fragileivory's advice column

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Q: Usually around 6 a.m. I have a big glass of 2% milk along with a tablespoon each of sugar and instant coffee. My lunch is a full meal around 12.15 p.m.

Does the glass of milk constitute breakfast or is it recommended to eat something else between the milk and lunch to kickstart my metabolism?

No. Liquid digests quicker and easier than food, so you need some food to hold you over and keep your metabolism going until lunch. If you're not hungry, have a small piece of fruit, or a slice of toast with that glass of milk. If you can have eggs, a bowl of cereal, fruit, anything that's great! But even if you're not hungry, you need to eat just a little bit for breakfast.

Q: ok, well every now and then i get these really really bad headaches, my eyes get very sensitive to light and even the slightest noise makes my head pound. Now iknow the cause of these headaches isnt from my vision, because ive had my eyes checked many times and i do wear glasses. What can be causing them? thanks 4 ur answers

Just a hunch... but have you had your teeth checked out? It took me 6 months to get to the dentist once, and I had really bad headaches. I was told I needed my wisdom teeth out. After I got them out, the headaches vanished. Just a thought. :)

Also, grinding your teeth can cause headaches. You might not even know you're doing it. Or you could be doing it in your sleep. That's the only thing I saw wasn't mentioned, everyone else had good ideas as well.

Q: I heard that gatorade is really bad for your teeth and like rots them or somthing is that true??

Gatorade will rot your teeth. The acid breaks down your tooth enamel and the sugar gets in there and rots your teeth. Gatorade = sugar + water + acid + artificial coloring. That doesn't sound very healthy does it?

If you drink a lot of gatorade, cut it down. Water is much better for you. If you drink gatorade, do it in moderation, and don't brush your teeth right away after drinking it. The toothbrush will rub the acid in and progress the rotting process. Wait 30 minutes, then brush.

Q: I'm 17 years old and I weigh under 100 pounds. I don't have an eating disorder or anything like that. In fact I eat a lot, and I'm pretty healthy. I don't like feeling so skinny though and I want to know if anyone has the same problem and if you have any suggestions for me to gain some weight? I've always been so small and weighed so little and seriously, if I got to even just 100 pounds I would be so happy. Smallness is kind of genetic in my family but I want to gain! Help please.

How tall are you? If you're between 4'9 and 5'1, this is probably a healthy weight for you and you shouldn't worry about changing it. Have you spoken to a doctor about this issue?

The main thing you want to worry about is staying healthy. Eating junk food will make you unhealthy, and it might not even make you gain weight either. Try to accept your size. If it's genetic, it's probably not healthy to change it anyway.

This may sound weird as well, but it may help if you exercise. You can gain a little bit of muscle weight. It won't help a lot, but you may feel more secure with yourself!

Q: I got a really bad hair-cut today, & its really short, I normally have very long hair, but now its really short... how can I grow out my hair as fast as possibul? & how long will it take? it dosen't have to be a day or something, but I'm going to some kind of beach thing in 2 weeks & I'm seeing a cosin in California a week after that, so I want to look good

14/M

Try rubbing your scalp while watching TV. It helps stimulate hair growth. Also, don't use a lot of products on your hair in the meantime, because it may stunt hair growth. Also, eat jello. Something in it is good for hair and nails.

Hair won't grow back overnight, but it should be a significant amount longer in two weeks. Not as long as it was, but it should look better.

Q: my friend Alyssa is a BIG liar, she always makes up stupid stories. and when i tell her shes lying, she gets mad at me and i have to apoligize. but anyway, heres the point: today in lunch, i was sitting with Alyssa, my other friend Cassi, and my other friend Jenna. Alyssa said she has a friend named Jake who likes me and she said i've hung out with him and i've never known anyone by the name of Jake. so when she left the table, my friend Cassi said "so...do you believe her about Jake?" and instantly i said "nope." so...should i believe her? im hoping shes right. she said he looks just like the boy who i like and hes HOTT! so, should i believe her or not?

I RATE 5'S FOR GOOD, FAST REPLIES!! :) bub byezzz

My older half-sister is the same why. It's utterly annoying. I don't know if you should believe her.

As a friend, definately trust her to a certain degree. In case it's true, pretend you believe her. But be cautioned -- she seems to be known to pull this sort of thing. Ask her to introduce you to this guy or point him out or something. If she points out a guy you've never seen before in your life -- she's probably lying.

Just be wary... you don't want to embarass yourself or bring drama. If you need anything else, let me know.

Q: me and my boyfriend have not had sex but for some reason the last 2 times he has fingered me, i bled. is that normal?

Yes. If his fingernails need to trimmed or if he's too rough, that's probably why. If you are a virgin, your hymen is still intact and he may have scratched it. It's no big deal, it happens all the time.

Q: Basically, here's the deal. Long and complicated, unfortunately -- and if it matters, I'm 18 and F.

* My two best friends, who I'll call A and B, have been fighting for years. After some stuff went on with B's mom, who A's always hated, B decided she had enough and broke off the friendship.

* I've told them both that, even if they stopped being friends, I was going to stay friends with both of them. A, however, will not have any of it. Every time we talk, she has to tell me that B will end up stabbing me in the back and isn't my real friend (not to mention she hates all of our mutual friends). B, for the record, doesn't understand why I'm still friends with A, but is okay with it.

* This has made my friendships with both of them pretty crappy. I've stopped hanging out with B so much just to shut A up, even though B and I are really close. This isn't enough for A, she wants me to hate B as much as she does, and it's about to drive me nuts.

* They can't make up, because A still wants to be friends with B (god knows why if she hates her so much) -- either that or she wants B to admit she's ruined A's life (which isn't true, IMHO). B doesn't want to be friends, and she doesn't want to apologize for everything A's accusing her of (some of it's true, most of it isn't).

* A takes all of this out on me and doesn't seem to care how I feel about it. This really pisses me off, and I've told her and tried to explain myself a zillion times, but it never seems to work.

So, I'm at my wit's end, and I have no idea what to do about any of this anymore. Anyone got an idea?

The solution obviously can't or won't be solved for a while. The best thing is to not get them involved, but it seems to be almost impossible. If it helps any, I think B sounds like a better friend than A.

A seems like the kind of person that likes and looks for drama. A hates all of your mutal friends -- who's to say she doesn't tell people she hates you as well? When someone is two-faced and talks about their friends badly, I immediately assume I am not an except.

If you want to choose sides, B probably would be wiser. I don't think choosing sides is a good idea... but if you're seriously considering it, go for it. This has been going on for years... has B ever shown any signs of being a backstabber? Because it sounds like A is one if she hates mutual friends.

You could try telling them both that you're not getting involved and that they're going to solve it on their own. Also, make it clear that you don't want the other friend mentioned to you while you're hanging out with one or the other because you can form your OWN opinion on them and don't need their opinion -- especially since the two are fighting.

Q: ok so im 13 im 5,3. im not fat but i think i have big thighs my mum says i dont but im really self consious of it. but whats really bugging me is the stretch marks on them they look horrible i no you can get cream and things but i dont think my mum would let me. can anyone give me advice???????????????????

Well, what teenage girl isn't insecure about something on their body? Your thighs probably aren't big at all -- I don't know you, but I'm willing to bet if I saw you I wouldn't think they were. Most girls I know do hate their thighs and think they're "huge", so don't worry about them.

For the stretchmarks, this is also something most girls get. When you're growing and going through puberty, they show up. Guys get them too while building muscle. They usually fade over time. Most of mine did. If they're dark they'll fade and pretty much disappear. If they're white, you'll have a much harder time getting rid of them.

The first thing I reccomend is putting on some sun screen and going outside and getting some sun. For whatever reason, the sun helps and with a little color on your skin, it's less noticeable. Look around in your mom's cabinets in the bathroom when you get the chance.

She probably will have something that will help with them. Look for cocoa butter, shea butter, or vitamin D or E in lotions your mother may have. Also, cocoa butter isn't that expensive and very effective. You could ask her to buy you some, if she doesn't have any. It's worth a shot.

Q: Hi. I have a really bad cold and i need a way to get better by tuesday. I have to go back to work on tuesday and i went to the doctor but she could only give me something for congestion but not my throat or body aches. My throat is the worst...is there anything i can do to help m throat, its very scratchy and sore when I swallow...

You can buy some cough drops, make sure they're medicated. Although, I find they only temporarily relieve my throat. Go to a drug store and get Cepocal brand if you can find it. They use them in a hospital and they are very strong. They come in a little box and taste nasty, but they're very effective.

You can try gargling warm salt water. I always do that when my throat is scratchy and it comforts my throat for a while.

Q: Okay so, I babysit everyday for 2 hours which some people have told me will burn alot of calories then as soon as I get home I do 2 hours/an hour and a half of dancing then if I have time I do 30 minutes of skipping (rope jumping)
I'm not doing it to lose weight it's just to stay in shape and keep me busy since I have nothing better to do.
Loads of people have told me I'm over excersizing and I know for a fact it's dangerous to over excersize.

Am I over excersizing?

Babysitting cannot be counted as exercising. You may burn calories from chasing pesky kids, but hopefully not consistently enough to say "wow. this is exercise"!

I used to over-exercise (I had became addicted!) and became very sick, and started to ache for weeks even if I took a break. You don't want to reach this point. I exercised for 3 - 5 hours a day. Most experts say that all you need is 30 minutes of exercise a day to stay fit, and I agree.

Personally, If I were you I'd probably cut it back at least an hour. I'm not you, and if you aren't getting sick often or having your muscles ache, don't worry about it. There was a point where I couldn't turn my neck because of disks because out of place from over-exercising.

Take it easy. I don't want you to get sick and suffer like I did. Also, if you're going to continue exercising this much, make sure you are eating enough! Get at least 2000 calories a day if you get a great deal of exercise like this, otherwise you may find yourself sickly underweight as well like I did. I wasn't building any muscle because of this, despite all of my exercising.

Take care, and if you need anything, feel free to ask me.

Q: I always get sidetracked and daydream in class. like i dont pay attention [i still get A's and B's somehow]. sometimes i will space out when people talk to me and they get mad sometimes. My friend always says "pay attention" or "i think u have ADD" .. this is botherin me now that someone pointed it out to me. Is this ADD.. if it matters 13/f

It could be. I space out all the time when people talk to me, and that's my biggest problem with ADD. Do you find yourself unable to follow directions? Does someone tell you to do something and you forget seconds later?

It may also just be that you're excited about something else or bored. The only way to find out for sure is to ask a doctor. Good luck, and let me know if you need anything else.

Q: Ok i get discharge and some times there are theses little colored threads, does anyone know what it is, someone told me once its beacuse i wear colored underwaer is thta true??

THanks

Most people probably get that. It's nothing to worry about. It's just a little thread from your underwear or pants seams. It'll probably be the same color as either your pants or underwear if you check. Don't worry about it at all. It's pretty normal.

If you need anything else, feel free to stop by my advice column.

Q: What is some really good emo music? Please name specific songs not just bands. Anything thats calm and good to just chill out to is great. thanks!
~Kelsey

Anything by Fall Out Boy, I absolutely love. My favorite song of theirs is "Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner" and "Sugar, We're Going Down". All of their songs are great, there is only one I don't like. Fall Out Boy is beyond doubt my favorite band.

Listen to "My Other Girlfriend Says I Have To Leave You" by I Voted For Kudos. They're my sister's favorite band. I don't know any other songs by them, but I love that one.

I'm not a huge emo music fan, but I tried to help, I hope you like my suggestions. If you need anything let me know.

Q: Can you wear a skirt when you have your period? Is it safe to? Because I have my school picture tomorrow and I'm due to get my period tomorrow too! So I dont know what I should do! Help me out here! Thanks

Absolutely yes. There's no reason it's not safe to wear a skirt. I would suggest wearing a tampon instead of a pad because if anything accidently is revealed, you don't want the pad wrappers showing. Unless you know it won't be windy tomorrow, then it probably won't be a problem.

Although, since you're due to get your period, just wear a panty liner if you don't have it by tomorrow morning when you get dressed and take some pads and tampons with you.

If you need anything else, let me know.

Q: Could someone tell me exactly what ADD is. i know what it means but my friend keeps saying i have it and i dont think i do.?

ADD is attention deficit disorder. Your friend may just be joking, but if you're seriously concerned, here is a link with info about it. I have it, it's not that bad.
http://www.add-adhd-help-center.com/symptoms_add_adhd.htm

If you're a girl, ADD is very hard to detect because you probably won't have the hyperactivity symptom.

Q: there is this girl and everyone hates her but shes sooooooooooooo anoying and SUCH a poser, i just wanna kick the shit out of her sometimes, what the hell do i do, anything non-violent plz

Ignore her. She's not worth your time. I bet there are plenty of others that agree. There are going to be plenty people like this everywhere you go, and it's best to learn to ignore it now.

If everyone hates her, she's bound to get karma on her back at some point or another. If she's under the impression you two are friends, make it clear that you're not so you do not have to deal with her. You don't want someone like this in your life.

Be assertive and confrontational if necessary. Good luck, and if you need anything else, let me know.

Q: I like this boy who he has liked me since we were younger and he recently asked this other girl out who he never liked before because he thought we broke up. I still like him but he ignores me and doesn't even look my way. How do I win him back? Thanks for your help!

~fellow advincenator

If you didn't consider the two of you broken up, you need to let him know fast. Talking to him is the only solution that has a chance of working. Somehow you need to get the message to him, because he won't realize on his own.

Send him an email or call if you feel akward. Also, I think a good way to approach him would be to say "I don't know what I did, but I'm really sorry and wish you would forgive me, because I miss you" or something like that. Make it sound sincere. If you don't know why he thinks you broke up, you need to find out.

Good luck! I hope I helped, and if you need anything else don't hesitate to ask.

Q: hey i wanna know where to get short shorts for not alot of money.. dont suggest hollister american eagel or any places like that.. that isnt my style and i also want some tight shirts.. i want low prices cause i dont have much money til next month and i need em now.. i wear mainly clothing like rocawear,babyphat,ecko..gunit..thanks bunches if you can help

Try Ravegirl. They're pretty cheap (I got some capris for 20$ there last week), and their shirts run tiny, so if you're looking for tight shirts, go there. They kind of cover a lot of styles, so you'll probably find exactly what you're looking for.

Also, check out Pacsun because they have some real cute short shorts right now, or you can check out JLo brand clothes which are pretty cute and probably more your style than Pacsun. But Pacsun has some real cute shorts, regardless so it's really worth looking.

Also, I like Debshops because they vary in styles too and have just about everything. They're also not pricey at all. I've seen TJMaxx and Marshalls carry some of the brands you mentioned for cheap. Good luck!

Q: okay...i am 13 f. my bf tried to french kiss me, and he bit my tounge. did i do something wrong? do u know a way that i could help him be a better kisser? thanks -olga

The first time I was kissed, the guy tried to french kiss me and bit my lip. I think it was nerves and that's what I got bit.

My friend's ex-boyfriends all say that the first time she kissed them she got nervous and accidently bit them. I think it's just normal for some people. My friend doesn't even realize she does it, or so she claims. I think the best thing to do is try again and ask him not to bite you and to be gentle.

Good luck. Let me know if you need anything else.

bio

Hi! I'm 16 year old girl and from Northeast PA. I attend school in Lackawanna county. I love animals, as you can tell by my picture of some adorable pigs.