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At My Wit's End
Basically, here's the deal. Long and complicated, unfortunately -- and if it matters, I'm 18 and F.
* My two best friends, who I'll call A and B, have been fighting for years. After some stuff went on with B's mom, who A's always hated, B decided she had enough and broke off the friendship.
* I've told them both that, even if they stopped being friends, I was going to stay friends with both of them. A, however, will not have any of it. Every time we talk, she has to tell me that B will end up stabbing me in the back and isn't my real friend (not to mention she hates all of our mutual friends). B, for the record, doesn't understand why I'm still friends with A, but is okay with it.
* This has made my friendships with both of them pretty crappy. I've stopped hanging out with B so much just to shut A up, even though B and I are really close. This isn't enough for A, she wants me to hate B as much as she does, and it's about to drive me nuts.
* They can't make up, because A still wants to be friends with B (god knows why if she hates her so much) -- either that or she wants B to admit she's ruined A's life (which isn't true, IMHO). B doesn't want to be friends, and she doesn't want to apologize for everything A's accusing her of (some of it's true, most of it isn't).
* A takes all of this out on me and doesn't seem to care how I feel about it. This really pisses me off, and I've told her and tried to explain myself a zillion times, but it never seems to work.
So, I'm at my wit's end, and I have no idea what to do about any of this anymore. Anyone got an idea?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Friend A is being totally unfair and in ways B is to. Stay out of it tho. Tell them if they dont stop arguing that you wont hang out with eather for a while. Also when you hang out with eather tell them not to talk about the other. If they do just leave! Make them shut up because they are making things way worse. They need to make up and figure out why they are really fighting and you need to help them! ♥
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Just go up to A and say that You're friends with B and if she doesn't like it then that's it. But that you really love being friends with her but you're friends with B as well! Hope I helped~! Oorrr you could try to pull a 7th heaven thing and make them be friends again.. neways gooodd luucckk!
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i think A is being very unfair, you should tell her that you and B are very close but you've stopped seeing B as much just to make her happy and that if she doesnt stop being unfair to you and taking everything out on you then you'll have to stop hanging out with her asmuch.
start seeing B more often and be as close as you used to be. if A cant except it then just forget about her because she isnt being a very good friend to you at all.
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It sounds a little bit like B is being a better friend to you. I know that they are both your friends, but you might have to stick with just one. If they cannot or will not reconcile, you might have to give A an ultimatum. Something like, "Either you need to stop giving me such a hard time about hanging out with B, or I can't be your friend anymore." It's sad, and it's hard, but the only options I see are living with things the way they are, hoping for them to reconcile, waiting for things to cool off so A is less angry about it, or letting a friend go.
I wish you much luck.
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The solution obviously can't or won't be solved for a while. The best thing is to not get them involved, but it seems to be almost impossible. If it helps any, I think B sounds like a better friend than A.
A seems like the kind of person that likes and looks for drama. A hates all of your mutal friends -- who's to say she doesn't tell people she hates you as well? When someone is two-faced and talks about their friends badly, I immediately assume I am not an except.
If you want to choose sides, B probably would be wiser. I don't think choosing sides is a good idea... but if you're seriously considering it, go for it. This has been going on for years... has B ever shown any signs of being a backstabber? Because it sounds like A is one if she hates mutual friends.
You could try telling them both that you're not getting involved and that they're going to solve it on their own. Also, make it clear that you don't want the other friend mentioned to you while you're hanging out with one or the other because you can form your OWN opinion on them and don't need their opinion -- especially since the two are fighting.
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omg i had the ame problem with my friends till finally i just had to pick a side. of course i try to work it out but they didnt want me to hang out with each other so maybe if you try to get them to hang out like invite both over to your house but dont tell them that the other person is coming that way you can get them both to sort out the problem together.
-Sam-
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