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I have a colleague of the opposite sex. From the first day we met, we hit it off well and always found things to talk about.
Recently, I noticed that he might be showing signs of liking me, I'm not quite sure on that, and I may be wrong.
He does sweet things for me like when there was a drunkard who stumbled into the train, the drunkard kept staring and me and kept burping and standing unsteadilty. I told my colleage that I felt uncomfortable and, despite the crowdedness of the train, he squeezed in between me and the drunkard and was therefore standing at REALLY close proximity to me. I am not sure if he stood infront of me for the sake of allowing other passengers to pass, or was it to protect me.
Also, I notices that he stares at me sometimes as I am talking, but it could be nothing.
Whatever it is, the main concern is, I am attached. And i was wondering, it could be quite impossible for someone to like me when he knows that I'm already taken.
The thing is, If he continues to be so nice to me, I will eventually develope feelings for him as well. I don't wish to keep my distance from him because he's really my best friend at work and I really enjoy going to work bcos he is one of the few that I can really talk to at work. So please, i really need someone's advice on how to handle this. I don't wish to see my 2 yr relationship wrecked.
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It's perfectly possible to have feelings for someone who you know is attached. It's also perfectly possible to never act on that harmless crush.
What worries me isn't him. He seems to get it. He seems to know he can be nice to you, and even have a good crush on you, without crossing any lines.
Your statement that "If he continues to be so nice to me, I will eventually develope feelings for him as well." scares the hell out of me. Do you really develope romantic feelings for everyone who is nice to you? I don't. I've had co-workers and friends I've had close friendships with, and a bit of flirting for years with, but I've never cheated on my partner. I've never even wanted too. These are just friendships where everyone behaves themselves. Crushes are just crushes and they often pass in time and blend into the admiration and friendship you have for someone.
However, if you honestly feel that you can't handle someone else who might have a crush on you, and be kind to you, without you developing romantic feelings for them, then you have a big problem and you MUST back off from the friendship. Not because he is doing anything wrong, but because you seem to suspect that you won't be able to control yourself around him.
That’s the problem. He hasn’t shown any signs of crossing any lines. If you are worried that you can’t stop yourself from crossing the boundaries and endangering your relationship, then you really need to work on your self control, or stay completely away from temptation.
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Alright, sounds like a tricky situation indeed...
Relationships at work are never really a good thing. It is quite understandable that since you spend a large portion of your time with him at work that some feelings may be developed. However it can get very messy if you two get involved. Although it may be exciting at first in the long run it could be dangerous. If you were to have a relationship with him and things went down the tube you would still be forced to work with him every day or one o you would have to leave the job!
Also I'm lead to understand that you already have a boyfriend. This is yet another reason not to get involved with the guy at work!
Also just because he's being a gentleman and staring at you doesn't mean he is infatuated with you. You may be jumping to conclusions. I'm a guy and I have a couple of attractive girls I work with, and sure I probably look at them more than the homeless people that walk in but that's just because they're nicer to look at. It doesn't mean I have fallen in love with all of them. As far as the thing on the train he was probably just being a good friend. If you had a close girlfriend and she did the same thing would you think she was attracted to you?
If you go for this guy most likely it will really stir things up. If you want to create your own Hollywood drama than this is your opportunity! You have to be prepared to lose your boyfriend, you might lose your job, and you might find out things about this guy you didn't want to know. My advice to you is to not get involved since he is a colleague of yours and you already have a boyfriend.
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