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Is this Normal in a Relationship?
Im 18, and me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 10 months now, and we were best friends for about a year before we started dating. So we both truly care for each other. Though, we both have agreed that we want to wait to have sex. This is also our first relationship so we both are learning and have been curious about things. So, we have expirimented and the other night we took it a little further which consisted of below the belt like him fingering me, and well i didnt really do much to him cause i just wasnt ready. Though, it was an intimate moment between us. Well, now it feels like we arent as touchy feely as we use to be before this happened. I mean we still kiss and we still love each other but its not like we have to be touching each other all the time if that makes any sense. Which we werent all over each other to begin with. Though, is this normal. Im thinking maybe our curiousity isnt as strong anymore with each other? And at the same time, im kinda relieved cause I dont feel as pressured, not that he pressures me cause he doesent. But like I dont feel as if we are going to accidently go way to far one night. Maybe its just the honeymoon stage is over? Idk if im really making any sense, and im sorry if I dont but I figured maybe some of yall would maybe figure out what im trying to say. Thanks! Hope you can help.
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Hmm. You feel intimate. He probably feels blueballed. Guys are horny, and if you go long enough being horny enough with only your hand to keep you company, it gets kind of bad for us.
I like the "I don't think we're going to accidentally go to far" comment. You thought you might because you wanted to, and were mentally preparing yourself to "accidentally go too far" when you could justify it with the heat of the moment, and he's just never actually made the move.
I doubt the "Honeymoon" stage is over. Generally that only ends after you've had sex, or after one party has lost interest in sex (and thus probably the relationship)
As you move towards sex, things become less sweet and more horny. Guys aren't loving and sweet when the little man is demanding sex. Just doesn't work that way. Nothing to worry about really, but you might want to rehash the "when we're going to have sex" conversation in a non-judgemental way. I'd bet that if you got him completely honest you'd get "I'm ready for sex and I wish you were" which he'll never actually say to you because you're both inexperienced and so pressure=bad.
I think there's a disconnect between where you both are and where you both want to be sexually. Worth some conversation.
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I think that the two of you just need to talk about what happened. I am guessing that he is afraid that he has gone too far and is just "treading lightly" now. He is afraid to bring it up because he is afraid of what you might say. Everyone is afraid of rejection. I know you haven't rejected him or even said anything against what he did... but he is probably afraid of what you are thinking about him, especially because you didn't do anything to him in return that night. What if you started by saying, "I really enjoyed the other night. What did you think about it?" You could take that opportunity to reinforce your feelings about waiting to have sex (you may find that he feels exactly the same as you). Good luck!
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