countriebabe08's advice column

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Q: What age do most girls loose their virginity? i am 13 is that ok?

Don't do it.

I lost my virginity at 13 years old, and around 15 became sexually active. I regret it very much. I have to deal with the fact that my husband, knows exactly how many women he's slept with, and I can't remember or count the amount that I have because I started at such a young age.

Wait until you are ready, when you know it is the right moment. If you have to question it you are in no way ready for sex, and at 13 you are in no place for commitment. Sex is a commitment, to yourself, to your partner, to be safe and secure. You have to trust the person you are having sex with as well.

I'm telling you to wait, but if you have already done it you're not a whore, you're not a bad person. You just made a bad mistake, people (like me) do it all the time.

I hope I helped

-Alyssa

Q: soo... how do you know if you have a yeast infection? besides going to the doc. and how do u get rid of it besides going to the doc...? thanks much apprieciated...

What are the symptoms?
A yeast infection causes itching or soreness in the vagina and sometimes causes pain or burning when you urinate or have sex. Some women also have a thick, clumpy, white discharge that has no odor and looks a little like cottage cheese.

These symptoms are more likely to occur during the week before your menstrual period.

How is it treated?
If you have had a yeast infection before and can recognize the symptoms, and you aren't pregnant, you can treat yourself at home with medicines you can buy without a prescription. You can use an antifungal cream, or a suppository that you put into your vagina, or antifungal tablets that you swallow.

If your symptoms are mild, you may want to wait to see if they clear up on their own.

Yeast infections are common during pregnancy. If you are pregnant, don't use medicine for a yeast infection without talking to your doctor first.

If you use a cream or suppository to treat the infection, don't depend on a condom or diaphragm for birth control. The oil in some medicines weakens latex, the material often used to make these devices.

Many women have infections that come back. If you have more than four yeast infections in a year, see your doctor. He or she may do some tests to see if your yeast infections are being caused by another health problem, such as diabetes.

Q: 13/f
okay, so i am in pain (as in cramps) all the time, not just when i get my period. the only thing that helps is painkillers. the thing is, my mum and sister have the same thing. except mum said her cramps got a lot better after having a baby. my sister has had several tests done on her (she's 26) and apparently it's all in her head. how can it just be in your head when all three of us have it and are doubled over in pain? does anyone know what might be wrong?

Sounds like Endometriosis.
This is a website all about it: http://www.endo-resolved.com/index.html
Extreme cramps could be anything, but definitely not in your head. Definitely go to a different doctor. In the meantime, just do what you can to stand the pain.
I hope I helped, and I really hope you find what you all have, because it must be a hereditary disease, and will be passed down to any other females in your family, and you need to know how to treat it.
-countriebabe08

Q: ight well me n my girlfriend are haveing problems right now people are telling her stuff bout me n now shes hangin out wit her ex no im not sayin im judgein cuz i trust her but now i find out she added him again on facebook n idk i need help i guess

Hmm, this is a bit of a toughie. Sorry to tell you this, but if you're thinking these things then some part of you doesn't trust her. You need to figure out why.
I am going to say this, however. It is possible for exes to remain friends. Just because they are hanging out again doesn't mean they're doing anything. If they were together a long time, there will be feelings involved between them. If it was a small little relationship, then it's highly possible they got over that and became friends.
Now about her friends telling her things about you. Are they false allegations? If so you need to tell her that. If you want it to work, you need to make it work. She's likely to believe her friends, especially if they've been friends a long time. But if she truly loves you she will hear you out. Hope I helped! :)
-countrie

Q: im tired of taking BC pills everyday to prevent pregnancy. Isnt there like a shot i can get from my doctor that will prevent me from getting pregnant for like 5 years no matter if i use protection or not?

Yes, there is a shot, I have been on it for 6 months now. You get a shot every three months, and there is another thing that will protect you for like 2 or 3 years. It is a little rod that they implant in your arm, and it stays there until you are ready to take it out. The shot lasts for three months, then you have to get a new one.
Next thing, you can't just go to any doctor to do this. You have to go to a gynecologist.
but remember, not any kind of birth control is 100% effective. There is always the chance of getting pregnant, so use protection whether you are using BC or not, so you don't have to worry.
Hope I helped,
~countriebabe08

Q: my friend mark and i go to different schools, he was on my baseball team in 4th grade and weve been best friends since pre k
we now go to different high schoools and he doesnt want to talk to me anymore
ignores and/or doesnt respond for years on IMS
doesnt call me as much
neveer wants to hang out
im his best bud and hes too busey for me
i just dont know what to do i really want him and i to be best friends
he does all this stuff with his new friends and he wants to hang out with them more
im not saying hes being like a bad friend
im just saying he could atleast try with me and work with what time we DO have together, or time that he LETS us have together

Y'all have just simply grown up. As you get older, guys sometimes think they can't hang out with girls. If you really want to hang out with him, tell him. Just say, I really miss the relationship we used to have as best friends...or maybe he just doesn't want to hang out with you. Since yall are older, he probably gets better along with his guy friends and wouldn't know what to do with a one-on-one friendship with a girl. I really don't know, because I don't know how your relationship previously was, but that is the most reasonable explanation i have.
Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: I'm 16. I've had my period for 5 or 6 years. I'm well aware about these things, just one thing confuses me. I've always had an irregular period. Well, it's been regular.. it came every month but for like 10 days or so. So I've been on birth control for more than half a year. Throughout all of my years of having a period.. I've never experienced PMS until now. I've always been the mellow one.. so it's all new and it's irritating me. I do not like how I act towards my boyfriend. I see him a lot and I'm a monster to him a week before my period.. then while my placebo pills come into play.. I get depressed and I only get my period for 3 days.. so this is not cool. Especially when I get bloated a week before my period.. and half a week after it too. I'm skinny so i seem to gain like 5 to 10 pounds. I want some advice on this. How can I change my behavior? I'm well aware that I'm acting rude and it really hurts because I can't take back my actions. My boyfriend understands completely but it still hurts you know? It also hurts when older people give me angry stares because I look pregnant. I need help with PMS basically and bloating. I've been trying to work out to tone my stomach and this whole bloating business.. is holding me back.. I don't enjoy looking bloating for nearly 3 weeks. Someone told me to drink lots of water.. but I don't see how that would help. Any sites.. or tips? Something! I can't switch birth control right now.

Whoever said to drink lots of water was right. TONS of water will help with the bloating. Plus, you could also take midol or some other over the counter pills for that kind of stuff. You could even ask the guy (or girl) at the pharmacy which works best or which they prefer. Switching birth control would not help. I know, I'm 17 and I have been on like 5 different kinds. It's not healthy anyway. Eat healthy and it will help. I still don't eat healthy and I look like I am pregnant. I am a senior in high school and I have been asked since I was a freshman which was when I first went on birth control if I was pregnant. Water will help because it will flush out the system.
Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: ok, my bofeiend and i had this HUGE figh i broke up with him...to to make a long story short he called me a whore and went PSYCHO! so lately..ive been feeling really different towards him. so theres this other guy named dave and hes the sweetest guy ever..and i REALLY like him..but i don't know if he likes me.. yesterday on the bus..he was like touching my leg the whole way home and it was like his hand was just resting on my leg! and when i got back together with my boyfriend...he seemed mad...but he says its because my boyfriend doesnt deserve me.. i dont know what to do..everyone says i should break up with my boyfriend..because he's psycho..but i do love him..but im scared that hes gonna go psycho if i break up with him... and i had no idea that he was like this...until i broke up with him the other day...and its been 9 months..so im pretty deep into the relationship...please help.shouold i date dave who i have a HUGE amount of feelings for or my bf, who when he has his good days is better than dave but when he has his down days...is the biggest A**hole EVER and he's psycho..?? please just give me ADVICE do not tell me how bad of a person i am because i like someone else when im dating somoeone..i know i am already..

A few months ago I got out of a relationship like that. Our relationship had been on and off for a year. If you really think he is really bad and he will end up hurting you on a bad day, you don't need to be with him. My ex was like that and sometimes I was scared of him. What happened was I caught him flirting with another girl and ended it right then and there. After that, I ignored his every call to try and get me back, he told me how bad he felt, how much he missed me, but I could never be with him again. Break up with him and tell him that when he can calm down and get his life straight, you might have another chance. But don't leave him hanging. If you found someone else you think would be way better than the other guy, then I say take that opportunity, and drop the one who you know is not the one for you.

Q: i am so depressed right now. my best friend and i got into a HUGE fight that we both kind of started and it's making me so confused. after getting out what we both needed to say, i had this really long heartfelt apology because i hated the fight and knew that someone had to step up and be the better woman. then she said that saying sorry wasn't good enough, even though it wasn't just any apology! i really meant what i said and she threw it back like it was worthless. i understand that saying sorry doesn't magically make everything all right, but what else could i do? she really seems on the verge of leaving behind the whole friendship, but i'm not ready for that and i want to fight for it. i'm so sad because i feel like there's nothing else i can do. i'm reeaally really depressed but she doesn't care. what else can i do? please im desperate..

Give her some time. If y'all were really really good friends, there is no way she can just leave you like that. I am in the same situation right now, my best friend of 8 years hasn't talked to me in like a month and it really really sucks because i feel like she doesn't even care about me. she has new friends and everything. That is all you can do. Go out and make some new friends, and enjoy your life while you have it. There is no reason to live in depression because of one person. If you have other friends, hang with them for a while. I assure you, your friend will eventually call you and say sorry.

Q: Hi, I really hope you can help; i've gotten mixed responses from others...

Basically, my BF discovered that in my senior year of college (I graduated last year) I had taken two semesters worth of judo classes and he thought this was really funny b/c I don't look like, I guess, a "typical" jock chick--that is i'm not muscular or buff or whatever...i'm your stereotypical "girly girl" in appearance--tall, skinny, blond hair, blah blah blah and I'm like 125 lbs....so he's laughing at me, calling me "judogirl", etc., and I was fine w/all that, if a little annoyed, but then he made a mistake: he challenged me to a wrestling match...and I beat him.

He outweighs me by like 40 lbs. and is pretty strong but he didn't understand that my judo skills would use his strength against him and he just couldn't believe I won. I figured it was a one-time deal, but he was so bent out of shape that he's challenged me several times since then, and I've defeated him every time. It would be OK if he didn't take it so seriously, but he just becomes this mean pouty jerk when he loses and keeps challenging me and now i've refused to wrestle him b/c it's no fun and I hate his sexist attitude as well. But refusing to wrestle just makes him angrier and he says stuff like "you're just afraid i'll figure out your 'tricks' and win...it's so annoying!

I've considered just faking it and letting him win but I don't REALLY want to do that b/c I'm proud of my skills, and just wish he would be too...plus when he baits me w/all this "you're just a girl" crap, it gets my goat and i'm more than happy to throw him to the floor and pin him when he gets too tired to fight me off...

Have you ever beaten a boy at something athletic--whether martial arts or sports--or know a girl who has? B/c maybe if I can tell him he's not the only one he won't feel so bad...

OK, let me start off by saying thanks for posting a question in my inbox.....

Every guy is the same. They all think girls are just there to look pretty, and most of them think they are there to protect the common female.

Your answer....no, i have never beaten a guy at anything like that...I am a very small girl and my parents babied me so i don't really know any self-defense. Be glad you know enough self-defense to make it out there on your own. What he needs to realize is that many girls out there can take care of themselves, even if it takes challenging them all to do so. You should invite him to one of your classes, so he can see that other girls, like ones in your class, can fight and stand up for themself. You can't just sit there and let him think every female needs constant protection, and you don't need a bodyguard. If he feels he needs to be a bodyguard to someone, you don't cut the credit. Just sit him down and tell him, I don't need a bodyguard, I can take care of myself. If he can't deal with that, then he needs to find someone else he can baby and protect.

Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: Okay so I am taking my ACT in October I guess..What should I be expecting? Is it as nervewrecking as it seems? How can I prepare because I am not taking ACT Prep this year..Uhmm..What exactly would be a good score for college and scholorships? Is it a good idea to take both the ACT and the SAT? What is the difference? Please someone just help me with this topic..Anything will do...Thanks much :]

Different colleges accept different test scores to determine if you are able to be in the college or not. Some accept ACT, some accept SAT, and some accept both. The most common one for a college to take is the SAT, but if you get a good ACT score it will help out alot.
Hope I helped.
Countriebabe08

Q:
Whenever I'm in a car, I'll look over and they'll be a hott guy in the car next to me and he'll be STARING at me. It's so annoying! Guys always do that. And I went to Yankee Stadium and guys were staring at my ass and I wasn't wearing anything revealing! And like if there's a car in front of me, I'll be in the front seat and boys will turn around and stare me down. It's embarassing! Especially when I'm with my dad, haha. I'm only 13! I don't do anything to make them look either. Yet no one in my school even gives two looks at me. I don't get it!! Does this ever happen to any of you? I can't go a day without a random 15 year old guy flirting with me. It's kinda fun when I'm with my friends but when I'm with my parents it's like AH GET AWAY. Haha but if this happens to other people I'd love to hear about it...

Yeah, that's just how guys are. Chances are, if a guy just randomly stares at you from a car or a random place you will never see him again, so it won't matter. When your parents are around, just ignore them.

Q: My mom says I can't cook, but I want to prove her wrong by cooking a good meal. Can someone give me an easy meal to cook?(directions included)

Cook something that was meant for a kid to cook. This website has some really good and easy recipies that are meant for kids but older people use them too.
http://kid.allrecipes.com/
I just say go there and see if anything sounds like something you want to try to cook. Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: well i tried to log onto yahoo messenger and it won't let me, i keep getting the message that says it was unable to, so i was told to change my connection settings and try the different proxy types. well that didn't work. so what should i do? how many proxies should it be on?

The yahoo servers are down, all my friends are having problems signing in today. Like, nobody has been able to and we're all getting that error. Just leave your proxy settings alone, and keep trying to log in and when yahoo has it fixed, you'll be able to log in just like usual.
~countriebabe08

Q: Hey i have my first interview in the next couple days, and im really nervous. I have no idea what to say or what questions they're going to ask. Since this is my first job do you think that i'll get hired? Because i have little work experience? Any piece of advice would be very helpful!!! thanks

Hey, everyone has to start somewhere. I'm sure they will hire you if the inter view goes well. Some questions they may ask:
-How are you going to get to work
-Do you smoke/drink
-Have you had any past history with the law
-Have you ever been fired and if so, for what
I have never had a job, much less had to go to an interview, but those are a few questions people have told me they ask. Hope I help.
~countriebabe08

Q: 14/f

i need help. can anyone give directions on how to make out?

Making out just comes naturally. There are no instructions. However, just don't open your mouth too wide. And don't make it too sloppy. Most guys don't like that. Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: my boyfriend gets extremely jealous whenever another guy compliments me, such as on myspace picture comments, and he sends them messages saying really mean things! ( i have his myspace password..shh haha) he told my guy friend to go to hell when all my friend said was "hey how are u youre pretty hot now". Is this jealousy a sign of how much he loves me or is he just very insecure? or both?

It shows how much he loves you. I do it to my boyfriends and it usually ends up in break ups cuz my boyfriends don't like it when I get jealous like that. It's how he's saying, "She's mine, back off." He just doesn't want to lose you to anybody else who might be flirting with you. I know because I'm always in his situation. I don't want to lose my boyfriend, so I talk girls that he talks to, asking them what they talk about and stuff. So, yes. It's basically showing that he loves you. Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: My boyfriend and I make out all the time. He wants me to go father with him. I don't know what he wants, but my question is what can I do and how do I do it?

Go as far as you feel comfortable going. And don't do it just because he wants you to. If you feel like he's pushing you, he's probably not the right guy for you and you shouldn't do anything more with him. Do what you feel is right and guys sorta like it if you don't know what you're doing. Whether he knows what he's doing or not, it won't matter. Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: okay last night this kid gave me a hickey. how long do they usually last & is there a way to get rid of them? and what is the point of a hickey? like what does it do?

A hickey can last from a couple days to a week. It depends on the darkness and how big it is.
A hickey is like a guy's way to brand you. like, you know how farmers brand their animsals with a certain symobol, saying, "this is my cow and everyone knows it when they see this." The hickey is like the branding, saying "youre mine now and nobody else can have you." Or if y'all aren't in any kind of relationship, it can just be, "you're mine for now, and I'm gonna mess with you and do things with you." Like friends with benefits. You can't really get rid of it, but there is a way to help the process of it fading and make it go quicker, I'm just not sure what it is. It does nothing to your skin, it just sits there for all the world to see. You could try covering it up with makeup, but sometimes it takes a lot of makeup to cover one up. You just have to wait until it fades away. Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: 13/f .. This is my 8th grade year of cheerleading , but we don't have to try out to be on the team or anything , but I would like to make LaSalle Cheerleading, and you have to be required to do some flips and toe touches. I would like to know how to get a toe touch down , like a good one .. I got one year ... And would I look incrediably stupid if I decided to start gymnastics? I'm not flexiable at all && I can't even do a kartwheel. Thankss =)

If you've got the money for gymnastics, I say go for it. :] It doesn't matter if you're flexible or not, and you won't look stupid even if they put you in, like a kids class or something. My friend joined gymnastics to work on her tumbling, and she was in a class with a bunch of kids when she first started. Now she's really good. It does take a while, but if you work really hard and listen to the instructor, you can get it within a year. I would ask this same question to spoiledandtoxic, cuz she knows where you're coming from and can tell you what to do. Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

bio

About me...I'm 21 and living a normal life. My husband and I just recently got married and we work and do the main things that keep us going. I love to give advice to people in need. I have experienced a lot in my short life, so don't be shy!