Is this girl sexually active with more than one partner? If so, you're taking a giant risk (think Booldborne pathogens!)! Direct ingestion of blood puts you at risk of contracting hep c and HIV. You can catch these diseases from someone who has then without direct contact with blood (although new studies show that it is less likely than previously thought with Hep C), but with direct ingestion of the blood of an infected person ups these chances to nearly 100%!

If you're going to get on the freaky-deaky side like this and experiment with playing the Edward Cullen of her menstrual cycle, Miss Foxy strongly recommends that it's with someone that you KNOW is disease free, NOT living a high risk lifestyle, and better yet, someone you are exclusive with so there's ZERO chance of these diseases being introduced.

Depends on the woman, although generally a woman will ovulate for 72 hours approximately 2 weeks after the first day of her period.

I have the same problem. I am a single mother and I had to eat when my daughter did, and often i'd eat awful foods.

Here's a solution that will help save your sanity and your waistline; it's working well for me:

What I did is join a gym that as part of your membership offers up to two hours of babysitting per day. Usually the larger gyms do cater to those with children. It may be a bit more pricey than other establishments, but hey, your health is worth it.

This is also time for me to relax and have me time even though I'm working out. I reward myself with 15 minutes in the gym hot tub after my work out.

Also, being a busy mom also often means eating on the run. Many fast food restraunts do offer healthier options, and check on dietfacts.com and you can find the best choices. Also, ask for the item without sauce and cheeses.


it's a difficult position to be in, but after a while you'll be able to balance Busy Mom and Healthy Mom and be a good influence on your children as well!

Sometimes, your head has the answer that your spirit just won't accept. I think you may have hit the nail on the head saying that you are addicted to drama, or, better put, the intensity of this relationship. While love may not be a choice that you can make, how you act upon this love is. When it comes down to deciding rather or not to continue this, you have some logical questions to ask yourself: What are your future goals in the aspects of family? Do you want children and a stable mate with which to build a future with? Or will this touch-and-go lamenting kind of relationship meet your needs? Are you, perhaps, addicted to even the depression it causes? Sometimes we need intense feelings as an affirmation that we are alive. Maybe that is what you are getting out of this relationship and why you do not write this person off.


However, as far as "winning him over"---I've been through this, girl. For a long time I had a very unstable lover that every morning that I woke up with him still next to me (even though I knew he was crazy over me, he was much like your guy sounds) it felt like a victory. That's not a battlefield you want to be on.

It's a highly personal matter. No one can make this decision but you. The answers are all right there within you, and so is the resolve to do what needs to be done.

I can't promise that you will get over him. The truth is that you probably won't. Remember this, though: The amazing thing about love is that it is resilient and diverse. Like a tulip that blooms every year, it comes from the same root but is a completely different flower every spring. You may always be weak in the knees when you see this person, but I'm quite sure that you will find a completely different person who will be just as vibrant in your life. It may not be the exact same love, but love nonetheless.

the reason that is painful is because the first time you have sex you will likely break your hymen, a piece of skin over part of the vaginal opening. It's different for every person, but most females do experience pain the first time they have intercourse.

The best way for you to reduce the amount of (possible) pain is to use a water based lubricant (even if you use a lubricated condom, add more lubricant) and go at it slowly.

Expect the possibility of some bleeding after the first time you have sex. That's normal; don't freak out.

You should almost definitely see a doctor if you continue to have abnormal bleeding. It may, in fact, have nothing to do with your boyfriend fingering you. There is a possibility that if he were very rough while fingering you that he broke your hymen, or popped your "cherry". However, that would not explain abdominal cramps.

BUT, on one hand, here is what could have happened:

There are many reasons that your period would be lighter that are well within the scope of "normal". Physical activity, especially something as vigorous as "cheer camp" undoubtably is, can definitely cause lighter and shorter menstration.


The bleeding could have been irritation if he was too rough, AND the abdominal cramps could have been caused by ovulation. Did these cramps occur about midcycle (smack dab between two periods)? Many women have slight cramping and sort of premenstrual symptoms during ovulation. It could have been a coincidence that they occured in conjunction with each other.

If you feel concerned about it, and if your cycle continues to be abnormal, or if you have irregular bleeding, your only option is to consult a doctor.

It absolutely does NOT make you gay. Many people, both male and female, enjoy anal stimulation and penetration. As to why she would want to do that- because the idea excited her, perhaps?

There aren't any "health issues" associated with being penetrated by a strap-on, as long as you use lots of lubricant and go at the speed in which you are comfortable. Make sure to let your partner know if something hurts or you are not enjoying it. Communicate!

Remember to use a water or silicone based lube.


If you want more in depth answers, there is a book by a former employee of Toys in Babeland called "Down and Dirty". I definitely recommend the read.

The only time that you can get pregnant is when sperm enters the vagina, period. If no ejaculate came into contact with your vaginal opening in any form or fashion, you have no chance of becoming pregnant.

However, if you were unclothed, and ejaculation occured very close to the vaginal opening, then there is a slight possibility of conception.

Is there such a thing as normal when it comes to sexuality?

Are you asking if this makes you gay? If so, then the answer is no. When you're a teenager, it's normal to be curious about all aspects of sexuality. It's visual discovery! The only way to tell if you are gay or bisexual is if you have sexual feelings/are attracted to members of the same sex. There are many women who are turned on by watching men go at it. There are people turned on by transsexuals. There are perfectly straight males who liked to dress up as women to have sex with their girlfriends.

What one person might call deviance is just another night in the bedroom for another.

There are as many ways to enjoy sexuality in this world as there are human beings. As long as you're obeying the laws of your country and state, enjoy carnality however you see fit!

It's always itchy and sometimes even burns a little the first time you shave down there, rather you are male or female. That will go away soon. You can use a vitamin E gel if the itching and burning is just too much for you.

As you have already been advised, shave in a warm bath and use a new razor. Always make sure you use a gel or lubricant of some kind (the Venus breeze already has the shaving gel on it, and i've heard numerous reports from females and even a couple of males who claim it's great for down there shaving) and go with the grain while shaving your pubic area. This will minimize the chance of ingrown hairs. Using a higher quality razor instead of a disposable will probably be more comfortable for the hair in the more sensitive area. Apply a slightly lighter pressure and as you've been advised, don't be afraid to pull back to get where you need.

Hope this is helpful.

Girl, go get him. 'Nough said.

This is no doubt a dangerous situation. You have to act as a friend. You are right: if this guy is hanging out in chat rooms for 13 year olds, there is a huge chance that he's a predator. I urge you that if your friend won't listen to reason, tell an adult who will act. I know that you don't want to rat your friend out. I've been there before when a friend was putting themself in a dangerous situation. My suggestion is this: write her a letter and let her know that if she doesn't cut off contact with this guy that you will have no choice but to let someone know BECAUSE you love her and that you are afraid for her. She might get mad at first, but eventually she'll understand.

Also, have you tried maybe helping her focus her attention elsewhere? If you keep her busy otherwise she won't have as much time to spend online with this guy. Perhaps you could introduce her to a chat buddy (or better yet, a real guy friend) her own age?

Since you don't mean you'll be going all the way, there should be very little consequences.

If you are referring to just making out with a few people, it's all in good fun, right? Make sure that since you are under the influence of alcohol that you will be in a safe enough place near people while having a bit of randy fun. Since you won't know these people, do NOT go to any secluded areas with them. If you are going to play around, don't get so intoxicated that all your good sense leaves you.

Also, remember that even if you don't have sex, you can still contract stds if you perform unprotected oral sex. Just in case the fun gets a little heavy, pack a flavoured condom just in case.

To start off, I will paraphrase the sentiments of Milan Kundera, author of "The Unbearable Lightness of Being." Here I go:

Basically, we are social animals, and being that we are, there are an infinite number of people that we look at and say to ourselves: "I'd do her/him." However, we keep coming back to that ONE, the one we want to build a life and home with. Lust is just that. It's just lust.


So, if he's happy with you and your marriage is working, don't stress over what he's thinking.


Now, to the root of the problem: COMMUNICATE! If you feel like you would like to have sex more often than you currently are, let your husband know how you feel. It is unlikely that he doesn't find you attractive or desireable, but marriage DOES change things. We become so locked in our routines and our other duties in life that sex can often end up being brushed aside. Let him know that you've noticed it. It may not even have occured to him.

Also, I have this suggestion: GO GET 'EM, GIRL! Women are often shy about being the aggressor, but if you want some lovin', tackle it. Perhaps he feels like you are too tired to be bothered with him initiating it, so give him the green light. When watching TV on the couch, let your hands wander to his netherregion, give him a seductive come hither towards the bedroom kiss, or just plain meet him at the door one day and tackle him!


Bottom line is you have to communicate. He can't read your mind. Let him know what you want.

Do not despair, girlchild!

In the words of author Chuck Palahniuk, "Nothing can ever be as good as you imagine it." So true, so true. Sometimes we build sex up in our minds to be this lifechanging, earth shattering thing, and we end up dissapointed. It's a beautiful and wonderful act, but it's not always as much of a pivotal moment as we build it up to be.


As far as having an orgasm: You are not alone! Many, many, MANY women don't experience orgasms until they've been sexually active for many years, and still other women don't EVER experience orgasm. Some women report that they aren't ever able to reach orgasm with vaginal penetration.

There are many reasons why you may not be reaching orgasm. Your mind may be somewhere else, or you may be so focused on getting off that you can't get there in the first place.

I recommend going at it alone: MASTURBATE! Find out what gets you going and where you like to be touched and where your buttons are. Can you reach orgasm by yourself? If you can, communicate with your boyfriend and try to get him near the spots that you hit when you're alone. Perhaps employ the use of clitoral vibrators during intercourse, or have your lover stimulate your clit manually. Also, you can try having sex in the doggystyle or another rear entry position so that your partner hits your G-spot, the area at the lower front of your vagina on your urethral sponge. For information on the different types of orgasms and how to reach them, Tristan Taormino, a former employee of Toys in Babeland, has written an excellent book called Down and Dirty. I highly recommend it----it's pretty much a manual about how to get off.

Most of all, communicate with your partner and let them know what feels good and what doesn't. I can't stress communication enough. It's the most important element.

Good luck!

First of all:

Kudos to you for using your heads and using a condom.

Sometimes these things happen, and it's par for the course if you are sexually active. If you get your next period on time, chalk it up as a learning experience; you're probably not pregnant.

However, if you brought yourself into the world of the sexually active, it's time to deal with the big issue of birth control. If your main worry is pregnancy, you might want to consider getting on the pill, that way if this occurs again your chances of getting pregnant will be dramatically reduced. You should also have a yearly gyno exam and be tested for stds. If you can get to the health department on your own, most states have a birth control program, and they are NOT required to tell your parents nor will they contact you by mail. If you're going to get serious with your love interest, get serious about precautions!

Good going on the condom though, E for effort! ;)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATON! You're just gonna have to suck it up and bring it out in the open. If you aren't mature enough to talk about sex, you aren't mature enough to have sex. Put your big girl panties on and deal with it.

It differs depending on the woman's cycle, but most women ovulate midcycle. Ovulation is when the egg is released from the ovaries, just sitting there waiting to be fertilized. A woman ovulates for, give or take, 72 hours. The time in her cycle when a woman is least likely to get pregnant is on her period.

You are LEAST likely to get pregnant when you are on your cycle. Generally, conception occurs when you ovulate, which is for most women about midcycle (1 1/2-2 weeks following menstration). HOWEVER, there is a small chance that you can get pregnant ANY time of the month. If you skip your next period, get a pregnancy test. If you're right on time, you're fine.

Take in to consideration that while this is the time you are least likely to get pregnant, when you are bleeding you are much more able to contract or spread diseases. Make sure to have yourself STD tested after every partner. If you are going to have unprotected sex with anyone during ANY time in your cycle, make sure that you know that you are both STD free. This is your health here and it should not be taken lightly in the heat of the moment.

In one word: Yep.

It really just means he was excited and into it. It's the blood flowing through his penis---sort of the motion of the heartbeat magnified in his naughties. Completely okay and nothing to be freaked out by.

This column is all about sex and relationships. I started it on the advice of a friend, who insists it should be my job to encourage people in their sexual endevours. ;) Ask anything- NOTHING is off limits!

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