Member Since: April 5, 2010
Answers: 21
Last Update: February 18, 2011
Visitors: 1737
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I'm eighteen years old. I've known my best friend since first grade and we've been best friends since we were in ninth grade. We used to drive to and from school together every single day junior and senior year, we hung out every chance we could, and senior year we went to prom together. I never really thought about being with him, and whenever someone would bring it up to me I would start to think about it and it would kind of gross me out. (Not that he's gross, he's just my best friend and I never thought of him that way.) He was always the goody-goody in high school, never drank, always did the right thing... and I was always the badass that was drunk all the time and hooking up with random guys. Well over the summer, I started to get feelings for him. I started noticing how grown up he was now and how much I really did love about him. I let these feelings go because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. We both are away at college now-- I'm an hour away from home and he's four hours away from home. The feelings won't go away now. I'm kind of a promiscuous person.. I hook up with a lot of different guys and I'm always with a new boyfriend, and while I like that lifestyle to an extent, I want my best friend. In the past year I have completely fallen in love with him and I can't get over it now. I guess all those years of my mom asking me to PLEASE date him (lol) is influencing me. I'm going to visit him at school next weekend, and we're going to get drunk and I feel like it's going to slip out... but I want to tell him how I feel. Should I do this? I don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin our friendship but I can't find the feelings anymore. (link)
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I agree with the other advice columnist. You absolutely have to tell him how you feel. Otherwise you will never know what could have been for the rest of your life. Do it in a casual way and if you say it in a way that isn't dramatic and a big deal chances are he won't think of it that way. Relationships can happen like this because it happened to two friends of mine.
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Okay, I'm 17/f and last night I had a dream. Im not too sure what the meaning behind it is, but it started out with my mom, my nana, and me. we was standing outside, and a bunch of little gnats came and swarm around a certain particular place in my dream, and where ever they would land, that area would set on fire. A bunch of poeple died in the fires, but for some reason- none of the people i was around did. My boyfriend was in the dream, along with a close friend of mine, and an ex of mine. Its like we all stuck together. We ended up in a room with a bunch of people, and I remember asking my mom if she noticed that majority of the people in the room with us were chrisitians. I remember in my dream I was talking to a man who was a really big christian, and I told him I was scared that I wasn't going to Heaven because of certain reasons. I told him I believe in god 100% and I pray to him sometimes, and I talk to him too, but different people have different beliefs on what you need to be accepted into Heaven.
*A couple of weeks ago, my bestfriend Erica told me her mom saw on the news that God was going to come to Earth to take all the Christians on a Thursday*
I remember in my dream, I followed Chris (the ex) in the bathroom, and I told him what Erica told me, and I told him "Look at my phone, today is Thursday!" and he said wow, your right, and look at the date its "11.11.11"
But, I guess what IM trying to say, is why am I having these dreams?
Am I going to hell? I mean, some people say as long as you believe in the lord, you'll get accepted into his home, but some say if you have never been baptised than you will be rejected.
I've never be baptised, I have been saved though. I smoke ciggarettes, Ive had sex before marriage, but Im not a complete slut, I curse. I use to steal. But when I use to feel really bad, I use to pray to god to tell him to forgive me for my sinss. But idk? (link)
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You aren't going to Hell. Maybe the dream is a sign though that your subconscious mind might be intrigued by Christianity? I think that's honestly the meaning of the dream and nothing more.
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Heyy
everyone cant stop going on about 2012! its scaring me, they say world will end. because all the weird stuff is happening.. the illuminati is becoming exposed through almost all the celebrities, 1000 blackbirds have dropped dead, over 100,000 fishes have just randomly died. Alot of people have started to sell their soul.. whats going on!!?!?! (link)
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Well to put it blatantly, the world will end for everyone someday when they die. So don't worry about it, and remember to drive safe.
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More recently the normal I have been having bad dreams.. I'll try to explain.
I'll be dreaming of myself dreaming. Except in my dream I am looking at myself sleeping (the surrounding is different though). I know I am dreaming and I try to wake myself up by talking or moving my body or flexing my butt. I don't do this in the dream. And I think I might be doing this in real life but I'm not sure. That's the part that bothers me I don't know if my dream self is doing it or my real self. This morning my mom came in my room (I was dreaming this but it also happened) and I tried to speak and move which I'm not sure if I did or not. But if I did I'm sure I looked like a freak. I don't wake up when I try.. I wake up on my own I guess.
It's scary. Here's another example. I was sleeping and I knew I was sleeping and I wanted to wake up so I tried to open my eyes a lot and I would dream they would open but they wouldn't actually open..
Looking back this has been happening for the longest time but it hasn't gotten scary until now.
I don't know if this makes any sense at all but let me know what you think. Why is this happening? I know dreams are difficult to understand and all but anything? (link)
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Sounds like you are having some sleep Paralysis. You can check out more about it here on the Wiki link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis
It's hard to say what the dreams mean because although there are tons of theories out there I think it really is unique to every individual what the dreams represent.
It could also be some anxiety type of dream. Usually dreams where you are lacking control and feel fear/panic are anxiety related. Before you go to bed try to do something moderately relaxing like listen to music or read. Also you could try taking some Valerian which is an herb that calms the body.
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So i played through ME2 all the way with all the dlcs and such and i wanna play through it again to get the level 30 achievement, but like i wanna pick different options. For ME3 i wanna be able to continue my game from the first play through and then when i finish that continue the game from the second play through.Is this possible or does my game get wiped if i continue with the same character from my first play through and if not can i start again with my ME1 character and have two separate game profiles for the same character? (link)
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ME has got to be one of the best games ever made. yeah you can always start again with your same ME1 character, and create different characters from it.
I don't think it totally would wipe your old character. If you are worried about your old character getting wiped than just go into where me2 is installed on your computer and in the folder marked "save" you will find all your old saves. I suggest you copy these and paste them in another folder on your desktop or something. That way if something does happen the ones you pasted will be unaltered and you can always copy and paste it back into the "save" folder if something happens.
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My boyfriend is a great guy. He's cute, pre-med, and my best friend in the whole world. We're 23 and talking marriage. We've been together 5 years, since college, and we are the only ones who know each other as the 18 year old kids we were when we met, and the adults we've turned into. We're each other's "first" for everything and I do love him and he loves me. He's my first and only boyfriend. BUT-- I don't feel passionately in love with him and little things about him frustrate me. I wonder if we have all the signs to end up like a typical married couple who don't talk or have sex because we don't have intense passion now, when we're 23. We have great sex and we have fun when we're together but I get annoyed by little things and we squabble like brother and sister sometimes. Am I just being naive because I don't have the rocky past to compare him to? Should I hold out for all-consuming passion and romance? (link)
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I think all the other post have covered this very well but I just want to add something.
If you have any doubts that this isn't going to work out than you shouldn't get married to him. You are already questioning all kinds of stuff and any problems you have now are only gonna become bigger issues in the future.
From reading your question it sounds like you need to move on as hard as that may be.
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I had sex and the condom broke some time but we didn't realize it until we were finished. How much sperm comes out when a condom breaks anyways? I want to know how worried I should be I guess LOL thnx (link)
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Yeah I would say it all depends on how much came out too like the other post.
It just depends. I've had this same thing happen to me, but there was still some in the condom.
To be on the safe side so you don't have to worry about this the woman should also be on the pill. You should use condoms and be on the pill, cause trust me a child is just about the most life changing/altering thing that can ever happen to you and you don't want it to be a surprise when it happens.
Use the pill, and the guy should always be using condoms. If he complains about how he can't feel anything thing with them on try out the trojan thintensities or durex ultra thins those work great.
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i wnt to stop cutting myself but i dont know how i really need advice any reccomended support groups i dont care what it is as long as it helps me stop cause i dont want to hurt myself anymore
15f (link)
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give this number a call it's a free hotline for self-injury abuse.
1 800 366 8288
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13/f my bf and i have been making out and i want to go farther. hes cool with it and said hed even go all the way with me but i dont want to go all the way yet. i want to go to like second base. how do you do second base with your bf? i mean wat IS second base really so i know what to do? (link)
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wow 13?! you should actually be playing baseball instead of using it as sexual innuendo.
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About a year ago my best friend and her bf set me up on date and after a while we started being boryfriend/girlfriend. My bestfriend started getting mad at my bf for "taking me away from her" or him getting mad at the stupidest things. So I had to make a decision between my bf or bestfriend and I chose my bf.After a year of barely talking to my bestfriend we started talkig again to try to make things work except my bf doesn't like the when I'm with her because they hate each other.now a year later I'm confronted with having to make the same decision..my boyfriend or bestfriend. My bf hates my bestfriend so much that he's making me choose.I have fun with both of them and just don't know who to choose.who should I pick? (17/f/Ca) (link)
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I'm not sure how long you've known your best friend or your boyfriend. I think how long you've known them is a huge part of the decision.
I personally think that you should keep your bestfriend though. Boyfriends will come and go but it's important to keep old friends. I would assume you've also known your bestfriend longer than your boyfriend which would be another reason.
Also another reason I would choose your bestfriend is because your boyfriend seems kinda shallow to make you "choose" between him and your best friend.
Chances are since your 17 you're gonna break up with the boyfriend eventually anyway. I say stick by your bestfriend and tell your boyfriend that if he doesn't like her he can leave. He might but who cares trust me you'll easily find another eventually. A good boyfriend will not ask you to choose either him or your best friend that just sounds ridiculous. (22/m)
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I want to kill myself soon but I don't want to make a big mess for my family to clean up. I was hoping to think of something that was quick and painless but I can't find one that meets all of my criteria. My life is a wreck and I'm so tired of living. My boyfriend broke up with me, my best friend isn't my friend after all, and I can't find a job even. My mom doesn't know I'm suicidal even and I just don't want her to have to deal with a big bloody mess if I did something. So, what are some fast and nonmessy ways to commit suicide at home? (link)
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Alright, here's some advice from someone that has been in the same situation as you...
Seriously. I know personally how it feels, and how sometimes you might wish you didn't feel anything at all instead of constant pain. The truth is though it doesn't have to be that way and once you find some happiness even a little you will look back at this point in your life and thank yourself you didn't do it.
Here's my advice and the answer you have been looking for. Get on some anti-depressant drugs immediately. You might as well try it out you have nothing to lose! You need to let others know what's going on.
If anything else live for others that care about you. I want you to live, and I guarantee you most people would say the same. After I started telling other people what was going on with my depression only then did my life finally start changing.
Just remember this. If you kill yourself you will be guaranteed to never feel happiness ever again, and there is no redo.
Whatever situation you are in you can resolve later, but you must take action immediately and you need to get on anti-depressants. Let friends or family know what's going on and if you want an anonymous person to talk about suicide call this number 1-800-784-2433
Good luck. Time really does heal all wounds, but you have to stick in there to find out for yourself.
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Im a 37 yr old female whose ex boyfriend recently asked me to start calling him after I initiated a call to him I asked him if he was seeing anyone and he said no. I started leaving messages and he never returned them so on one of the rare instances we connected I asked steve why he had not returned my calls and he said that he was very busy with alot going on i was surprised since he told me to call him, he told me i had a special place in his heart and that I made him laugh, after that phone call he txt messaged me after I had left a voice mail message and he asked me not to call him so often, I left one more message after that and a girl answered and told me steve was busy, i hung up the phone and decided I was not going to call this man again. After that Steve left me three messages the same night I had called and a female had answered and his first voice message was oops I was trying to call someone else. the second message was Hey if your still up and want to talk call me the second was hey its me again I thought you might still be out with the girls and you might want to talk since you called me tonight. WHAT WAS UP WITH THIS GUY ??? the only thing I could come up with was that he was carrying a grudge since i was the one who broke off our relationship the first time around. (link)
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Yes I agree with the other post.
How old is this guy is he in his 30's?! I'm a 22 year old guy and this guy sounds like a total flake to me.
Even if you do end up "connecting" with this guy you can be sure that any relationship you start up again is gonna be riddled with horrible communication problems as obviously he can't handle a simple decision. People do change and not always for the better.
I would move on and find someone new. Who knows what you will find!
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I have a colleague of the opposite sex. From the first day we met, we hit it off well and always found things to talk about.
Recently, I noticed that he might be showing signs of liking me, I'm not quite sure on that, and I may be wrong.
He does sweet things for me like when there was a drunkard who stumbled into the train, the drunkard kept staring and me and kept burping and standing unsteadilty. I told my colleage that I felt uncomfortable and, despite the crowdedness of the train, he squeezed in between me and the drunkard and was therefore standing at REALLY close proximity to me. I am not sure if he stood infront of me for the sake of allowing other passengers to pass, or was it to protect me.
Also, I notices that he stares at me sometimes as I am talking, but it could be nothing.
Whatever it is, the main concern is, I am attached. And i was wondering, it could be quite impossible for someone to like me when he knows that I'm already taken.
The thing is, If he continues to be so nice to me, I will eventually develope feelings for him as well. I don't wish to keep my distance from him because he's really my best friend at work and I really enjoy going to work bcos he is one of the few that I can really talk to at work. So please, i really need someone's advice on how to handle this. I don't wish to see my 2 yr relationship wrecked. (link)
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Alright, sounds like a tricky situation indeed...
Relationships at work are never really a good thing. It is quite understandable that since you spend a large portion of your time with him at work that some feelings may be developed. However it can get very messy if you two get involved. Although it may be exciting at first in the long run it could be dangerous. If you were to have a relationship with him and things went down the tube you would still be forced to work with him every day or one o you would have to leave the job!
Also I'm lead to understand that you already have a boyfriend. This is yet another reason not to get involved with the guy at work!
Also just because he's being a gentleman and staring at you doesn't mean he is infatuated with you. You may be jumping to conclusions. I'm a guy and I have a couple of attractive girls I work with, and sure I probably look at them more than the homeless people that walk in but that's just because they're nicer to look at. It doesn't mean I have fallen in love with all of them. As far as the thing on the train he was probably just being a good friend. If you had a close girlfriend and she did the same thing would you think she was attracted to you?
If you go for this guy most likely it will really stir things up. If you want to create your own Hollywood drama than this is your opportunity! You have to be prepared to lose your boyfriend, you might lose your job, and you might find out things about this guy you didn't want to know. My advice to you is to not get involved since he is a colleague of yours and you already have a boyfriend.
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What does it mean when a guy rapidly wiggled his tongue at you from between his teeth?
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yeah it is a "adult-rated" gesture. It basically means the guy wants to eat you out.
I'm not sure what the actual point of doing it is though but most likely it's just to get attention.
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so during the summer this guy asked me out and told me to text him with the answer. i told him i was busy and couldn't go, but i'm really sorry. the truth was that i didn't like him. i didn't want to break his heart, so i didn't tell him the truth. but he never replied and didn't talk to me for the rest of summer.
ever since we've been back at school, he's been acting soo weird. he saw me alone waiting for my friend one time, and then starting telling me that i'm depressed and emo and crazy(which i am not). then he stopped talking to me again. but then today i saw him in the hall, and he pretty much told me that I think he's hot and looks good. i was like wtf and walked away.
he's really getting on my nerves, but everytime i try and tell him that he just doesn't listen. what am i supposed to do??? (link)
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I agree with the other two post. The guy is really insecure and probably not that mature. I'm guessing you are both in High school??
If you haven't told him already you need to tell him straight up that you don't like him. Don't try to be nice about it, cause if you tip toe around it and he senses there's a chance he'll still keep at it.
After you tell him that be sure to ignore him if he still continues. He'll move on eventually.
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Hello donnelly2000. I have a question. I was dating this guy for about a year when we broke up. He broke up with me, telling me that we just have different desires for the future. I was understanding about it. It really hurt though I didn't let him see how much. Well, my friends are trying to force me into another relationship. They keep on introducing me to new people. It's nice to mingle a little, but the thing is i dont know if i want to find some one just yet.
Where should u draw the boundaries on what i do? (link)
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Hi,
Sometimes things just don't work out. Obviously your last boyfriend wasn't a great match for you but you will find another guy who's even better than him. A year long relationship is a good amount of time so it's only natural that you are hurt by the breakup. Your friends are probably trying to set you up in another relationship but this is only because they care about you and don't want to see you sad. This is a quick fix though, and going into a "rebound" relationship is a bad idea it's unfair to you and the other person. You need to allow some time before you date someone again, and don't force it. Be patient and wait at least a couple months!
It's important to keep an active social life, and not dwell to much on the past but you need to allow yourself time before you go into another relationship. If a great guy comes along and stuff happens then great, but you shouldn't force it. Even though it may seem like you will never get over your last boyfriend you will. At times like this it's ok to feel bad, but always keep in mind that it's only temporary and another guy WILL come along.
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I need to know if i am doing enough to please my man in bed please give me some advise i have been looking for help for days (link)
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haha yep that's so true what the other person wrote for advice.
Just ask the guy!!! trust me he will love to tell you what to do...
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I am an 18 year old senior in high school and am finding that it's hard to "let loose" and let my personality be out in the open (versus when being with very good friends); it's all very controlled. I am the shy type who is not that popular, but there is a girl (who is a bit up there on the social ladder) who has been showing interest in me, which she expresses in subtle ways. However, when I am shy or can't think of anything to say (so the consequence would be saying something dumb), any response to her seems to be a turn-off right away, while when I'm confident and feeling "in the zone" (when I sort of forget where I am and who I'm talking to), things really seem to be going really well. I really want to get over this however as I'm way more shy than outgoing, any help? This has been a problem for most of my life in social situations. Being purposely confident and outgoing have backfired (as it's forced and basically acted out), however I can't express my personality when I am shy as well... (link)
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Hey,
This is coming from a 22 year old guy. My advice is pretty straight forward though. You seem like a good guy. Eventually you have to let her know that you like her though. One thing is a guarantee and that is if you do nothing at all you have a 100% chance that nothing will happen! So you have to make a move. If your shy write her a note or something if you can't say it in person. Ideally though the more time you spend with her and talking to her the easier it's gonna be for both of you.
You're in high school too and a senior so if it doesn't work out than who cares cause you leave in a year!! Trust me college is even more fun and the girls are more fun too...
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19/M
If my girlfriend and I have both been tested for STDs with negative results, and she is on the pill, how necessary are condoms? (link)
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Hey,
I'm a 22 year old guy. Dude, I have to say even though it is better I think without condoms you should still use a condom even though your girlfriend is on the pill.
You don't have to use a condom all the time but you should use one most of the time. The pill is NOT 100% effective against pregnancy.
My girlfriend was on the pill, and I wasn't using condoms. Then she missed her period by a week and it was one of the most scariest weeks of my life!!! Luckily it turned out ok but it was one of the most stressful times I've had because there really was a chance that she was pregnant. Trust me you do not want to be there in the same situation I was thinking that you might be having a kid. You won't be able to sleep or eat or anything. A kid is a super life changing thing and also a very expensive one so you should be older and more financially stable before you have one.
So bottom line, you don't have to use a condom all the time but use it most of the time along with her being on the pill. Trust, having her get pregnant with a kid when you're 19 is not a good situation no matter how you look at it.
Have fun with it though, cheers
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So, I was dating a guy in the fall, and it didnt last long but we spent so much time together i pretty much just fell in love. He didn't, and still doesnt, have a very good home life, he and his mother do get along even on a respectable level. He used to be a bum(not literally). But even now,5 1/2 months later, my heart still wants him. I think from his childhood, he doesnt really know how to show affection and show he cares. I'm willing to accept that and just hope he learns. Because now he's on his feet, working, just got a car, and actually going to college next year, and i'm really extremely proud of him for making those choices. Lately we've been talking a lot more, and we both ended it with the people we were seeing. I thought this might change things with us, and for a few days it did. He was the sweet guy I hardly ever got a glimpse at. And then he started being the creepy guy who wanted to know who i was hanging out with, how i know them, and why he doesn't. That didn't last long. But then he started with one-word answers to all my texts, which is practically the only way i can talk to him because he works almost every day of the week. Because i'm me, i called him out on it and he stopped. Everything was fine for a couple days, then I would see on his facebook him commenting on all these other girls pictures saying how cute they were and stuff, but he NEVER did that to mine. Even when we were dating. Last night i asked him if he's just looking to hookup, and he basically said "i dont know" and i told him i wanted him, but i didnt want to attach myself to someone who wasnt going to feel the same way in return. He said he understood that, but i just want the old him back. And the worst part is that i'm totally under his spell. if he told me to jump off a bridge i'd probably do it if he promised me his heart would be at the bottom. Basically its like i'm the only one trying here, and he isnt making any effort at all. But when i see him at school, he hugs me and kisses me like its nothing. What do i even do about this? I want to keep trying until he realizes how much effort i'm putting in and puts some of his own in... (link)
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Yeah I agree with what the other columnist wrote.
You're 15! That's super young... It's understandable that you would be worrying about this so much but it's probably best if you let him go. I'm a 22 year old guy, and I can safely say that when a girl is obsessed and always trying to spend time with you it's never a good thing in the guys eyes. That's just gonna push him away. So just be normal with him, and hey you're just starting the whole dating thing and there's soooo many people out there. Also believe it or not you're gonna change a lot within the next 6 years or so.
Don't take the whole thing to seriously, don't "try" to get him to like you, and know that in your future there's gonna be other guys that you will absolutely love, and will say they absolutely love you. Even though it may be hard to believe that at this point in your life.
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