick and went to the doctor and we texted for probably only 10 minutes and he just stopped writing back. I didn't resend the text or text him again since he didn't respond because I didn't wanna be annoying. I'm wondering if he isn't interested anymore or if he's just sleeping and sick ...and if I'm overracting.Nothing bad happened and we've got along fine and he seemed very interested with me so it was random for him to stop talking to me but again,he may just be sick ...idk i worry to much! Should I wait for him to text me now ?
Yes, just wait. He will get back to again if he is interested. Guys hate it when girls "read into things" so much. I know it hurts to just sit and wait. Try to keep busy in the mean time with a friend or something. Just be patient. Good Luck!
How could you be nice to people without them taking advantage of you?
You need to start by setting firm limits for yourself (such as, I won't allow myself to _______ ). You have to stay true to yourself and don't LET them take advantage of you. Don't be afraid to tell someone that you can't do something for them. A friendship should be a 50/50 thing. If you feel that you are giving more than your share on a regular basis, then it is no longer a friendship. I have always been "the nice person" who let everyone walk all over me. As I have gotten older, though, I have gotten smarter, stronger and have found ways to be more assertive and self-protective. Good Luck!
If i have non-infectious vaginitis or a possible allergic reaction down there and i am applying Vagisil anti-itch creme how long will it take for the itching to finally dissipate?
If the Vagisil is going to work, you should notice relief within minutes. If you don't get that relief right away, it is not going to work. You must know, though, that the Vagisil is only a "band-aid". It might make you feel better temporarily but won't fix the problem. You really need to find out what the root of the problem is and get it fixed. That might mean going to the doctor or trying to change a product that you are using (for possible allergic reaction). In the mean time you might try eating a lot of yogurt and taking warm baths frequently to soak. If you are sexually active, that could make it hurt or itch more. I guess what I am trying to say is to fix the problem. Don't expect Vagisil to completely take away the itch.
Good luck!
I recently had a dream...
I can't remember the little details...
All I really remember is that it was Homecoming night (I've already had Homecoming, by the way) and either I couldn't find the dress I had previously bought, or I had nothing to wear to the dance at all...
It was sort of like those naked dreams, but kind of different...like I was wearing this little sun dress, but not fancy enough to go to Homecoming. I just remember searching and searching for it, but not EXACTLY feeling that disappointed.
Any ideas?
Maybe you are subconciously sorting through feelings that you have about yourself? Or feelings about who you would be with? You were trying on all kinds of dresses... maybe translates to "trying on" different men or different types of people that you think you are or want to be? Then you said that you felt you had on the wrong dress... not fancy enough... Could this mean that you don't feel like you are good enough or maybe that your date wasn't quite what you expected?
I have quite big problems with my family at the moment and i do get rather upset about it at times, but im not allowed to talk to any of my friends about it and talking to coucillors and adults isnt like talking to friends, what should i do?
I am not sure what these problems entail and not at all sure why you wouldn't be allowed to talk with your friends about it? I must say I have a lot more questions than answers for you...
With that said, if you don't have the option of talking to ANYONE about this (either because you can't or won't), maybe you could keep a journal. You could write it all down for yourself. You could also write a letter to someone, even if it is not mailed or sent. It won't solve any problems but may allow you to vent a bit about your troubles.
Sorry I can't be more helpful than this. I am just not sure what to say without knowing more info. Good luck!
female/16
On my, is it called genitals? The front area, like where your pubic hair is. I have a, pimple looking thing on it, to my far left, almost at where my leg bends (bikini edge line?).
I've gotten a 'pimple' down there before once in a while, but it's like the same colour as my skin. No big, it goes away.
But this one has become pinkish red, and it hurts really badly, and it has a black dot in the middle (I thought it was an ingrown hair at first but now, I guess not).
I want to go to the doctor but...I'm not sure. Like I'm super nervous about letting him even look down there and I'm not sure if it's because of a normal reason or if it's just because he's a guy.
I am totally pro health and if my friend was in my situation, I'd absolutely agree on going to the doctors to get it checked. But for me, I'm not sure.
Maybe it's normal and someone has a name for it? Then I'd be embarrassed to go to the doctors for it, look at it, and it turns out that it's nothing! But what if it's serious or something like herpes (I'm not even involved sexually with anything =/) or turns into a large mole when I'm older?
The secretary for my doctor has to know what I'm going there for so I don't really want to tell her either because she's always gossiping and I don't want her to give me 'that look' when she sees me because she knows what I’m going in for.
Hopefully, it's not bad and someone here knows what it is, an idea, or even had it before, but thanks in advance for the advice.
Ok, if you have never been sexually active, you probably have nothing to worry about. People do get ingrown hairs and pimples, etc, down there. If you are worried about it and want to be reassured, I would suggest making an appointment with a different doctor (female). Sometimes it feels better to do stuff like that with a perfect stranger. If you find one that you like and trust, then you you could go to her again when you do become sexually active. Someday soon you will need to start thinking about birth control and getting PAP smears (the yearly woman exam). If you aren't comfortable going to your current doctor for this issue, what are the chances you will want to go to him for other personal issues? I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your parents... but you could just tell them that your friends have been talking about going to the doctor for "woman issues" and it made you think that maybe you should get a different doctor for stuff like that. They should undertand that. They may not even need to know... except that if you are under their insurance, they may see it. It would be better if you keep the lines of communication open so that they will trust you.