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I'm in love with my best friend
I'm eighteen years old. I've known my best friend since first grade and we've been best friends since we were in ninth grade. We used to drive to and from school together every single day junior and senior year, we hung out every chance we could, and senior year we went to prom together. I never really thought about being with him, and whenever someone would bring it up to me I would start to think about it and it would kind of gross me out. (Not that he's gross, he's just my best friend and I never thought of him that way.) He was always the goody-goody in high school, never drank, always did the right thing... and I was always the badass that was drunk all the time and hooking up with random guys. Well over the summer, I started to get feelings for him. I started noticing how grown up he was now and how much I really did love about him. I let these feelings go because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. We both are away at college now-- I'm an hour away from home and he's four hours away from home. The feelings won't go away now. I'm kind of a promiscuous person.. I hook up with a lot of different guys and I'm always with a new boyfriend, and while I like that lifestyle to an extent, I want my best friend. In the past year I have completely fallen in love with him and I can't get over it now. I guess all those years of my mom asking me to PLEASE date him (lol) is influencing me. I'm going to visit him at school next weekend, and we're going to get drunk and I feel like it's going to slip out... but I want to tell him how I feel. Should I do this? I don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin our friendship but I can't find the feelings anymore.
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I agree with the other advice columnist. You absolutely have to tell him how you feel. Otherwise you will never know what could have been for the rest of your life. Do it in a casual way and if you say it in a way that isn't dramatic and a big deal chances are he won't think of it that way. Relationships can happen like this because it happened to two friends of mine.
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Hi,
I think you should casually ask him if he would like to be more than friends. That way you don't sound too pushy and you can find out how he feels for you. For all you know, he might be feeling the same way and never had the courage to bring it up. Your not risking the friendship if you are just asking his opinion.
He may ask if you are really interested in him or if you are just looking for a hook-up considering your past. If he feels the same way as you, explain that you think he is a great guy, that he brings out the best in you, that you miss him, and that you would like it if he gave you a chance. He has been your best friend for a long time so I'm sure he will give you that shot. Be sure to talk to him when you are both sober, so you are both being honest with eachother. There is nothing worse than getting drunk, having someone tell you they love you, believing it, hooking up and then being totally crushed/regretful later on.
Discussing your relationship with him in a comfortable setting will make the topic much easier to bring up. Catch up first: hang out, talk, watch movies.. THEN have a few drinks with eachother. Just be honest with him: ask him if he would consider being more than friends and go from there. Instead of spending time wondering what could of been; take that step and see if it can happen <3
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