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Hiya people, my name is jemma! I am doing my A levels at the moment, and loving being a student. I'm taking: classical civilisation, english language, photography and buisness studies!! I still don't know what i want to be when im older but not many people do at my age! For the time being im happy with hanging around with my friends and enjoying life. In my spare time i love to watch movies and im absolutely addicted to msn. so ill speak to you soon. love jem xxxxxxxxx
Gender: Female
Location: South Yorkshire
Occupation: College
Age: 17
Member Since: August 24, 2006
Answers: 13
Last Update: August 27, 2006
Visitors: 2368

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helpmebrenda
sorry if this is long but i really need advice ok i live with my dad, and i need to get bras, i need/want a cupped bra, but
1. i don't know wat size i am and i dont know how to figure it out.
2. and i dont know which 1 would be right for me
i would like to have 1 regular sports bra, 1 regular cupped bra, and 1 sports bra that is sorta cupped. how many bras do you think i should need? how do i get those bras with my dad?
as much advice as possible plz help me!! thx (link)
Well they do great underwear in marks and Spencer’s, and they will measure you and help you find the type of bra you need.

As for how many that depends on your wardrobe. if you have strapless and halter neck tops then i would recommend having a multi task bra. push up bras are always great to have to give you that extra boost if you want to impress or just feel bigger. Having at least one black and one white bra is recommendable because a black top doesn’t look as good with a white bra. cupped are always better and having enough to change your bra every 2 days max would be good. As for shopping with your dad he could give you the money and go get a coffee while you get on with it.

hope i helped love jem xxxxx


heyy im not a geek but im not popular at the middle school im at now, because i'm shy and because of the people i hang out with. im iin 8th grade right now, so i want to make a fresh start for highschool next year. andi want to be popular, and i want to be the leader of the group, or the queen b or whatever. but if thats impossible, then i at least just want to be like the 2nd most popular or just in the popular group. any tips?? (link)
Heya babes. well tell you what when i was in school i used to hang around with the popular group and it's not what you think. they go around picking on people and their lives are pretty much boring because they always worry about their looks and being better than everyone else. It wasn't till my last year when i finally plucked up the courage to hang around with people who are actualy nice. coz lets face it, it's scary being on the popular kids bad side. i had the best time of my life because i was having fun and i didnt care what anyone thought about me.

anyway year 9 doesnt normally have popular and none popular everyone gets on with life and start to find those things rather silly. so don't worry babes you will find a good group of friends and won't care if u are popular or not. And as for being shy im sure you will come out of your shell and become your own person and not need a group to lead. hope i helped love jem xxxxxxxx


PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!! I AM BEGGING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am an 18 year old teenager and have a problem. I wondered whether you could possibly offer me any advice
I think i MIGHT have suffered from neglect/emotional abuse in my past. I need some advice.

You see when I first started high school I lost two people of whom I was very close to.one of these was my Grandmother who practically raised me.She was the one who took me places, taught me, supported me and basically looked after me. I used to see her almost every day.I can never remember my real mother doing any of this. However I never noticed the lack of support by my parents…..until she died.

I started to refuse to go to school on-and-off for my first two years in high school because of this...i did not want to move on and lapsed into serious depression and somedays i couldn't find the will-power to get up. I'd just lie in bed all day i felt so depressed. But my parents never helped me.they must have seen how depressed I was and yet they did nothing. Isn't this neglect. They knew I had depression and yet they did nothing.

Then i refused to go to school altoghether at the end of this second year as i could no longer cope any more. I ended up having 5 meagre hours of home tuition per week for the last three years which should have ben spent in school. my parents didn't get me any professional help or anything. Isn't this abuse/neglect.

I ended up failing almost all my GCSEs. the thing is i don't know anything about anything. i haven't been out of the house or seen people for about three years. But my parents won't teach me things such as how to use a bus, how to open a bank account, buy a phone or anything. it's as if they don't care. my mum NEVER offers me any sort or support or advice on anything.

So basically
I refused to go to school for my first two school years

I then refused to go altogether

I ended up having 5 measly hours of tuition per week for the last three years that I should have been in school

I then failed almost all my GCSEs

But throughout all this nobody helped me
I will have to go on a very low level of course at college.However I am worried that i am not going to get the support i need at home and might lapse into depression again as a consequnce and be too depressed to get up in the mornings. Because my parents sort of expect me to raise myself!Is this OK or is this neglect. My mum’s also still not particularly nice to me.

I think I need to tell the college about this lack of support. But i don't want to get my parents in trouble. MY mum is dying of ca.ncer and i couldn't live with myself if she died in prison. But i need help. Do you class what i've just described as abuse? Also thre have been many times when my mother has been emotionally abusive towards me. She can say such thoughtless things she makes me cry. then tells me to 'shut up' or says 'you're always moaning'.

I want to tell the college so that I can get the emotional support I need and also so that they can understand one of the reasons I felt I couldn't cope with school and therefore couldn't cope. I

am 18 years old now, Can i tell the college without getting my parents in trouble with the police? Or in trouble with social services? Can i tell the college without getting my parentts into trouble???? I NEED a definate answer. please help me[:(]
Who would the college contact if I were to tell them about the neglect? I DO NOT want to get my parents into trouble. Can I safetly tell the college (now that I'm 18) about the neglect without getting my parents into trouble with social services or the police??????????? PLEASE CAN SOMEBODY GIVE ME ANY ANSWERS!!!!! I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME AND NEED ADVICE DESPERATELY.[:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(]
I LIVE IN ENGLAND
(link)
wow babes, as im not qualified for something like this and i have never known anyone in a situation like yours, all i can do is suggest you go see a doctor about the depression. it is clear at this stage that you are not going to get any help from your parents, and the only person who can pull you through this is you. The doctor will be able to help you and then perhaps when you are ready you can speak to a careers adviser and get your education sorted, get a job and move out. things are going to be scary and i can only imagine how you feel but if you go to a doctor they will be able to help you get your life sorted. I don't know if your parents will get in trouble for this but it is doubtful they will go to prison, you will probably just be removed from their house and put in a youth centre for a while until you have a job and can afford your own place. Dont worry during this time im sure you will make friends and they will teach you thing's about the world you have missed or more correctly what your parents have failed to teach you. im sorry i couldnt help more love jem xxxxxx


I was going out with this guy and then i told him i just wanted to b friends for a little while and give it a break .. well then like the next day i talked to him and he said he was goin out with my step sister.. what should i do???because it really makes me mad she done that and i dont think she really likes him she just dont like me very well and she wants too make me mad
(link)
hmmmm.....well babes it seems to me that you are angry at the wrong person. you may have asked to be friends but it still doesnt give him the right to date your step sister. i think he might be getting back at you for wanting to go on a brake, and he probably knows what your step sister is like. well tell you what babes you should give him a bit of his own medicine. go out with a really fit lad, a mate of his if possible. If your step sister is only going out with him to get at you then she will see that it is not working and end thing's with him. this then gives you the upper hand because he will probably beg for you back and then it's up to you whether or not you do. so good luck babes love jem xxxxxxx


Ok, this might be long so I'm sorry hehe. Im 15 and female and have been with my boyfriend for a year. When we first got toegther he was really romantic and sweet (imporant thing for me) and it was great and we were getting on really well. Now it seems as if he couldn't care less about us. We only see each other twice a week...if that. Everytime he leave to go home I end up in tears because i feel like things are beyond repair. He often makes little comments which make me feel like crap, he also brags a lot which make me feel worse because he has a lot of money and gets a lot of things. He spends a lot of time with his mates and has said in the past that they come before me, which is fair enough. He doesnt very often make the effort to see me so I'm always changing what I'm doing for him. All the romantic stuff is gone, and I guess I just feel like he would rather be with someone else. I havent told him any of this because in the past if I have had a problem with him he acts like he is perfect and thats its my fault and then makes me feel like im some kind of paranoid-weird girlfriend. I want this to all work out because I love him so much and I know deep down he loves me too. But if he doesnt start showing that he cares then I'm going to have to let go..... if i can that is because its failed int he past.... any advice is very much appriciated! thank you! :) (link)
Hey babes, well this is a problem i can relate to. I was with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years and like your boyfriend he started treating me like crap, my self-esteem went down hill and i was constantly crying. I know you love him so much and probably can't see your life without him but trust me waiting for him to return your love is hopeless. im sorry to say it but it's true. You need someone who thinks your the most beautiful girl in the world even if you just got out of bed and your make-up is a mess. You have been with this guy for a year and you should be able to tell him how you feel, and his friends should NOT come before you, not this far into a relationship. I know it's going to hurt and you will feel like there is no one else for you in the world but there is. The longer you leave it the harder it will be, so look at it like this, you can either stay with him and be unhappy for a long time or end thing's and let the heeling process begin. So please darling leave him, i put up with mine like that for a whole year and it nearly destroyed me, im goin on 4 weeks now and it still hurts but im feelin more confident and happy with each day. You deserve to be treated like a goddess not like you don't matter. You will make it through babes i promise. love jem xxxxxxxx


I am a 20 year old female college student. I have been dating this guy for almost three years. His parents adore me, his brother likes me and im practically best friends with his sister. Usually, it's the mother or father that don't like the girlfriend, but in my case, it's his grandma! She'll say rude and mean things like "your nose is big too" or "well, as long as he likes your body, thats all that matters" (after telling my boyfriend's sister how skinny she is.) I respect her and have never had a problem with her until now. We are in a serious and committed relationship, but im afraid his grandma will say something to him or ruin our future. What should I do? (link)
Try telling your boyfriend what she says's to you, he might say your being paranoid but then at least you have tried that approach. If it works then I’m sure he will have words with her and she will stop. If he doesn’t however I think the best option for you would to confront his grandma yourself, ask her what her problem is with you, if you can fix it then try if she is just being an old hag then I think the best just to ignore her. If your boyfriend loves you and it was meant to be then he won't listen to her, and if he does then you can obviously do better. I hope things turn out ok for you babes. love jem xxxxxxxxxx


My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 4 months now. Are relationship is normally awesome. But lately he has been accusing me of cheating on him with my best friend who is a guy (who is really hott) His looks has nothin to do with our friendship. But I am completely dedicated to my boyfriend and only him. I tell him that time and time again. But the only way our relationship is going to last is if he accepts the fact that my best friend is going to always be a big part of my life. So if anyone had any suggestions on how to get my boyfriend to understand it would be really appreciated. (link)
well....it sounds like your boyfriend is accusing you of cheating not because he thinks that you are but because you have another man in your life to look out for you and take care of you. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't like that because to be honest no man does, every man who is going out with someone wants to be the only man to protect them and look after them and doesn’t want or need anyone else help to do so, if you get upset your boyfriend wants you to go to him, and not your best friend. It also doesn't help that your best friend is fit, and you probably tell him thing's you don't tell your boyfriend, just imagine his best friend was a really fit girl and think how insecure you would feel. I know you regard both of them highly and spend equal time with them, but if you see yourself being with your boyfriend long term try spend a bit more time with him, your best friend will understand and will still be there for you to fall back on. If thing's don’t change after a while remember that friends are forever and boyfriends come and go. Hope I helped love jem xxxxxxxxxx


well... im male. 15. ive given oral sex and fingered girls...but thats as far as ive gone. im uncircumsized and i feel just a bit awkward with it... should i be worried about being turned down for a blowjob or sex just because of that? (link)
babes you shouldn't even be worried, being circumcised has no medical advantages whatsoever and if you were born with it then it must be there for a reason! As long as you stay clean a girl won't mind to go down on you, and I’m sure if you use it right girls definitely won't be complaining about the sex, probably the opposite babes. xxxx love jem


13/f I dated one of my best friends for like five days about 2 months ago. When I broke up with him, he took it really hard, he wasnt himself for weeks and I felt awful. About three weeks ago, I started liking him again and I told him and we started going out again. I now really don't like him like that, but I just can't brake up with him. I can't bear to hurt him again, plus all my friends would hate me. When we first started going out they all were like you better not hurt him again. I don't know what to do. The guy is like so in love with me it's not even funny. What should I do? (link)
ok babes, if your not happy in the relationship then the best thing for both of you is to end it. He may be in love with you but if you can't return the affection then your only going to make yourself miserable and he will suffer for it. As you said he is one of your best friends and he will pull through. Your friends won't be hate you, just let him down easy and be honest. Darling your 13 and you don't need to pinned down in a relationship your not happy with. Don't leave it too long and good luck babes. love jem xxxxxx


i have liked this guy at my school for 2 years, n we got put in the same class this year. well he is really quiet and shy and never talks 2 anyone or is at school much. i wanted 2 see what kinda person he was, so i got his aol s/n off a friend n added him, however i didnt tell it was me. we became mates n started talkin for like 5 hours at a time.. he confided in me a lot of stuff, like about his bad childhood and depression etc. he says i'm one of the few people he really likes. n he tells me people spread shit about him at our school n he has few friends cause hes shy. he thinks i go 2 another school. oh and i sent him a pic of a friend of mine whos a pro model.

i feel awful bout the mess i've got myself into, cos he is really attached 2 me now.. keeps saying what a wonderfull person i am, and how beautifull i am. he also wants to meet up.

i dunno if i can tell him it was all a lie cause hes really fragile. im movin school soon cause we are moving, n all along i was plannin on telling him how i feel on the last day. i asked if he knew "me" and he said he did know who i was, but had never spoken 2 me before (i listed a bunch of people from school and said i knew them) i was thinkin of saying 2 him.. you should talk to my friend (me) shes nice... and she said some good things about you when i asked her bout you, and shes movin school soon.

i know it was sick to do this but what do i do now? how do i fix all the damage i could have possibly done? i didnt mean for it to go this far. i was only plannin 2 talk 2 him once. i guess its good he likes the girl hes talkin 2 cause thats my personality, but he doesn't know its me! please help. i've liked him for so long. thanks. (link)
Well babes i have to say you seem like a great person, not a lot of people would do what you did and it seems you have helped him a lot. It is easy to get carried away when you like someone and i can understand how u got into this situation. He may be fragile but you have a good friendship and telling him would be your best option. You may not have been truly honest with him thus far but if you are leaving the sooner you tell him the better, don't do it on the last day because that is sure to make thing's worse for him. As for the picture, send him one of you and tell him your sorry. Thing's will turn out fine and im sure he would love to have a friend at school. You never know, by doing this he might start going to school more often just for the chance to see you. chin up darling if you are honest thing's will turn out for the better. love jem xxxxxxxxx


okay, well im 14 years old, turning 15 in a month. i've been with my boyfriend now for a little more than 11 months. and me and my friends were in my town the other night, and we saw these 3 really hot kids and we gave them our numbers. and they called us and we hung out that night. then the next day all my girl friends, and all the guys we met went to the movies. im going into 9th grade, and the guys we met are going into 11th. one of the guys likes me, and i think about him alot, and im scared im starting to like him too. he told me he likes me and he asked if he should like stick around. i mean idk what to do. its not fair to my boyfriend. so please please please help me! (link)
If you are having strong feeling's for this guy then you need to be honest with yourself. An 11 month relationship is a long time but the temptation has found it's way to you, and you are right it is not fair on your boyfriend. If you can see yourself with this new man in ur life and you think he is being genuine then go for it, but look at your current relationship first. Are you still with him because you feel comfortable, and can you imagine being without him? or perhaps there is something in the relationship that is lacking and you have found it elsewhere. If you say yes to any of these then babes your young and it will be painful at first but in the long run it will be worth it. We only live once and you don't want to be tied down at your age. As for the age gap, he is going to be more matture than you (well partly) so don't let him push you into anything, do thing's at your own pace and im sure thing's will turn out fine. good luck babes love jem xxxxxx


Right, heres the deal... i have a best friend who is 23 in december. I am 17. He is an amazin person and friend and i am falling for him fast!! he has just split with his gf and although they werent together that long, he is still really upset about it. I want to tell him how i feel but i know this isnt the right time! When do you think i should? If i should at all? I know the age difference doesnt matter as i am mature for my age, and we get on very well as friends! What do you think i should do? Stay friends? (link)
Well one thing is for sure, he has a lot on his mind right now and telling him outright how you feel could be disastrous. You are probably past the stage were you could still just be friends, so be the shoulder for him to cry on, but perhaps start to hint about your feeling's towards him. You already get along with this guy very well and friendship is the crucial basis of any relationship, but be prepared that he might want to reamain just friends. This may make things awkward for a while but if your friendship is strong you will both pull through.
I hope you get your man babes and everything turns out well. love jem xxxxxxxx


my boyfriend of a year has just recently taken up karate. he has a real job until 2 and his classes are from 7-8:30 sometimes 9. it takes up so much time that we barely see each other anymore. i think the karate is pointless because he is 19 years old and he's only doing it because he envy's his best friend who has a black belt. my boyfriend has been doing it for 2 months now and he's not even a white belt. how can i tell him enough is enough and quit without him getting angry? (link)
Well perhaps you are looking at it the wrong way. There is always competition between boy's, no matter how silly it may seem to us girls. Apparently it has to do with their ego's. Instead of asking him to quit, why don't you ask him to cut down on the amount of classes he goes to a week. By doing this you are not going to become the controlling girlfriend, and will get to spend more time with him. If this doesnt work out and you are realy determined to spend more time with him then why don't you take up the classes, you will benefit because he will be happy and you will still be able to kick his but if need be.
love jem xxxxx




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