omg bbz after reading your entry i was practically in tears - i've experienced exactly the same problem regarding pushing people away to spare yourself the pain of them hurting you or betraying your trust...
My advice to you is not to do what i did - i took up kickboxing and wound up with the attitude of being civil to ppeople and having a laugh with them expecting each second of laughter to be the last so that i wasn't as dissapointed when it happened! I met this guy and he was unbelievable - i fell in love...truely in love, amd i never wanted to have to lose him and go through that pain but the fact that i wouldnt open up to him made him think i didnt trust him....i look back at this now and realise that he was the one for me...and i threw that away!

You're prbably thinkin 'i need help not your life story' but i do have a point...Basically i'm hoping that by sharing this with you, you will see that not everyone is out to hurt you, you're hurting yourself by not giving them a chance...

If someone enters your life and at that moment it feels good/right let it happen...if time passes and you get closer to them and you feel free and trusted go with it...And if anything should happen that hurts you, remember these good times and think - well i'm hurting now, but the last few weeks/months/even years have been amazing....You never know - you could end up finding the one for you, just like i did - only you will have the sense not to throw it away!

I hope this helps you somehow
Best of Luck
Biker-chic
-xXx-

Awwww
Just try too get to know him - find out what his interests are, hobbies that sort of thing. You never know - you may get talking more and find you have loads in common! Be confident and just as long as you are not too forward he should respect you and you will get to know where you stand!

I hope this helps!
Good Luck!

Biker_chic
-xXx-

Believe it or not your story doesn't sound weird [at least not to me :)] Just so you know - I am female and i am also bisexual.

I have been in this situation with my boyfriend and a mutual female friend of ours. I know that previously (a long time ago) my boyfriend had a mild crush on this mate of ours (she is straight) so i got her to agree to a threesome - an idea we were both eager to try out for a laugh. My boyfriend was eager too though he expressed these same concerns to me in confidence. It is natural to feel that by doing things with another girl you are going to hurt your girlfriend or make her jelous..talk to her on her own, tell her exactly how you feel and all of your concerns - leave nothing out! I am sure that after expressing these feelings to her you will both be able to make a mature decision on whether or not to go ahead with the arrangement. Even if you just decide on some boundries to the threesome at least everyone will know where they stand and what is and is not acceptable.

I hope i have helped!
Please write back if you need further advice, or if my advice has helped in any way!

Biker_chic
-xXx-

I am bisexual so im advising you as someone who knows :-)

If your friend is bisexual, she may not yet even realise it to be as serious as you see it. She could just be having a laugh not realising how she acts is causing these thoughts to arise...However, if she is bisexual she may not say anything due to the fact that she is worried about losing you as mates.

You need to ask yourself...does this make any difference? Are you asking this question because you are 'afraid' she is bisexual or 'worried' she is hitting on you? Will it change your friendship if she is? If not then you should just forget it...It doesn't matter if she is or not as she is still your mate.

However, if this does matter to you so much you need to think about just how good a friend you are and where your loyalties, and thoughts lie

I hope i have helped
Biker_chic -xXx-

The amount of times this sort of thing has happened! :-) Tell Kaleb that you are not over him and that you still have high opinions of him and feelings haven't changed, but that there is another guy that you like as well and that you stand a chance with. Explain to him that although you are not over him you want to take the oppertunity with this other guy because as you said...You can't wait for him forever.

If Kaleb's feelings for you are strong and his intentions are good he will fight for you and ask you out or tell you he wants to be with you...If not, as harsh as it seems you should sieze the moment and be happy...You're not moving too fatst if Kaleb put you on hold!

I hope i have helped!
Good Luck!
Biker_chic

Dear stressed

Your mom is only trying to help you prepare for your SATs so that you can do your best and get good results. I know it is difficult when you want to be out with your friends but know you have to revise. Spending some time away from your revision is good as if you revise all of the time it is likely that you will forget everything you are learning. However, this does not mean that you do not revise.....You too must set aside time to stay inside and revise for your SATs as they are important. Don't worry too much, just revise and do you best.

I hope i have helped you
biker_chic
-xxx-

Fistly...girls like guys with confidence, so she won't make you feel like a fool just for trying to talk to her.

Think of something you have in common and then try talking to her about it...Give it a few days if you can, and then try telling her that you would love for her to go to the moonlight dance with you...and ask if she would...Then all you have to do is wait for an answer - either way you will feel good knowing how she feels towards you.

I hope i have helped!...GOOD LUCK!
xxx

If your feelings are that strong, then you have nothing to be embarassed about...like most girls im sure she would admire your courage and confidence.

:-) xxx :-)

Dear worry guts.

Don't worry about the exams, just concentrate on the work. No-one likes revising but it has to be done...Find someone at home that will spend some time with you and work through some of your revision guides etc.

I'm sure your parents or older brothers/sisters (if you have any) will be more than glad to help you if you are serious about doing well in your SAT's

I hope i have helped you

GOOD LUCK and i hope all goes well

xXx

Well...in all honesty, where i go to school, students get off, hug, kiss, hold hands etc without getting into trouble.

Skirts are not meant to have splits in them (though we do have rule-breakers lol *shifty eyes* not me *shifty eyes*

As for rules i hate...There is this one about 'extreme hairstyles' that i just don't get...It's so pathetic...as if it matters what your hair is like!!! lol

xxx

Im sorry to hear about the loss of your mother.

You are still only 13 - just give guys a chance to get to know you. It's not because your ugly - i'm sure you are very pretty.

You shouldn't change who you are just to fit in!
However, everyone has room for a little change...For example:

1. try experimenting with a few different hair styles

2. try wearing a little bit of make-up to give you an all-over, even complexion and bring out your features

3. decide which colours compliment your skin tone and work on that a bit too.

Don't change thinking that it will get you noticed, because it wont...or at least not for the right reasons...Let guys get to know you for who you are and you will find someone soon!

I hope i have helped you!

xxx

Here are a few bands i love...Not all 'hardcore' but there are some death metal/Black metal etc:

>Metalica>



My Chemical Romance
Avenge Sevenfold
Bullet for My Valentine

HIM



Panic At The Disco
Arctic Monkeys
Tenacious D
AFI
Greenday
Slipknot...

If you like hardcore then i have marked those in the above list which may be more appealing to you with '< >'...

ENJOY!!! xxx

Of course you can french kiss with braces...It doesn't make a difference...and i should know! lol

It varies now-a-days...Some 13year old boys would expect open mothed kisses, others may not...it all depends on how close you are and how the boy feels...and how you feel - just because they may kiss with open mouths doesn't mean you should feel you have too as well!

Flirt with him and let him know how much you like him. if he likes you as much as it sounds like he does then i'm sure he will over-come his shyness and ask you out...but you have to give it time.

If he really is too shy and doesn't appear to be ready to make the first move, and you like him as much as you seem to like him...You will have to ask him and i'm sure he will say yes!

I hope i have helped you! ...Good Luck!!! xxx

lol He was trying to say that he thinks your cool, as in great to hang around with...Its a guy thing! They can never compliment you without saying it in some sort of code with some random slang in it...it's so confusing sometimes! lol

xxx

It takes a lot of will-power to rise above things like this...It is good that you are not jumping to conclusions. However, it is not always a good idea to just let them keep talking behind your back. It might just be my perspective, but from my experiences i strongly believe in viocing your opinions and standing up for what you believe in. Try talking to those who you heard were saying things behind your back...tell them that you don't like it and that if they have a problem they shold tell you to your face so that the issue can be dealt with in a mature way, rather than just being rumoured between people.

I hope i have helped you...Good Luck! xxx

Your in luck...i too have been in a similar situation and know what you are going through.

It would help if you included your age, but i can still give you some advice on handling your situation. Firsly, you should talk to your friend...tell her that you really value her friendship and never want to hurt her or lose her as a mate, but that you can't help the feelings that you have. Tell her what you have told me...that you can't stop thinking about him. If she is a good friend she will understand and will talk to you. But don't just tell her you love him out of the blue!

Secondly...Explain that you know they are in a relationship and that you don't want to ruin it but that you had to tell her how you feel.

Don't expect too much...If things work out for them as a couple, then don't be offended or think you will never find anyone else...You will!! At the moment it seems like he is the only one, but trust me...there is someone for you, and that person may not be him...So don't give up on love just for one guy...But don't just keep your feelings to yourself or it will make things worse and you will risk losing your mate as well.

I hope i have helped...Good Luck! xx

wow...i can relate! I had a similar problem with a girl i was friends with for over a year.

it would help to know your age and how long you have been mates, but never-the-less, all i can say to you is, don't rush into teling her as you would be risking your friendship if you do not know how she will react. Telling her striaght, how you feel may cause problems, but i know from experience that if you keep it to yourself you will start finding it hard to be around her.

Leave the soccer game on the field...it's just a game, so it doesn't matter who plays better. Leave it for a while and just make suttle hints every now and then...if she likes you, she will make it known soon enough...GOOD LUCK! xxx

Don't worry about it...If she has just left you for no reason then she isn't worth it and most likely doesn't know what she is missing out on. If you feel that bad about it, then try talking to her, just say that you don't understand why she is acting the way she is and ask her if there is a particular reason. However, if she still doesn't talk to you then leave it...Find someone who will appreciate you and show a bit of respect - she can't be much of a friend to do something like that.

Talk to him...tell him that you value his friendship but that you would prefer not to be anything more than friends as you would hate to ruin the bond you have with each other. If you explain it to him and tell him you still want to be friends then i am sure he will understand.

I have had many issues with bullying and negativity at home as well as many other negative and unfortunate incidences in my life.

It is because of all of this negativity and heartbreak that i am who i am today, as in some ways i have become a stronger person.

It is due to this that i decided to put together an advise column for which anyone who has issues such as i have, can have someone to talk to who has experienced it themsleves or can relate to their issues. My advice column is for people of all ages with any sort of problem and it is strictly confedential. E-mail me with your problems and i will reply as soon as i can with advice on the situation at hand.

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