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Why are guys so utterly confusing?
So, I was dating a guy in the fall, and it didnt last long but we spent so much time together i pretty much just fell in love. He didn't, and still doesnt, have a very good home life, he and his mother do get along even on a respectable level. He used to be a bum(not literally). But even now,5 1/2 months later, my heart still wants him. I think from his childhood, he doesnt really know how to show affection and show he cares. I'm willing to accept that and just hope he learns. Because now he's on his feet, working, just got a car, and actually going to college next year, and i'm really extremely proud of him for making those choices. Lately we've been talking a lot more, and we both ended it with the people we were seeing. I thought this might change things with us, and for a few days it did. He was the sweet guy I hardly ever got a glimpse at. And then he started being the creepy guy who wanted to know who i was hanging out with, how i know them, and why he doesn't. That didn't last long. But then he started with one-word answers to all my texts, which is practically the only way i can talk to him because he works almost every day of the week. Because i'm me, i called him out on it and he stopped. Everything was fine for a couple days, then I would see on his facebook him commenting on all these other girls pictures saying how cute they were and stuff, but he NEVER did that to mine. Even when we were dating. Last night i asked him if he's just looking to hookup, and he basically said "i dont know" and i told him i wanted him, but i didnt want to attach myself to someone who wasnt going to feel the same way in return. He said he understood that, but i just want the old him back. And the worst part is that i'm totally under his spell. if he told me to jump off a bridge i'd probably do it if he promised me his heart would be at the bottom. Basically its like i'm the only one trying here, and he isnt making any effort at all. But when i see him at school, he hugs me and kisses me like its nothing. What do i even do about this? I want to keep trying until he realizes how much effort i'm putting in and puts some of his own in...
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Yeah I agree with what the other columnist wrote.
You're 15! That's super young... It's understandable that you would be worrying about this so much but it's probably best if you let him go. I'm a 22 year old guy, and I can safely say that when a girl is obsessed and always trying to spend time with you it's never a good thing in the guys eyes. That's just gonna push him away. So just be normal with him, and hey you're just starting the whole dating thing and there's soooo many people out there. Also believe it or not you're gonna change a lot within the next 6 years or so.
Don't take the whole thing to seriously, don't "try" to get him to like you, and know that in your future there's gonna be other guys that you will absolutely love, and will say they absolutely love you. Even though it may be hard to believe that at this point in your life.
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My advice to you is your young and not to get hooked on one guy this early in life. Since you are however i'd tell you he's using you and you just don't want to see it (which i understand ive been there praying he would notice how much i cared and start caring back) but it doesnt work that way. Your going to fall "in love" several more times before you understand what it really is. I dated the same guy from 12-18 and thought i was in love but once we split up and i did fall in love with someone else i realized he was more like a great friend. All i can say though is stop trying so hard don't give him 100 percent of your attention because thats what he wants but he wont give it back while your doing that. He is obviously looking into other women so he isn't into you at all the way he should be in a relationship.
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