adviceman49 answered Monday February 6 2012, 9:28 am: What is your hurry to give away the most precious thing you have to give to a man? Why do you want to give this to someone who will value it only as a notch on his belt? Your virginity is not a party favor to be given to the first boy who says I love you.
First of all: teenage boys do not know the difference between love and lust. When they hit puberty they are hard wired to find sexual relief. To them lust and love are the same. Next; once you have sex with one boy he has to tell someone. Usually he tells his best friend, who tells someone else. Before you change your panties again it is all around school that you put out and you become very popular. Whether you have sex with any of these other boys or not they will say you did to protect their image. Now you have a reputation as being easy. This is not something you want.
Sex is a beautiful thing between two consenting adults. It cannot be beautiful if you are trying to hurry so as not to be discovered. Then their is also the worry of pregnancy and STDs. We must get literally 20 to 30 letters a week from girls your age worried that they are pregnant.
At 13 the only birth control that is available to you are condoms. Condoms when worn properly are only 85% effective and they do not stop the transmission of all STDs. Do you know how a boy should properly wear a condom?
Lastly; while your physical body may be capable of the act of intercourse you and your body are not mature enough yet to be having intercourse. A boy can literally get off using a knot hole and some visual stimulation. A girl needs more. A girl needs comfort and security, love and affection to enjoy sex. Sex is not a party favor. Not something you do in a parked car or the basement hoping you are not discovered. This is not what sex is meant to be and not what you as the female will enjoy in this manner.
Sex at the right time and with the right person is worth waiting for. The right person will cherish the gift of your virginity even if you two don't end up getting married. TO cherish this gift he has to be a lot older than 13 or 14 years old. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
Carriebeca answered Monday February 6 2012, 7:50 am: I think 13 is too young to be in a sexual relationship, but I'm old-fashioned! I'd imagine most girls lose their virginity around 14-15 years old.
There are so many things to consider; it's better to be in a stable relationship as casual sex can lead to STDs and the problems they can leave you with; at 13, children (sorry, I do consider 13 year olds as children!) aren't fully developed emotionally so can get badly hurt; older men can target youngfor sex, children, drawing them into drug abuse and prostitution for their financial gain; most importantly, children deserve a cgood hildhood, to enjoy themselves playing with friends, foing childish things before they have to grow up.
Hope this helps, let me know if you need further help? Best wishes X. [ Carriebeca's advice column | Ask Carriebeca A Question ]
xxmymatrixmanxx answered Sunday February 5 2012, 9:55 pm: If you can, you ought to wait. Unless you've been in a relationship for a really long time or you sincerely trust the person who you are with, it's best to wait. I lost my virginity at age fifteen but had already been dating the guy I was with for nearly two years. I don't regret it, but if I had had sex with him when I first started dating him at age 13, neither of us would have appreciated it as much or understood how meaningful it could be.
I lost my virginity at 13 years old, and around 15 became sexually active. I regret it very much. I have to deal with the fact that my husband, knows exactly how many women he's slept with, and I can't remember or count the amount that I have because I started at such a young age.
Wait until you are ready, when you know it is the right moment. If you have to question it you are in no way ready for sex, and at 13 you are in no place for commitment. Sex is a commitment, to yourself, to your partner, to be safe and secure. You have to trust the person you are having sex with as well.
I'm telling you to wait, but if you have already done it you're not a whore, you're not a bad person. You just made a bad mistake, people (like me) do it all the time.
Zane answered Sunday February 5 2012, 5:07 pm: You are too young
In many states the legal age to even consent to sex is 16, Why do you need to have sex at your age anyway? You are ONLY 13! Are you able to properly care for a child?.....No. Do you have a full time job, Live on your own and pay your own bills? No. These are all things you should think about before just jumping into sex. Also, Having sex at your age is something you will very very likely regret later on in life. Wait a few years, Until you are at least 16. [ Zane's advice column | Ask Zane A Question ]
Siren_Cytherea answered Sunday February 5 2012, 2:47 pm: From a legal standpoint, not in most states, no. 16 and up is typically the age of consent. Any younger than the legal age of consent means, even if your partner is the same age, you could be charged with statutory rape (as in, raping each other).
13 is far too young to be making the kind of life-altering decision that is losing your virginity. If you don't use the right protection, you could end up pregnant, and that's a whole 'nother situation. A few minutes of intimacy is not worth a lifetime of having a baby you weren't ready for, having to go through an abortion, or having to put a child up for adoption.
I lost my virginity to my high school sweetheart. I was sixteen. I have no regrets, but I also no longer have the luxury of telling a new boyfriend that he's not the only one, or only the second one, that I've been with, and that the first guy was just a mistake. Of course, I would never be able to be with someone who required that of me. Compatibility is important, as is trust. Having sex the first time hurts a LOT unless your hymen is already broken - and believe me, you'd know. I had been playing sports, riding horses, using tampons, and all that, before I had sex, and it wasn't. Anyway, you want to have someone who really cares about you to share that special moment with. At 13, no matter how mature you are or he seems, I doubt that's the case.
At 13, you're going through lots of changes. The boys around you are also going through changes. They (and you) are going to want to experiment. When you're LEGALLY old enough, if you're okay with the possibility that you won't be the last girl that he sleeps with (and no matter how much you may think otherwise, it's unlikely), go for it.
If you're really in love, and that's really what you want with one another, BE SAFE. Use a condom, use birth control. Get on the pill. More than anything, don't ever let him pressure you to have sex if you're not ready.
If you have any hesitations at all, say no. If he really loves you, he'll wait until you're ready.
holahayley56 answered Sunday February 5 2012, 1:26 pm: 13 is far too young. There really isn't an average (that I know of), but I know personally a lot who did after High school. It wil seem like a lot will lose it in high school, but it really isn't as many as you think. It doesn't matter what the average is or when who does what, it's when you feel most comfortable, when you are with someone you really care about and feel a deep connection with.
It's not good mentally or physically unless you care about the person.
nascarfan1987 answered Sunday February 5 2012, 1:22 pm: I would say when they are married, but in this time in day, most girls begin to lose their virginity around 16-19.
Personally, you are too young to be having sex. When I was your age, I use to want to have sex, but than I realized that if I got pregnant, I would be TOO young for a kid, and my parents would disown me.
Whats the rush in having sex? Whats in it for you? Have you found a guy who will love you for enterity? DO you want to have regrets?? Once you start having sex, it will be hard for you to stop. Than you will end up with multible partners, and you will never have a stable relationship because guys will think that you are easy, and you probably will be. No guy will want a relationship with a girl who lost their viringity at 13, and no guy will want to be with someone long term because they won't respect you, because you don't respect yourself.
If you are seriously wanting to have sex, than you need to talk to your dad or mom about getting put on birth control. If you are too scared because you think they are going to be mad, than thats a sign that you aren't even responsible enough to be having intercourse.
God forbid that you get pregnant. All it takes is one time. One times and thats it. HOw would you feel walking around your school, pregnant? The mean stares, gossip, and even your teachers looking down upon you?? That stuff really happens. You could always put it up for adoption; but personally, abortion is out of the picture; why blame an innocent child's life just because you wanted to open your legs AT 13, and get pregnant?
Thing long and hard. Guys will respect you more if you still have your virginity.
This is what helped me get my virginity.
I always thought about the day I got married, and went on my honeymoon.
I thought about having my husband, and him telling me that he saved himself me for me. That I am his first, than I thought about me telling him "Oh I'm sorry. I had sex when I was 13, and I've had 12 sex partners" you know how disgusted I would feel??
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